Epilogue 1

WINDSOR

One Year Later.

"Mrs. Graham, did you hear me?" I don't know what to say as I stare numbly at the doctor.

A comforting hand on my arm draws my attention to where Lux sits next to me. "It'll be okay, Windy." Tears well up in my eyes, and I struggle to hold them at bay. "What are her options, doc?" Lux asks what I can't seem to vocalize.

"Well, there's IVF, of course. Artificial insemination and surrogacy. Or possibly adoption. There are medical advances every day and many options to explore. And you have time. You are so young, Windsor. This isn't the end of creating a family for you and your husbands."

Husbands.

They don't know that I came to see a fertility specialist a month ago for testing and then again today when I received the staggering phone call yesterday that my results were abnormal.

A hostile uterus, she said.

The mucus in my uterus is killing their sperm with no explanation as to why the first time we had sex, I was able to get pregnant, and now, I can't seem to.

"Take some time, speak to Tanner and Tucker. I'm going to email you all the information for your choices, and then we'll meet again in two weeks, okay?" Her smile is kind as she stands and offers me her hand.

Lux holds me steady as we exit the office silently until we're out on the bustling Manhattan Street. Warm wind whips through my hair as I struggle to breathe, and it feels like the world is closing in on me.

Dragging me over to a bench, Lux sits me down and forces my head between my legs with the instruction to breathe deeply and clear my mind. I don't know how much time passes before I feel her stand up and two warm bodies surround me.

"Sweetheart." Tucker draws me up into his chest and the dam breaks. I sob into him as Tanner rubs soothing circles on my back. "You don't get to carry this on your own, Windsor." I nod against him, wishing that were true.

"It's all my fault, though," I wail. Tanner pulls me over to his lap, stands up, and begins walking.

"No, babe, it's not." I feel his lips on my temple as we slide into the back of the car. Tucker follows in behind a moment later, and I see Lux standing on the sidewalk, hand to her lips as she watches us leave. "These things just happen, remember? We'll do whatever you want or nothing at all, but let's go home, relax, and allow us to remind you how much we love you."

My eyes burn from the tears as I try to process their easy acceptance of what I'm so utterly failing at. "I couldn't protect our first child, and now I can't give you more." Hiccupping as I cry, my nose runs, and my eyes are swollen, but they never care about that.

"Windsor," Tucker snaps as he grips my jaw in his hand, turning my face to look at him. "Don't say that shit again. Life is unpredictable, and we can't control everything. Please don't place this blame on yourself."

He's right, of course; I know this, but it doesn't make it any easier. I want to give them everything, and a family is the one thing they want most in the world. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths, focusing on centering myself. Everything they say is true; I just need to accept that some things are out of my control.

I must pass out because the next thing I know, I'm being tucked into bed with a husband on either side of me, and it's not until their hands begin to wander that I realize we're naked. These men are insatiable, and I love it, but tonight, that's not what this is about.

Tonight, they're loving me the only way they know how by caressing me and whispering sweet words into my ears, making promises of forever.

A forever I already knew was mine.