Tazhr

TAZHR

She should know better than to be late. Does she not know what this does to me?

Does she not understand the fear that rushes through me when I think something happened to her?

"What's eating you, Taz?' Makar asked with a sigh.

I turned around, lifting my elbow off the counter of his cupcake display to face him. "She was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago."

He shrugged. "Maybe she's just on her way."

"Yeah," Sophia chimed while wiping where my elbow was. "She might have just gotten lost. Has she been here before?"

I shook my head and exhaled. "No, but it's not like her to be late. If anything, she would be early."

"You're overthinking it, Taz," Makar announced, shutting the display case and turning out the main overhead lights.

"Why are you turning those off?" I asked in a panic, whirling around to face him.

Makar threw his hands up in surrender and smirked. "Easy. I'm just acting like we're closing early, so we have a little more privacy."

I sighed and put my hand on my chest. "Don't scare me like that."

Makar only laughed, annoying me more.

"What's so funny?"

"Taz, you're a psychotic killer, and you're scared because your informant is running late? What is going on with you?"

I glared at him, and slowly his eyes widened.

Sophia caught on just as fast. "No!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth. "Not you, too!"

"Oh, this is perfect," Makar teased, spinning up the rag used for cleaning and flinging it at me. "He's one of the club now!"

"Shut up," I snapped. "I'm not. I just can't risk Conii getting her hands on anyone on my watch." I cleared my throat and turned away from them, hoping they wouldn't notice the lie on my breath. "It's not about her. Alkard would kill me if anything happened to the plan."

"All right," Makar replied with a grin before walking towards the back with Sophia. "Whatever you need to believe."

I heard them whispering in the kitchen but tried to pay it no mind. I couldn't focus on it even if I wanted to.

I was too angry with Emma for being late.

At least, that's what I told myself.

In truth, I wasn't even angry with her. The anger was just a coverup for the fear that sent shivers through my body. My gut twinged as I tried to lean back onto the counter. My eyes darted to the clock every thirty seconds, thinking another half an hour passed. I had to stop my leg from constantly bouncing up and down on the floor. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like that.

Granted, patience wasn't exactly a virtue I had, but it wasn't something that made me that uncomfortable, either. The fact that it was Emma that was involved had me jumpy and irritable.

I saw a silhouette cross by the opening of the shop, and my heart leaped. The figure continued walking quickly past, and I leaned back on the counter, rubbing my face over my hands.

Should I go to Conii's quarters? I can't just stand here. I have to find her. Something's not right.

I lifted myself off the counter and walked briskly to the front of the store. I was about to open the front door when the figure appeared again and opened it in front of me. Emma walked in and closed it behind her before spinning around and looking at me.

"What is wrong with you?" I snapped. "Do you have any idea how long it's been? I thought you were taking this seriously!"

Then I noticed the look in her eyes. Something had gone wrong. Almost immediately after I finished my sentence, she collapsed into my chest and began crying, sinking to the floor, and I went with her until we were both kneeling on the tile.

I just held her. I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to know what happened, but I knew whoever hurt her was going to die because of their actions.

I wasn't sure if I had room in my schedule for another killing that week. Of course, for her, I would always make an exception.

"Hey," I whispered before pulling back from our embrace. I kept my hands on her arms lightly while she dried her tears. "Breathe." She tried to take deep breaths, but they were choppy and filled with sharp inhales. I tipped her chin up to meet my gaze and breathed slowly in front of her. "With me. Focus on me."

She tried, and after a few more choppy inhales, we got there together. The tears slowed, but her muscles were still incredibly tense. I looked at her and pressed my forehead to hers. "What happened?"

"I-I was getting the files." She sniffled. "I was in her office, and it was huge, it was, there were bookshelves and?—"

"And what?" I asked gently, moving my hands downward, motioning for her to slow down. "What happened?"

She exhaled and shook her head, looking down at the floor. After a moment of silence, she looked at the ceiling and blinked a tear away before locking eyes with me again. "When I came out of the shaft into the pantry," she sighed. "The chef found me. He pinned me to the wall, and I didn't know what to do." She hyperventilated again, and I forced her to look at me.

"Emma, whatever you did, was what you had to do."

"No!" she screamed, pushing me away. "It wasn't! He didn't have to die!"

Die. She killed him. How did she… The thought struck me hard. The blaster.

I didn't give a shit about the chef being dead. If she hadn't killed him herself, I would have purely because he put his hands on her.

He deserved it, I was sure. What bothered me had nothing to do with him. It was the crisis she was in that made me insane.

And I did that to her.

"He was going to hurt you," I replied, cupping her face with my hands. "Emma, you did the right thing."

"No!" she cried. "They're going to find him. The body is just there in the pantry. Conii's guards, they're…"

"They're not going to find shit," I cut her off firmly before looking over my shoulder. "Makar!" I yelled toward the back. He came running out and looked at us on the floor, astonished. "We need to clean up Conii's personal quarters."

"Her personal quarters?"

"You're a chef, aren't you?" I barked.

"Well, I…"

Dammit. He's a Vinduthi. The cameras will catch him sneaking in. "Sophia!"

She came running out promptly and stood beside Makar. "Sophia, you go to Conii's quarters. It'll take some makeup but use it to cover your sigils. Find a way to get him in." I looked at Makar sharply. "Then you clean up the body in the pantry. If anyone else saw it, kill them on the spot."

Makar nodded and looked at Sophia, and with that, they were off. Before they closed the door behind them, I whistled, and Makar turned around to look at me.

"Do you have a computer here?"

"Yeah." He pointed to the kitchen door. "In the back."

"How safe is this place?"

"Safehouse proofed."

I nodded. "Good. Go."

He ran out the door with Sophia, and I glanced back at Emma, stroking her hair gently. "You're okay. Nothing is going to happen to you."

"I murdered someone…" Her voice trailed off as she looked at the ground.

The pain in her eyes reminded me of the shock I felt when I saw a dead body by my own hand for the first time. I had to tap into that feeling. She needed me to tap into that feeling.

I sighed and looked into her eyes. "I felt the same way."

She scoffed. "You kill for a living," she chuckled, wiping a tear from her cheek.

I shook my head. "Everyone has a first."

"Not everyone," she sighed. "I was never supposed to have a first."

"Hey." I tipped her chin up. "He was going to hurt you. You killed him out of defense. Okay?" She nodded but still looked unsure. "Hey," I repeated. She looked at me. "Say it. Say it was defense."

She exhaled slowly and nodded. "It was defense."

"He was going to hurt you."

She nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, it's true. He was going to hurt me."

"You did the right thing."

"I did the right thing."

She exhaled and stared at the floor for a moment. I wasn't sure where she went mentally, but when her gaze snapped back to reality, she dried her tears and fished around in her pocket. Once I saw her break from the emotion, I knew exactly what happened. She shoved it down, just like I did after my first time.

She'd be okay. I'd make sure she was.

And she'd never be alone.

If she wanted to focus on the job, that was what we would do. When she handed me the percomm from her pocket, I knew we had to take care of the files first.

"Good." I leaned in and kissed her forehead. My hands shook while I did it.

I didn't know the last time I showed physical intimacy without it leading to sex, but if anyone needed it at that moment, it was Emma. "Come on."

I led her back into the kitchen and found Makar's computer. All systems in the Vinduthi family were strictly coded and protected, thanks to a software Havek designed years ago. No one understood technology like him.

"Come on, load," I whispered as I synced the percomm into the loading computer.

Maybe when he gets back, he can make these damn things faster.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Emma standing behind me. I smiled, and she grinned back, but I knew both expressions were fake. I would keep up my act, if for no other reason than to make her feel like everything was as normal as it could be.

"Is it working?"

I shook my head and was about to reply ‘no,' when the file popped up on the computer. "Got it," I declared before sitting down at the desk.

"What are those?" she asked, leaning down to look at the files.

"Did you select one file in particular?"

"I thought I did."

I shook my head. "You downloaded every file on the computer."

"Shit," she whispered before running her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry."

"Hey." I spun around in the chair and took her hands in mine. "It's better that you did. Okay? You did nothing wrong today."

She nodded, and I went back to examining the files. Conii was highly protective of her information, even her personal files. Everything had code names, and some even had password protection, especially the file called ‘Deathgate.'

Emma informed me of the general password to her computer, which made me chuckle. What a crazy bitch Conii had to be to have Alkard's name as her password.

Unfortunately, the password didn't work on the folders that required a password, and I wasn't going to waste time trying to guess every single one. I made my way to her ledger. The general password worked for that one.

"Come on," I whispered, my eyes scanning every column. "There has to be something."

"Taz…" Emma murmured from behind me.

"Yes?" I spun around in the chair and looked at her.

She shook her head, leaning against the kitchen island. "You know I can't go back there, right? What good am I to the mission now?"

"Emma," I responded as I stood from the chair and walked over to her. "Everything will be taken care of. Makar is amazing at what he does. The whole family is. Anyone that saw anything will be disposed of. We'll have a cover story ready to go by tomorrow. You just have to go along with it. You won't be faulted for anything ."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I brushed her hair behind her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Do you want to go back? You don't have to."

"If everything is taken care of. We don't know what else we'll need from Conii." She raised her chin. "I'm absolutely going back."