24. Cope

24

COPE

I woke to flames, the sort of heat that could burn a man alive but was so enticing you’d happily be reduced to ashes. It was everywhere, pulling me in deeper until I was lost.

The form in front of me arched, letting out a soft moan. My eyes flew open, finally taking in the source of the heat. Sutton’s blond hair lay in wild waves around her. Only pieces of her features broke through it all: long lashes that fluttered with each exhale, her adorable nose, her plump lips, slightly parted, in the perfect shade of pink.

My dick stiffened where it had made itself at home against her ass. Shit. Shit. Shit. But I didn’t move. Didn’t release my hold on her. I couldn’t.

Sutton had woven some sort of spell around me. One that held me captive. The only thing was, I didn’t want to escape.

She let out another of those little moans, and my balls responded with an ache that would likely require a very cold shower later. She shifted and then froze, suddenly becoming aware of her surroundings. But I still didn’t let go. I knew I should. Knew I was the last thing Sutton needed, but I couldn’t make myself release her .

“Morning,” I rasped, my lips teasing her ear.

“You’re awake,” she squeaked.

“Not sleep-talking.”

“You, uh—I should move.”

My mouth curved. “Should you?”

“You, um, have…” Her words trailed off.

“I’m hard, Sutton. Because it’s morning, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been holding you all night. Plus, your ass is perfect.”

She let out a choked laugh. “Thank you?”

“Really, I should be pissed as hell. This is torture to wake up to.”

Sutton shifted then, pulling away and making me groan. She rolled over to face me, the early morning light casting her in a pink glow. Those damn bumblebee sweats made her look even more adorable. “Are you okay?”

“You mean other than having a hard-on from hell?” I asked.

She pinned me with an exasperated look. “Cope.”

I chuckled and then took a mental survey. I felt far better than I had any right to. “I’m good. Thank you for waking me. And for staying.”

Sutton’s expression softened, and her fingers found mine beneath the covers, linking us. “Of course. How do you feel now? Were you able to sleep?”

I stared back at the woman opposite me. “Slept better than I have in over a decade.”

Those turquoise eyes flared. “A decade?”

I shifted slightly, not releasing Sutton’s fingers. “I haven’t slept well since we lost my dad and Jacob.”

“Nightmares?” she whispered.

I nodded. “Haven’t been able to share a bed with anyone since because, well, you saw.”

Sutton’s mouth opened into an adorable O shape. “But last night—you—I?—”

“You’re different.” That’s what some part of me had recognized in my half-asleep state last night. Maybe because I’d felt her calming effect at the funeral. Maybe because I’d just fucking needed her .

Confusion swam in Sutton’s eyes, but she didn’t speak it. “I’m glad it helped. Having me here. If you need to talk about?—”

I shook my head quickly. That wasn’t a place I could go. Not ever. If I really dove into the memories, the loss, the guilt, I wouldn’t come up for air again. It would drown me.

Sutton worried her bottom lip. “Okay.”

I heard the pain in that single word. Fuck. She was the last person I wanted to hurt. “It’s not you. I just—I can’t, Warrior. Can’t go there with anyone. It’s too hard.”

The pain transformed into empathy. “It’s not healthy to keep it all stored up. You don’t have to talk to me, but you should talk to someone .”

My gut churned. “I’ll think about it,” I lied.

Sutton was quiet for a moment and then reached to lay a palm on my cheek. “I know what it’s like to have memories that haunt you. I’m here if you’re ever ready.”

The feeling in my gut shifted and changed, a different sort of fear taking root. “Sutton?—”

My phone’s alarm went off. I cursed as I broke contact with her and moved to shut it off. By the time I fumbled with the damn device, Sutton had already gotten out of bed and was moving to the door.

“I need to shower and get Luca up. Are you okay with taking him to hockey today?”

Nothing in Sutton’s words was cold, but I felt the wall she’d put up between us. One that kept me from knowing what she’d been through and what ghosts she was hiding. Fear’s icy claws dug in deep.

“Of course.”

“Thank you,” she said quickly before ducking out of the room.

I collapsed back onto the pillows, playing different moments over and over in my head. Ones that hinted at Sutton having been through more than she was letting on. My fingers itched to type out a text to Anson and ask him to have his hacker look into Sutton in addition to his dirt-finding mission on her landlord.

I fisted my hand, resisting the urge. I knew Sutton would see it as a betrayal, and I had a feeling the only way to get her to open up would be to share my scars.

My phone dinged, breaking me away from my swirling thoughts. I grabbed the device and swiped my finger across the screen. The sibling text chain popped up. Today’s group name was Flounder’s Fan Club . Flounder was the fish we’d had growing up that our mom finally confessed was actually half a dozen fish. She’d replace them when they died.

Fallon

Cope, did you make it back okay?

I wasn’t surprised that she was the one checking in first. I also knew she’d already likely gotten all the info she could get from Arden.

Me

I’m back. All good. Getting back into the hockey coach life today.

Kye

Hope you don’t break one of the kid’s noses if they look at you wrong.

I glowered at the screen.

Rhodes

Not helping, tattoo man.

Kye

What? You guys want to know what happened, and your tiptoeing around will take way too fucking long. I haven’t had coffee yet.

Fallon

Careful drinking that from now on because I’m going to mix some ex-lax with your creamer.

Shep

You know you’ve stuck your foot in it when Fal is threatening you, dude.

Fucking great. It was clear my siblings had a side chat going where they were all worrying I was cracking.

Me

I’m okay, really. Marcus is a douchebag who deserves a broken nose. But I only bruised his ribs. And I’m reining it in. No more punching in churches.

Kye

Notice he didn’t promise not to punch elsewhere.

Fallon

You punched him in the CHURCH? I thought it was in the parking lot or something.

Shep

Fal has a point. You could get smited for that or something.

Me

You guys are giving me a migraine.

Rhodes

Seriously, Cope. Are you okay? We’re worried.

That just had more guilt digging in. My siblings didn’t need more stress right now, especially after everything Rhodes and Shep went through in the past few months. But I knew the only way to ease their concern was to give them something. A piece of the truth but not all of it.

Me

I’m not okay. Losing Teddy hurt like hell. And it messed with my head. But I’m pulling it together. Sutton helped.

There were no responses for a moment, and I worried I might’ve screwed up. With my family, admitting you weren’t okay could lead to eight people showing up on your doorstep.

Fallon

I like her.

Kye

Careful, dude. “I like her” is Fal code for her planning your wedding.

I couldn’t help a low chuckle at that. Fallon was the most hopeless romantic of us all, and nothing could quash that.

Fallon

Kyler Blackheart, I mean Blackwood, I am going to glitter bomb your office.

Fal followed up her text with half a dozen glitter explosion GIFs.

Trace

My advice? Don’t ignore her. Remember my truck?

This time, I didn’t chuckle, I outright laughed.

Rhodes

She’s tiny but vicious, and she’s got a harsh vengeful streak.

Fallon

He told Mom I was sneaking out to meet Cooper at the river. He deserved way worse than a truck full of magenta glitter!

Trace

I tried for months to get that shit out. Nothing worked. I finally had to sell the damn thing. And it wasn’t even me. It was Kye!

Kye

Dude, you did not just throw me under the bus.

Fallon

Blackheart, you’re going down. Prepare for glitter Armageddon.

More glitter GIFs, emojis, and even a video were sent.

Arden

It’s six in the morning. Why are there 82 million glitter explosions on my phone?

Rhodes

Fal is planning epic retribution.

Arden

Makes sense.

I flipped the chat to silent and dropped the phone onto the mattress as I slid out of bed. My siblings might be interfering as all hell, but I was so damn lucky to have them. A pang lit along my sternum as Jacob’s face flashed in my mind. Who would he have been in this chat? A shit-stirrer like Kye and me? Law and order like Trace? Or something uniquely him?

We’d never know. And I’d have to carry the weight of that for the rest of my days.