Chapter 23

W ondering if I was a dick for doing so, I recreated Boog's knock, smiling like nothing was amiss when Mal came hightailing it to the door.

"Resident village bitch here, come to visit the new resident witch. Thought you might like some company? A tour of this wild and furry snow show? A bitch buddy perhaps?"

Mal laughed and invited me in, looking happy to see me.

Seated at the table already with Tohkrii, Rosa grinned the second she spied me. "I thought I heard some Classic Joans headed our way."

With an overdone hair flip, makeup lookin' fresh, I grinned. "You know it."

"No," the little man in her arms chirped.

Wiggling my fingers, I held my arms out. Rosa laughed as she handed him over.

Setting the basket down on the table, I cuddled my lil cousin nephew and blew him air kisses that wouldn't leave his fur stained from my lipstick.

"Jojojojojojojo," he happily babbled.

"That's right, Mr. Man. Who is your favoritest auntie in the whole wide world, huh? Huh?"

"Jojojojojo," he babbled again as I made silly faces at him and he chortled.

"Goot mama," Khri complimented, leaning down to talk softly with Mal before landing one hell of a smooch on her and leaving us be to our girl talk.

Realizing Khri meant me, my cheeks pinkened at the compliment but I played it off. "Know any single, handsome hotties who know how to treat a girl right?" I joked.

Khri laughed as he left.

"All the good ones are all spoken for," I cooed down at my little friend, who was so happy to play he had spit bubbles in his drool as he cooed back.

"You're horrible." Rosa chuckled, shaking her head at me.

"That's what makes Auntie Jojo the best," I singsonged down at my new lil buddy.

"Yes, she's always like this." Rosa answered the question in Mal's eyes.

"Don't hate me ‘cause you ain't me." I played it up, sending both women laughing as they shook their heads at me.

By the time our meet up was done, Rosa and I volunteering to double team the task of breaking Mal in on all things Yetified, saving her from the sweet but misguided overachiever, taskmaster demon that is Daisy, Mal had tried to pry any info she could about her sweet, notably absent Boog.

Oh, he so had it in the bag. Khri knew his shit.

But just to be sure…

Khri almost walked right past me on his way back to his hut.

"Hey," I called out, waiting for him to walk back.

That's right, hurry up, bub, I'm freezing my tits off standing here waiting for you.

"So she's your mate and his, but he's your responsibility now too. Y'all are a unit, a family. And I'll get to having a little chat with her later, but you hurt my friend and I'll wear your balls for earrings, you feel me, fluffykins?"

Khri grinned like he found my threat adorable. "You talk you Kooky like that?" he quipped.

"I talk to Kooky however I damn well please," I sassed right back.

His grin widened. "Goot."

Reaching out, he gave me a gentle pat on my shoulder that felt very good little kitten with claws and left me to frown after him.

His amused chuckles weren't helping any.

"Jojoknee?" he called after me as I slipped out of my hiding spot and headed for home.

I turned to him with a shrewd stare.

Holding out his forearm in the general sign of I swear or submission, his head dipped and he swore, "Khri be goot to Boog and Mally-mine."

Inclining my head towards him in acknowledgement, I gave a slight dip of a bow. "Thank you."

With that, we parted ways.

Feeling a mite better about Boog's situation, feeling like he was in good hands, my steps grew a little lighter.

As usual of late, night rolled around and yet again sleep remained elusive. Without the threat of Krampus out to hunt me down hanging over my head, I felt comfortable enough to start taking midnight walks around the village.

My days were filled with projects I'd taken on to keep my fidgety ass busy. It helped keep my mind off the dumpster fire that is my life during the daylight hours.

Boog was biting at his nails waiting for Khri to call him back into the fold. As I'd advised Boog, I put my faith in the mucho grumptastic warrior dude. He wasn't going to play Booger false.

Stepping out into the cold, purse over my shoulder, bundled up for the weather, tablet stowed inside, and a basket of goodies to nibble on while we got our movie night on over my arm, for the first time in a long while, I was feeling optimistic.

No, things had not panned out like I'd have wished with Kooky, I was crushed, but it wasn't the end of the fucking world. Gopher and I had slipped back into our before mating friendship. I died a little inside whenever he hesitated to make contact with me, like I had leprosy, or suddenly made a hasty exit, but I was trying. He was trying. It was hard but… fuck me sideways, we were trying.

Being platonic friends like this was a bitch.

Truth be told, I was starting to keep our interactions to a minimum. All this together but not together stuff was making my head hurt.

"Jo! Jo eat?" Doogie came jogging up to me, the turn for the bunker just up the way.

"Douglas," I intoned solemnly, inclining my head towards him, making him smile. "What brings you all the way out here? Don't you have some family member to torture? Food to snatch from your mama?"

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, he confided excitedly, "Daisy say Doogie come to Daisy's."

My smile widened and my eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? That's awesome. Congrats, bub."

He chuffed at the bub thing but went on. "Likes Doogie drawings. Ask make more for Daisy babies' rooms."

"A date and a side job. Sweet deal." Following along, I nodded at the appropriate parts, distracted as I was to get going. I was happy for him.

"You go?" he blurted suddenly.

"I go… where?" Blinking at him, my face crinkled in confusion.

"Daisy's, with Doogie," he elaborated.

"Right now?" I blurted, eyes widening comically.

"No." Holding up his fingers, he told me in three days.

"Oh, well…" Did I have to?

At the look on my face, he made a plaintive sound and cupped his hands. "Pleases?"

His big, sad puppy dog eyes gave me a good laugh, but I was starting to understand how he'd charmed his way out of some of his stupider moments.

"Fine." My hand lifted and I waited for him to pause mid, YESS, before I continued. "But you owe me."

"Owe Jo big!" Picking me up and spinning me around, despite my squawking protests, he set me down, leaving me dizzy, to run off, whooping as he went.

Shaking my head, I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

Reaching the bunker right on time, I got settled in and waited.

I waited. And waited. Finally, I had to concede they'd probably forgotten all about movie night.

Packing up my things, blowing out a long breath, I was just about to leave when voices issued from above and the hatch flew open.

Expecting Gopher or Booger or both, I stared in surprise as one of the Lo denaii I'd seen once upon a time during one of their after movie guys' meetings hurried in.

"Jojoknee!" he greeted warmly, patting me on the back, herding me, it felt like, to the front of the room where Boog and Gopher used to hold court.

A pile of furballs came rushing in, until the place was cram packed.

"I don't mean to barge in on anything, fellas… Let me just leave you to-"

"What mean, female says, fine. All the times fine, Gubarr say what wrong?"

"Uhm… she's probably definitely not fine." A short chuckle left me. "Maybe she's not ready to talk about it with you, though?"

An annoyed grunt left Gubarr. "What do then?"

"Stop doing whatever it is you're doing that's pissing her off?" I suggested.

A round of chuckles and nudges at Gubarr had the male glowering at his fellow husbands in training but he didn't argue my advice.

Getting serious, I tapped a claw along my jaw. "What exactly is going on when she gets upset like that and you notice and ask what's wrong but she won't tell you?"

Gubarr started to fidget awkwardly.

Giving him an out, I tossed out, "See? I think you already know. Maybe work on that."

Another beast barked out a question.

"You fellas know I'm not the kind of person you should probably be asking about personal relationship advice, right?" I pointed out, but they didn't seem to care.

"I'm not responsible for what happens after seeking advice from me!" I murmured as my hand shot up. "Are we clear on that?"

Question after question was fired at me, until my brain felt fried.

Thinking of one of my all-time favorite movies on my tablet, I lifted it up. "If anyone has the time, I brought a visual teaching aid? And snacks?"

Before I knew it movie night was well underway.

Standing next to the tablet, I stopped it every so often to explain, "See what he's doing there?"

"Hooman rude," one grumbled.

"Not nice say things to Libsbeth," another grumbled.

"It's so much easier to watch it secondhand like this and comment, it's the doing of all the things and not being a douchenozzle that gets ya," I murmured as I watched.

"Lisbits not want bad male be mate," added someone else.

"Yes, see? And Elizabeth is about to tell Mr. D with her fancy way of talking to stuff his stuffiness up his butt. Keep this in mind when you get all oonga boonga, me male, you mine, grr-grr business. Don't be a dirtbag," I reminded, to hit play so they could watch it for themselves.

By the time the movie had finished, I felt like at least a couple of them had a decent handle on things.

Listen. Don't be a controlling dick. This is a relationship, it takes two people.

As I walked home, refusing a couple of their offers to make sure I made it to my hut okay, I smiled to myself. I honestly hoped I'd helped some of them out. The others? Hopefully their ladies didn't make them go bye-bye. If so, some home gardens were about to look super well fed.

On a hunch, I detoured and popped by Booger's. On a much larger hunch after finding him MIA, I mosied on by Khri's place.

Boog sat hunched, crouching on the side of Khri's hut, straining to hear something these human ears could never pick up.

"I'd ask what you're doing, barking it at you to startle some sense into you, but that's akin to kicking a dog when it's down," I murmured, holding out a hand as Boog's face filled with chagrin.

"Boog no help it," he grumbled, taking my hand but lifting himself up.

"Forget something?" Waggling my basket, then unzipping my purse to show my tablet, I gave him a look.

Boog's lips parted, eyes widening. Something that passed for a Lo denaii curse words burst from his lips. "Forgot!" he burst out as we strolled along.

It was nice, late at night like this, all quiet and calm, everyone snug inside their homes. Well, mostly everyone. There were always stragglers hanging around but they seemed as keen to keep to themselves as I was.

The village was starting to feel like that safe space it had been for me, long before the Krampus marking, hunting bologna.

"It's okay." My shoulders lifted in a shrug. "It was entertaining," I tossed out cryptically.

"Gofur go? Goot." A sharp grunt left him.

"You sound like you didn't think he was going to show up." My gut had told me not to count on Gopher showing up but a part of me had still held out hope.

"Want him's Jo. Hard be ‘round," Booger blurted, staring down at me worriedly.

I understood that worry, all too well. I felt like that inside as I tossed out advice to misguided furballs and then learned them something with some Mr. Darcy-scale failings, hoping they got the picture.

"I'm not asking for anything from him," I murmured, before I'd thought better of it.

"Him know," Booger rumbled out softly.

Blowing out a long breath, I forced down the pain certain emotions rubbing along the surface created, and with it the pain right between my eyes that was sure to lead to a literal headache. "It's hard," I confessed, frowning as some of that shit I try to keep hidden, to myself, slipped through.

"Be ‘kayed, Joansie," Boog rumbled out reassuringly. "Time. All worked out." A thick mitt came down on my shoulder and he gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I don't know what the hell to do if it doesn't." Biting at the inside of my cheek, I glanced up. "Does this mean you're going to hang up your late night creeper hat?" I teased, gently bumping into my companion as we walked.

"Boog has choice?" he paused to ask, making me laugh.

"No." A grin tugged at the corners of my mouth. "I'd think with the whole heavy hunting season coming up, you'd be prepping some shit for you and your Pumpkin boo to make use of."

"What… what's if she no comes ‘round, like Jo say, and Khri go? What then?" he mumbled worriedly.

"Then she'll have to make do by herself, with check-ins from me, Rosa when she can, and Ms. Dorothy." Grinning, I nudged him. "I heard Daisy shit herself hearing Rosa and I did a bangin' job teaching her the ropes." Another nudge. "Those refresher sesh's from you really came in handy." Wiping imaginary sweat from my brow, I grinned. "It was like cramming for a test." With a withering look and a sniff, I admitted with all the haughtiness of a queen, "Do you know how much of that shit I actually do not do?"

"Joansie not have mates," he pointed out. "Just Jojo. No babies runs after, wash, wash, wash clothes, feeds everyone. Jojoknee ‘lone."

My smile fell. I felt like he'd just yanked the rug out from under me. I mean, I knew this was my existence, this weird limbo, but it hit different having your close friend so casually toss it out there. He wasn't wrong— half the shit that went on around here was largely in part to do with the care and feeding of your family grouping. I had none of that.

Forcing a smile, I tossed him a wink. "Well, ya know, I'm kind of a hard sell. This ship of bachelorettedom refuses to sink."

"Joansie happy?" Boog asked, catching me off guard.

"Pfft." My hand lifted and I waved it about. "Am I happy? I'm happy you're calling me Joansie," I quipped.

When he continued to stare down at me, askance, essentially calling me on my bullshit, I rolled my eyes.

Was I happy?

A small laugh that sounded slightly hysterical spluttered out of me. "Sweet cheeks, I'm so happy I could go roll around in the mud over it."

"No know that mean," Boog admitted with a frown.

"Don't you just ever," I mocked cooed as I bid him farewell and made a hasty retreat.

When I'd put a fair bit of distance between us, I slipped between the nearest set of huts to lean against the side of one. My head slowly clapped to the plaster covered looking side of the hut I was leaned back against and I sighed and closed my eyes.

That building pain between my eyes was back. I knew what that was, squeezing my eyes shut tighter. More than anything, I wanted to pretend it wasn't there, looming, threatening to send my eyes watering and stuffing up my nose.

Ugh. I hated this shit.

Gaining my composure, I popped out from my hiding spot and set out down the path.

Making it back to my hut in one piece, I changed into my warm pajamas and made myself some tea. Nibbling on a few berries and a piece of bread, wondering why I'd yet to make myself some damn jam, I was all set to crawl into bed with a cozy book, beat out the night to catch a few winks once daylight hit and all those nighttime fears that still plagued me being all alone like this left, when the handle of my door rattled.

Scrambling for my purse, spilling my tea all over the front of my pajama shirt, I yelped, jerking my shirt from my person as hot liquid splashed my chest.

"Jojo opens or Rek breaks down door!" the half feral, anal, walking rug demanded from the other side.

Throwing the door open, I shouted, "Are you mental?!"

"You up. Good," he muttered, walking right in like he had any right to, to slam the door closed and lock it behind him.

With a grunt, he prowled the room, sniffing the air noisily.

"What the hell are you doing? Is this some kind of psycho wiener, delusions induced…" I couldn't even think of a word for this craziness. "What the hell are you doing?"

Rek continued to sniff things, picking up items to hold them directly under his nose.

Grabbing up the cloths I used for tea towels, kitchen towels, whatever you wanted to call them, I blotted tea off of my chest, glaring at him all the while.

Rek paused to study what I was doing, before moving on.

He had that same sleep-deprived look in his eyes as before. He was definitely slimmer than he used to be, I noted.

"Are you sick?" I murmured, walking over to my bed to sit down, watching him.

"What?" Rek continued to sniff around the place like a crazy person. "What mean, sick?"

"I mean, sick. Are you sick-sick?" I elaborated.

"You sick-sick. Gives males stupid names. Gogo-ed-boobs, Rektal… Kook-deed, call bad male Bum-bum. Silly female. Not good."

"I don't hear Gopher bitching when I call him Gogo boots, fur for brains, Bum-bum's name sounds like a bunch of growling sounds and he doesn't prefer to be called anything, I'm just repeating the song sounds others make when he stomps around intimidating everyone, and what's that shit about Kooky? What the hell else am I supposed to call him, dummy? It's his name!"

Rek stopped snuffling at everything, giving me a long, measuring look.

"What?" My eyes narrowed as I studied him carefully.

He paused for the longest moment but then grunted and glanced away. As if whatever he'd been looking for wasn't to be found, he finished his investigation, coming up with zilch. With a grunt, he picked up my tea mug and nabbed a towel to start mopping up the mess.

"Late. Why my Jojo go meet males in small hidey hole cubby space?" He just tossed it out there. "Thems haves mates. All thems," he grunted out stubbornly.

Good lord… save me from crazy males.

"If you must know… I'd had a movie night planned with Gopher and Boog." Hesitant to tell him the rest, I stood and busied myself with my bedding, getting it turned down for bed. "It sort of turned into a…" My hand lifted, making a lazy circle as I searched for a word. "A support group, of sorts."

"Supports for what? They haves mates. No need supports from Joanie," he growled out softly as he stomped closer.

As if he wasn't there, I turned off all the lights but for the small candle lantern by my bed. "Sometimes… some people need someone to give them a little knock upside the head, a sort of Oi, don't be doing that, numbskull ."

Climbing into bed, I went on as if he wasn't there. Rek climbed right in along with, reaching over to turn off my light, like this was all perfectly fine and normal.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

"Rek cold," he grumbled, feeling anything but as he slid in next to me. "No hog all bed furs." Grumbling and fussing, he cozied right up to me, curling himself around me until there wasn't an inch of me that wasn't pressing into him. "Why need Jojomine tell them they stupid? They stupid."

I had to snort at his audacity. He had some nerve coming up in here acting like this, but I had to admire the balls on this fool.

"Some people wouldn't know they were being a crazy person even if you wrote it backwards on their forehead in permanent marker to remind them every time they looked into a mirror, You're a total nutjob!"

"Why backfurds?" he softly grumbled, sounding all comfy cozy and sleepy.

Glancing over my shoulder at him in the dark, I gave the thick arm snuggling around me a pinch. "Because the mirror flips the image."

"No need mirror know they stupid. No need Jojomine…" A loud, jaw cracking yawn left him. It was cut short as his hands brushed the dampness on my shirt from my tea spill and he grunted in surprise. I'd almost forgotten all about it.

With a soft, chuffing, Ew, sound, he began carefully undoing the buttons on my sleep shirt.

"Excuse me," I spluttered.

"No ‘scuse. Shirt wet. Rek help," he muttered, deftly dodging my hands, much as I slapped at him, and soon had the entire front of my shirt undone before I could redo a single button.

A long, body jarring purr left him as I grumbled at him but sat up and took my shirt off, shoving it over his face in annoyance, and flopped back down. Huffy puffy on the outside, I was practically trembling in anticipation on the inside.

Tossing my shirt to the floor, he resettled.

"Happy now?" I bitched, even as my skin prickled as he purred, pressing himself up to my back immediately, to brush the underside of my breast with the back of his palm as his arm curled around me once more.

Nuzzling my bare shoulder, he purred, "Rek cold. Jojomine warm."

"I'm not yours," I muttered, squirming in his arms.

"Mmm… Mine." He hummed softly to himself, absently nibbling his way up and down my shoulder, as if he meant to kiss every single goose bump that cropped up along the spot. Good luck with that. Every little teasing kiss he placed left a trail of heat and those body wracking shivers in its wake.

"I'm not… I'm." I forgot how to breathe for a minute as his fingers grew searching, one boldly cupping my breast for his thumb to start playing with my nipple, his other hand teasing the waistband of my pajama pants before dipping inside and slipping lower. "I'm not giving in- Ah…" My hips jerked as he brushed the sensitive nub his questing fingers found and he thought to tease to death. "This isn't surrender," I blurted.

"No," Rek purred. "My Jojomine too stubborn. Head hard. No listen her Rek."

I wanted to brain him as much as the urge to snarl at him that if he even thought of stopping I'd murder him.

As if he knew he was getting me good and riled and enjoyed me all cranky and spicy, his purr cranked up a notch.

"Freak," I muttered, assisting him in wiggling my pj pants down my hips.

Something thick and long pressed into one of the cheeks of my ass.

"Jojomine's freak." His mouth closed over a spot on my shoulder and he teasingly bit down. Lifting one of my legs, he slid down more and hooked it over his, forcing my legs open for him.

His cock slid up under me, his shaft smacking against me hotly as his not so little friend jerked, ready to play.

A sharp gasp left me, my channel clenching, aching and empty. I knew I was done for the second his nostrils flared and he inhaled deeply.

Without preamble, he lined us up and slid deep.

His deep, guttural groan joined the moan I couldn't hide.

"Oh… my Jojo," he mumbled against my skin, his grip on me tightening as his hips slapped harder, faster. I worked to match his pace, sending us flying over the edge in no time.

His teeth sank deep then, remarking the spot he'd left permanent teeth marks on my shoulder previously.

Pleasure and pain mixed, dragging it all out.

Still hot and hard as a rock, Rek kept going, fucking me from one orgasm and right into another.

By the time he'd exhausted himself, I was too tired myself to give him the ol' heave ho.

"You can stay, I guess," I muttered, "but this in no way is my acquiescence." Reaching back behind me as he snuggled down, I pinched his hip. "I'm back on no baby tea. No funny business."

His purr was crazy loud, undeniable. It had a goofy smile twitching the corners of my mouth.

"Rek be good. Rek Jojoknee best." Placing a kiss over the teeth marks he'd left, his grin was small but cocky.

"Whatever you say, Rektal." My hand lifted to pat at him before it fell limply to my side with my next yawn.

"What mean, ‘ever Rek say?" A sharp grunt left him and he gave me a little shake that woke me up for a second. "What say, ‘ever Rek say? Rek best." Another jiggle of a shake. "Say Rek best."

"You're the best," I mumbled sleepily, swatting at him to knock it off.

With a mollified grumble, he settled behind me. Soon, huffing puffs followed, grunted out mutterings in Lo denaii. "Rek Jojomine only one. Rek first…" Something-something, I dunno. He continued to mumble under his breath but I was too far gone to care.

Waking up alone, to the sound of soft, urgent knocking, squinting around the room in confusion, I had about two seconds to collect myself before Gopher quietly opened my door and slipped inside.

With a finger to his lips, he silently closed the door behind him.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, still half awake.

"Rek walking ‘round village," Gopher whispered, "say to Go', Jo hims. He first mate." An unhappy grumble rattled his chest. "Say Odix, no be Jojomine's mate, ‘less Rek says."

"He fucking what?" I burst out, clutching a blanket to my chest as I sat up a little better. Rek had woken me up unbelievably early to pay homage to my promised land with his mouth. I mean, I hadn't been complainin' much at the time then but… "He's doing what now?"

One sniff of the room and his nose wrinkled. Grabbing a small pouch out of his belt, he dusted the room.

We'd dusted it early this morning, before Rek'd gone downtown and had himself a little feast.

The blood drained from my face. "Who all has he told?" I blurted.

"Boog. Go'. Odix." A silly little smile tipped his lips as he said Odix's name.

"What?" I muttered.

"Odix punch him in face, ‘fore Boog or Go' can. Nose go," Gopher mimed a bloody nose explosion. "Smell like blood. Lots. No smell like Jo…" Gopher gave a pointed glance towards my downstairs.

With a groan, I flopped backwards. "That insecure little weasel! I'm going to kill him!"

"Not if Odix get Rek first." Gopher snorted.

Sobering, gaze darting repeatedly to my bare shoulders, his brow crinkled. He looked like he wanted to ask a question, perhaps a few, but refrained.

"You know how they say sometimes the cure is in the poison?" I muttered, scrubbing my free hand down my face.

Gopher shook his head but listened patiently.

"Last night, it was totally like that," I finished, motioning for him to turn around so I could get dressed.

"What Jo need cure?" he asked softly as I scrounged up a hoodie and leggings in a pinch.

"Loneliness," I answered absently as I dusted the bed, then sprinkled it with the liquid concoction I'd made of shame dust, water, and dried, crushed flower powder and kept in an old hairspray bottle, and then quickly made up the bed.

Gopher turned towards me as I was putting on clean socks. "Jo… lonely?"

Finding my socks the most fascinating thing in the world, I mumbled, "It's maybe a smidge more than that with Rek…"

Gopher grimaced but forged ahead. "Jo lonely." It wasn't a question.

"It was a moment of weakness," I decided on.

There was no knock on my door as Odix came rushing in. Slamming the door and locking it behind him, he snarled, spun around, and pressed his back against the thick wood. One loud sniff of the dust of shame stink killing everyone's nose and he relaxed a little but not much. "Rek come. Brings Berkr. Say Jo him's, him first mate, we keeps her from him."

"He said what now?" I had a hard time letting that one sink in.

He went to Berkr, the biggest sexist idiot of them all, all me beast man, you weak silly little female, mine-mine-mine, listen to me, female , and told him I'm his and Gopher and Odix are keeping me hostage?!

"We have do something," Gopher snarled.

Odix's face started to crumple, right before he got mad once more. Baring his teeth at no one, he snarled, "Rek say Odix no' Jo male. Rek no say!"

Staring at the pair stupidly, I felt numb.

Boog knocked, announced himself, and Odix opened the door to let him inside.

"Ey! We go. No' much times!" he barked, motioning for Odix and Gopher to hurry up and help him with the basket of vegetables in his hands.

"What are you going to do, beat him with squash?" I mumbled, eyeing him funnily. "Gag him on a tuber?"

"No." A slow, evil grin crossed my partner in crime's face as he pulled out a pale looking tuber and began to peel it. "Beats Rek at own games."

Staring at him in surprise, pride and a smidgeon of what the fuck mixing, I motioned for him to continue.

With everything set up, Boog slipped out, leaving Odix, Gopher, and me to work out the dynamics of our little charade.

I'd admit, this was probably the weirdest fucking thing I'd done yet.

After Boog had left, it had been sort of a who was going to do what, private conversation between just the three of us kind of deal. The fact they'd both agreed to this cockamamie thing in the first place put them somewhere between just as crazy as me and fucking awesome.

Berkr pounded on my door, demanding that I open up. We'd already been playing our parts for a bit, the moment Odix had announced he heard steps coming closer.

He pounded several more times before throwing it open and marching right in like he had any kind of right to. "Rek say Jo him's mate," he'd started off, sounding as exasperated as the rest of us with Rek's backhanded bullshit. He got one look at what looked like Gopher's length plugging one hole, Odix, crowded in behind me the other, their soft grunts and my overdone moans filling the air as I squirmed on pale, phallic shaped, carved vegetables that looked scarily realistic from a distance, and quickly excused himself from the room.

The fact Boog had gotten the whole idea from something he'd heard thirdhand about Rosa and her mates from Doogie, the apparent gossip of the family, who'd heard it listening in on a convo between Bia and Noyel, yeah, I wasn't ready to tackle that mind fudge. Ever.

We kept up our act for a moment longer, my movements slowing as Berkr's bitching about Rek being a nuisance, from what Odix had offered of the hall monitor's loud grumblings, fading into the distance.

"What do this?" Odix muttered aloud, holding up the carved, fat hunk of veggie designed to look like part of his junk he'd removed from where it had been pressing up against my anus, to hold it up.

Taking it from him, I tossed it into my fireplace. "It was poking my asshole. Kill it with fire," I told him, making Gopher laugh while Odix's brow furrowed in thought.

"Jo?"

"Hmm?" My gaze met Gopher's as he fiddled with the hoo-ha designated vegetable still in his hand.

"Jo need… smell like Odix, Gopher."

"I need to smell like you," I echoed, glancing between the pair. Frowning, I grumbled, "I thought we were just going to pretend, to trick Berkr and get Rek to knock it off."

"Bum-bum nose better. Smells goot," Odix offered, looking as unsure of Gopher's comments as me.

"He can smell over the dust of shame?" I blurted. This was news to me. Could he smell long range? Like, could he help me find Fuck and Run? My mind buzzed with possibilities. As to our current dilemma, I had to point out, "Why would Bum-bum give a crap? He made it very clear when we last met that he didn't want anything to do with me."

"Why him follow Joadnee ‘round all times then? Doogie say Mina say it lurking. Him lurker. Why him lurky, he no want?" Odix grumbled, looking about as confused as I felt about all of that hot mess.

Glancing between Odix and Gopher, I mumbled, in thought, "Technically, Gopher and I are already mated. Really, Rek just needs to think I picked Gopher as first mate, right?" But that wouldn't work because of Gopher's, erm, issue… Which Odix had no problem pointing out.

But then it clinked. "Who says we actually have to do anything with each other, for real?"

"Now Odix ‘fused," the big male rumbled between loud, halting grunts.

How did I put this plainly? "The filling needs to be in the pie, but it's not like we have to, you know-"

Odix made a frustrated noise while Gopher sat there, still as a statue, listening. "We talk food or making babies? Too many funny words!" the big male admitted.

"We just need to convince Rek we're all fully mated, right? It doesn't have to be true." He wanted blunt. Here we go. "We don't need to fuck until you come like there's no tomorrow and fill me up, it just needs to seem that way."

Gopher shifted uncomfortably.

"Ah- erm- We don't have to do anything. It was a lame idea. Forget about it." Waving the idea off, I was racking my brain for a better idea when Odix grunted out, "Odix touch self, then puts grrr-argh in Joanie. Rek think Odix mate Joadnee, leave Jo ‘lone."

Turning to him, I stared up into his frowning mug. "You'd do that? I mean, you're okay with that?"

Puffing out his chest, Odix rumbled, "Odix pretend first mate."

Well, that could work…

Gopher barked something at Odix harshly that had the barrel chested beast grumbling unhappily, to bare his teeth at the slimmer beast.

Standing, they advanced on each other, until they were snarling at each other with me sandwiched between.

"Ladies! Ladies!" Squishing my hands up between them to put a hand on each of their chests and push, they paused in their snarl match, took in the knock it off or I'll brain you both look on my face, and then snapped something at each other in unison that just set them off again. "English please!"

"Odix do it," Odix growled, easily switching.

"I do it," Gopher insisted.

"You broke. Odix better choice."

"Go too fast. Won't make it in Jo even if has all the help!" Gopher shot back.

Spluttering, incredulous, I put my foot in my mouth on this one when I blurted, "My god, you can both do it!" Realizing what I'd just suggested, I gaped and blinked. The fuck…

"Odix go first," the prince of cake grumbled.

"Gopher mate first. Gopher go first," the real slim Yeti insisted.

"Odix being first mate. Odix go first!"

And on and on they went,

Not about to bark that they could both go first, I muttered, "There's always Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"What this? Like fight?" Odix grunted out, looking up to the challenge as he sized Gopher up.

"NO!" Giving both a nudge until they put some space between them, I gave a quick run through of the game, but this didn't seem to satisfy either of them.

Thinking about the size of their clubs, I had to throw another wrench in the works. "Does anybody have lube? Because there is just no way any of this is going to work, thinking to slide right home at the very last minute with those third arms y'all got swinging."

"Odix first mate. Odix go second." Walking back on his insistence of moments before, I gave him a funny look at that one. Not that I was complaining or anything but, "May I ask why?"

Snatching up the designated snatch vegetable off the bed, he held it up. "Odix… help."

Gopher growled softly under his breath, sounding like he'd wished he'd thought of that first, but grumbled, "Fine."

The urge to laugh filled me. This sounded more like we were trying to choreograph a porn scene.

Admittedly curious if we could even pull this off, and not without my own reservations about all this, unless I was going to give in to Rek's arm twisting and be his good little doormat while he terrorized the rest of my semi-harem, this was our best option, all things considered.

"You don't have to do this," I reminded both of them. My hands went to the waistband of my leggings but I hesitated.

"Want to," they grumbled in unison.

"How are we on the whole lube thing?" I muttered, slipping my leggings off, leaving me in a hoodie and panties.

Ignoring the twin rumbles issuing at the sight of my Wookiee lookin' legs , I glanced around.

Frowning, Gopher admitted, "No lube."

"Shit." Nibbling at my lower lip, my gaze darted to the furry pole pointing at me from between his legs. Someone was very happy to see me. "I would offer to help you wet that whistle but…" We both knew it would trigger that other side of him.

Reaching over me, Odix grabbed Gopher by the throat. When Gopher flailed and went to claw his hand away, he snatched both of Gopher's up one-handedly and gripped them in his huge mitt of a paw. Gopher could try to struggle, but unless he wanted to risk hurting me in the process, he was pretty well handled.

"Odix watch. Gopher be good. Kiss. Make wet."

A shiver kissed its way up my spine thinking about him watching, but this wasn't the time. "Are you okay with this?" I asked Gopher, who glared at Odix but nodded.

Dropping to my knees, I jumped a little when I went to reach for him and his length jerked, as if to let me know how beyond happy it was to see me. A soft growl rolled up his throat as I pulled his furry foreskin back and took his throbbing length into my mouth.

A long hiss sounded off above me and Gopher's hips jerked, pressing him more urgently down my throat. Nearly gagging, I pulled back, to do it all over again.

By the time I let him go, his hips lifted as if to chase my mouth. His growls were loud, his body thrashing from side to side but never outright fighting Odix to truly get free.

I was so wet already any assistance in that department was unwarranted.

"Ready," Gopher growled out gutturally, his hips thrusting into the open air.

Odix grunted, sounding winded as he growled out softly, "Jo take."

Gopher's pupils were blown but he was coherent enough to nod his head when I asked him if that was okay.

Climbing atop him, maneuvering around Odix's arms, I had enough time to line us up and sink down on him, got two pumps in, and Goph was crying out, jerking erratically as he came like there was no tomorrow.

The moment he finished, Odix released him, got one hint of Gopher's mate lust sitch peeking, and did that crazy neck pinch on him.

Odix lifted me off of Gopher's fainted form as I made a distressed noise in my throat. I would have reached out for my unconscious mate but Odix's thick hand slid up my stomach, right up under my hoodie, to rest high on my chest, fingers pressing into my collarbones, the hand at my belly pressing me firmly against him.

His cock was right there, incredibly thick, the mushroom shaped head leaking precum at the tip.

A soft moan left me, unbidden, as he pressed to my pussy lips and they strained at the stretch. I hadn't been kidding earlier. Odix was a big boy in all the best ways.

By the time he'd worked his cock all the way inside me, my channel straining to hold him, that pinch of pleasurable pain putting me right on that edge, he pulled out until just the tip remained, to slam back home unceremoniously.

I only lasted three pussy battering thrusts before I lost it.

Odix gave it all up to me on the next.

His cock thickened as it burst, like it wanted to seal my opening, making sure absolutely none of his essence seeped free.

"Think… Think he's okay?" I panted out as my body spasmed and my pussy clenched his still throbbing cock.

Still lost to the moment, his face buried in my hair, Odix grunted, "Mad when waked up but beed fine."

Allowing myself to fall back against him, I sighed in relief.

Soft grunts left him as his cock continued to jerk, stuffed up inside of me, a heartbeat all its own just throbbing away.

Thick fingers slid down my belly and he felt around that thickness wrecking my shit.

A soft gasp left me whenever his fingers ventured too close to that overly sensitized nub.

His purr vibrated my back, making me feel guilty for borrowing the guys this way.

As if sensing my discomfort but unable to place it, Odix rumbled out softly, petting my overstuffed cunt gently. "Hurt?"

"No, it doesn't hurt." Hesitant to say too much and give him the wrong idea, I murmured softly, "As long as you don't move too much, it actually feels really nice."

"Goot," he grunted out.

"You're stuck, aren't you?"

Holding up his fingers to show me, holding them a short distance apart, he gave a loud grunt. "Littles bit."

"I heard some of you lock on, a whole semi-knotting thing." Curious, I lifted up a little, trying to see what that might look like, if I glanced down.

Odix grunted and yanked me back to him. "Who say?" he grumbled, his voice gone gruff.

To state the truth bluntly or dance around it…? "Some of the ladies have no problem talking about their males'... attributes."

Relaxing, his breathing went from huffy puffy to evening out.

"You wouldn't happen to know how long this might last… would you?" I muttered, curling my toes as he shifted from foot to foot and a twinge shot through me. On the heels of that twinge was a zip of pleasure.

"Tight," he choked out as his cock started to jerk deep inside of me once more.

"Maybe if we changed positions," I wondered aloud.

It took some maneuvering but we managed to get down on the floor, so I was on all fours with him behind me.

Instead of fixing our little problem, his chest rumbled louder as he stared down at our joined bodies and that monster he calls a dick swelled even more.

"You have got to be shitting me," I muttered.

Shouting in the distance had us both stiffening.

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" I muttered, giving a gentle nudge back to try and wriggle forward. This just sent the well hung beast above me growling and purring simultaneously.

That shouting continued until Rek and whomever he'd dragged along with him were right at my door.

"Don't come in! We aren't-" Curses flew from my mouth as Rek shoved the door open, Kirch on his heels, barking at him a mile a minute in Lo denaii, Rek waving his hands at Kirch wildly.

Odix growled. One peek up at him told me he'd gone all grizzly bear on their interrupting asses.

Rek gaped like he just couldn't believe his eyes, spluttering as he took in Gopher laid out on the bed, his flaccid length laying limply against his leg, come glistening on the tip as it remained extruded from his foreskin.

"Gets off!" Rek roared, and attempted to launch himself at Odix.

"NO!" Kirch shouted, wrestling Rek back. "Look! They stuck! Odix no puts Jo ‘hinds him! Look!"

Glaring at me, Rek snapped, "You lets him go! Let's him go NOW! Bad female! BAD! Rek no say! Rek no say Jo haves Odix! Rek-"

Kirch let out a surprised noise, grabbed Rek by the back of his neck, clapped a hand over his mouth, and dragged him out of the room, to slam the door behind him. We could still hear them outside as Kirch snarled in English. "You no learn! Learn from Kirch! What Kirch tell Rek? Kirch bad to Mina! Mina no want Kirch! Mina finds better males! Kirch lucky Mina want Kirch at all! Rek think Jo wants, Rek plays stupid tricksies?! Rek want be ‘lone?! You Jojo not nice like my Mina! My Mina spicy… You Jojo all the spices! She kick Rek peepee off, laugh in Rek's face, dumb boy! Wake up! " A long, loud growl issued, and then Rek grumbled something lower in Lo denaii I didn't ask Odix to translate.

"Jo not need males! Rek needs stop doing stupid things! Rek needs to learn!!"

Their voices faded off into the distance, the awkwardness of being stuck to Odix still ever present.

Dropping forward to cup my chin in my hands, I mumbled, "So… read any good books lately?"

"Odix no know how read." Like that did the trick, his dick slipped wetly from my channel.

I cringed at the awful slurping sound that made.

Handing me one of my cloths from the small stack on the table, he grabbed another and cleaned himself off.

"Once Kirch is done haranguing him, fuzz nuggets will be back. You guys probably don't want to be here when that goes down." Washing up and putting my undies and pants back on, I admitted, "I don't plan on being anywhere near here until night fall."

Odix carefully put Gopher's foreskin over his cock fully and dipped to heft him over his shoulder. Turning to me, he tilted his head questioningly. "Jo has lots things to do?"

"Something like that." Holding my home-made spray out to him in offer, he turned as I sprayed so he was fully covered. Feeling like it defeated the whole purpose, but knowing Rek was the only individual dumb enough to get all up in my business to try and smell past the spray, I left it be.

We wanted Rek to believe it, not the entire village. Though technically… to me, we were all basically mates.

Was I to them?

I was too chicken shit to ask.

"We go," Odix rumbled out with a nod, though he looked like he'd much rather not.

"You'll- You don't think he'll be too mad when he wakes up, do you?" My hand lifted and I reached out towards them, but quickly let it drop as he turned towards me.

"Go' be fine," he promised. Stepping out, he hesitated with his hand on the doorframe.

"Needs smell like mates. Be back this many. Do ‘gain, Rek believe." Holding up his hands, he showed me if we wanted this to work it needed to be a biweekly thing.

My day went on surprisingly uneventfully after that.

Mal was beating herself up inside about Boog, it was as plain as the nose on her face, planning for the hunts coming up continued, everyone abuzz with news of the big hunt coming up, and I returned to my empty hut afterward, as usual.

Rek must have listened to Kirch for once because he didn't make another appearance.

When the time came for Doogie's proposed dinner date with Daisy, I was feeling awfully odd, on edge.

Everything was so topsy turvy, unfinished, yet so boringly mundane during the day, no sign of Rek ready to throw a monster tantrum in the works, no sign of his mangy hide anywhere, my ass was feeling twitchy from it all.

Yet to hear a peep from Kooky, that was the cherry on top of the cake.

"Best behavior," I reminded Doogie, doing a quick fuzz check on his person. "Breath?"

He breathed into his hand and nodded. "Goot."

"Teeth?"

"Goot."

Offering him a quick rundown, I reminded, "She likes manners. Please and thank you are huge. Don't talk with your mouth full and-"

"Yes, mother," he grunted out at me, dodging me when I went to whack him one for that.

"You're welcome." A harrumph left me. Shaking a claw at him, I tsked, "And your mama too, because she knows you, fool, and she's onto you."

"Put finger ‘way. No aim at me," Doogie laughingly grumbled as he batted my hand away.

Noting as we drew closer that Daisy had opted for an outdoor event, I mumbled through the side of my mouth, "She say how many peeps she invited to this shindig, dear, best behaved brother of my heart?" The table she'd set up was looking longer than their intimate group required.

"No." He let out a grunt. "Say, Doogie and Joanie comes to her home, this day, this time."

My face scrunched up. That sounded oddly like she was inviting us as if we were a couple. EW.

Debating on whether I should inform Doogie of my suspicions or not, the choice was taken from me as a gang of tiny demons bellowed at the sound of my voice, "Mojo Jojo!!"

Doogie winced at all the squeals and took a step back away from me as Daisy's brood converged on me.

Greeting each and hugging the non sticky ones, I allowed myself to be captured and dragged towards the table.

"Do you think she'll let me sit at the kiddie table?" I joked, getting a round of cheers and happy little giggles.

Doogie frowned, his gaze darting from the kids to me. Genuinely stupefied, he muttered, "Why want sit at tiny table? That for babies."

I'd have stayed at that damn table, too, if Daisy hadn't spied me hunching down, much to the munchkin's giving me away's delight, collecting me to reunite me with the adult folks.

The long table was full, Daisy holding court like a queen at the head. Doogie was seated opposite me, smack dab in the middle of the long table, which seemed to confuse the poor male. A part of me hoped he figured it out, but not before he got over his crush on Daisy first. Whatever her intentions were in inviting us here, they weren't because she was interested in Doogie for herself.

The small, apologetic smile I sent him at the crestfallen look on his mug made me want to offer him a hug, even if just so he could distract himself by telling me how icky he'd find it.

A deep voice rumbling softly from the macho dudes gathering to gab about the hunt end of the table, the table notably opposite where Daisy was seated, caught my attention.

Spying Odix deep in conversation with Righty, I watched as he absently stroked his forearm, right over where I knew there'd be bitemarks from this lady right here.

"So, Doogie, how did you and Joanie meet?" Daisy called sweetly from her end of the table.

Doogie and I blinked at that. Doogie recovered first, frowning down the table at her. "Mama," he said simply.

A large shadow that belonged to a grumbly brute came into view. Vurhg wasn't the most… He wasn't what I'd consider polite company.

"She you mate?" Vurhg grunted out.

Doogie glanced up at him, his gaze darting to me. "Jo? NO!" he burst out.

"No want Jode?" Vurhg grumbled.

Doogie shook his head vehemently.

"I don't want him, either. Not that anyone was asking," I put in dryly.

Ignoring my response, Vurhg dumped a bundle onto the table between me and Doogie and took the empty seat next to a wide-eyed Doogie.

To make sure there were no misunderstanding, pretending the wrapped lump on the table didn't exist because god only knows what the hell it was, I met Vurhg's glittering pink eyes as I told him, "If you're asking if I'm available because you're interested, I'm not. On either counts."

Vurhg gave a grunt that said we'd just see about that, and joined in the conversation about the upcoming hunt.

Daisy gave me an Oh my god, I am so sorry wince. This was a setup. My god, she'd thought Vurhg was a good option? Or Doogie? Mind ya business, woman! I was going to kill her.

The male beside me started to lean in as if to chat me up. Cutting off all of this bullshit at the pass, I grabbed a dish off the table, dished out a little onto my plate, and shoved the steaming serving dish into his hands with a firm, "No."

Doogie glanced from me to the male next to me in astonishment. He grinned when I gave a little shrug and accepted the next dish coming my way.

The second I saw pod peas I scrambled for a napkin.

One pinged off my forehead as I bent, finding my napkin had fallen to my seat and I was half sitting on it. With a glower Doogie's way, I launched it right back.

Vurhg caught the next projectile, grumbling something at Doogie in Lo denaii that had Doogie's skin flushing and his hands dropping.

"Hey," I barked, "did I ask you to intervene? Leave him alone."

"What he you?" Vurhg demanded to know.

Chucking the pod pea in my hand at his head, I grumbled right back, "He's like a baby brother to me. So if he wants to be a heathen and chuck peas at me, and I'm not fit to be tied over it, butt the hell out."

Lefty attempted to draw Vurhg back into their conversation, but it would appear I'd attracted an admirer.

Whatever. I'd send his ass packing just like all the rest.

"Doogie hear she eats poop," Doogie told him, nodding. It was his lips twitching that gave away his bullshit, or maybe Vurhg could smell the bullshite to it.

Wishing I had one of my backup treats in my purse, I sighed at the indignity of it all.

"They call me Poop girl," I said as I lifted my mug and took a long drink. The cool, crisp water did nothing to calm my nerves. I wasn't keen on the way Vurhg was staring at me.

"No eats poop." Vurhg scoffed. "Silly thing female says, no want warriors catch her."

"I'm not up for grabs, Vogue." I made a clucking noise with my tongue. I could feel my left eye twitching.

"Vurgh," he corrected.

My hand lifted, nails clacking, and I flicked them at him. "Whatever."

Vurhg scowled at my general disinterest in him.

"Vurhg goot warrior. Smart. Strong. Bick cock-"

"-er spaniel!" I finished for him. Lower, I hissed, "There are babies right behind you! What is the matter with you?!"

Vurhg seemed to enjoy my fit of pique. I most certainly did not.

Jerking his chin at the wrapped bundle, he folded his arms over his chest belligerently.

Glancing from him to Doogie, who shrugged and leaned closer, I carefully lifted the flaps of the bundle.

One peek in and a sputter of a laugh left me. My gaze traveled up and down the length of the table questioningly. "Is this some kind of stupid joke? Razz the lady with no males draped over her? That thing is not dinner table appropriate."

Doogie leaned forward, taking the material from my hand, and made a sound, dropping it quick to sit back in his seat. "That not for- for when eating! At the table!" Doogie muttered in obvious disgust and agreement.

"Take. See. Vurhg goot male," the cocky douche insisted.

"You're saying, you want me to take this?" My finger jerked at the supersized stone dick under that cloth, "To what? Go fudge myself? And I'll what? Decide your mangy hide is worth it?! Are you sure you aren't half human guy because you sound about as douchey as some of my less than favorable run-ins on Earth, Gaston?!"

"Not Gat-son. Vurhg." With a grunt, he muttered, "Not puny human. Strong. Lo denaii warrior."

Vurhg was a brick shithouse but he struck me as dumb and young, a fumbling youth acting too big for his britches. As if to add proof to my running theory, several males down at the hunters end of the table snorted out a laugh.

More curious stares joined in, glancing from the covered mystery object to him. My face flushed as I found Odix's eyeballs on me.

"Not interested," I muttered, scooting Vurhg's stone dildo back towards him.

"Vurhg heared Rek try say unmated female him's." A scoff left him. "Chase angry female… Vurhg no see him catch."

Grabbing up his rock dick, I threw it at him. "Catch this, you waste of baby batter!"

Vurhg jerked back from where he'd been leaning over the table towards me. He yelped, then growled as his stone dick smacked him in the cheek.

Daisy gasped and shot up, rushing over to her babies big enough to sit at the kiddie table, hurrying them inside with the excuse they needed to go wash their hands again.

Pointing that disgustingly detailed looking, glittering blue stone cock with gold streaking through it at me, Vurhg bared his teeth at me, pissed at being insulted so, and was just starting to lay into me about how bad of a female I was, to Doogie's growling disapproval, when a large shadow fell over him. Thick fingers curled around the back of his neck and Vurhg found his face slammed, WHAM, hard into his food. Slam. Slam. Bam. I thought I heard something crack as Odix walked right up to him without ceremony and gave him the Lo denaii version of making him eat his words.

"No," slam, "talk," bam, "Joadnee," slam-slam, "like," slam, crack, "that."

Vurhg let out a gurgle as Odix drew the green youth's head back. Satisfied he'd made his point, he let Vurhg's head flop forward with a disgusted huff.

Our eyes met across the table and he gave a clipped nod. Clapping Doogie on the back, he picked up the wrapped bundle, glanced from it to Vurhg, snorted as if to say, yeah, okay, and then pulled his arm back and chucked it.

A small, muffled laugh left me as it whizzed through the air, landing who the hell knew where off into the forest. Walking back to the far end of the table, he bid them good-bye, then Daisy's mates that hadn't followed her inside, and took off.

Deciding it was time for me to skedaddle as well, I stood, said my good-byes, and left.

Doogie was quick to join me.

"That went to shit fast," I muttered.

"Mama say, Vurhg hatched under the tree." Doogie chuckled at that.

"I'm sorry it didn't go like you'd hoped for." Adjusting my purse over my shoulder, I winced in sympathy. "I know you really liked her."

"Think she pretty." Doogie's shoulders lifted in a careless shrug.

"And now?" I asked, picking up on an unmistakably but in there.

His face scrunched and he squinted into the distance. "Like angry tebbimenk when not happy. Tiny voice gets LOUD."

A sharp bark of laughter left me. "The dream was not as fulfilling as the reality?"

"No." Doogie shook his head sharply, the face he made, like he found something unpalatable, just made me laugh harder.

"Don't worry, bub. You'll find that gal out there for you. A less tiny critter-like one, perhaps?"

Another shrug. "Maybe. Maybe Doogie meant be alone."

"It's an option," I told him, making him roll his eyes at me.

We walked on a bit longer, stopping at the spot we were meant to part ways. "Mama made food… Jo hungry?"

"Why, Douglas, do you have a fever? Someone call for help! I think he's ill!" I called out.

Doogie grumbled, swatting my hands away playfully, but grinned the whole time. "You go?"

"Sure, why not. I've got time to kill."

"Mama food better," Doogie leaned in to whisper.

"Just don't tell Cottontail that. She's a bit of a perfectionist," I whispered back.

"No say she no fun," Doogie mock huffed.

"Was it her frowny face during our pod wars that killed it for ya?" I joked.

Dead serious, he grimaced. "Mama say no do that but she never makes Doogie stop."

"Oh. So what you're really saying is you're hopelessly in love with your mother. Okay. Got it."

"Ugh! You sick!" Doogie made gagging noises, shooing me away as I cackled like a hyena.

"I'm sick? You're the one harboring creepy leanings, dude." I had no idea how I kept a straight face to say that but it didn't last long.

"You sick! Blech! Ick! Sick-sick-sick!" he went on, keeping it up all the way to Dorothy's.

By the time we got there, my stomach was so sore from laughing I couldn't finish my food.

Spying movement out back as I slid the cookie balls Dorothy had made that Doogie kept joking looked like bug gut treats they made for livestock into my jacket pocket, I rushed out. Staring in astonishment, I hurried down the back steps, making a beeline for Baby.

"Hello, sweet girl!" I called out, grinning when my sweet little horn baby caught sight of me and let out a happy, get your ass right over here, low.

Grabbing one of the actual bug treat balls Doogie had just been making cookie jokes about, I offered one up to my sweet baby, cooing at her as she happily gobbled it all up.

Movement to my left had me glancing over, hoping to see Kooky. My smile slipped as Heckes and Mosoau, deep in conversation, waved at me and paused long enough to toss out a curt greeting in passing. More hunt planning. It was all many a furball would talk about. The big hunt was a long trip. It took a lot of supplies and planning.

Turning back to Baby, I grabbed the brush Dorothy kept on hand and pampered her until her coat shined.

"Baby missed her Jo."

Whipping around at the sound of his voice, I nearly dropped the brush. "You're here!" I kept telling myself to play it casual. Be cool. And then I squeaked like an eager teen drooling after their crush at the first sign of him.

"I missed you too. I mean her. I missed her too," I babbled as my skin pinkened.

Kooky grinned, eyeing me, and moved in closer.

Running his hand along Baby, his fingers almost touching mine as they followed along after the brush, he leaned in and I'd swear he was sniffing my hair.

"Can I help you, sir?" I chirped, all sass and beg your pardon.

Kooky pulled back too fast as my head shot up to catch him in the act, if that was in fact what he'd been doing.

"Yes," he said simply.

Wait. "I can?" I blurted, gaping up at him.

Kooky's smile refused to dim. I basked in that shit like a flower soaking up the sun.

"What, uhm. What did you need me to do?" Please say kiss you. Be mine.

Down, girl! Heel!

Someone tell my pounding heart that.

His head cocked as he eyed me. I'd swear his eyes were smiling along with the rest of them. "Jo say she take care of Baby, out on hunt…"

Damn. Okay. I mean, yeah, I could so do that, no problem, but my poor little heart fell at his answer.

"Of course." My smile felt as brittle as the disappointment slipping into my voice, giving me away.

"Jo… miss… anything else? ‘Sides Baby?" he asked lightly, clearing his throat several times, going for casual.

Glancing his way curiously, wondering if he was playing with me, I shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe… who's asking?"

He took such a long assed time answering that one, I felt it only right to torment him a little.

Grabbing another treat for Baby as my other hand curled around the treat loosely wrapped in cloth in my pocket, sliding the people treat up my sleeve, I held out the bug ball to him. "You know, these aren't as bad as they look. Salty, a bit bitter, crunchy, it's an acquired taste," I murmured as he took the bug treat to give it to Baby.

Eyeing me, treat in hand, he put it up to his nose, got a good whiff of it, and made an ew face that had me cracking up, shaking his head at the idea of putting that nasty thing into his gob.

Backing up as I watched him hand the treat over to our sweet tato-corn, I murmured, lifting the treat from Dorothy up, I turned my hand just so to block what it really was, "Suit yourself. You're really missing out, man."

Kooky gaped at me as I popped the treat into my mouth and began to chew. A shocked, gurgling noise left him.

I was going to hell, penthouse suite, the works, as I kept a serious face and he slowly lost it.

"No eat that!" he burst out finally.

Fingering another treat in my pocket, I held it up, once more angling my hand to hide what it was. All he saw was a similarly shaped treat ball. "Why not?"

"Make sick!" he spluttered. It was kinda fun seeing this big, serious hunter dude poop himself over lil ol' me. It wasn't exactly how I'd imagined him going crazy over me but I'd take it.

"Haven't gotten sick yet," I chirped, popping the second treat into my mouth.

"NO!" Kooky bellowed.

He moved awfully fucking fast when he wanted to.

Nabbing me up and slapping me down on a bale of what constituted for the Yeti version of hay for the critters they kept, he was on top of me, hovering right over me, pushing me down into the pile of pink straw, demanding I open my mouth and spit it out, before I could blink.

Lips pursing tight, I defiantly chewed. My lips quirked, slight choking noises leaving me from chewing like my life depended on it so I could explain my ruse before he literally crapped himself, and not choke on my own laughter while chewing.

With a growl that gave my ass the shivers, he leaned in, wriggling a finger to try and get it between my lips.

My nostrils flared as I squirmed, chewing that gooey gob even faster, shaking my head at him.

He was freaking the feck out.

This was my payback for pulling such a silly stunt. Karma at its finest.

Grabbing my jaw tightly, he leaned in, squeezing my cheeks in the process until my lips made a teeny tiny little O.

Chest heaving like a bellows, sucking in huge lungfuls of air to snarl down at me to spit that shit out, everything in him stilled. Cautiously leaning in as I blinked up at him through watery eyes, he was squeezing my face so tight, he gave my mouth a sniff. Then another. One deep inhale later and all the fight left him.

"Jo," he barked at me, sounding more relieved than pissed. Releasing my jaw, he slumped against me, his face mashing to my breasts, his ear pressing to my thundering heart. "No scare like that. Bad-" Stopping himself short as a soft gasp left me, realizing he meant to call me a bad female, just like Rek did, he corrected himself, rumbling, "Bad joke. Scary."

When I didn't respond he sat up, smokey blue-grey eyes meeting mine.

"I won't joke like that with you again," I blurted, assuming that's what he wanted to hear.

I didn't like the idea of him thinking I was a bad female. Rek had ruined me on that phrase at this point. They might as well call me a useless bitch.

With a groan, he pressed his forehead to mine, gently pressing, just shy of nuzzling the spot. "Jo not bad," he whispered as his eyes closed, as if to read my mind.

Swallowing thickly, I forced the words past my suddenly dry lips. "Yeah? What am I then?"

Thick hands bracketing my face, he reached out and brushed my hair out of my eyes. Plucking straw from my tangled locks, his lips quirked. "Jo goot."

"Am I?" He was so fucking close. I should feel boxed in, pinned down. I felt anything but.

His nose brushed mine, a feather light touch. Then again, as it to signify the first time had not been a mistake.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him what he was doing, because I was not about to get my hopes up thinking I had a chance to then be rejected yet again, when the screen door slapped open, Dougie made a loud, ARGH sound and turned right back around to stomp back inside. "Kissy faces," I thought I heard him mutter. "Blech. No want see that ."

Lifting himself up off of me, Kooky held his hand out.

Just like that, our maybe, almost magical moment was gone.

Taking his hand, I allowed him to pull me up. One look at the straw all in my hair and I made a face.

Mock glaring up at Kooky, my hand shot out and I jerked a finger at my hair. "Do you see this, huh? Look what you did? Are you proud of yourself now? Hmm?"

"Jes." Kooky's grin was unrepentant as he turned me around and started to help me pluck straw from my hair.

"Just thought you might-" Dorothy started to say as she popped out back. She got one look at us, made an oops noise, and turned back around to walk her ass right back inside.

"Just picking the bugs and eating them!" I called out, to Kooky snorting out a laugh. "Want us to save you some?"

"We no want none!" Dougie bellowed out over his mother, who was snort laughing at my antics.

"No asks you!" Kooky called back.

"All sames! We no want!" Dougie shot back.

By the time those two were done, Dorothy and I were in stitches.

Holding my sides, a soft eep left me as Kooky wrapped his arms around me, a soft rumble building in his chest, and pressed his face into my hair.

"Hut too big, no big boobs to boss me ‘round. Empty," he murmured into my hair.

Just say you missed me. Just say it. Say you want me to come back.

When he didn't, I patted his hand. "Well, if you eat enough and work really hard at it, I'm sure your boobs will come in."

Kooky gave my middle a squeeze that pushed my arms under my boobs, boosting them up. "Know I mean," he muttered with a soft grumble.

"Do I?" Playing stupid was silly. That nose of his didn't lie.

"When Jo come back?" His voice was soft, quiet, like he was expecting me to say never.

"I don't… I don't know," I admitted.

With one last nuzzle to my hair, he set me on my feet. "Need prepare. Big hunts come." He sounded like he was talking through gravel, his voice gone rough and deep.

Turning without another word, he left as quickly as he'd popped in.

Slumping down atop a hay bale, I scrubbed my hands down my face. Why did I feel like that one was kinda on me? I'd all but crapped on the olive branch he'd been offering.

Grimacing, sitting up, I brushed the straw off of me and walked back to the house, ready to say my good-byes and thank yous for the meal, and make my exit.

I needed some time to myself, time to think. There was a lot to unpack and I was just packing it all down instead of dealing with any of it.

What better time for some self-reflection than when the males were rotating their hunts.

With Odix, Gopher, and Rek on the rolling roster for this stuff, I was bound to find a minute alone to myself, right?