22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

In Neon's Glow

"Pretty!" Dani declared as she stared out the window at all the neon paint, glow sticks and brightly shimmering jewelry adorning the people in the crowd.

"It is, isn't it," Hawk asked as he held her on his lap while Aaron carefully fitted her new pink harness and backpack over her waterproof wings. "But it can also be very scary, which is why you need to wear this whenever we're outside of the RV and never try to fiddle with it or take it off, or it will make that loud, scary sound that hurt your ears."

She nodded solemnly at hearing that. "I no like it or the door one."

"We know, sweetheart," Aaron said as he adjusted one of the straps, "We didn't think you would. That's why we had you all listen to them when we bought your packs and installed the door alarm, so you'd know what it sounded like."

"And do you remember what you're supposed to do if you ever hear one of them go off?" Hawk asked.

She nodded solemnly.

"Freeze and no move until you get me."

"That's right," Aaron said. "Because it will only make that sound if you are too far away from one of us."

"Then why do we need to have leashes on?" Liam asked as Kelly adjusted his pack to make sure that it was snug.

"You see out there?" Kelly asked as he pointed out the window.

"Uh-huh."

"There are a lot of people out there and the three of you are very small. It's hard to see small people in an ocean of big bodies," Aaron explained. "We want you to enjoy the bubbles and the splash pad, but we don't want to lose you in the process. This way you stay safe and still get to have fun before we perform."

"Yey!" Ella squealed, doing a little wiggle in her seat as Cade helped her into one of the three specially designed packs that Aaron had rush ordered for the kids in order to make it possible for them to enjoy a night at Rocktoberfest.

They planned to roll out in the morning, to beat the chaos of folks leaving after the end of the final day. More than that, Hawk wanted to give the kids the opportunity for more child friendly activities. Aaron had been on board with that and a second RV for just them and the children. Neither had expected the rest of the band to be okay with leaving the desert before the final encore. Hell, they'd been one of the last bands to leave the year before and they still hadn't seen everything they wanted to. Kelly had been infatuated with one of the fire dancers and shared a few sizzling nights with him, while he and Aaron, well they wouldn't be participating in any of the drunken antics they'd gotten up to the year before.

One look at the bright smile on Aaron's face and the conspiratorial grin he wore as he whispered something to Dani, but only after turning to wink at Hawk, let him know they were cooking up something, and damn he was totally okay with that. Better than being half-dragged, half-carried back to their tour bus by an equally drunk Aaron, who'd dropped him on a cactus, then laughed so hard after tripping backwards over a tumbleweed, he pissed himself. Both had been in rough shape the following morning, and Hawk remembered Aaron being annoyed, but unwilling to discuss what was wrong.

Days later and several hundred miles away, Hawk recalled wondering if they'd even had fun that night. He'd asked Aaron, who'd shrugged and told him it was just another night. That should have been enough to stop them there and send them straight to rehab, hell it should have been enough to stop him, when days later, a brooding Aaron had blown up at him for bouncing some random guy on his cock while calling him by Aaron's name.

Dunno if you were too drunk to notice or just didn't give a shit, but I was right there, fucker. The least you could have done was wait until I'd left.

Hawk hadn't known how to answer that, mainly because he didn't know if he'd thought he was fucking Aaron and never realized it was someone else, or had deliberately picked up the guy because he looked like Aaron.

Either way, they'd still been recovering from the damage that had done to their relationship when Arden died and none of the who hurt who bullshit mattered to either of them.

I wasn't jealous, fucker, was just pissed that I meant so little to you that you couldn't tell the difference between me and some rando, even when you're holding one of us in your arms!

Not one of his finer moments, and yet there Aaron was, excited to spend all the time he could with Hawk and the kids.

How'd I get so lucky?

How stupid do I have to be, that I almost threw this all away?

Aaron caught Hawk watching him and smirked, then flicked his tongue out the way he'd taken to doing ever since Hawk had demanded he put it to good use if he was gonna do that. Now Aaron only seemed to do it when there were too many people in the room for him to do anything but laugh at Hawk ‘cause dammit, the man knew what that simple little gesture did to him and how it sent his thoughts spiraling straight into the gutter.

Aaron had been the one to suggest that the rest of the band leave him at the campgrounds with Hawk and the kids and head to Rocktoberfest in time to see the opening acts. He hadn't wanted them to be robbed of any part of the experience, but he'd had no desire to miss out on the fossil and gemstone dig he'd helped Hawk plan for the kids.

Hawk had been just as shocked as Aaron when to a man they all decided to stay and join them on the outing, which had proved to be a ton of fun and an opportunity for team building too, as they'd put Declan in charge of their collection spot. He'd worked with Liam to carefully sift through each bucket of rock and sand the rest of them collected, carefully revealing their treasures and divvying them up among the group.

Turned out none of the guys minded leaving the morning after their performance, either. Cade and Micah were dying to hit a few water and amusement parks, while Declan had some spots he was interested in stopping for acoustic and recording purposes. When he'd shared them with the rest of the band, Micah and Aaron both expressed a desire to go with him.

As they continued bonding with one another and ultimately the music they intended to make together, it was good to see Aaron's anxiety loosening it's hold and allowing the man Hawk had fallen in love with to shine through.

Several times over the course of their road trip, Hawk had seen stunned looks on Cade, Micah, and even Declan's face after they'd witnessed Aaron go out of his way to do something just to make things easier for someone else. Honestly, Hawk hadn't even known things like those backpack harnesses existed until Aaron had come back from the post office with the box and shown Hawk what they were and how they worked.

It's not just so they can enjoy a few activities at Rocktoberfest. I worry sometimes about not being able to keep three of them close when we're out together. One distraction is all it takes for a kid to be snatched, or to dart after something they saw or even be lured away. The assholes and idiots in the world are getting tech savvy and constantly coming up with new ploys to snatch kids. I'd never forgive myself if one of them got lost on my watch, or worse.

The way Aaron had bitten his lip, looking hesitant and uncertain when he'd shown Hawk the leashes that went with the fully functional backpacks had spoken volumes about the way he'd imagined Hawk would take it.

Dani is still small enough to ride in the front of the cart, but what happens if I need to shop with all three?

No, I get it. I was scared as hell the first time I took them out, still am, and paranoid when someone the least bit creepy looking shares an aisle with us.

So, you don't think we'd be treating them like pets or something to put leashes on them or have proximity chips in their backpacks that go off whenever they step out of range?

Hell no. I've always hated when someone tried to criticize a parent for using a leash to make sure their kids couldn't run off. It's not fair. Just because it's not something you had to do with your kid, or wouldn't do because you think it looks weird, doesn't mean that parent doesn't have the right to use one. Thank you for ordering these and for caring so much about the kids to do it even when you weren't sure how I'd take it.

You were passed out cold when I came across the demo video. I didn't want to wake you when you are always the first one up trying to get breakfast ready for everyone.

Hey, you've made it out every morning to help me, even if you're a little slow rolling out of bed.

Aaron had not only looked relieved by the end of the conversation, but he hadn't taken Hawk's teasing as an admonishment, which was a step in the right direction and something Hawk thanked Aaron's new therapist for. Instead of ducking his head and retreating when he felt like he'd screwed up, Aaron had started speaking up, even if it was hesitantly, to ask how he could do better and in turn, Hawk was beginning to open up about his own fears, which it turned out were some of the same as Aaron's.

They were both afraid of disappointing the children or not being enough. Aaron was afraid he'd be too lax with the rules while Hawk was afraid he was going to overcompensate and wind up sucking the joy out of things. Funny, but as he watched them work as a team with the band that Hawk was coming to see as his now as well, he was starting to see where they balanced each other out.

Until he'd had them all up at the cabin, he hadn't realized how much not having the support of his former bandmates had messed with his head when he'd first taken custody of the kids. Yes, Aaron had tried to be there time and time again, but the way Ethan and Jason had broken things off had left such a sour taste in Hawk's mouth that he'd taken it out on Aaron and Kelly by keeping them at arm's length. Especially Aaron.

"Is everyone ready?" Aaron asked, his words cutting through Hawk's thoughts. Blinking, he realized that Cade and Declan were already standing outside of the bus waiting for the rest of them.

While the kids cheered, Hawk just nodded and watched as Aaron scooped Dani up to carry her out. Kelly had Liam's leash while Micah had Ella's, leaving Hawk to glance around to make certain nothing had been forgotten.

Nope.

Even the half frozen bottles of water Micah had set out on the counter had been collected by someone.

With so many of the fans crowded around stages and the music in high gear all across the desert landscape, the Bubble Box was damn near empty, just as they'd hoped.

"Bubbles!" Dani squealed as Aaron put her down to chase after them.

"It's on!" Liam snarled as he snatched up a bubble launcher almost as big as he was.

That was something else that had changed too. He never had to worry about whether Liam was getting enough attention. His new uncle's never seemed to run out of time to spend with him.

Declan had a bubble launcher too, and easy maneuverability over the smooth floor that covered every inch of the space, while Cade had a huge bubble wand he dragged through the air. The way they positioned themselves behind Liam left no doubt whose side they were on.

Liam's voice was already an awesome addition to any dark and growly song, which was why Hawk had started writing some things just for him to work on and had begun taking him horseback riding, something Hawk had lived at that age but not done in years. It turned out they both loved it.

Turning to see what other weapons were available, Hawk caught a blast of bubbles flush to the face and sputtered, inhaling several more as he waved his arms around, trying to bat them aside so he could see who was trying to bury him in bubbles.

The giggles were his first clue, then Hawk heard Aaron yell charge.

Holy….

…Shit.

Bubbles flowed over his head. They dripped off the top of his nose and oozed past the collar of his t-shirt, slithering a wet, soapy trail down the center of his back.

"Ack!"

Oh shit!

Ick!

Sputtering, Hawk swiped at his tongue as bitter, soapy tasting bubbles coated it and left a nasty tasting residue behind. By the time he'd cleared his vision, bubbles covered his chest and stood like a wobbly hat on the top of his head. Twinkling and popping they clung to his jeans, making him look like the bubble version of the abominable snowman.

"Better be careful guys or the bubble yeti will getcha!" Aaron declared.

Always on the same wavelength, even after all these years. Wrinkling his lips, Hawk held his arms out and shambled like a bad version of the Frankenstein monster. Bubbles dripped off him every time he moved, plopping onto the ground while the kids giggled at him.

Oh really?

"RAR!"

He wasn't sure who he surprised more with the noise that burst out of him, the kids, whose eyes went wide, or himself, right before he rapid shambled towards Liam who blasted him with every bubble left in that bubble launcher of his. For the second time that night, everyone ganged up on him, the bubbles resulting in a puffy mound Hawk occasionally reached through as he snarled and tried to catch someone.

Laughter surrounded him, and even he had to stop trying to be scary so he could laugh along with them, even as another round of bubbles caught him square in the face.

Something heavy and choking broke loose in his chest, and for the first time he realized that he did not have to struggle through all the changes in his life alone. While he may have lost Ethan and Jason, maybe it was better that they showed their true colors early on, before any of the kids could grow attached to them.

Just looking at the duo who'd taken their places, Hawk could see where Declan and Micah were a better fit. It wasn't just about the way they interacted with the children either. They'd rekindled Aaron‘s passion for creating and bolstered Kelly's self-esteem after being trashed in the dirt sheets by one of the bandmates who'd abandoned them. They sure as hell brought more to the table in terms of musical contributions, but more than that, they were genuinely nice guys who were passionate about their instruments and in honing their abilities with every passing day. As far as Hawk was concerned, it was good to be making music with people who gave a damn about what they created, rather than spoiled party boys.

There would be a reckoning, even if only on social media. No way was Hawk letting stand all the things the had said about Kelly, not when Jason was the one to introduce Kelly to the hard stuff. If they wanted to be jealous and pissed about Kelly's band being able to accept the Rocktoberfest slot when theirs couldn't, well that was on them for not sticking with him and Aaron. To resort to spoiled brat behavior like revealing secrets and deeds no one outside of the band knew about was juvenile. As far as Hawk was concerned, it was also the worse sort of betrayal and no one got away with doing that to someone he loved.

An ocean of faces and Aaron's gut twisted up in a knot that threatened to break him. At the edge of his vision waved something pink and purple, and he dialed in on Dani's wings, then Hawk's face, and all was right with the world. Aaron didn't need to see anyone else's reaction as he kick-started the first song in their set, and it was a good thing too, because grit and bubbles from their boisterous bubble war had started itching and burning his eyes less than a half hour after they'd started spraying one another, and it had only gotten worse after he'd rubbed his eyes too much. The lights at sound check had damn near blinded him, and made one eye water so bad that Cade had made his way to the medical tent in search of an eyepatch and been unable to find anything but a gauze pad for eye injuries. He'd grabbed it and brought it back in time to slip it beneath the awesome, heart-shaped leather pirate patch Rebecka had hastily crafted for him. The woman was truly a wiz with a needle and thread, and he couldn't wait to see if she'd be willing to craft some performance gear for him.

Okay, moment of truth world.

Time to rock out with your cock out!

That had been the message that had come in from Kazzy, not fifteen minutes before. Fuckin' Kazzy.

He'd have been tempted to go out there and play that first song with his shorts unzipped and his junk swinging around while he was playing, only he was certain that would be breaking the law, even out here, and more importantly, his nieces and nephew were in the VIP section and Hawk would skin him alive.

He'd settled for sending a dick pic, laughing when Kazzy responded in kind. It felt good to have that friendship intact again, but what felt better was the bond he was slowly forming with his new drummer, who really did have one of the most creative minds for drumlines of anyone Aaron had ever worked with.

Declan tapped out the intro and there was no longer time to be scared, or wonder why he hadn't insisted on Hawk being the one to play Rocktoberfest since the fucker was standing there.

Warm beneath his fingers, the strings hummed as he worked his way through the melody, Hawk's face splitting into a grin, then Liam started headbanging, and that right there was everything.

He strutted around Micah, swaggering, Micah moving with him, cocky, feeding him the same energy Aaron was sending him. Then they were dueling, each spitting out a riff, many of them improvised, the other shredding out a response. They'd upped the tempo until it was out and out war, then slid seamlessly into a duet, dueling with the final words to the song, instead of their instruments, and blowing the crowd away.

Holy shit….the rush!

Endorphins hit as the cheers crashed like a wave of energy, rolled him and left him howling as he revved up the crowd for the second song.

Fun!

Gods and monsters of the universe, holy shit this was fuckin' fun.

The perfect moment was coming and he whirled, snarling into the mic the moment his eyes met Declan's.

"Fuckin' bring it!" Aaron growled.

"Consider it brought!" Howled Declan, then his sticks flew over those skins and Aaron stood there fanboying for a moment, before sliding to his knees and bowing down to their new drummer, who whipped a stick into the crowd and quickly produced another in the time it took Aaron to regain his footing and lead them into the final verse of the Ecstasy and Angels.

Pin me down in the belly of the beast

Raw beneath those jagged bones

Stab me sweetly, stab me deep

Ecstasy and Angels guide me home

He saw Cade rocking out beside Hawk, with Rebekah on the other side of him, the three children positioned in front of them right in front of the barrier that separated them from the stage.

One song folded into the next, sweat poured off him and a few times he wobbled, vision spotty like he was about to pass out. The patch had caused a few stumbles too. Between the stage lights, neon, and laser lights, everytime he turned wrong he lost track of where things were. Micah steadied him each time, and played one of Aaron's solos for him so he could chug a bottle of water because holy shit! It was hot and he was getting completely overheated, but it was amazing to see an ocean of neon, waving hands, and faces covered in glow paint.

Kelly mouthed one more song, and Aaron nodded, then shook his head at the song Declan signaled to him. He held up a finger, needing his band to give him a minute so he could do this the right way.

"Alright, assholes, we are Broken Chorus and we've got one more song to play tonight, but in order to do that, I need Hawk to get up here and join us!" Aaron declared. "Come on man, move your ass before I ask security to chuck it in my direction."

Some people laughed, while others starting yelling come on Hawk! The kids, with a great deal of help from Cade and Rebekah, shoved at Hawk until he scaled the barricade and climbed up with a boost from security. Aaron handed Hawk a mic, while Micah passed him a spare guitar, then Arron pressed their foreheads together and stared him in the eye.

"I heard you," Aaron growled, making sure Hawk could hear him over all the yelling. "And I love you too."

Hawk was grinning as Aaron turned him loose.

"Play our song with me!" Aaron demanded as he strummed the intro.

Hawk hadn't lost a step when it came to preforming, he was still as magnificent as ever, but Aaron no longer felt like he needed to conjure up some unattainable illusion before he'd be able to measure up to him. Hawk was just being his same old badass self, so Aaron kept right on having fun with the crowd and interacting with their bandmates the way he'd been doing through the rest of the set and holy shit.

Talk about ramping up the energy levels.

Two of them singing meant being able to interact with two portions of the crowd simultaneously and once they figured that out, they'd have blown the roof off the place if it had one. As it was, people were holding up phones, some where openly crying, while a few had their mouths hanging half open as they stared at them in awe.

Aaron brought the song to it's midpoint staring into Hawk's eyes, winked and flicked his tongue out at him. Hawk flipped him off so Aaron cocked an eyebrow at him then sauntered away, making sure to shake his ass at him.

Being up there together again was better than perfect, but knowing he was going home with Hawk and the kids topped everything, even the rush of performing.

They ended the song with their arms around one another, foreheads pressed together as they laughed and trembled, clinging in the aftermath of all that exertion and energy.

"You know you owe the swear jar, right?" Hawk grumbled, shocking Aaron who started to pull back only to find that Hawk had too tight of a hold on him.

"The fuck for?"

"Those little a-bombs you dropped up there tonight."

"I thought there was a free pass when it came to singing?"

"I'm not talking about the words you sang."

A lightbulb went off and Aaron scowled at him. "Moratorium on the swear jar."

"In what way?"

"You don't have to pay penance for any curse word you can prove the other person already taught one of the kids," Aaron declared, smirking at him. "And I'm pretty sure you accidentally taught Dani both ass and asshole last week."

When Hawk opened him mouth to protest, Aaron kissed him to shut him up, then kissed him again, since they'd finally explained to the kids that they were together, as in a couple.

By no means was their journey complete. In those final moments on the stage, Aaron realized that Kelly had been right all along…these new songs weren't goodbye, they were just an introduction to a whole different beginning.