1. Sutton

1

SUTTON

TWO YEARS LATER

“Do you have it all? Do you promise? My stick and my pads and my helmet and my skates and my?—”

“Little dude,” Thea said, humor in her voice. “I saw your mom check the list three times. She’s got you.”

I sent her a grateful smile but knew it was also tired. I’d been up since three this morning baking The Mix Up’s usual fare and three dozen cupcakes for a sweet sixteen. My eyes burned, and I was running on the strongest coffee we had.

But it was worth it. Because I was living my dream. A bakery of my own, with an apartment above the shop that meant I could do those early hours with nothing more than a baby monitor that alerted me when Luca woke up. I wasn’t exactly grateful for what had happened to me, but the civil settlement I’d received after my attack had given me just enough to make the trip cross-country and get The Mix Up off the ground.

Luca cocked his head to the side in that adorable way he had as he took in my coworker and best friend. “You’re sure , Thee Thee? ”

She pinned him with a mock stare. “Would I steer you wrong?”

He grinned at her. “Did you sneak a Cookie Monster cupcake into my lunch?”

Thea held out her hand for a fist bump.

Luca smiled wider and tapped his knuckles to hers. “You’re the best!”

I slung the massive gear bag over my shoulder—equipment that had taken me months to save up for, even though I’d gotten most of it used. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

Luca’s nose wrinkled. “Gross, Mom.”

He’d lost the penchant for calling me Mommy more than a year ago, and I still missed it. “Come on, future ice-rink superstar. We need to get going or we’ll be late.”

He bolted for the back hallway.

Thea gave my arm a squeeze. “You okay?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I challenged. She’d been through an ordeal weeks ago that had almost cost her everything. But I wasn’t surprised that she was already back at work despite my—and her boyfriend, Shep’s—protests.

Thea rolled her eyes. “The doctors cleared me for work two weeks ago. I gave Shep an extra week as a courtesy, but you know I was going stir-crazy.”

I pulled her into a quick hug. “I get it. But just know, we’re all going to be worried about you for a while.”

She squeezed me back hard. “So lucky to have you.”

“Damn straight,” I said, releasing her.

“ Moooooom ,” Luca called from the back door.

Thea laughed. “Better go before Wayne Gretzky over there steals your keys and drives himself to the rink.”

I shook my head but knew she was probably right. “Call if you or Walter run into any issues.”

“We’ve got you covered, boss,” she called as I headed down the hall.

Luca was bouncing on his toes, practically vibrating with excitement, but he didn’t break the rule of heading into the back parking area without me.

“Okay,” I said, and Luca shoved the door open, letting some early morning sunlight stream in.

As we stepped outside, I took a deep breath and let the fresh pine air fill my lungs. I’d given myself another dream by settling in Sparrow Falls. The small town nestled in the Central Oregon mountains had an endless supply of fresh air. People stopped to help their neighbors. And I felt…safe.

My phone buzzed as if challenging that.

I squeezed my eyes shut, praying it wasn’t Roman as I slid the device from my pocket. Relief rushed through me at the sight of a friend’s name.

Rhodes

Family dinner Sunday. You in? Say you’re in. I need some hang time with my best guy.

I grinned down at the screen. Shep’s sister, Rhodes, had done her best to pull me into the Colson crew, a family whose ties were a mix of blood, adoption, and foster care, but whose bonds of love were stronger than any I’d ever witnessed.

Me

We’d love to. Ask Nora if I can bring dessert.

Rhodes

I know we’d all love that. Plus, it’ll save us from Lolli volunteering her “brownies.”

I chuckled as I beeped the locks on my small SUV. Rhodes’ grandmother was notorious for trying to sneak special ingredients of the marijuana variety into her baked goods.

Me

I promise to save everyone from the munchies.

I headed toward the SUV’s back hatch as Luca climbed into his booster seat, but my gaze couldn’t help but zero in on Roman’s name. I didn’t know how he kept finding my new numbers, no matter how often I changed them. I kept telling myself we were safe as long as he didn’t know where we were. But that didn’t stop the dread I felt from pooling in my stomach at each new message.

Unknown Number

Come on, Blue Eyes, help me out. For old times’ sake. Once this debt is settled, we’ll both be free. xx Roman

The only problem was that Roman’s debt was tens of thousands of dollars, and that was with the Petrovs alone. Who knew who else he’d borrowed and begged from or promised to repay? All I knew was that even if I had that sort of money, the payoffs would never end.

I shoved the phone into my pocket and lifted the back hatch. Out of sight, out of mind. I grunted as I hoisted the massive duffel bag inside. If a seven-year-old’s gear was this heavy, I could only imagine the weight of an adult’s.

Shutting the hatch with an oomph , I headed for Luca’s open door. He knew the routine. While he was allowed to buckle himself in, I always had to check. I gave the seat belt a quick tug as I scanned the booster seat and latches. “You’re good to go.”

“Duh, Mom.”

My lips twitched. Seven going on seventeen. “All right, Superstar. Off we go.”

I climbed behind the wheel as the sun beat down on us. It felt all sorts of wrong to be heading to a hockey camp in the middle of July, but I was grateful for the childcare. Summer meant camps for Luca because I still needed to work. Thankfully, he was always excited about them, and none more so than the one focused on his obsession.

I turned right on Cascade Avenue, the main street through town that housed a total of three stoplights. The buildings were mostly made of aged brick with an Old West vibe that gave them a different sort of character than Baltimore had. The fact that the town made it a point to have flower beds at each corner, and businesses decorated with window boxes and pots, meant Sparrow Falls had a charm you couldn’t beat.

Pair that with the natural beauty that surrounded it, and I knew I’d never leave if I had a choice. The Monarch Mountains were to the east, four peaks still coated with snow in the middle of summer. To the west was Castle Rock, a series of golden rock faces that were a climber’s dream. The area called to outdoor enthusiasts of all kinds. But that wasn’t what it gave me. For me, it was one thing and one thing only…

Peace.

After everything that had happened in Baltimore: the attack, the months of recovery where Marilee slept on my floor to help care for Luca while I recovered from what we’d told him was a car accident while I was in a taxi, the fear that clogged my throat every time there was a knock at the door… I’d needed that peace more than air.

“Mom, did you know The Reaper started playing when he was six ?” Luca asked, cutting into my spiraling thoughts.

“You might’ve mentioned that,” I said, trying to swallow my laugh. Thanks to Luca, I had memorized just about every fact about his favorite hockey player on our closest team, the Seattle Sparks.

“He had the third most goals of any player in the whole league, Mom. I’m gonna be just as good as him. Watch. And I’m gonna be fierce, too. He slammed one guy into the boards so hard he broke his arm.”

I winced. “Hurting people isn’t a good goal, Luca. And I don’t like hearing you talk like that.”

My son let out a huff of air. “He wasn’t trying to break the guy’s arm. But the guy did a dirty hit on The Reaper’s teammate on purpose. Teddy got hurt pretty bad. And Reaper was just trying to protect his bro.”

His bro?

I shuddered at the facts Luca had laid out. “This doesn’t sound like the best sport for you to take up. What about soccer?”

“Soccer’s dumb, Mom.”

“To some people, it’s not,” I argued.

Luca just stared at me through the rearview mirror as I made the turn toward Roxbury, a nearby town with the ice rink and the bigger stores we needed every so often.

“What about golf?” I asked hopefully. Golf seemed contact-free.

“ Mooooom , have you seen what they have to wear?”

My kid had a point there. I slumped against my seat. Maybe he’d do this camp and realize he hated hockey. Wearing all that gear had to be a total pain. And ice rinks were cold.

Luca chattered on and on about hockey, The Reaper, the Seattle Sparks, and anything else even remotely having to do with ice-related things. And, just like always, I couldn’t find it in me to keep him from something that lit him up. So, I gave in. I’d scrounged for the gear, scrimped for the exorbitant cost of the camp, and drove him the twenty-plus minutes to the rink so he could have his dream.

We pulled into the rink’s parking lot, and I grabbed a spot at the end of one row. I cringed when I saw Evelyn Engel helping her son, Daniel, out of her SUV. Everything about the woman was…perfect. Down to her name. Not in a flashy way, but in an I-have-everything-together way.

Her mid-range SUV didn’t have a speck of dirt on it, and I was sure there wasn’t a Goldfish crumb to be found in the back seat. She wore flawlessly pressed khaki shorts that hit mid-thigh and a cap-sleeved, pale-pink blouse. And, of course, her jewelry matched perfectly.

I hated myself for the envy that flared. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to juggle all the balls. As I looked down at myself, I took in the flour smeared across my jeans and the dab of blue frosting on my shirt that I knew would leave a stain. My blond hair was piled in a bun that I was pretty sure I’d put in place with a butter knife this morning.

Sighing, I turned off the engine. “Ready?”

Luca was quiet for a moment, nibbling his bottom lip.

Concern swept through me, and I twisted in my seat to face my kid. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer right away, but I waited patiently, knowing he would in good time. His gaze dropped to his lap. “What if I’m not any good?”

My heart gave a painful squeeze. “Well, it’s always hard when we try new things, right?”

Luca’s turquoise gaze lifted .

“Remember when I was trying to learn how to make a soufflé?” I asked.

A smile tugged at Luca’s lips. “You said a lot of bad words.”

I winced but laughed. “Words we’re not supposed to say, right?”

“Right,” Luca agreed quickly.

“But I just kept practicing and finally got it. No one expects you to know everything going into this. That’s why you’re at camp. It would be no fun at all if you already knew everything.”

Luca’s shoulders slumped. “If I knew everything, I could be playing for the Sparks already. That would be the best .”

I grinned at him. Already wishing his life away while I desperately tried to hold on to these vanishing moments of childhood. “You know, I bet getting to the Sparks will be a lot sweeter if you remember how hard you worked to get there.”

Luca mulled that over for a moment. “The Reaper did say playing peewee was his favorite.”

“See?” I had no idea what peewee even meant, but if it kept my kid in the moment, I’d take it.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Luca declared, his confidence surging back to life as he unbuckled himself.

“That’s what I like to hear.” I reached back and gave his knee a squeeze. “Love you more than bees love honey.”

He rolled his eyes but still gave me what I wanted to hear. “Love you, too, Mom.”

Releasing Luca, I slid out of my seat, only to be greeted by Evelyn’s warm smile.

“Hi, Sutton. How are you?”

“Good, thanks. You?”

“Wonderful. Excited to see them start camp today. Will you be able to stick around and watch?”

It was an innocent question, but it was also a dagger to the chest because I couldn’t stick around for more than a handful of minutes. I had to meet a supplier at the bakery. It felt like I was always missing things. Moments. Ones I’d never get back.

“Not today, but later this week,” I informed Evelyn .

She pressed her lips together but nodded.

I felt the disapproval. I didn’t need another reason to feel like one of the items I was currently juggling had fallen to the ground. So, I turned and moved toward the back hatch where Luca was bouncing up and down.

I couldn’t help the small laugh that left my lips. I loved seeing that excitement, the life coursing through him. Lifting the hatch, I grabbed his bag. “Ready, Superstar?”

“I’m gonna smash ‘em into the boards just like The Reaper!” he cheered.

A wave of nausea slid through me, but I forced a smile. “Or you could just practice skating really fast.”

Luca shrugged. “That, too.”

“Sutton,” Evelyn called from around the side of my SUV.

I tried not to cringe and forced a smile as I hoisted the bag over my shoulder. “Yes?”

She sent me a pitying look. “Your tire.” She pointed at the rear wheel. “Looks like it’s going flat.”

My gaze snapped to the tire. It was almost completely deflated. A burn lit behind my eyes as I stared at the vehicle. It wouldn’t be just one I’d have to replace; it would be all four. I’d worked so hard to get an all-wheel-drive SUV since Sparrow Falls saw its share of snow, but that meant when one tire went, you had to replace them all.

I closed my eyes for the briefest moment, trying to do the mental math on what this would cost me. I’d emptied out most of my savings to get Luca set up for this camp. This would completely wipe out my emergency fund.

“Mom?”

Luca’s voice cut into my swirling thoughts, and I forced my smile wider as I turned my gaze to my kid. “Everything’s okay. I just need to change this tire real quick.”

“I have AAA,” Evelyn offered.

“That’s okay,” I said, my cheeks burning. “I’ve got it.”

“Here,” she said. “Give me Luca’s gear bag. I can get them all checked in while you handle this. ”

My chest tightened, but I nodded and handed her the bag. “Thank you.” I turned to Luca. “You gonna be okay?”

He just grinned and nodded. “Daniel and I are going to dominate!”

I wanted to laugh but couldn’t quite get myself there. “I’ll be inside in just a minute. Have fun dominating until then.”

Evelyn gave me a little wave as she guided the boys toward the rink. Everything hurt. It felt like I was holding my life together with duct tape and a prayer and had just run out of both. But I couldn’t stop now. I had to keep pushing on.

Heading to the rear of the SUV, I pulled open the panel that revealed the emergency tire. One that stated it was good for only sixty miles. I sighed. I’d have to go to the mechanic’s on my way home. I tugged my lip between my teeth, doing a silent equation for how long that would take and praying I’d make it back in time for the supplier meeting.

I heaved out the tire and jack, along with the instruction manual. After a thorough read, I got the jack in place and began cranking. As if I needed one more failure reminder today, I was panting within seconds. Workouts had been another thing that had fallen by the wayside. At least my arm muscles were strong from everything I did at the bakery.

My hands slipped from the jack crank. “Mother frickin’ son of a biscuit-eating grandma.”

A low chuckle sounded behind me, and I froze. There was something about the tenor of it. The way it spread like smoke and coated my skin in a pleasant shiver.

Crap on a cracker.

I tried to hold on to my mad as I sought out the source, but that failed the moment I took the man in. He stood in athletic joggers and a tee that pulled taut over a broad chest. It took my eyes a few seconds to reach his face because he was so damn tall. Everything about him was finely honed muscle. Like a work of art or a weapon.

Thick scruff covered an angular jaw, and his nose had the slightest crook that made me wonder if it had been broken before. A ballcap shielded part of his face from view, but I could just make out his eyes—a blue so dark it was the sort of color only found at the bottom of the ocean.

“Gotta say, that’s some creative language,” the man said.

Hell, his voice was just as bad as his chuckle. The sort of tone that had all the tiny hairs on my arms standing at attention. “I didn’t realize someone was lurking around like a creeper,” I snapped.

The man held up his hands in surrender. Hands that looked strong. Long, thick fingers and callused palms. The kind of hands that could lift you up and throw you on the bed— hell . I needed to quit that line of thinking and fast.

“Was just heading over to see if you needed some help,” he said. “Looked like you were doing battle with that tire.”

“I’m good.” My voice was tight, my back molars clamping shut.

The man arched a brow. “You sure about that? I’d hate for any harm to come to a biscuit-eating grandma.”

I scowled at him. Seriously? Was he making fun of me when I was obviously on my last thread of sanity? “I’m fixing it. And I don’t need some overgrown sportsball person getting in my way.”

The man’s lips twitched. “Sportsball?”

I gestured at him. “You’re obviously some sort of athlete. The gear. The muscles?—”

“The muscles, huh?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone.

My scowl turned to a glare. “Not interested.”

The man just chuckled again. “Understood. Good luck to you and Grandma. Don’t steal any of her biscuits.”

“Whatever,” I muttered.

“Oh, Warrior?”

I glanced up, still glaring, only harder now that the man had given me a nickname.

He grinned at me, the action hitting me somewhere low I didn’t want to look too closely at. He gestured to his cheek. “You’ve got a little something right here.”

I stilled as the man turned to walk away. Even his walk was hot. Probably because his ass looked muscular enough to bounce a quarter off, even in those damn joggers.

I needed to get laid.

Scrambling to my feet, I hurried to the driver’s side door and flipped down the visor. Grease was smeared all over the side of my face.

Great. Just great.