Chapter 5

Chapter Five

brISTOL

W hiskey. Jim Beam, double shot, on the rocks. That's what Joey ordered and handed to me. I'd never tasted whiskey before, so I thought, why the hell not? as I tossed back a swig. It smelled so divine and had a hearty oak flavor as it slid down my throat. Well, this is why the hell not. I've never been drunk before, but I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing that right now. Sebastian is standing next to me, in all his six-foot glory, looking at me with those deep green eyes. I've never felt this kind of desire for someone, not a real someone anyway. Only for the make-believe men in my fantasies that would make me orgasm in captivity. But I want this man.

My eyelids are heavy, trying to close as I sway to the music playing. I don't have a very broad range of music that I've heard in my lifetime, at least not over the last six years. It's been hell. I'm not even sure that all of this isn't some dream that I've been sucked into after one of Patrick's not-so-gentle beatings. If it's a dream, though, I don't ever want to wake up. Now that I've gotten a small taste of what it's like to be free, I don't think I could ever go back.

"You mind?" Sebastian asks, sliding my glass in front of him.

I shake my head no and he doesn't hesitate. He shoots the rest of the amber liquid left in the glass and orders a glass of water. I glance at his side profile, watching the way his eyes dance as they watch the man behind the bar set a glass of water down in front of me. In front of me?

"Here, drink some of this." Sebastian sticks a straw in the glass and hands it over to me. I obey his command and drink the entire glass. I didn't know I was so thirsty. It's so loud in here and with all these people around, it's starting to make me a little uneasy. Trying to get out of my head, I turn to Sebastian.

"What time are we leaving?" I ask, my words slurring slightly. I try not to let the urgency of how badly I want to get out of here come out, but I don't know if I do a good job at masking my discomfort, especially when he looks at me with concern in his eyes.

"We can leave whenever you're ready," he says, his green irises searching mine.

"I'm ready."

Sebastian takes a step back, allowing me to slide out of my barstool. My legs wiggle beneath me and I flail like a cat falling into water, grabbing Sebastian's arm. His hand instantly grabs my side, stabilizing me. A chuckle from behind me makes me feel two feet tall. I'm being laughed at. I want out of here more than ever, now. Joey got me drunk on purpose and now I look like a fucking idiot. Tears sting the back of my eyes and I fight them off. I've already cried in front of these assholes too much; I refuse to give him the fucking satisfaction .

Rage burns deep within my soul. Why did they welcome me here if only for me to be the laughingstock of their night? Sebastian's face is hard, cold even. He glares at Joey and his laughter subsides. He didn't find Joey's laughter as amusing as I'd expected.

"Mo, where's that helmet?" Sebastian asks as we walk away from the bar and get closer to the table of men playing cards.

"It's on the kitchen counter. The black and purple one."

Sebastian answers with a nod and never stops, walking side by side with me and making sure I don't lose my balance. He's got one arm around my waist and the other holding my arm between us. We walk past a few of the women in the kitchen and they all seem kind, unlike the bitch that I met yesterday. I wonder if this is normal. Is it normal for my brain to be doing this weird thinking thing nonstop while my body moves all strangely? I have control of myself. Kind of. It's like a delayed reaction. It's like I'm telling someone to move my arm and then they move it, but it doesn't quite move the way I intended. It's the damnedest thing.

Sebastian leads me to his bike and stops when we're standing next to it. He puts the black and purple helmet on my head and fastens the strap beneath my chin. It's tight, but it isn't unbearable. It's better than any restraints I've ever been in thus far, so there's that. He turns around to crank his bike and put his own helmet on.

"I'm gonna get on, then I want you to climb on. Step here," he points to a footrest, "then throw this leg over," he taps my right leg.

"Okay. Got it," I say, forcing a half-smile. I'm a little scared of riding a motorcycle, but it's got to be better than being comedy central inside for everyone to see. At least if I do this wrong and fall off while we're going down the street, then I'll likely die and be put out of my misery. Now, I'm not suicidal, but I've learned there are worse things than death. I will welcome it when my time comes. It can't be half as bad as half the shit I've been through.

Sebastian gets on the bike and turns halfway to watch me. I do exactly as he said. I put a hand on his shoulder for balance, step up on the footrest with my left leg and throw my right leg over. I'm wedged between him and the backrest and my stomach tightens. I don't know what to do with my hands. I've never ridden a motorcycle before, and I don't want to be overly touchy. Sebastian is my only out, my only anything really. Him and Mo are basically the only two people that I know.

"Hold on," Sebastian says loudly. I barely hear him over the roar of the engine. I put my hands idly on his sides but when the bike lunges forward, I wrap my arms tightly around his waist. I feel his stomach move with a chuckle and I feel even more ridiculed. I take a deep breath in as we hit the highway. I don't know where I am, really. I don't know anything about this town, about this world if I'm being honest.

I remember going to the beach and how much I loved it, but I haven't been in so long that it's a foreign concept to me. Vacations used to be my favorite part of the year. We'd go on two family vacations, one in February and one in June. February, we'd spend a week in Salt Lake City, Utah. My dad loved to snow ski and passed that love on to my brother and me. Mom watched from the sidelines after she tore her ACL and ended up on crutches the first time she attempted snow skiing.

The memory of my family tugs at my heart and tears spill down my cheeks. I feel like I've just been taken from them all over again. I'm all over the place and I'm positive that the whiskey isn't helping my mental state. I feel everything so very deeply I'm afraid I may just tear apart from the inside out.

The wind in my face blows the tears dry as we weave through traffic in the busy streets. This place is so aromatic. It's a sweet and salty blend of the ocean and my pain, entangled together. The sun has all but set and the lights of the casinos shine brilliantly against the darkened sky.

These views make me feel as if I've stepped outside of my shitty caged life and inside the adventurous life of someone new. It's freeing. It's so fucking freeing. I toss my head back and stretch out my arms, feeling the wind rush all around me. It's such an adrenaline rush, I can't help but smile where I was just crying a few seconds ago. I'm giving myself whiplash with the way my emotions are changing so rapidly.

The alcohol's effects are still humming through my veins and I still don't have any idea where we are going. I know Maurice said something about bike night tonight but after what happened at the club house, I don't think that's the plan anymore. But I could be wrong. Maybe that's where he's taking me.

The truth is, I don't care where he takes me so long as it isn't another cage. But hell, being locked in a cage with him may be something I could be okay with. We pull up to a set of gated apartments. Sebastian slows to a stop at a keypad just outside the gate and leans over to punch in a few numbers before we zoom through the parking lot. He stops in front of one of the complexes and taps my leg .

"Hop down," he says.

I grab his shoulders the same way I did before and try to do the steps I did to get on in reverse. I lift my leg and try to step over but my foot catches on the seat and I lose my balance, falling flat on my ass on the hard concrete.

"Shit." Sebastian is picking me up in seconds, looking me over.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say quietly. I'm so embarrassed. This day keeps getting worse and I keep making an ass out of myself. I fight back tears for the umpteenth time today and swallow back the lump in my throat. This is stupid. Why do I keep making myself look so fucking dumb? It's bad enough I'm the outcast girl from captivity, I don't need any help making myself the center of everyone's accusing stares, yet here I am.

Sebastian takes my helmet off for me then removes his and hangs them both on the mirrors of his bike. I don't know why we're here, or what the plan is, but I think I'm okay with that. As long as I'm no longer the clown of the circus, I don't care.

"Come on, let's go inside. I've got a recipe for a crawfish omelet that will blow your mind," Sebastian grins. I think my heart may explode. He's going to cook for me?

"I can't wait," I beam.

The interior of what I assume is Sebastian's apartment is shockingly gorgeous. The walls are a nude beige, his living room is decorated with a tan sectional that has two recliners in it, a marbled coffee table, and a large sixty-five-inch tv hangs in the center of the living room. The windows have black-out blinds in them, and dark black curtains cover them, I guess in case the black-out blinds let a shred of light in. Maybe he just likes it extremely dark when he's watching tv .

"Wow," I whisper, looking around.

There are beautiful paintings dotting the walls of the living room. Paintings of intricate landscapes that look like they could be of somewhere exotic, somewhere amazing. Like Italy or France. Places I've only ever heard of and maybe seen a picture or two of. Sebastian stands in the kitchen and I feel his eyes on me. I chance a peek in his direction, and he averts his gaze quickly to whatever he has in his hands on the counter. Probably these crawfish he speaks of.

"What are crawfish? Are they the same thing as crayfish? The fishing baits?" I ask, concerned now that I've made a connection. I am not eating crayfish.

Sebastian chuckles. "Yes, but they're not what you think. I promise."

I scrunch my nose up in disgust. I am not eating those bottom feeders. Nope. Nuh-uh . No fuckin' way.

"Tell you what, if you hate it, I'll cook you whatever your heart desires, but you at least have to take one bite. Just one," he propositions.

I sigh. One bite won't kill me. I put my hands up. "Okay, okay. One bite."

He smiles a victorious smile, like he's just won the fair maiden's heart by winning a jousting match. Suddenly I've forgotten all about food. That desire I felt earlier is rearing its head, begging me to let it take over. To touch him. To take him. To finally have someone because I want them, not because I'm forced to.

Somewhere in my fucked-up mind, the lingering alcohol presses its way through to the forefront and all but hurls me forward. I don't know where this is coming from but I'm walking across his apartment, around the bar that separates the kitchen from the living room. Sebastian eyes me curiously and he only has a second for the realization of what I'm doing to hit him before my lips are on his.

His hand tangles in my hair, drawing an audible moan from my throat. He tilts my head back by pulling my hair, just a bit. I've never wanted someone with this urgency before. Sebastian runs his hands down my back until he's cupping my ass. In one swift move, he lifts me up and my legs wrap around his waist. His hard length meets my aching pussy there and the excitement that courses through me is almost too much to bear. I want to know what it feels like to fuck someone that I want . Sebastian carries me across the apartment until he's setting me down gently on a soft surface. I open my eyes as he hovers over me and see his bedroom. Much like all the other rooms, completely blacked out.

His eyes are wild with desire, searching mine for a beat before his lips crash into mine. His hands roam my body, the feel of his fingers the most heavenly sensation I've endured in all my life. He grips at the hem of my shirt and I sit up so that he can take it off. I tug at his the same. Once I get his shirt off, my hands roam over the tattoos that cover his chest. The intricate designs of black ink that interconnect from his breastbone, over his shoulders, and down both of his arms. My hands trace the lines, mesmerized by the beauty of the man hovering over me.

He places his hand on my face, looking directly into my soul.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asks.

I nod, letting my eyes flutter closed beneath his touch. I want this so fucking much. Sebastian lowers me to my feet, undoing my boots and taking them off gently before removing my blue jeans. I'm left in only my bra and underwear. I lean up and undo the strap of my bra, baring my chest to him. He gazes at my large breasts. His eyes linger on them for a few seconds then slowly climbs up my body until his nose is on my abdomen, his mouth just above my navel. He runs his tongue in a circular motion around my navel then down toward the top of my brand new silky black thong.

I whimper at the feel of his mouth hot on my skin. He hooks his thumbs in the band of my underwear and pulls them down, exposing me to him. I shiver in anticipation of what's to come. This is the one thing I've wanted for so long. Sebastian runs a finger down over my clit to my sleek entrance.

"Oh fuck, Bristol," he groans, putting his glazed digit into his mouth. I watch with half-horror and half-excitement. He hums his approval before his tongue grazes my entrance, flicking slowly up to my clit. He sucks it gently into his mouth, running his tongue over it simultaneously. I arch my back at the heavenly sensation. Oh my God, I didn't know anything could feel this damn good.

He continues his sweet torture on my clit until I'm unraveling beneath him, coming at the will of his skilled tongue. My orgasm rocks through me, my hands fisting in his hair. When my body has stopped shaking, Sebastian begins peppering kisses up my stomach until his lips find my nipple, pert and begging to be touched. My hands are still in his hair as he sucks my nipple into his mouth. My eyes roll to the back of my head while he plays with my breasts. Finally, his lips are back on mine. I can taste myself on his and that makes me even hotter for him.

Too soon, he leans back and pulls a condom from the nightstand beside the bed. He rolls it on and lines himself up with my aching core. He's going to stretch me, he's significantly larger than… what I've had before. Sebastian pushes gently inside me, slowly. He winces just as I do at th e pressure. My God this is fucking delectable, but he's going too slow. I need more.

"Fuck me, Sebastian," I cry. He looks at me skeptically at first, then obeys and fills me entirely. He presses into me one time before he picks up his pace, fucking me exactly the way I want, hard. He pounds into me, fucking me until everything ceases. The pain, the loneliness, the worthlessness, it all fades. Replaced with ecstasy. Pleasure. Euphoria. It's not enough. I need something more as the pain begins to resurface.

Almost as if he could tell something was off, Sebastian slows down and pulls out.

"Flip over. Put that ass in the air for me," he growls.

I do as he says, although I hope he isn't going to take my ass. Relief floods me when he doesn't, filling my pussy instead. He finds a rhythm, a rough hard rhythm. His hands roam my derriere, squeezing each cheek as he has his way with me.

"Spank me," I beg, situating myself on my elbows.

The first blow to my right side is exhilarating. The second in the same spot is breathtaking. The third sends me over the edge.

"Yes!" I cry. "Yes!"

Sebastian slaps my other cheek, rocking his hips faster. I'm coming around his long, thick cock when he fists a hand in my hair, jerking my head back toward him. Holy fuck. I'm coming again.

"You like it rough, baby?" he pants, his lips inches away from my ear.

"Yes," I cry, urging him on. He pulls my hair again, extending my orgasm.

"Just like that, Bristol. Don't move, I'm coming," he grunts, his thrusts slow, and he moans as he releases inside me .

After a few seconds, he releases my hair. He presses a kiss on my shoulder and slowly eases out of me. I relax fully, lying flat on the bed trying to catch my breath. Sebastian gets up and walks to the bathroom. The light illuminates the bedroom, a hue of yellow shining lightly across the walls. I watch Sebastian in all his naked glory. I take in all his features. Slim, yet muscular, dark black hair, lucid green eyes, and covered in an armor of tattoos from his shoulders, down his back, both arms and trickling down onto his hands. The dark black ink so fitting, I can't picture him without it.

I watch quietly as he moves in and out of my line of vision before he emerges from the bathroom and approaches the bed. He's silhouetted against the light behind him, like a dark angel sent here just to save me. He sits down on the bed next to me and traces his fingertips lightly over my bare back. The alcohol has mostly worn off and now I'm just pleasured, and tired.

I can't fight the happy endorphins dancing around my brain from the way his fingers soothe me. I want to speak. Tell him thank you. Tell him how amazing he made me feel. How he took away some of the underlying pain that's a part of me. But instead, my eyes flutter closed and I'm unable to hold onto consciousness any longer. I sleep soundly curled up in Sebastian's bed. At some point during the night, he got me underneath the dark grey comforter and in his arms. I know that because when I wake up, that's exactly where I am. I have no concept of what time it is thanks to his blackout blinds and curtains and the lack of clocks in this room. At least, ones that are digital and seen in the darkness.

I inch over slowly, lifting his arm from around my waist. My bladder is going to burst if I don't get up and get into the bathroom. I stand up and the room twirls, sending a pounding to my head. So this is what a hangover must feel like. I blindly feel my way through the room and into the bathroom, closing the door before I flip the light on so as not to wake the beautiful specimen of a man sleeping on the other side of the door. I almost feel guilty for falling asleep so quickly last night, but I was spent. Satiated, but spent. If that's how good sex can be, then I want it all the damn time. I want more than what I got last night though; I want rougher. God, it was so sexy the way he put his hands on me.

I relieve myself and crawl back in bed. Sebastian hardly stirs when I curl up next to him and let myself drift back off to sleep. I don't know how long I sleep for, but the feel of Sebastian sliding inside me has me fluttering awake, groggy and unsure of where I am at first. He pushes into me, filling me completely and my eyes bolt open. I hold my breath as my brain tries to figure out where I am when Sebastian grabs my chin. "It's me, baby," he whispers, sending chills down my spine.

This is fucking delightful.

I arch my back and roll my hips, grinding on him. He thrusts hard and as if he learned something last night, his hand finds my hair and pulls it. I moan in excitement at what he's doing to me. I grip the edge of the mattress when he picks up the pace, fucking me senseless. This is what I want. Fuck yes. I want to take control, though. It's my turn. I reach back and press on his thigh. He slows down and stops but doesn't say a word. I roll over and straddle him, sinking onto his hard cock. I adjust for a second before the need to fuck him urges me forward. I press my hands onto his chest and gyrate my hips on him. A stuttered groan rumbles through his chest and sends chills down my spine.

He places both hands on either of my hips and rocks me forward then backward. I repeat the motion and am rewarded with a firm smack on my ass cheek.

"Yes, baby," I whisper, chills rushing down my arms.

Sebastian delivers another smack. Then another. And another before I feel myself building, ready to come all around him. I reach for his hand and place it on my throat. When his fingers tighten, I explode, gushing around his cock. His grip on my neck is firm as he drives into me, extending my orgasm until he abruptly lifts me off him to pull out and fist his cock until hot come spills out. My mouth waters. I want to know what he tastes like. His come and mine, swirled together. I can't help myself; I lower my mouth and take him to the back of my throat. The salty and sweet blend of our orgasms has me putting my dick sucking skills to use. Sebastian moans when I suck lightly on his head, getting every last drop.

I swirl my tongue around one more time as he begins to go soft. The vibrating of a cell phone cuts through our moment like a knife. It's coming from the nightstand and is lighting up the entire room like a Christmas tree. The name flashing on the screen is Lilah and a pang of jealousy resonates in my chest. Oh my God. He's probably got a fucking girlfriend and here I am, the other woman. Fucking him and letting him do whatever he wants to me. I'm a fucking idiot.

Sebastian must see the look on my face because he bolts upright and turns the bedside lamp on.

"No, no, no. She's not my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. I see that look on your face and it's killing me."

"You sure you don't have a girlfriend?" I ask, not convinced.

"I swear, Bristol. She's just a girl that lets me get my dick wet when it's been too long. I've got needs but I'm not lying to you. "

He doesn't have a reason to lie to me. Hell, he doesn't even know if I'll be here next week because I don't even know if I will. After contemplating for a few seconds what he's said, I decide he's telling the truth.

"Okay," I sigh, falling onto the pillow next to him.

He's propped up on his elbow, head resting in his hand and looking down at me. I've been bared like this before, but this time its welcoming . I want to be gazed at. I want to be eye-fucked. I want him to take in my body. Maybe even touch me.

"My God, you're stunning," he says, his voice hardly above a whisper.

A blush stains my cheeks, warmth rushing over me at his compliment. "Thank you."

My stomach betrays me, grumbling so loud that Sebastian gives me a curious side-eyed stare.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, rhetorically.

I nod enthusiastically, the action making my head throb even more than it did earlier. I wince and my hand instinctively goes to my temple, massaging it.

"I've got some Tylenol for that ache in your head, some pickle juice to give you a little rehydration, and a bottle of water to really hydrate you."

Sebastian rolls out of bed and flicks on the light to a closet next to the bathroom. He pulls on a pair of grey sweatpants. He looks so comfortable, yet so fucking sexy. He disappears down the hall and returns a few minutes later with a glass of ice water, a cup of pickle juice, and two Tylenol extra strength tablets. He's my hero. I down the pickle juice first. It makes my jaw pucker, but I feel a little better almost instantly. Next, I toss back the Tylenol then I down the glass of ice water in three seconds flat.

I take a deep breath and hand him the empty glasses. I need to get dressed, don't want to be walking around naked in his apartment all day. He could have guests coming over or… anything really. Maybe I'm intruding. My brain goes through a hundred different scenarios and reasons that I could be inconveniencing him.

"So, since you've been… hidden away from the world for the last few years, I take it you aren't caught up on any tv shows?" he asks, plopping down on the bed next to me.

I smile shyly. "Not at all. The last tv show I got sucked into was Once Upon a Time when it had first started. I didn't exactly have a tv where I was at."

A dark stare crosses his face so quickly I'm not sure it was even there at all.

"Okay, well, we're going to get you reacquainted with the world of television. There are so many good movies and tv shows you need in your life."

"Sign me up," I smile. This is different. Almost strange, but it's welcoming. It makes me feel normal, and God knows I need to fucking feel some sense of normalcy in my life.

Sebastian opens HBO and decides on Game of Thrones. I'm completely captivated ten minutes in, but I guess it doesn't take much to get the attention of a girl who wasn't sure she'd ever get this kind of thing in her life again. Sebastian pulls me between his legs, his arms around my chest while my head rests on his shoulder. This feels right. This is what I've been missing for so long. Tears well in my eyes at the realization that I'm finally free and I can finally make decisions for myself. I'm in charge of choosing who I want in my life and what I want out of my life. Just as soon as I can figure out what I'm going to do since I'm still considered missing.

I push the thought from my mind and lose myself in the land of Winterfell. Their problems seem to make mine appear not so pressing as I watch all the fuckery going on. We spend the better half of the day in Sebastian's bed, laughing and watching tv and having food delivered so we didn't have to get out. I devoured the greasy cheeseburger he ordered for me and by the end of the day, I could hardly tell that I woke up with a hangover.

Sebastian's phone has dinged on and off all day with text messages, some from the girl Lilah, some from the club. A message from Joey comes through just as one of our episodes is going off. Sebastian leans up and sighs.

"Joey needs me at the clubhouse. Got some information for me. I need to go over there for a bit, but I need to talk to you first," he says, studying me closely as he lets his words simmer in the air between us.

"Okay. Shoot."

"You've got a couple options as to how you want to proceed forward in your life. Option A, you can return home as Bristol Tullier, tell your story and whatever else and face the people of your community. Option B, you can start all over as whoever you want, wherever you want, doing whatever you want. The choice is completely yours."

I let his words register. Start over? Be someone else? Any one else?

"You don't have to make a decision right now. I just wanted to let you know that you have options. Do you wanna ride with me to the clubhouse?"

I shake my head no. "No. Can I just stay here a little while longer? Locked away inside this fairytale place where the world can't see me, can't judge me, and the most beautiful man can fuck me into an oblivion every night until I absolutely have to make a decision?"

A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. He lowers them to mine, kissing me breathless.

"I would like that very, very much. I'll be back as soon as I can. "

A quick kiss on my lips again and he's out the door. I listen for his motorcycle to crank then I listen as the rumble grows quieter until I can't hear it anymore. With the quiet comes loneliness. I miss him already. What am I getting myself into?