Payton

PAYTON

His gray physique reminded me of mother-of-pearl, rippling before me. Even knowing rationally that the bite from him would intensify all sensations, it was hard to imagine anything ever feeling better than that.

Black eyes like the fabric of the universe caught me, burning with the remnants of creation. All the questions and all the answers came together in the dark pools staring directly into me.

I should have said I loved him, but the words tangled in my throat, trapped by fear and insecurity.

I saw the hesitation in his eyes, an emotion that wasn't quite fear but close enough. Fear for me and worry over whether I would be afraid. It felt strange that I should be the one reassuring him.

"I'm ready, Havek. I want my fate to be bound to yours," I said.

He inhaled a rush of whatever air was left in the cabin as if he wasn't expecting me to say those words. I didn't expect them either, but once they left my lips, they felt right.

"You're sure?" he asked, probing. I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement.

"Yes. I'm sure."

I pulled him to me, my hands around his head, and brought his mouth to my lips as his tongue descended into mine, thick and soft, with a character both curious and knowing, like his inventive, endlessly imaginative mind.

I caressed his horns softly with my fingers, and he let out a sweet sigh. I loved exploring his body, discovering all the ways it was different from mine, bringing him pleasure.

And through it all, he continually drove into me, the flanges down his cock sending sparks through my core, building a fire that threatened to burn out of control over and over again.

Still, his hands were gentle on my skin, almost soothing. Even the raw, brute desire that poured out of him had the mediation of his intellect and thoughtfulness.

Where most beings have to channel their strength to make use of their powers, Havek seemed to require more energy to restrain it, like a dancer holding a static position. From the moment a Vinduthi was born, every aspect of Vinduthi culture prepared them for a life as warriors.

Havek was different because he fought a battle on two fronts. The first, the same as his brethren, waged with swords and fists. On the second battlefield, which required weapons of strategy and inventiveness, Havek had no peer.

Havek's mind and body were perfectly calibrated to each other, and together they were perfectly calibrated to me. Even before he claimed me, our union with each other transcended the physical in a way I never knew.

I couldn't lie to him.

Not with my body.

Not with my words.

"Havek," I cried. "I love you! Please don't leave me. I couldn't stand it."

He clutched my hair and clawed my back, and I wrapped my legs around him tightly. As he kissed me more passionately, our bodies clashed against each other with more fury, colliding in communion.

"I'll never leave your side," he grunted. "I never could. Would never want to."

I felt his erection growing even harder, larger inside me. Lifting up my legs, folding them practically into myself, he shoved himself fully inside again in one savage thrust.

"Ahh!" I shouted, shaking from the delightful shock of pain, turning into cascades of pleasure with his wet friction inside me.

His low voice resonated through my body, the tones so low that it felt like it bypassed my ear. I mainlined him through every sense.

"This…is preparation for what comes next, my love," he said as he pumped inside me harder than before, reaching further into me than I ever thought possible. "The pain mixed with pleasure, the violence mixed with healing, the hard and soft, the defilement and creation?—"

He kissed me furiously, biting my lip, first softly, then with more pressure in his jaws, and then he licked it. His fangs grew so long, down below his lower teeth. He had the insatiable look of a hungry predator in his eyes, and he looked at me like the most delicious, delectable, sensual prey.

The catch of a lifetime.

He grazed his fangs on my neck, biting down harder. He licked and sucked my shoulder, all the while slamming into me with the force of a freight train, only picking up velocity.

And then, the pain, the high-pitched punctures, rushed into my body like a light as it fled into a black hole. A feeling of invincibility circulated through me, every sensation magnified, every store of energy intensified, every pleasure receptor exponentially larger.

The tingling from the bite reverberated in the rest of my body. The word "orgasm" felt like a meaningless description in comparison to just the beginnings of what I experienced at that moment. What I called my body before that instant seemed like an inanimate container.

When I felt the bite that claimed me, the bite that made me his forever, I awoke from a state of anesthesia. Before that moment, I was only half myself. After the bite was complete, so was I.

He suckled from my neck on a plane of ecstasy. I felt the fire of his body in bloom, the roar of absorbing the life force of being his perfect, fated mate.

Our bodies coalesced in the act of lovemaking, opening ourselves to each other like a lock and key. Our very existence merged together as my blood became part of his being, and his salivary elixir changed my very makeup as a human.

At that moment, he came inside me with a ferocious bellow, and in my newly heightened sensation and heightened physical bond, in a visceral sense, I came harder than I ever did.

Entire body spasming, I barely heard his words as I drifted into the dark.

"My mate. I will wait for you."

Slowly, I surfaced from a deep dream, something wonderful, magical, just out of reach.

"Payton," Havek's whisper twined around me, a beacon. "Wake up, my love. We need to go."

What? Why?

But he called to me, and I couldn't help but answer.

Opening my eyes, I found myself curled up against his chest, his strong arms wrapped around me. Strain and worry lined his face as he peered at me.

"You need more sleep, I know. But we're running out of time."

Time.

Snuggling into him, I breathed deeply of his scent. Havek was here, with me.

That was all I needed.

But there was something else in the air.

Something stale…

"The pod!" I blurted out, scrambling to my hands and knees. "What's happening?"

Havek pulled me back to him. "Nothing has changed, but soon, even we will have trouble surviving on the air that is left."

His gaze searched my face, one hand tracing a pattern on my cheek.

Oh. Right.

I looked down at my arm, at the black sigils that dimly glowed under the surface.

It worked.

And now we needed to get out of here.

Pulling on my clothing, my body felt strangely light, my movements clumsy.

"Here," Havek buttoned my shirt for me. "From what I've seen after my brothers' mates claimings, they took hours to finish changing." Warm hands slid around the back of my neck, lifting the tangle of my hair from where it got trapped in my collar.

"We don't have time for that," I muttered, resting my head on his chest. "We've done everything we can, and now we have to take our chances."

Leaning over, he brushed his lips over mine.

"Remember what you promised me. You have to live."

I swallowed hard.

We had one shot—one chance to make it together, and we didn't know exactly what fraction of Havek's healing ability would have manifested itself in me.

Would the changes that took place in my body get me to the surface once we got in the water?

No way of knowing until we tried.

No do-overs. No room for error.

"Are you ready?" Havek asked as I fastened my shoes with a length of torn cable to my waist. He could not have chosen worse words. I was not ready to risk my life the way a Vinduthi did. They always seemed prepared, even excited, to approach death's door.

I bit back a laugh. "Ready as I'll ever be." Because apparently, I was Vinduthi now, too.

Havek pressed his lips together and nodded. "Okay. On the count of three, I'm going to pull on the door and release the seal. The force of the water as it comes in is gonna be pretty harsh. It'll knock you back a ways, so brace yourself, but don't fight it. The pressure will equalize eventually, and…"

Unable to focus on his words, my surroundings became a blur. "Payton?" I closed my eyes to steady myself. He shook my shoulder. I opened my eyes again. "You okay?" I nodded, fighting rising nausea. "What did you hear last?"

I exhaled, realizing I was already holding my breath. Not a good sign. "Umm, something about getting knocked back?"

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "Okay. Too much information, I get it. Look, if you remember nothing else, remember this: no matter how intense it gets, don't try to move until the pod fills up with water. Then climb out, kick off as hard as you can, and swim like mad."

He stroked my face and I nestled into him, greedy for just one more moment of his touch. "Let's just get this over with."

"Stand back and take a deep breath!" He turned the lever on the pressurized door and pulled with all his might. Fountains of strangely colored water gushed out of the cavity he created and roared to fill the cabin.

When the wall of water hit me, I didn't have time to think. It picked me up and threw me against the opposite wall.

It was all I could do to resist the urge to gasp. I stood on my tiptoes, sucking what little air I could out of the remaining bubble at the top of the pod, and waited. Within the span of a few seconds, the roaring in my ears stopped and everything went still.

Sitting in the cold and dark, holding my breath, it was difficult to remember what it was I was supposed to do. Havek could have been a million lightyears away for all I knew. I was in outer space, alone with my fears.

The prospect of dying in that crushing blackness brought me back to myself. I kicked upward and felt the enormous drag on my clothing. I wondered how long it would be before I breathed again.

I felt my lungs burn. Was that supposed to happen? I thought they would explode. I breathed out just a little bit, releasing some pressure. Much better.

Coming to rest on the outside of the pod, I pressed my thoughts away from every inkling of what might be lurking in the water just beyond my fingertips. I crouched on the rounded, metal surface, gathered my wits, kicked off as hard as I could, and swam like mad.

Minutes passed, minutes that could have been hours. Remembering to release the pressure from my lungs every few strokes, I wondered if I would ever be able to make it to the surface. The darkness still seemed much too deep for me to be near any kind of light source.

I wondered if Havek was already up there looking for me, realizing I hadn't made it yet. I knew I couldn't give up, if only so he wouldn't have to bear the burden of reaching the surface alone.

Reaching my absolute limit, my strength began to fail. If I breathed in even a little, I would drown and die, but my oxygen-starved lungs were in so much pain that I couldn't make it any further.

Suddenly, I remembered what I promised Havek. The one condition that would make him bite me.

"You have to live. No matter what."

I kept going. If I was going to die, I was going to die swimming. Within a few strokes, I burst out of the water and onto the surface. Dragging sweet, sweet air into my lungs, I coughed and choked and sputtered and whooped and thanked the Goddess.

I was alive! I never felt more alive!

"Havek!" I screamed. "Havek! Where are you?" Something roared in my ears and the world tilted at impossible angles forward and backward, rolling me around so that I couldn't get my bearings.

"Havek!" What is that deafening sound? " Havek! "

" Paayyyytooonnn! " I heard him, but he was so far away. Why couldn't I see him?

" Paaaayyyyytoooooonnnn! " I barely heard him over the waves.

I held my hands above the water as high as I could, palms up, out of the spray, cold droplets pelting them in a steady rhythm.

It was raining. It was night, and it was raining.

We were alive! I swam as hard as I could toward the source of my name while keeping my head above water. My body rolled with the motion of the waves. It had to. If I resisted and drank too much water, the victory would have been for nothing.

"Havek!" I screamed after every few strokes. I thought I heard him, then lost his sound, then thought I heard him again, then sure I hadn't. It would have been a miracle to find him in that mess.

"Payton!" I heard, finally, very close by. It was a miracle! I flailed about, hoping to brush his arm or his leg, hoping beyond hope for just one touch.

"Havek! Where are you?"

"Over here! You okay?"

"Fine, you?"

"A little seasick, maybe." He chuckled and caught my hand while we rode in the waves. "Are you feeling dizzy?"

"Yes, but I…" My voice trailed off as I saw him in front of me and caught his hand in the water. My vision stabilized, and I was able to fully take in my surroundings. I noticed the outline of his beautiful face in the starlight. Starlight! Oh, the stars were gorgeous!

They glimmered between gaps in the angry storm clouds overhead. Whatever rain that hit us had finally passed. I thought I would never see those stars again. I laughed and whooped.

He held me against him, shivering and laughing, but then his laughter died, and he held me at arm's length. "We have to swim again! The shore is much further than I thought!"

"Where is it?" I shouted to be heard over the storm.

"There!" He pointed to a glowing strip that would come into view and then drop behind the waves. It was the thinnest line of dimly glowing reddish-brown light on the horizon.

"How can you tell?" I wondered aloud.

"The ice is catching the ambient light!" he yelled. "We have to swim now! Keep your bearings and swim like your life depends on it!"

"Doesn't it?"

"You're really getting the hang of this!" He took off toward the illuminated strip.

I followed suit and quickly realized that the tide and wind were against us. For every stroke, the tide washed me back three.

"Keep going!" I heard from somewhere ahead of me. "You're doing great!" I doubted that very much, but I decided to stop focusing on where I was going and how far away it was. Instead, I put my head down and swam with all my might.

The sky took on the gray hue of dawn when my feet finally touched sand beneath me. My knees were so shaky that the tide sucked my legs out from under me. I rolled for a minute, swam forward some more, and tried again.

My feet gained traction in the muck, and I shoved forward against the streaming water. As soon as I could, I scrambled forward on my knees and then my hands. Gaining the rocky shore, slicing my hands and feet on the sharp stones, and not caring, I kissed the ground and rolled onto my back.

"We survived! We're gonna live! Havek, we made it! Havek?" I pushed myself up to scan the coastline for his tall form and came up empty. My heart plunged when I saw a black lump getting tossed back and forth in the swirling gray of the morning tide.

"No!" I screamed, forgetting the pain in my lungs and the weakness in my legs. I ran back to where he collapsed, tearing his clothes and struggling against his weight. I pulled, pushed, and rolled him up onto the shore, checking for a pulse and wondering briefly how I would know if his heart burst.

How could I have doubted his love for me?

There he lay, having secured my survival while sacrificing his own. How could I have looked into his eyes and thought he would lie to me?

I threw myself across his chest, exhausted and bereft. As the dawn grew and the sun rose on that cold, godforsaken beach, I was truly, utterly, alone.