Tazhr

TAZHR

I was sitting on twenty with the dealer showing eighteen when I felt a tap on my back. My shoulders tensed. Luck was against me that whole night, and the last thing I needed was to get called away just when the cards were being good to me. The Black Star Casino was supposed to be a place where I came to unwind.

"Yeah, what is it?" I snapped. It better be important.

"I'm so sorry, sir," the waiter behind me said nervously. "When you're available Alkard wants to talk to you."

I nodded to the dealer. "Hit me. I've got this one."

The dealer passed me a card. A three. My lucky streak finally started. "Um." The waiter coughed. He was a human and, like most humans, looked fragile enough to blow over if you breathed on him too hard. "Actually, Alkard was very specific that if you were gambling, I was to keep bothering you until you came with me."

I turned around and straightened, letting him take stock of my complete Vinduthi bulk. "And you feel like it's a good idea to follow that order? To bother me, the operation's enforcer, while I'm trying to have a night off and enjoy some cards?"

The waiter trembled. "Well… it is what Alkard said…"

I laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "Well, good on you. You've got spirit. Give me just a second."

I turned around and flipped over my cards. I raked in the chips I just won, then handed one of the blue ones to the waiter.

"All right. Take me to him."

The waiter quickly stashed the chip away and then walked me to the private section of the Black Star.

Alkard took over Draven's office, looking just as comfortable there as he did on his own.

It made sense.

The Black Star, as well as Draven and his men, were all part of Alkard's syndicate.

Alkard, as usual, had his feet up at the desk and was listening to some weird, modern music I didn't understand. He paused it when I entered.

"Tazhr!" he greeted me, smiling. "I didn't expect to see you so soon!"

"You nearly didn't," I said, sitting down on the chair opposite him. "But the waiter you sent insisted. I felt good about the next few hands, so whatever job this is, I hope it's at least that important."

"Oh, it's very important." He swept his feet to the floor and leaned in closer to me. "It's about Havek getting framed."

I cracked a smile. "Probably one of those mercenary companies. With all the prisoners using them to buy assassins to take out Havek, they'll double their business in a week."

Alkard scowled. Apparently, he wasn't in the mood for humor. "Tazhr, do you ever take things seriously?"

"Not really," I answered. "Everyone goes out the same whether they take things seriously or not. So I figure I might as well have a good time while I'm stuck here."

"You don't really think that," he said. A statement, not a question.

I gave another shrug. "I don't know what I think. All I know is I've seen a lot of beings get killed. I've done a few myself, as you know, and I haven't yet seen anyone who seemed like they were happy to go."

I didn't mention the war, but I didn't have to. Alkard knew that's what I was talking about. Did it screw me up? Maybe. But when you work as muscle for a gang, there are worse things to be than a little screwed up.

Alkard shook his head. "I don't know if you mean it, but if you do, that makes me sad."

"I mean less of it than I say, more of it than I think. That's usually how it works."

Again, not even a smile. "You're a good Vinduthi and you're loyal. But I also worry about you. I worry that you're just drifting. That you haven't found anything you care about or anyone."

"I care about doing a good job," I said. "I care about being loyal."

"I know you are," said Alkard. "You've been invaluable in the past and you're part of the family. But you're a little too quick to temper and you fly off the handle. You need to learn to get stable."

I didn't know what to say about that. It was a question I thought about once or twice, in different words. But if there was one thing the war taught me, it was that no one knows exactly what they're gonna do when the shit really hits the fan. Or at least, none of the young ones who ended up going off to war did.

"I won't let you down," I promised, but I wasn't sure if he believed me.

"Everything we've heard tells us it was Conii who framed Havek." He took a deep breath before continuing. "But it's no good unless we can prove it. That's your job. Prove that Havek's innocent, and if you can, prove Conii was the one who set him up."

Alkard wasn't wrong. I knew I wasn't the first person you'd pick for a mission like this. I was the muscle of the gang, not the brains. I wasn't ashamed of that. It was just a fact. That, however, was definitely a brain's mission, and I couldn't help but feel nervous about it.

"I can do it, boss," I said. "I'm not going to let one of our brothers go down."

Finally, Alkard smiled. "Remember what I said. Find something you care about. Or someone. You do that and you'll make it through anything."

"I'll do it," I answered. "I'll even make sure it's something other than breaking stuff and hurting people."

He laughed. "Get out of here."

On the one hand, that wasn't my kind of job at all. I cracked legs, not cases. On the other hand, Alkard was right.

I knew for years now. There was something missing in me. Other than my brothers, I couldn't take anything seriously. I just didn't care.

But maybe it was time to change that.