Chapter 22

I watched the troubled expression on Izzy’s face as she laid tucked against my chest later that afternoon, my arm curled around her back. She was deep in thought, and I was doing my best not to disturb her, even though she hadn’t spoken a word to me since she walked into our last period class. It had been a long day for both of us, harder than we’d expected it to be.

We laid quietly on my bed for a good while, and I began to wonder if Izzy might fall asleep in my arms. She looked so exhausted. I brushed my fingers through the long tresses of her hair that flowed across my bed, trying to help her relax so she could sleep, but her forehead crumpled with the opposite effect.

“Am I bothering you? Do you want me to stop?” I paused.

“No.” She sighed and nestled further into my chest. “It feels really nice. It just got me thinking about something.”

“About what?”

She didn’t answer at first, but I waited, my fingers still running through her hair as her sweet, candy and honeysuckle scent drifted around me.

“Tucker,” she eventually started. “Do you think we should have reported Zane last summer when he hit me?”

My brow furrowed, surprised at the conversation. “Yeah, we probably should have, but I didn’t think about it at first. So much happened that night. That and you never wanted to report my cousins.”

She shuddered. “That’s different. They’re your family. And don’t argue.” She cut me off before I could.

I gave a little grunt. “Either way, why did my messing with your hair make you think of Zane?”

She hesitated for a second but answered, “Because of what happened today at school.”

I tensed. “What happened?”

“He stopped me in the hallway again. He was still trying to convince me to leave you for him. As if he even had a fighting chance.”

Oh, I’ll give him a fight.Not that I’d say it out loud. Izzy was stressed enough. “I’m still not seeing the connection, princess.”

She sighed, deep and slow. “I was just wondering if we should have reported it because, for a second, I thought he was going to hit me again. But he was just reaching for my hair.” She shuddered at the memory, and I tensed beside her again, my hand coming to an abrupt stop about halfway down her back, all the things I wanted to do to Zane for making her even think he might hit her again rushing through my head.

“Please don’t,” Izzy said softly into my chest. “I don’t want to have to worry about this, too. Look what happened to Jet the last time you went after him.”

But at the moment I was too mad to care, everything I was holding back thrumming through my muscles.

“Tucker,” she gently urged, running two of her fingers along my chest.

I did my best to unclench my jaw. It didn’t work. “You expect me to just let it go?”

“Please?”

“I can’t when you keep ignoring everything he does. He’s not safe. In a different way than my cousins. He’s calculated, messed up, and we should’ve done something about it a long time ago.”

“What am I supposed to do? It’s way too late to report what happened back in June, and even if I did, where’s the proof now? It’s he said she said between the three of us that night.”

“Maybe, but you can still tell someone about it. Annie and Jet filled me in on what Ms. Lane said today. So, if you don’t want me to get into it with him, then you have to tell her about what’s been going on. At least, that way, the school knows something’s up.” I raised an eyebrow when she didn’t respond. “If you don’t, Izzy, then I will. I got called in today, too.”

“I figured. Dinah and Casey said they saw you in the office at lunch. It just sucks. I love Ms. Lane. She was great to talk to when it was about Daddy, but I got this feeling today that Mom already had her on her side.”

I frowned, taking a minute to process before kissing her brow. “I know it sucks, but you’re getting off track, princess. We need to tell someone about Zane. I’ll do it if you won’t, but–”

“But I’m the one he won’t leave alone.” Izzy sighed. “Okay, I’ll talk to Ms. Lane.”

Relieved that she’d agreed, I relaxed again, my hand going back to its task with her hair. Izzy sighed, her body melting against mine with the caress as she settled back into her thoughts, and I pulled her into me, tucking her close with my nose in her hair. Time like this, with her, was perfect. I couldn’t believe how long I’d fought my feelings for her. Well, more like I’d been in denial, really. But that we were here now, like this…this girl was perfect. One hundred percent meant for me.

She shifted, laying one of her arms across her middle so her hand rested on her stomach, the gesture making me frown. “I wonder how everyone found out,” I mused aloud.

“Lisa.”

My head jerked up because I was not expecting that answer. If one at all. “How the hell was it Lisa?”

“She saw Jet and I talking in the parking lot before school this morning.”

“What did y’all say? We never talk about it in public.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Izzy popped up, desperation in her voice. “It just surprised me. When I felt her move, I was just so shocked. I couldn’t help it. I pressed my hand against my stomach, and I’m sure that’s how she saw. I must’ve scared poor Jet half to death. I’ve never seen him move so fast. He even offered to take me to the hospital. He thought I was in pain or something.”

She paused only to suck in a breath, her words rushing out. “Then, Annie and I overheard Lisa telling people about it in the hall, and she was just so smug and nasty about it. She had a whole crowd wrapped around her story. Except it was the truth.” Her voice fell at the end, and she laid back against my arm. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

I looked down at her, my thoughts too busy spiraling through the first part of what she said to process the next.

“Tucker?” She glanced up, meeting my gaze.

“You felt her move?” I finally whispered.

Her face lit up as she nodded. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. I was going to at lunch, but then you weren’t there, and then with all the drama today between the rumors and Lisa and Zane… Anyway, it was so amazing. I felt our baby move. Like little bubbles or popcorn tapping me from the inside.”

I watched her hand move lovingly to the slight swell at her middle, and a surge of anger and jealousy charged through my body. What was wrong with me? How was I so messed up that I couldn’t feel that? I felt nothing for the baby. I was a fucking fraud.

“Tucker? What’s the matter?”

I scrubbed a hand over my face, hating that I’d let my frustration show. Should I tell her? Hiding it had only made us fight when I’d first realized, and I’d chickened out telling her then. But how much longer could I hide this from her, anyway? She was so excited.

Except today was already shit. Do I want to drag her through this, too?

No, but the niggling in my conscience told me I had to.

“Izzy, I need to tell you something.”

Those emerald eyes studied me for a few moments, and she propped herself up on an elbow, smoothing out the creases of stress in my brow with her fingertips. “What is it?”

I closed my eyes for a second, cringing at the comfort, knowing I didn’t deserve it with what I was about to admit. I took her hand in mine and held it against my chest. “You’re going to want to hate me for this.”

“That ridiculous, whiskey.” She gave me a smile. “I could never hate you.”

“That’s why I said you were going to want to hate me for this.”

“Tucker, what is it?” she pressed, concern starting to coat her voice.

I swallowed and drew in a deep breath. “Izzy, I love you so much, but…” I paused, trying to brace myself.

“Just say it, Tucker,” Izzy’s voice cracked as she cut me off.

Fuck. “I don’t know how to love the baby like you. I don’t know if I can. I get so angry at myself. I should be able to feel something for my own child, but I don’t. Not like you. I just stared at that ultrasound while you were smiling, falling in love, and I felt nothing. That’s why I was pulling away that weekend. Not because I blame you. I’m sorry. Really sorry, but this just isn’t how I imagined things for us to be.”

Izzy’s eyes closed, her mouth pressing together to stave off tears. “I understand,” she choked out, pushing off my chest to move away.

I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back to me before she could get off the bed, and I rolled, tucking her into me so my head laid against hers. “I’m so sorry, princess. I never wanted to hurt you. I hate myself for this,” I whispered into her ear.

“You can’t help how you feel.” Her voice was tight as her tears started to fall. “I should’ve known…you’d never be happy this way.”

“Happy what way?”

“I never wanted you…to feel trapped,” she sobbed on the last word, her shoulders shaking as she broke down.

Trapped? What?“Izzy, I don’t feel trapped. Please. Calm down.” I wrapped my arm tighter around her, soothing. “I’m exactly where I want to be. Right here with you in my arms.” I pressed a kiss to her head.

She took a few staggered breaths, trying to regain control, and then tilted her head back just enough to peek up at me. My heart staggered at the raw pain in those mossy emerald depths. At the hope that was afraid to come through. “Do you really mean it?” she whispered.

“With everything.” I repeated the words I’d used when I’d told her I loved her. Because she was exactly that. Everything.

Her eyes searched mine, reading for the truth, and then she asked, “But you don’t want the baby, do you?”

“I never said that.” My brow raised as I stressed. “I look at it this way. How could I not want her? She’s a part of us, something we created, together. We’re meant to be together.”

She looked away.

“What?”

“I want to believe that you really feel that way, Tucker. I really do. But I just don’t know.”

“What don’t you know? Because I fucking do. You and me? We’re it. We’re everything. If that means there’s a baby, too, then so be it.”

“See? That right there.” She shifted, rolling slightly to her back so her fingers could play with the ends of her hair. “You’re in it for me. Like you’re being forced to stick around for her. How do I not know you’re really just sticking in this relationship because it’s now your responsibility to be here for the baby and me? You just said this isn’t how you imagined things for us to be…”

I held back a sigh, frustrated. It felt like we were having two different conversations. “I meant that I never imagined for us to have a baby this young. I saw a different future for us. That’s all. But you were always going to be in it. Can’t you say the same thing?”

“Well, yeah, but what about the other stuff?”

“Where is all this coming from?” I pressed, rubbing at my brow with my thumb and index finger.

Izzy gently popped a shoulder. “Things I overheard at school. It just made me think, and my mind ran away with me, I guess. Or maybe not. You haven’t exactly denied everything.”

I sighed. This girl. She could drive me crazy even as she kept stealing my heart. “Look at me, please.” I waited for her to look up, meeting those sad depths that held so much doubt now. “Yes, it’s my responsibility to be here for you and the baby, but I still meant what I said. I’m not running. And not just because you’re my responsibility. Because you’re exactly where I want to be. Forever, right?” I held up my wrist with the bracelet, and her lips twitched with a smile that didn’t stay.

Rolling her to her back, I crawled over her and cupped my hands over her head, locking my fingers in her hair. My thumbs stroked her cheeks, swiping away her leftover tears. My gaze held hers, something inside me aching to see her looking so sad. Like her spirit was broken. I had to make her believe me.

“Isabel Faye Donovan, you are my world. You mean everything to me. My life would be nothing without you. You and our baby are my future. Nothing will ever change that.”

Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes, and I gently swiped them away.

“You really mean it, don’t you?”

“With everything.”

She smiled wide and reached up to brush her fingers through the locks of my hair that fell across my brow. “I love you Tucker Ryan Pierce. My heart will always be yours.”

I leaned in, kissing her softly, but the depth of everything I was feeling was strong, and I let it seep in, soothing any fears that may have lingered. When we finally broke away, both of our breaths were labored, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I pressed my forehead to hers, reveling in the rush, when Izzy wrapped an arm around my neck, sweeping my lips up with hers in another kiss. Everything in it saying this wasn’t enough. She needed more. And fuck if I’d turn her down.

I slowly pulled off her clothes, relishing and caressing each inch of skin that was bared as I went. The curve of her hips, her breasts, the dip in the hollow of her throat, tracing along her collarbone to her shoulders and down her arms.

I pulled her hands up one at a time, kissing the tips of her fingers, her palms, her nose, trailing my lips along the line of her jaw as I left wet kisses along the delicate curve of her neck.

When I pulled her jeans from her hips, I sat back, lifting one of her legs so that I could press a gentle kiss to her foot, alternating trailing up her legs to her very inner thighs. Her core tightened when I grew close, and I sensed her hesitation, passing over to the slight swell of her stomach instead. My nose brushed along her middle, wondering what it must have felt like for her to feel our baby move today. If I’d ever feel any different when I could feel it, too.

Her hands cupped my cheeks, pulling me back up, and she pressed her lips to mine, her urgency more forceful as she began to tug at my clothes. We quickly tossed them away, my fingers finally finding her slick folds. I slipped two fingers inside, and she gasped, her hips jerking up, and I groaned, she was so wet. I didn’t even have to touch her. As if sensing my thoughts, she pulled my hand away and tugged me over her, her heels wrapping around the backs of my thighs.

“Now. Please,” she demanded, and with one quick thrust, I buried myself inside.

I stilled, just relishing in the sensation of her heat, of our connection, and when Izzy thrusted her own hips in frustration, I smirked. She didn’t do it all the time, but I could feel it in the way she moved, the way she guided me with her hips and her hands and her touches. She liked to take control. To dominate. When I wasn’t doing enough, she steered me back on course, directing how things would go. And I was so here for it.

Knowing how quickly it did it for her, I dragged her hips into my lap, and she mewled, her hands going to cover her face.

“Oh, God, yes. This. Faster.”

I was quick to comply, her sounds growing louder the faster I moved. I reached between us, rubbing her clit, and after only a minute, she shattered, her whole body spasming under mine, my favorite position for making her come. Before she could recover, I pulled out and flipped her, dragging her ass up and sliding back inside.

She moaned deep into the blanket, and I grabbed her ass, squeezing it as I thrust into her from behind, her expression contorting into sheer pleasure as she gripped the sheets by my pillow. “Oh, God, Tucker. Yes, just like that.”

I’d meant to take this one slow and delicate, but the longer we went, the more frenzied it got, our bodies slapping together as we chased our orgasms. It was intense, and I pushed the urge for mine back, determined to fuck her so senseless that she never doubted how I cared or wanted her again.

She cried out after several more minutes, but I was still going strong, pumping into her over and over until she finally finished again. She fell apart so hard that time that I had to stop as she writhed under me, her orgasm so strong.

Rolling her over, those emerald eyes gazed up at me, full of desire. She grabbed my neck and pulled me down, her leg hooking around mine to roll me onto my back as she crawled over me. Her hands guided my cock back to her wet heat, and she moaned in relief as she slid back down.

Fuck yes.

Resting her hands on my chest, she went slow at first, finding her own pace until she was eventually just as frenzied as before. One of my hands gripped her hip, guiding her movements as my other reached up to wrap around her neck. The intensity like fire between us. “This is my favorite way to have you,” I told her, “Writhing on my cock above me and in control. Taking exactly what you want from me. I’m yours, princess. Use me how you need.”

I flicked my thumb over her clit again, and she gasped, her body convulsing over mine in one long orgasm before she fell, utterly sated, to my chest.

I sat in the middle of Tucker’s bed, the covers pulled up over my bare chest as I watched his perfect, god like form. Drunk on everything he’d just made me feel as he moved around his room to get ready for tonight’s game. It was in a little over an hour, and normally, I’d be rushing to get ready, too, but it was officially my first one I’d have to watch from the sidelines. My black and red patterned practice top, leggings, and pom poms were all I’d get to wear this time. I should’ve cared, but right now, I was just appreciating the view.

He pulled his basketball jersey over his head, shaking his hair back from his brow, and an itch hit my thoughts. One that I’d been trying to ignore until now. One I think we both had.

I bit my lip, debating. Should I try?

“What’s that cute head of yours thinking?” Tucker sent me a cheeky smirk as he sat down on one of his bean bags to pull on his sneakers.

I couldn’t help but smile. “You might not like it.”

His head tilted to the side, his expression asking anyway before glancing back down to his laces.

Here goes. “Have you thought at all about what’s going to happen when the baby gets here?”

He froze and then looked up. “Izzy…”

“I know. I know. It’s awful timing.” I tucked my head to my knees, scrunching my eyes closed before looking back up. Because I knew I was right. “We need to start talking about this, Tucker. With scholarships and things around the corner? April will be here before we know it.”

He groaned, collapsing back against the massive bean bag, and dragged his hands down his face before dropping them at his sides. “Don’t remind me. My parents are still talking about adoption, but I do think my mom’s starting to come around.”

“Yeah?” I perked up. “That’s good.”

“Can we talk about this later? I really don’t want my head twisted up before the game.”

I shook mine. “No, because of exactly that. I’m sitting here watching you get ready for a basketball game. I have an audition in just a couple of weeks, and we don’t even know what schools we’re going to yet or if we’ll even still get to go.”

“Well, damn, just lay it all out there.” He sighed and then glanced under his lashes at me. “I’ve thought about it a little. You?”

“Some…long and hard lately, actually. And I don’t want you to give up basketball. No matter what happens. That’s been your life dream.”

“And dance is yours.”

I lifted a single shoulder in a shrug. “Leo’s convinced me to keep my audition. If I wear the right outfit… But that’s as far as I’m willing to dream about it so far. Even if I get in, what will we do with a baby in college?”

“There are daycares.”

“There are. But with what money, Tucker? Scholarships pay for school, not for babies.”

“Izzy. My family is loaded. I don’t think we need to worry that much.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to just take from your family.”

“But it’s not. I talked to my grandparents over Thanksgiving.”

“Your mom’s parents?”

“No, my dad’s. You know they’re even more loaded than my parents are. Anyways, there’s a trust fund I’m supposed to get when I start college. So, we’ll have money. I’m not worried. Not about finances, at least.”

A knot that had been tightly wound in my stomach for weeks unraveled some with that news, and my shoulders visibly eased.

“Okay, so there’s one problem solved.”

“Most of them,” Tucker argued. “Because while you don’t want me to give up basketball, I would in a heartbeat for you if I had to. But I don’t. Not with that money. And you don’t have to give up dancing, either. You. Me? We’ve got this.” He motioned between us. “A house or apartment. Daycare. Food. All the diapers coming our way? I’ll spend every cent of that money if it means we still get to have our dreams.”

I shook my head, overwhelmed. Trying to process. Because this couldn’t be happening. Could it? “That money’s for you. Not me.”

“It’s for however I need to use it,” Tucker argued. “Taking care of my woman and my child seem like a pretty good reason, and I’ve got another trust fund coming when I hit twenty-five. We’re set.”

I blinked, and Tucker stood up, coming over to kiss the top of my head. “Stop worrying princess. We’ve got this.”

I grabbed his hand. If we were talking now, I was getting it all out there. “One more thing. You said earlier that you want the baby, but how can you when you also said you don’t feel anything for her, either? I know you’re talking about taking care of us and everything, but it just doesn’t make sense.”

Tucker didn’t pull from my hold but ran a hand back through his hair. “Talk about hard to explain. You couldn’t just give me the hero moment?” He grinned, and I matched him with a small smirk.

“Try, please.”

He sighed. “I don’t know, Izzy. It’s like…I want the baby because it’s ours, but I just don’t feel that attachment to it that you seem to.”

My lips pursed in concentration as I tried to hide my frustration. “So, why did you agree to keep the baby if you didn’t feel the same way?”

I felt his hesitation before he answered. “Because I could see how much you wanted it.”

“Are you serious? We could’ve at least talked about it, Tucker. You shouldn’t have agreed just because it’s what I wanted. How can you be a good father to our child when the only reason you agreed to keep her was to make me happy?”

His eyes darkened, his gaze growing intense. “Because I will always choose to make you happy. And considering you were talking about leaving me if I didn’t agree, I didn’t feel like I had a lot of choice. Talking wouldn’t have changed how I felt. Not that it matters now, because I’ve told you before. I’m in. If this is the only decision you can live with, if having this baby in your future is what you need and makes you happy, then the baby’s a part of mine, too. End of story.”

“But–”

“Izzy.” His tone cut me off even as his gaze softened. “Stop finding reasons to stress. I’ll say it again. We’ve got this.” I nodded, biting my lip. He gave me a flirty look, so many dirty promises in his eyes, and my core clenched. “Now, go put on your dirtiest lace so I can picture you wearing it during the game tonight.”

Yes, sir.