Chapter 51

T he sound of a fist pounding on the door jerked me out of the happy stupor I was in, snuggled between Buu and Gopher as they swapped stories about their big family groupings and Rek heckled Odix about the way he was putting a huge pot of stew on the fire.

Dace had taken my suggestion of making use of the bathroom, get her soak on. The woman needed more zen in her life and less squeak-panicking.

Jeh-kal couldn't even so much as look her way and she was scrambling to hide behind something with a garbled mishmash of jibberish leaving her.

Speaking of, Big Business sat at the kitchen table with Monster Bait, sharpening and cleaning all of their sharp, pointy things, idly chattering in their native tongue over said sharp and pointy things and killing shit or whatever they were yammering on about, like two besties in the making.

Considering they both were known to keep strictly to themselves for so long in crazy stretches, I thought it was kinda fucking awesome they'd found each other. Two peas in a sharp-pointy-things-wielding pod.

Tired of listening to Rek harangue Odix, while my big, bootylicious mate just ignored him and did as he may, Celuk reached over, snagged Rek's shoulder by his fur, and just dragged him over. "Sit," Celuk barked.

Rek immediately did, then sat there with a sharp blink, like he was surprised he'd done just as he'd demanded.

Holding out a rather deadly looking blade, he waited for Rek to take it, then handed him a small bottle, rag, and sharpening stone.

Jeh-kal glanced up briefly and his lips twitched up into a brief smile.

Rek glanced from the weapon to Celuk as Celuk spoke in their native tongue, rumbling instructions at him.

When Celuk had finished, Rek nodded and got to work cleaning and sharpening the blade.

Odix looked over his shoulder, spied Celuk making sure Rek was following his instructions properly, and cocked his head.

Feeling eyes on him, Celuk glanced up and tossed Odix a very practiced wink that had Odix smirking and happily getting back to his current task at hand.

A grin stole over my face, to note this.

Celuk glanced up sharply, our eyes met, and his lips slowly tipped up into a sweet, sexy smile that had my insides going all gooey-melty.

Buu's happy click-purr rumbled to life. He didn't pause as he spoke to Gopher over my head, but I knew he'd picked up on my happy feels.

Reaching over, I took one of his hands in mine, then one of Gopher's, content to sit sandwiched between them and just sit and breathe and do nothing for a moment.

This was all rather nice, homey.

The stupid fist hammering the door barged in on our blissful domesticity.

Fucking asshole, whoever they were.

"EY! HEY! EY!

"Eh, it's just Pepé," I muttered. Making to stand, I reluctantly let Buu and Gopher's hands go.

"I get," Celuk rumbled out, motioning for me to let him grab the door.

With a shrug and a nod, I looked to Buu. I knew what this was about. Celuk had filled me in on all the deets. "Maybe tell Dace to hang back?" I whispered to Buu softly. "Just until Pepé leaves?"

Buu nodded and hopped up. He was down the hall before Celuk had made it to the door.

Walking over to the entrance to the hallway, I stood sentry. You shall not pass. No Pepés allowed. He could try and charge down the hall to get at Dace, but he'd have to get through me and all my mates first.

She'd saved my life. Yeah, she was an odd one, who the fuck isn't, but she'd saved my life and she was part of Buu's clan, meaning she was now part of my clan. Nothing was going to happen to her while she's under this roof.

Gopher joined me. Wrapping his arms around me, he curled me into him, my back to his front, and reached around me to rub his hands over my belly. His little rumble of ownership slipping past his happy purr was everything.

"Where?!" Berkr stormed in, all shouts and demands.

Rek stood, the knife he was working on still in his hand. Baring his teeth at Berkr, he growled, "No come in, shouts, angry, yells, tell us what do. You not boss!"

When Berkr would have turned his ire towards Rek, Jeh-kal stood, the huge axe he was retying a strip of hide around in his large hands, a warning rumble in his throat, and Celuk, looking equally as rumbling and ready to tussle if need be, snapped something at Berkr that had him taking a healthy step back.

"Female no stay! She bad! Not Bad Jo bad, she bad-bad," he clarified. Motioning to the scar Celuk had explained was a bullet wound from Mina's crazy ex-boyfriend who'd talked a delusional Dace into helping him, Berkr snarled as he tapped the spot. "Help bad male! Candy-ass no goot!"

Alright—I'm fired. I couldn't help it. Candy-ass? My spluttering laugh was ill-timed but oh my fucking god. Candy-ass. I died with laughter at that one, mostly on the inside because this wasn't the time or place.

Berkr looked ready to snarl at me and bare fang my way but must have thought better of it considering his reception doing just that to Rek, our clan pain in the ass.

A startled noise sounded off from behind me.

Gopher and I both turned as Buu let out a garbled noise and came charging down the hall.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Slipping out of Gopher's arms, I hurried over to Buu as he began jerking doors open to pop his head inside them.

"No find Dace," he announced softly.

"What do you mean, you can't find her?" I sputtered. "Short of climbing out a window, where the heck could she go?!"

We were in the middle of a rather ugly hiccup of snow—short bursts of the white stuff at random that could quickly grow neck tall if it kept up for long enough. More than a few have had to be unburied throughout the years when the snow hiccups hit, or so my mates have warned me. It's fuck around and find out weather. Was she nuts?!!

"Gopher help look," Gopher offered, taking off with Buu to open doors along the left as Buu worked on the right.

"Where the hell can she go?" I muttered as I glanced around frantically.

"Candy-ass gone?" Berkr grumbled, sounding much more subdued than moments ago.

"No," I replied firmly. "She's, uh, she's just, erm… temporarily misplaced."

Berkr snorted at that. "Bad Jo mean. Candy-ass runs away."

"If she ran from anything into the snow hiccup, Pepé, it's because of you," I shot back snottily.

"Candy-ass bad. Jo no ‘stand." Berkr folded his massive arms over his chest and glowered down at me.

Didn't faze me one fucking bit. "Look, I'm not going to ever say what she did wasn't fucked up, okay? She was wrong. It was totally wrong. She should never have agreed to help that guy, she should never have fucked around with a guy who was taken, and fuck that guy for being such a waste of fucking space, but this isn't about any of that right now! Okay? She's missing and that shit is getting bad! She could die out there!"

Pepé was unmoved.

"She saved my life. She coulda stood back and hid behind something and cowered and cried, but she didn't. That Krampus was going to kill me, Pepé." My hand jerked towards the mangled side of my face. "That pipsqueak of a human grew the biggest set and took that asshole out, by herself. For me. I fucking owe her. I don't expect you to understand it. Just… Just help us fucking find her. Not because she's a good or bad person, but because YOU are a good fucking guy."

With that, I turned to start searching with the guys.

"EH! EY! My Joalee!" Buu called out. "I fiii-"

Soft, squeaking pleas followed.

"What did you find? Is it Dace?" I shouted back as I scrambled down the hall.

"No run!" Celuk shouted after me.

"Yes, Daddy!" I sassed.

Celuk snorted and grumbled something under his breath, to take off after me.

Berkr's gurgled choking sounds were quite the thing. For once, the beast was utterly speechless.

???

"T his is kind of an odd turn of events," I mumbled as I stared at the little flat butt sticking out at me.

"What mean?" Buu asked, eyeballing the small window frame in the storage room Dace had thought to try and climb out of.

"Why this window?" I had to ask. It was the only teeny tiny one in the house.

I had to tap Dace's hip to get her to answer. Her squealing squeak had me struggling not to laugh despite how fucked her sitch was.

"Why this window, Dace?" I called out louder.

"I panicked when the big scary guy came to the door," she mumblingly told me. "This was the first room I ducked into."

"The bathroom has a bigger window," I pointed out.

There was a long pause before she finally squeaked out, "It has a window?"

Right, well, that answers that, then.

"I say we grease her up and wiggle her back inside," I suggested.

"Grease with what?" Gopher asked.

"Fat," Jeh-kal suggested as we all crowded around her stuck backside.

The storage room was quite large so we all easily fit.

"Did you- Did you just call me fat?!" Dace's indignant squeak was followed by a bevy of alternative curse words and squeal-squeaks fit for public television.

"I'd point out how charming that all is to listen to if I wasn't more distracted by her ass in our faces," I muttered as I scrubbed at my forehead.

"No fart!" Rek called out. "No want farts in face," he muttered quietly. "Stink up whole room."

"Don't do what now?" Dace cried out. "Why would I- EEEEEEE!!!!"

Dace

Reminding myself that this is on the low end of the ditziest things I've ever done, regrettably, I tried to stay calm.

Buu's mate was kind of… a lot, but she was letting me stay here, and promised to help keep me safe.

That is, until the big mean one showed up.

I knew who he was, I'm ashamed to say. Doubly ashamed for the part I'd played in what had happened to Willy.

I wasn't the nicest person when I was on my own planet. I knew what I was doing even as I did the things I did. I made those choices.

Trash. That's what Gram-gram's would've said, were she here to give me an earful, if she knew my shame. Sinful. Awful, ugly trash.

Gramps wouldn't have said anything but his eyes would've told a different story. Disappointment.

They'd taught me better than that. I knew that. I'd done what I'd done, all the same.

Mama was a different story. She'd insisted snagging a man with money, someone to take care of me, was the key to surviving . Hold on tight and don't let go. No matter what. I should've wised up, should've learned long before everything that had happened did, but there was no use wishing for things that had already come to pass. I had to live with my sins, all the things I've done. I'd be answering for it someday, maybe even today, just like Gram-grams had warned.

Was today that day?

I tended to speak while I was thinking. It made me seem even more bubble-brained than I played up pretending to be as the need to suited me. I'll admit that. You can get away with almost anything if everyone around you is convinced you're just too stupid to live.

I'll also admit to the ugliness I've willfully perpetuated. Playing the dumb blonde side of me up has gotten me out of heaps of trouble as much as my true stupidity has gotten me into things.

Some men like the whole dumb blonde needing rescuing thing.

The irony of my current situation wasn't lost on me.

"Fat," I heard someone inside note.

I'm fat?!! Did he just call me fat?! One glance down at my arms, the thinnest they've been ever in my life, my eyes widened and a gasping sputter left me. "Did you- Did you just call me fat?!"

I could point out I'm like half the size of Buu's Joanie. I could play up the airhead act so it was easier to get away with it, as if I truly didn't understand and was incapable of comprehending how utterly nasty I sounded saying these horrible things. But I'm not that person anymore. She died a long time ago. Joanie didn't deserve that. The demon on my left shoulder remained to whisper nasty suggestions in my ear but I paid it no heed.

If anyone could be credited with showing how far kindness and understanding can get you, it's Buu. He's my lifeline.

I'm admittedly jealous that Rek is saying Buu's his best friend now, when I've been Buu's best friend for what feels like forever and a day, but all Buu's ever wanted was a mate and a clan that loves him and how dare I even consider ruining that for him.

Snow fell fast, covering me. I was already freezing. Soon I'd look like a human meat-popsicle. I smiled a little at the reference. I used to daydream I was Leeloo and there was a space cabby out there somewhere for me.

The one named Rek called something out to me, warning me not to do something… Shart? Dart? Part?

What did he mean part? As in split in half?! My gaze frantically darted around the window ledge. It was rough with a bumpy surface, no sharp edges. What would cut me in half?

Pondering this, I gave myself a little wriggle, frowning at the lack of play. I'd crammed myself in here good.

A snarl from somewhere beyond the snow coming down like mad around me had me freezing in place. My words to Rek, asking what he meant, were cut off by the loud shriek I let out that was probably not helping things any.

Silence followed my panicked screech.

Then there was a soft crunch. The sound of a twig snapping.

"What was that?" I whispered fearfully. My hands began to tremble and it was no longer just from the freezing temperature outside. "St-st-stay back," I whispered on a soft whimper. "Please…"

The eyes that peered at me from the whipping white. That sneer. Rage. Plain and simple.

The devil incarnate.

Gram-grams, my Gramps' Mama, tried for years and years, until the day she died, to put the fear of God in me. She was a deeply religious woman. She never did quite manage to get the devil in my mama out of me.

It took a lot to get me here, a lot of bad choices, a lot of pain, regrets, and being nearly beaten to death by a monster I'd chosen to follow because I was a fool, an utter and complete fool. I deserved it, he'd told me as I cowered at his feet and he made sure I remembered what would happen if I failed him. I'd brought this on myself, he spat at me as kicked my belly until I'd lost consciousness.

My heart started to pound. I wasn't sure if it was from the fear of the beast in the snow, or recalling the torture of the monster Mina'd had the guts to dispatch of.

I envied her the feat. She was sort of my hero. I'd never tell her that. She hated me. I'd taken her life, upended it and crapped all over it, then crapped all over it some more. She should hate me. She had every right to wish me gone from the village, a fact I'd tried to explain to Buu but he'd already heard it, he knew, just as he knew going back to the Suns caves would be suicide for me.

It hurt to breathe as I panted for breath, the chilly air piercing. The tears I'd yet to shed, glistening in my eyes, wetting my lashes, were aiding in helping the tiny ice crystals forming along my lashes.

My face burned, chapped from the wind whipping at me.

Gulping audibly, I could only sit here, stuck in the window, and gape as the shadow monster peeking in the snow drew closer.

Gramps used to call me his little hummingbird. He said I was always fluttering about, a little pest in his garden, hunting down the sweetest smelling flowers.

I'd never felt more like one than I did now, as my heart hammered and my hands fluttered about me.

The shadow devil beast was right upon me now. It would only be moments before he came at me, readying his killing blow.

Having barely eaten anything today, I was sure that must have contributed to the lightheadedness sweeping over me. I wobbled in place, mumbling, struggling to keep my head up. A strange buzzing filled my ears.

I was such a failure in this life. Perhaps I could do better in the next one?

"I'm so sorry, Gram-gram… Gramps… forgive me," were my last words as I slumped forward. I wouldn't even be reunited with them in the afterlife. The thought had tears rolling down my cheeks. They burned before cooling and crusting to my face.

Coming to moments later, my head hurt, eyeballs screaming. A deep voice commanded that I wake. "Lucifer?" I blurted as a clawed hand gripped my face and lifted it up.

The devil burned brightly in those black eclipsed eyes that met mine. They were oddly attractive, despite the hell fire brimming in them.

"Bad female," the devil spat.

No, not the devil, my jumbled mind corrected. And all the same, I blurted, "Are you going to take me to Hell?"

The devil blinked down at me abruptly at that and jerked away. He cocked his head, eyeing me. "Hit head?" he grumbled. "In Lo denaii village, Candy-ass. No know?"

"I'd love extra fries. I'm starved," I breathed, blinking up at him owlishly.

His glowering frown turned into a deep scowl. "No one feeds Candy-ass?"

George? Did he need food? "He's dead. He doesn't need food anymore."

The devil's eyes widened. "Hiccups make sick," he grunted out. With a long suffering sigh, he rumbled something under his breath and moved in closer.

My face found itself mashed up against a thick mat of fur. The colors of their fur were different from the others, white, black, with grey mixed in. They were SO warm. My fingers dug in. I hissed at the sting as heat met ice but it was oh so good as I got feeling in my hands back.

The devil yelped as I wriggled my fingers into his sides. When he calmed and no longer protested, I dug them in deeper, until they met skin.

A sharp breath left me. I got a mouth full of fur and this strange but enticing scent. It was… very woodsy, earthy, wholly masculine with a pinch of something I couldn't really define but loved all the same.

My god, I like the way the devil smells!

A yelp left the devil. He meant to jerk away from me but my hold on him sent him flying right back towards me, right into me. I'd just dropped my head weakly— horrible timing really— as we collided.

Something thick, rather long, and jutting between his legs slapped me right in the face, nearly smacking me in the eye.

My eyes shot open and my mouth formed a small, mortified little O.

That was how Joanie, Buu, and all the rest found us.

"Berkr!" Joanie squawked as she rounded the corner.

"Dace!" Buu called out, to quickly shut up as he spied us.

A garbled noise left the devil. He jerked back more forcefully, gurgle-growling all the while. The action jerked me along with him.

A sharp cry left me as I was yanked from the window. I popped free, slamming into him. He flew back with me still attached.

A yowl left him as my face collided with his crotch and we tumbled into a snow bank.

A scream left me as snow began to pile on top of us. An odd image of me using his penis like a microphone to scream into entered my tiny brain. It only lasted a moment. Floundering, I fought my way out of the piling white threatening to kill us.

A thick hand shot through the snow, grabbed at the back of the shirt Joanie had lent me, and I was yanked out of the snow to dangle from the one named Jeh-kal's thick hand.

My teeth began to chatter as I sucked in a shuddering breath.

The devil broke free with a roar. Shaking himself out, his gaze automatically sought out and met mine.

The anger, pure hatred and loathing, all aimed my way, had me curling up where Jeh-kal held me out like a naughty puppy dog. It was hard to breathe. It took me far too long to realize it was because Jeh-kal was essentially choking me.

Buu and Joanie came to my rescue, barking at Jeh-kal to set me down.

Chicken that I am, the second my feet touched the ground I was scrambling for the safety of Buu to tremble behind him.

"Keep Candy-ass ‘way from Berkr!" Berkr snapped. Then, just like that, he was storming off.

At the last moment he paused and glanced over his shoulder. Unerringly, that blazing gaze once more met mine.

He really, really didn't like me. I was so terrified I stood there frozen, unable to break eye contact.

The devil, this Berkr, had to look away first. A shudder slid through me.

Joanie glanced between Berkr and me with a half frowning contemplative look. "Well, that went better than I'd thought it would," she said finally.

Celuk, the scary leader guy of their clan, their prime, as Buu referred to the guy in charge, retrieved his Jo and escorted her back inside. The others followed, hot on their heels.

My gaze slid towards where Berkr had stormed off. My stomach felt funny. I used to think I was pretty good at reading human men, and to some extent the few beasts I've ever interacted with. It was how I knew Buu was safe. It was how I knew which men to pick back on Earth. It was how I knew that despite understanding George was a sure thing, someone my mother would have approved of because of how he'd spoiled me as his mistress, something about him had always given me pause. It sounded so stupid to think of things like that now. I considered myself some sort of expert on reading men and yet I'd taken up with the monster of all men? In some ways, the generalization that I'm too stupid to live wasn't all that far off, fake dumb blonde act or not.

I'd let Mama's words guide me to the complete and total destruction of my own sense of self, and in some ways my soul. I can never get any of it back, or take back the horrible things I did, telling myself it would all work out in the end if I just held on, in the name of some warped idea of love.

Mama'd died the same fate I'd feared for myself with George— at the hands of the abuser she was too scared to leave, a man she thought she'd nab up, lock in, then change to suit her. An endless parade of crappy men, looking for a diamond in a bag of coal.

This devil, however… I knew better now. I don't care how heavenly he smells.

"Hey, twiggy! You comin' or do we need to come shovel you out?!" Joanie called out after me.

"Coming!" I squeaked, to rush off.

I have no idea what had come over me that day I saved Joanie. I'd been terrified. That Krampus was vicious. I had this horrible flashback of what had happened to me with George and, I don't know, I just- I couldn't just stand there and watch. I couldn't let her die like that. I'd just… snapped.

And I'm so thankful I could save her.

"Think she's stuck?" I heard her ask someone, and I started to run towards the house as fast as I could in this snowy muck piling up around me. She may sound like she's a big old pile of sarcasm and I don't care but Joanie cared. She could be loud and what Gram-grams would have called snark incarnate, but she cared and it showed. Buu adored her. So did her other mates. Even that nitpicky Rek beast.

I wonder what he'd think if I admitted he made me think a lot of Gram-grams and Gigi?

Nah, best not. I wanted to stay here, after all.

Some things were better left unsaid.

As I reached the front door, I couldn't help but glance over my shoulder one last time.

Perhaps I was just seeing things, but I'd swear I stared into the abyss and the devil's eyes, however briefly, flashed back at me from the dark.