Prologue

WINDSOR

One Year Ago.

"Miss James, your results." I'm trying not to hyperventilate as I'm handed the results of my very last exam. My most important one. The one that will set the tone for the rest of my future.

"Thank you." I shakily grab the envelope from the nameless person. Like an idiot, I stand in the hallway staring at it, my heart rate growing from mellow to hyper-speed in about three seconds. These results…they're everything I've worked my adult life for. If I open them and I've failed, it will have all been for nothing.

"I need to sit down." Leaning against the wall, I slide to my butt on the cold tile and cross my legs like I did while studying in bed late at night, listening to Mom cough and wheeze from what turned out to be lung cancer over the years.

By the time we realized anything was truly wrong, it was too late. She's in hospice care now, and it's basically a waiting game. Six months ago, the doctors said three months. A month ago, they said days. Last week, they admitted her and said hours.

From her glossy eyes and pallid, mottled flesh, I know the end is coming. I'm as prepared as I can be for losing my only parent. I hardly know my dad. He came around a couple of times a year but never stayed long. He kept Mom from moving on and finding true happiness. He gave her just enough love to keep her hooked on him.

I haven't seen him since the last time he left five years ago, just before I turned eighteen. Sometimes, I wonder where he might have gone, but mostly, I'm angry with him. Mom is dying, and she's doing it with just me by her side. She didn't get that love she dreamed about, like Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, or Casablanca, even. She always wanted that. They may have ended tragically in many ways, but the love shared was felt through the words, through the screen. She would sigh even when there was no happy ending.

I love my mom; I would do anything in the world for her, and these results are what she's been waiting for. I know they are. Once she's assured I'll be okay and that I'll have a bright future, she'll let go. She'll have her peace and die as alone as she lived.

"Here goes nothing." I rip open the envelope and close my eyes. Unfolding the paper, I hold it in front of my face and slowly open my eyelids. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust and realize that I can't read it because it's upside down. Flipping the page, my gaze focuses on a few simple words…

Congratulations, you've passed your final exam within the ninety-fifth percentile.

Oh. My. God.

Oh my God!

Holy shit.

"I did it!" My words bounce off the walls, and people wandering around me turn to look at the crazy girl on the floor. I don't care, though. I passed. I actually passed. I'm the first in my family to go to and graduate college.

I have to tell Mom.

Dread follows me from the university all the way to her hospice care facility. They've been so good to us these past couple of weeks; it's almost like a second home. I rush past anyone vying for my attention as I enter the building Mom resides in and dash straight to her room.

"Mom," I murmur quietly, not wanting to startle her.

"Windy," she sighs and reaches for me. Her hand can barely lift from the bed, and when it does, she shakes so violently that her strength wanes and her arm drops. "Did you pass?" She can barely keep her green eyes open as she smiles. So much faith in me.

"I passed. I did it. I'm going to be okay, Mom." I want to be excited, but it's harrowing. I don't want to lose her.

"I'm so proud of you, Windy. I wish we could have celebrated." Her voice weakens with every word.

"I have you, that's all I need." Tears pool in my eyes as I sit next to her.

"I have to tell you something. I should have done it long ago." Is it possible to feel a person dying? Because I swear, I can feel her soul leaving already.

"Anything," I whisper, clutching her hand.

"Your father." I hate any mention of him. "He had two other lives."

I frown. "I don't understand."

"Sisters, you have two younger sisters." She shuts her eyes. "I love you so much, Windsor. You were always the light of my life."

"Mom?" Her hand goes limp in mine. "Mommy?" I'm not ready. "Help me!" I scream, logically knowing there is nothing anyone can do for her, but that doesn't matter.

"Miss James?" One of the nurses comes in with a doctor behind her as they pronounce my mother dead.

"Just five more minutes, please," I beg. I'm not ready to let her go, and no amount of time will ever be enough, but I'll take what they can give me.

"I'll come back to check on you," the nurse says and leaves, closing the door behind her.

"I wish you didn't have to leave me. I wish we could have gotten you proper help sooner. I wish for so many things, Mom." I wish I could find my father and give him a piece of my mind.

Sisters.

I have two of them.

Maybe one of them knows where he is.