Chapter 28

I paused outside the large door, pressing my hand against it but not pushing, needing a moment. Every time I walked in this room was like a punch to my gut. I hadn’t been prepared a couple of days ago when we’d left the gym, it being my first visit with Izzy since Dallas, but it had only taken a second to see that the depth of her broken state hadn’t changed. I’d been doing my best to prepare myself every visit since, but my middle was gutted each time I saw my friend in her hospital bed regardless. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door, opening it just enough to slip inside, and gave it a gentle push to close.

Bouquets of flowers filled the room, their fragrance permeating the space, but I could only make out their outline. It was dim when I looked around, a small lamp beside the bed the only light other than the red and green coming from the machines hooked up to Izzy. I let my eyes adjust to the semi-darkness for a second and looked over at my girlfriend as she sat by her sister’s bed.

“Hey, babe.” Annie glanced up at the faint thud of the shutting door.

“Hey,” I whispered back, going to stand behind her. “No change?”

“No, well, yes, actually. Everything is looking good with her brain in terms of swelling and everything, and the doctors are finally ready to let her wake up. They said it should happen sometime this evening.”

“Really?” I perked up. “Where’s your mom? Doesn’t she want to be here?”

“She went down to the cafeteria for some food and coffee. She should be back soon.”

“I take it that’s why she didn’t want Archer to be here? He kept asking if he could come with me.”

“It’s better if he isn’t here,” Annie said softly, her gaze on her twin. “I’m already imagining…” Her voice trailed off, growing tight, and I began to knead gently at her neck and shoulders. She dropped her head, groaning in appreciation as I looked down at my friend, the sight of Izzy with so many tubes and bandages, her frail form covered in bruises…it just wasn’t natural. She still looked so broken, and I knew what Annie meant. I could only imagine how tonight was going to go when she found out…

Annie sighed, rolling her shoulders as I moved my ministrations to her neck. “Ugh, that feels so good. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she sucked in a breath that was fighting a sob. “She just looks so bad, babe.”

“I know.” I gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze in comfort, my fingers still working at the muscles in her neck. It was no question what she was talking about. Izzy looked like she was sleeping, but her expression wasn’t peaceful. It was almost like her unconscious self already knew to expect the worst. I fully believed on some level she was aware. That day we’d been late getting back to her, she’d actually sighed when Tucker took her hand and whispered in her ear. Some part of her had known he was there.

He hadn’t left her side since, his light snores filling the room from across the bed.

“I don’t know if she can handle it, Jet,” Annie whispered sadly. “You saw how Tucker took it. Izzy will be worse.”

I grimaced at the memory of my friend collapsing to his hands and knees at my feet, tears flowing violently, his pained gasps for air spread far too thin. It had taken a long time for Tucker to reach a state of control, and after our trip to the gym a couple days ago, I knew he was barely holding onto the little that he had.

I glanced over to where Tucker sat draped across the edge of Izzy’s bed, her limp, pale hand held in his. Nothing in his expression read restful either.

“How long has he been asleep?”

“A couple of hours now. He should wake up soon. He never makes it past three at a time.”

“Has he left the room at all? Even for food?”

Annie gave me a look that said, ‘Have you met Tucker?’ Then she sighed. “No. Chuck and Jenna have both tried to get him to come home, but he won’t leave. He knows Mom has pull here, even though it’s Houston. She has strings since her old boss works here now, and he’s been using the hell out of it. He’s driving her crazy.

“Sounds like Tucker.” I couldn’t help but grin.

Tucker stirred a little in his chair, moving his head to rest on one of his hands. We stopped our talking to watch whether he was waking up, but he didn’t move again.

Annie lowered her voice. “Unfortunately. I mean, I’m glad he’s here for Izzy, but I wish he’d take care of himself. That day in the gym did him no favors. He’s miserable, babe. In more ways than one, and he’s not going to get any better if he doesn’t get some decent food and sleep. He should be resting in an actual bed, not slumped over my sister’s.”

I shook my head. “He’ll take care of himself later, sweetheart. Right now, Izzy comes first. I’d be doing the same thing if it were you in that bed and I was hurt.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

“You don’t believe me?”

“No, I just find it annoying when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make me love even the things I find irritating about you.”

I smiled. “If it irritates you, I’ll have to do it more often. You look cute when you’re annoyed.”

“You’re both annoying right now,” Tucker grumbled into his hand.

Annie and I shared a look, feeling bad but trying not to laugh. “Sorry, man. We thought we were being quiet enough.”

Tucker lifted his head and rubbed his hands across his face. “What time is it?” he mumbled, almost incoherently.

“A little after six,” Annie replied.

“Already?” He blinked, still trying to wake up.

“Yeah. You know, you might get a little more sleep if you were in an actual bed, Tucker.”

“Don’t start, Annie.” He stood up slowly, raising his arms to stretch his stiff muscles, and winced as he straightened. “Anything happen while I was out?”

Annie rolled her eyes at me, making her point, and then supplied, “She’ll be waking up tonight.”

“What?” Tucker grimaced, his back contorting when he moved too fast. He sat back down, breathing slowly through the pain. Annie waited for him to settle.

“The doctor came in to check on her right after you fell asleep. She’s looking good, and they’re ready for her to wake up. It should probably happen sometime this evening.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” he demanded.

“Because you needed sleep, Tucker. You look awful.”

“Whatever, Annie.”

“She’s just concerned about you, man. We all are,” I said in her defense.

“I’m fine. It’s Izzy you should be worried about.” He shot us a look before glancing back down at his girl.

Annie and I sighed. “We are.”

“Why?” came the faint murmur from the pale lips up at the pillow.

Sounds were muffled at first. Even when I was able to distinguish my friends’ voices, their words blurred together in my ears.

I was able to make out a steady beeping noise from somewhere close by and wondered what it was. It didn’t sound like anything in my bedroom, and why would the guys be up in my room when I was sleeping, anyway?

I worked to concentrate on their conversation, trying to turn the muffled noises into words I could understand. Did Annie just say something about a doctor? Why would I need a doctor? Unless it had something to do with my throbbing head. And why did it hurt to breathe? My whole body seemed to ache now that I thought about it.

I focused on the conversation again, hoping they’d explain what was going on.

Tucker sounded annoyed, but I couldn’t make out why, and then I heard him say that they should be worried about me. That didn’t make sense. I was just sleeping, wasn’t I? Or maybe I wasn’t. Something felt off. Only feeling more confused, I decided to press for answers.

“Why?” Alarm struck me at how frail my voice sounded.

No one answered at first, and I was beginning to wonder if they’d even heard me when Tucker’s voice came from nearby.

“Izzy?” He sounded as if he wasn’t sure he had heard me, but I could detect relief in the question. It just made me more confused.

“Tucker?” My voice came out scratchy and cracked, and I grimaced.

“Here. Here’s some water.” I felt a spoon held up to my lips, and I opened, letting the drops of water trickle into my parched mouth. He helped me with a few more, and then I felt him take my hand, his touch so warm on my fingers. I was so cold. “I’m right here, princess.”

“Jet and I are here, too, sis,” Annie said from my other side. I felt my sister gently squeeze my leg.

“What’s going on? Why is everyone in our room, Annie? And what’s that beeping sound?”

“We’re not in our room, Izzy.”

“Not in our room?” What is she talking about? Where else would I sleep?

“No, you’re in the hospital,” Annie replied, sounding unsure, like she was afraid of how I would react.

I didn’t like it. Something felt off.

“The hospital?” As I said it, I recognized the feel of tubes across my face and the hand Tucker was holding. What’s going on? I was dialing panic back, the explanations more confusing than their muffled conversation. I tried to recall why I’d be in the hospital, but it was difficult to think with my head throbbing.

“Izzy?” Tucker said softly, gently squeezing my hand. I felt my heart flutter at the sound of his voice.

“Hmmm?”

“Can you open your eyes, princess?”

For him, I’d try, but it was like dragging them through mud for my lids to open. Taking a few seconds to adjust to the light, I looked around the room.

There was a small table with a lamp at my side, its soft illumination lighting up Annie’s face in the chair next to me. Jet was standing behind her with his hand on her shoulder. They were both smiling down at me, but their expressions seemed sad. My brow furrowed at the confliction, but I looked past them at the rest of the room.

There was a built-in seat in front of a window, the blinds closed as was the door that was slightly off-center from my bed. Every free surface on this side of the room held flowers, and to the other side behind Tucker more were placed around a sink, the colors vibrant as the fresh floral scents filled the room. I wondered for a moment where they were from, but another harsh beep sounded in my ears, and I winced as I looked up near my head, finding a machine lit up with various numbers and lines. So, that’s where it’s coming from.

My gaze shifted to Tucker’s, anxious to look into his eyes. I’d saved the best for last, or so I had thought. He smiled down at me, but it wasn’t a true smile. It didn’t reach my favorite whiskey eyes. All I saw there instead was pain and sadness.

My brow furrowed, and I lifted my hand from Tucker’s to place it against his cheek. The movement was harder than I’d expected it to be. I was so sore. But why?

“What’s the matter, whiskey?”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, ignoring my question.

I thought about the throbbing in my head and how it hurt to move. Hurt to breathe. “Like I’ve been hit by a truck,” I offered, not wanting to mention that something else felt very off. Partly because I wasn’t sure what it was, and partly because a piece of me told me I didn’t want to know.

I heard Jet’s soft laughter in the background, but Tucker just gave me a wry smile.

“Where’re Mom and Archer?” I asked, slowly turning my head towards Annie. It wasn’t like Mom not to be here if I was hurt enough to be in the hospital.

“Archer’s at the Thanos’, and Mom just ran down to the cafeteria for food. We didn’t think you’d be up just yet. Babe, why don’t you text her?”

Up just yet?Something in the words caught my attention. “How long have I been out?”

“Almost a week,” Jet answered, sending off the text.

“Almost a week!” Holy! “What day is it?”

“Thursday.”

My eyes widened as I stared at Jet. “Thursday?”

He nodded.

How could it be Thursday? The last thing I could remember was being at the championship game. The sharks had won after Jet’s amazing play…

“The doctors had to keep you sedated for a while, sis,” Annie explained. “You fractured the base of your skull. They had to watch your brain for swelling.”

“I hit my head?”

“Yeah.”

Well, that explains the major headache, but what about everything else?

“That’s not all I hurt, though. What’s wrong with my ribs?” I tried to reach for my ribcage with the hand Tucker wasn’t holding. “And my arm?” I added in alarm, realizing it was in a cast. What else is wrong with me?

“Calm down, Izzy. You’ll be okay,” Jet soothed. “Some of your ribs are bruised, but you broke your arm and your ankle.”

I stared in shock, trying to take it in before moving my hand to Tucker’s. He stroked my palm, avoiding the wires. “What happened to me?”

Jet and Annie looked at one another, not sure what to say.

“Tucker?”

“You don’t remember?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“No. The last thing I remember is the game.”

“Do you remember anything about after the game?” There was that hopeful tone again.

I shook my head, wincing as it sent the throbbing pounding harder against my skull. My brow pulled together in concentration, wanting to remember, not liking how Tucker was avoiding the question.

Slowly, things started to return. “I remember our parents talking about heading back to the hotel. But no. We were going to get some food first. With Mateo and Emma… Oh, and the coach coming up after the game. He wanted to offer Jet a scholarship.”

I looked over at him, and he gave me a proud smile and nod. I smiled, the sensation feeling strange. I picked my brain some more, searching for any memory of the accident. “I remember I left my pom poms in the stands…Zane was there.” My stomach swooped at the memory.

Tucker’s eyes dropped to the bed, making me frown but more determined to remember. “He blocked me so I couldn’t leave. He wanted to talk…I argued with him…”

I was almost there. I could feel it. “I got so mad at him, but he liked it. He kissed me.” My nose scrunched, surprised and disgusted at the memory.

It was flooding back now, and I barreled forward, needing to know, needing the answers.

“I remember hating that I couldn’t defend myself. I was about to give up, but then you came. You pushed him off me.”

Tucker met my eyes again, but I couldn’t understand the expression he held. “You hit him and pulled me behind you, but Zane got back up. He looked so angry…”

My body ached as I shuddered at the memory of Zane’s enraged eyes, the look that had frightened me so deeply. “I fell…down all those stairs…”

My voice trailed off, remembering the look on Tucker’s face when I fell. Even now, it chilled me to my core. I looked around, but everyone was looking down now. What was I missing?

“What aren’t y’all telling me?”

No one looked up.

“Tell me,” I demanded, tired of the evasion.

“You fell really far,” Tucker started, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, I know. I was at the top of the stands.”

“You were really hurt.”

Okay…

Why was he only stating the obvious? And then it hit me. The obvious. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before. I pulled my hand from Tucker’s and pressed it against my stomach. Where was the mound? Where was my baby?

I felt like I was going to be sick. My baby wasn’t there, wasn’t inside me anymore. I hadn’t felt her move at all since I’d woken up. How could I not have noticed? But I had. This was why I had felt so off.

I looked at Tucker, my eyes pleading and frantic, praying he’d say our little girl was fine. That she was off in the NICU where Mom had all the nurses watching her night and day. That I could see her as soon as she was better. Surely, she wasn’t too little to save. I’d just hit the week where they could. But one look into Tucker’s distraught eyes told me what I’d somehow already known.

She was gone. My baby was gone.

No. This couldn’t be right. I had to be wrong, mistaken. “No…” I said in a desperate panic, my eyes already spilling over with tears. “No. No, no, no, Tucker, no…”

The tears Tucker had been holding back came rushing in. “I’m sorry,” he said just loud enough for me to hear over my own screams, his voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry.”

And that was that. I felt my world come crashing down around me as Tucker’s grief confirmed our tragedy without a doubt. I screamed for my baby, thrashing myself on the bed as I fought the weight that threatened to squash my heart, my very soul, from my body.

My lungs screamed with pain with each jagged intake of breath I needed between shrieks. My head pounded to the point of pure agony, but I continued. If I stopped, the pressure and overwhelming ache of my loss would surely crush me.

I slapped my hands over my mouth, my heart shattering in my chest as Tucker fumbled over Izzy. She needed to be still. She was still fragile, her injuries nowhere near healed. She’d hurt herself if she didn’t stop.

Jet rushed from the room, and moments later, nurses bustled in, pushing Tucker out of the way as they surrounded the bed. Two held Izzy down, and a third rushed to the now frantically beeping machine to grab one of the tubes connected to my sister’s hand, pressing a syringe into it.

Jet’s arms wrapped around me as I watched it all unfold, and he pulled me back near the window out of the way, tears now streaking down my cheeks. I held onto him as we watched the nurses work, Izzy’s cries still hysterical, her heart breaking at what I knew I could never fix.

Tucker had dropped back into the chair that was cast aside in the commotion, his tears flowing freely as he clutched the chair’s arms for dear life.

Soon after the nurses emptied the syringe, Izzy’s started to settle, but her tears never stopped, and eventually, the nurses released her to step back out of the room.

Tucker went to her side and crawled into the bed next to her, wrapping an arm carefully around her as they cried, both of their hearts clearly broken. Shattered in a way that no one should ever have to feel. I watched as he whispered in her ear, and the crack in his last, “I’m sorry,” did me in.

I hurried from the room and all but ran down the hall to a deserted waiting area, pacing the small space back and forth only twice before Jet caught up to me. He pulled me into his arms, his embrace strong as I clutched to him for support, and I buried my face into his shoulder, my tears now full-powered sobs.

He held me there, letting me fall apart in his arms, my steady force in the storm. I knew we would have to go back eventually. Izzy would be out in no time, and Tucker would be in no shape to leave alone, but right now, we were all where we needed to be...Tucker comforting Izzy, her pain so fresh and new, and Jet and I comforting each other.

He tightened his embrace, his own tears now starting to flow. It was too much to take, breaking us all in a way I didn’t know how we’d ever recover.

I laid in Tucker’s arms, his tears flowing into my hair and down my cheek to mix with mine. They were still streaming but much less violent.

I had fought hard. My frenzied resistance was all I could do to keep the soul-crushing pressure at bay, but now, as the medicine worked its way further into my system and I slipped slowly back into unconsciousness, I felt my defeat. A piece of my heart was now lost…numb…dead.