Chapter 21

R ek snuffled awake, lifting his head from the inflatable wobbling clown punching bag looking thing I'd stuffed a fluffy sweater I'd rummaged from this pile of nonsense to use as a personal substitute.

One look at that overly happy, crazy looking inflated clown face stuffed into a sweater with two shirts shoved up underneath it for tits and not me, he let out a surprised shout and punched the thing away from him.

Of course, this just caused it to pop up as it shot backwards, the weight at the bottom making it wobbly sending it shooting right back towards him.

A sharp snort of laughter gave my position away as he shouted again when it smacked at his face as he sat up, then punched it away from him with a growl, for the same thing to happen all over again in an amusing, never ending cycle.

One slash of his claws at clown substitute me's face had it death screeching the rapid air loss. Hopping up on the bed, Rek bent down to growl at it and stomp his foot down onto it. Kicking it off the bed, he snarled and pointed, "Stay down!"

Frowning, I held up the small, silicone tips coated tongs buried in one of the smaller piles. "What item on this wackadoo list translated into Rek-speak made you think I wanted one of these?"

"This many," he corrected, holding up both hands, then two fingers.

"Twelve… salad tongs?" I blurted.

"Corn tongs," he muttered absently as he scratched at his belly, yawned, then stretched.

"Corn tongs," I echoed, studying the list.

Oh my god. "Corn dogs," I cried out with a laugh. "It says box of corn dogs. Twelve." My eyes widened as I read down a bit further. "How the hell off my rocker was I?"

"All the way off," Rek grunted out, lips twitching as he walked past me, making sure to brush along my back, nabbing up one of several waterskins hanging on hooks in the designated kitchen area.

"You had help with this," I murmured, eyeing the little doodles next to some of the words.

Rek grunted but pointedly turned away, giving me his back.

"Booger helped you… and maybe somebody else?" I guessed.

Rek let out a louder grunt but didn't seem particularly interested in divulging any info.

"Who?" Waiting for him to turn around, I got one look at the metal spring-like object near his feet and fairly lost it. Picking my way closer, my fingers skimmed it before I picked it up. Holding it out on the tip of my finger, watching it slink down before springing back up, I caught it up quick, letting the list fall, to run the slinking toy back and forth in my hands. "And where did this get lost in translation?" I asked with a laugh.

"Not lost in transflation. Rek learn. Rek find." Looking decidedly uncomfortable as he glanced over his shoulder, he turned back to steeping his water, presumably for tea.

"What was this?" Setting the springy toy from my youth down, I grabbed the list back up from where it had fluttered to the ground. One quick glance through that madness and I called uncle. "Nope. Not seein' it, Rektal."

With a little huffy growl in his throat, he grabbed the toy up, along with a Christmas themed elf, a she-elf, that sits on a shelf wearing red. "Slinky, red Elfette," he sounded out slowly. "This not Elfette?" He waggled the doll.

Going down the list, I had to suck my lips into my mouth to keep from laughing outright as I read slinky red outfit.

"Who helped you with this?" I burst out instead of any and all of the other things that first came to mind.

Rek hesitated before grumbling. "Rek not want say…"

Watching him, I cocked my head. "Do I know them? Is it more than one more person?"

Snatching the list from my hands, he growled as he crumpled it into a ball. "What matter? Rek get things on list. Rek do as Joanie say."

Advancing on me, backing me into a pile until something hard and metal was digging into my butt, he leaned down, until we were just shy of standing nose to nose, then huffed in my face.

I had two options handling this: piss him off, or confuse the fuck out of him.

Pulling the metal object jabbing my backside free, I blinked, then blinked somewhere, examining the bike bell. Holding it up, I gave it a ring, sending it brrring-brrringing loudly between us. "What was this supposed to be?"

"Bling-bling," he muttered offhandedly, frowning down at it like he still wasn't sure if he'd made the right choice on the interpretation of that one.

"Is there a reason you're getting all up in my face?" My eyebrows slowly rose as I made a soft chiding sound.

With a chuff, thick arms boxing me in, he pressed his chest to mine, surprising the spit out of me when he leaned in and softly brushed his cheek with mine. "Missed my Jojomine."

"Well, maybe I missed you too, you giant pain in the ass," I mumbled as he started to purr, rubbing his cheek along mine, and I felt myself slowly melting against him.

Holy shit, I'd missed this. If he hadn't gone and pissed all over everything we'd had, we'd still be where we'd been!

"Joansie missed me," he rumbled out, curling his arms around me, pulling me close, to sway us from side to side slowly, a hum thrumming in his throat, as he began to nuzzle my throat.

"It won't work, you know. You can't just sweet talk your way right back into my good graces like you used to. What you did was beyond anything I- Are you… humming The Thong Song?"

"Humming Jo's song," he grunted out, then got right back to it.

"I think SisQo would have something to say about you calling it my song," I mumbled as he began nibbling a heated path up and down my throat, tugging anything in his way out of it.

Rek paused his exploration of my person, a low growl that meant he wasn't happy building in his throat. Pulling back, he gripped my shoulders, glaring down at me. "Joanie take male she no know. Then he no want her. Comes back to Rek. Then Joanie take Gopher, then Gopher no want Joanie. Joanie go to Celuk's, play housey. Joanie say kooky-kooky-kooky, everybody all the times. Rek think Joanie is kooky. Bum-bum play with Joanie. Joanie let Bum-bum play. No care him no want Joanie. Odix kiss Joanie front of hunters. Joanie no smack-smack him, say no-no. Joanie lets. No say no tell no ones, be seemkret boyd friend. No. Lets Odix rub baby juice all over Joanie. No make him leave, though Odix too stupid know put it INSIDE Joanie! Joanie punish Rek for make Joanie claim Rek, but Joanie won't claim Rek, won't be good female and do as Rek say so Rek claim Joanie and give Joanie lots of babies!"

Fuming at this point, I grabbed his nose, pinching it between my middle and index finger, leading his mangy ass the fuck outta my face before I rip it off.

"Excuse you?!" I burst out as I shoved him away.

Rek flopped backwards onto the bed, growling at me as he caught himself and lifted up onto his forearms.

"First of all," my hands shook as I pointed a claw at him, "who was the one who wanted to keep us all hushity-hush first? Who was acting all ashamed of me, hmm?! Who is making crazy demands if I wanted to be with you, huh?! Don't go pointing fingers in my direction when you've got just as much shit smudged all over your face!" Grabbing up my things, I stomped towards the steps leading the feck outta here. "Can't believe I let you talk me into this, AGAIN. Can't believe I was dumb enough to think things might be different this time, that your dumb ass might come around and grow the fuck up, AGAIN!"

All the way up the steps, I bitched, ranting like a madwoman.

Forcing the hatch up, using all of my weight to push against it, wondering if something might be blocking it or I was just that fucking puny, I had it open and was climbing out to slam the hatch back down as hard as I could, when I plopped onto the wet ground on my butt and turned to swing my legs out, and my boot connected with something wet and heavy. Rolling to my knees, about to heft myself up, I came face to face with a soggy looking head, its mouth opened in a macabre display, fangs exposed, tongue swollen and funny colored. It was a Krampus, its horns missing.

Screaming, I scrambled back. Crabwalking away from that shit, slipping and sliding in the mud, my dignity had completely left the building.

Once I'd started screaming, it was like I couldn't stop.

Rek's hatch flew open and he came barreling out.

His gaze darted to where I was slipping and sliding, screaming my flippin' head off, to the mangled fur on that bedraggled, tipped head dipping in my direction.

With a loud sniff, growling all the while, he paused, the sound dying in his throat, and walked right over to it.

"Don't!" I warned him on a strangled scream.

Rek grabbed hold of its mangled head fur and lifted it.

Blood dripped from its neck, water and muck and whatever else. Turning its face fully, he held the severed head up for me to see.

Bile rose in my throat as he nodded at it.

"It dead." He gave it a waggle. "See? No eyes. Just head. All gone. No bother Jojo no mores."

Realizing waving that thing at me wasn't helping my panic any, he tossed it and made his way towards me, but all I could think about was him touching a severed head!

"Get away from me! Don't t-t-touch me!" Scrambling to my feet, I turned and ran, slip sliding all the way around the side of his house.

Whirling around the corner, I dashed past Heckes and Mosoau, who appeared to be moving heavy looking crates, lumbering along the path. They called out to me but all I could muster was a half wave.

Adrenaline driving me, I hoofed it all the way to Bum-bum's front door. Out of breath, seething, I banged on his door. "Open up, you crazy asshole! I saw the head! I know you're in there! What the hell's the matter with you? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! Who just leaves a severed head just lying around like that, huh?! Are you mental?!"

A short grunt behind me had me whirling around, a scream to rival the first one catching in my throat.

Bum-bum put some space between us, looking more closed off than I'd ever seen him as he folded his arms over his chest, expression unreadable, and scowled down at me.

"What is the matter with you?!" I demanded to know.

He cocked his head, grunted, and gave me a look that said I was going to need to give him more to go on than that.

"The severed head?!"

"No leave head," he grumbled evasively. There was a very big but in there though, I could feel it.

"Then who did?!" I burst out.

His lips tightened and his face started tic'ing, first his eyebrow, then his mouth, going from scowling to snarling, but the snarls weren't aimed at anyone. Soon his whole body was jerking like he was having some sort of issue. His head rolled on his neck, jerking backwards one moment to slam forward the next.

No clue what was going on, I backed up a few steps. "Hey… Do you need help? Are you- Are you okay?"

With a snarl that sent him shooting forward, dropping to all fours, he snarled, snapped his teeth at me, and bellowed, "No want Jo. Bad female. No want mate. Go… ARGH- Go ‘way! No come ‘round! No want! NO WANT!" he ended in a deafening roar.

Rek caught up to me, took one look at Bum-bum twisting this way and that, his head cocked at a funny angle, bellowing at me, and snatched me up and ran.

He would have probably run all the way back to his place too if we hadn't bumped into Gopher, who was watering the plants in my garden, talking to another male, his back to me.

"Put me down," I muttered, squirming in Rek's arms until he complied.

The male talking to Gopher spoke louder at Gopher when Gogo boots paused in what he was saying to the other Lo denaii, his face downturned, serious, and blurted at my disheveled appearance, "What Rek do now?"

"Why always Rek do things?" Rek bitched.

"He didn't do anything," I snapped, though I immediately felt bad about it. It wasn't Gopher's fault he had stuff going on and didn't trust himself with me. It pinched me, though, something awful, that he didn't seem to even want to try.

The second Kooky spoke, turning at the sound of my voice, I was charging for him full tilt.

My name was on his lips but he didn't get the chance to utter it. "Kooky! You're back early!"

"Jes. Come see Jo ready go home," he rumbled out softly, to wrap his arms around me and hug me back just as tightly.

Rek started to grumble off to the side of us but Kooky barked something at him sharply in Lo denaii that had my perpetually pissy sock monkey putting a pin in it.

A rumble filled Kooky's chest when I smothered the smile tipping my lips against his fur at the magic that he was.

"You heard Mr. Grumpypants Khri has got himself a lady now," I pulled back just enough to tip my head back to stare up at him and ask him.

Kooky's grin matched mine as he chuckled and gave a sharp jerk of a nod.

Brushing a finger along my face, he pointed out, "No color." A sniff told him. "Scared." His head shot up and he gave Rek a shrewd once over.

"Rek no do it," Rek grumbled, his head dipped and tilted, as if in some sort of sign of submission, glaring at him through the corner of his eye. "Rek no play with dead things… heads."

Kooky glanced down at me sharply. "Someone left a severed head nearby. I found it. Bum-bum said it wasn't him," I explained.

"Say Jojoknee not hims mate neither. Say no want. Say go ‘way. Loud," Rek found it pertinent to chime in.

My face flamed but I turned my head in his direction and glared at the asshole just throwing my shit out there like it was everyone's business to shut up. "Are you just going to tell everyone?! Why don't we make posters with all of my business plastered all over it and save you the trouble, huh?"

"Lots Lo denaii no know how read hoomans' words," Rek snarked back.

"Sometimes… I hate you," I admitted.

"Sometimes, Rek think Joanie mean!" Rek shot back.

"Maybe because sometimes I fucking am!" I sniped at him.

"Rek go get things Joanie say from Joanie list. Joanie say-" Rek hesitated as he glanced between Gopher and Kooky, who were both giving him narrowed eyes stares.

"What Jo say?" Kooky rumbled out darkly.

"I wasn't in the right frame of mind," I mumbled through numb lips as Rek made weird sputtering, spluttering noises at the challenge in Kooky's voice.

"Rek stupid." Gopher snorted. "Joanie make silly list. Say who get things on list, she loves them for the evers." With a roll of his eyes, he muttered, "She no know she even make list. Prokar's punch."

"Why you say Rek stupid?" Rek burst out. "Gopher and Odix help Rek find things on list, learn list words. My Joanie loves Gopher but Gopher too stupid and throw it ‘way! Throw it in face! He not even tries! Just say no, no want, like nothing! Who stupid now?!"

"My Joanie?" Kooky repeated curiously, but he was fully aware of my stupidity with Rek.

Rek and Gopher, rushing up on each other, looking about to square off, both looked like they were collectively holding their breath at his words.

Kooky looked from them to me, askance.

"Can we go home now, please?" I softly begged.

Nodding, he dismissed Rek and Gopher with a basic good-bye grumble I'd heard many a time, escorting me into my hut to collect my shit so we could leave.

Rek started to argue but Kooky made that same noise, rougher, louder, and Rek immediately shut it.

"I need to work on my Don't fuck with me grumble," I opined. "It's not nearly as cool or effective. You're over there all, Good day to you and your fuckery , and they're all, Shit, alright."

Kooky chuckled, the sound rusty, deep, as he led me along.

His nostrils flared as he entered my living quarters, but he didn't say a word. Choosing to pull out one of my table chairs, he sat and tapped the top. "Tell."

When I hesitated, he clucked his tongue and tapped the top a little harder, more resolute. "Tell."

"There's not enough chocolate in the world to see me through it if I just spewed it all out there," I muttered under my breath, quickly grabbing my things. "If we wanna get home by dark," I hemmed and hawed, "we better-"

Kooky grunted and just tilted his head, eyeing me in that way he does that makes me wonder if the feeling he can see right into my damn soul is exactly how he feels.

Biting at my lip, I gave him my back. "I don't want you to look at me differently," I admitted.

"Look at you funny now?" he asked. "All things tell?"

"No," I said slowly, fiddling with the zippers on my suitcase. "But what if you do?" Stealing a peek at him, I swallowed thickly at the look on his face, sharp and unreadable. He was listening, in think and observe mode.

His eyebrows lifted slightly but his eyes softened.

A small laugh left me. "I don't know where to start… really…"

"Start where you stop telling me," he rumbled out softly.

"Caught onto that, didja? Heh-heh."

"Jes," he said simply.

Sucking it up like a good little buttercup, I proceeded to spill the beans, all of it, every sordid detail.

Occasionally Kooky would interject, short clarifying questions here and there.

Pausing as I stuffed more crap into my suitcase, I looked to him over my shoulder. "Do you think I was too harsh," my hand lifted and I waved, "earlier, with Rek?"

"Rek need learn," Kooky replied after a short pause. "Jojo want be Rek good female? Do all Rek say? Make lots of Rek's babies? Do all Rek say, no say for Jo?"

"Hell no!" If I were a dragon, there would be fire streaming from my nostrils.

Kooky grinned at my emphatic reply.

I continued packing up for a few more minutes. Kooky took the pot of water he'd put on when we'd started talking off. He made a pot of tea and poured some for both of us.

"I can't help but feel like, I don't know, maybe he'd be happier without me," I confessed, joining him at the table when he motioned for me to, to stare down into my tea. "I'm not willing to give him what he wants— full control."

"What Jo want?" Kooky reached over and tapped my mug. When I didn't immediately answer, his finger slid under my chin and he forced my head up, searching out my gaze. "What Jo want?" he repeated.

He gave me a look when my mouth worked and I stalled answering.

"I want him to love me for me." It was as simple as that.

Releasing my chin, he grunted as he sat up straighter in his seat. "Goot," he grumbled out sharply. "Jo not meant be meek."

"No? And what am I meant to be, fuzzsticles?" I jokingly cooed, trying to lighten the mood.

Grunting, shifting in his seat, he gave me a look. "What Jo s'posed to be." More grunts issued. Oh, he was fucking adorable when he was feeling awkward.

Leaning forward on my elbows, setting my chin atop my folded hands, I widened my eyes and lifted my eyebrows. "And that would be?"

Leaning towards me like he had something important to divulge, he bent his head, met my gaze head on, and rumbled out as he reached out to flick the tip of my nose with his index finger, "Spicy."

Understanding just how Rek feels when I flick his snoot, I grinned even as I jerked back and cupped my hand over my nose instinctively.

Kooky grinned as he settled back.

"There is something I've been curious about…" Running my finger along the rim of my mug, peering down into my tea, I glanced his way through the corner of my eye.

Grunting, he sat back and gestured for me to continue.

"Is your name really Kooky? It's just a feeling, but Rek always says I'm kooky whenever I mention you."

"Rek jealous. Green eyes, as Rothy say." Tapping the side of one of his smoky blue-grey peepers, his lips twitched.

"Do you think I'm stupid for still holding out hope for Rek, Gopher, Fuck and Run, and to a growing but currently small extent, Bum-bum?" Just putting it all out there, I held my breath and waited.

"What ‘bout Odix?" he put in curiously.

"Did you fall asleep during all the horrible shit that guy's been put through, all related to me?" My hand slapped to my chest and I patted the spot over my heart. "If he wants anything to do with me after all of that, he deserves sainthood."

"No cookies for joining darkest side?" Lips tipping up, he grinned when I laughed.

Picking up the tea towel on the table, I threw it at his fat head. "You hang out with me too much. I've broken you."

"Broken in," he corrected, making me laugh louder, harder.

Unearthing the cookies we'd made and I'd brought half of with me to my hut, I held them out to him in offering. Kooky paused, chewing on the first of five he'd nabbed up and quickly set out in front of him, gave a loud sniff, then grunted.

Standing, quietly walking to the door with ninja-like stealth, he grabbed the handle and threw the door open so fast, Rek, Odix, and Gopher, in that order, piled up like stackable furballs, came tumbling inside.

Rek grunted, sounding breathless, at the bottom of the pile. Odix's gaze immediately darted my way, paused to stare at the cookie I had pressed to my lips, frozen in place as I stared down at them in surprise.

Gopher groaned from the top of the pile, squinting so he wasn't eye level with Kooky's junk in his face.

"We helps you?" Kooky asked.

Three fluffy heads immediately started to shake vigorously. They all started talking at once. Fingers began pointing as Rek slapped at Odix to get off of him with his free hand.

"‘Kay." Biting into the cookie in his hand, Kooky lifted a foot, shoving off first Gopher, then Odix, like dominoes, to press his foot to Rek's head and send him sliding right out the door, then he slammed it on them, scowling as he turned to return to the table.

"Don't… you know, do anything to them," I huffed out under my breath.

Kooky shrugged and let out a soft chuff as if to say, Fine by me. It's your deal . "That what Jo wants?"

"Yes…?" I mumbled, scrunching my face up until it was stuck in a moue of distaste.

He made a noise that said he'd do as I requested but he'd had other plans. I'd had a feeling. He wasn't the type to idly let what he perceived as a slight go.

Grabbing another cookie, I bit into it, munching on it almost angrily, as if it had wronged me and I wanted revenge, or like I hadn't eaten in a year.

"Nosy," Kooky muttered, shifting in his seat. "Listen whole time."

Gulping audibly, I babbled, "The whole time? Like, the whole time?"

"That what I say. Jes." He nodded sharply.

"Those nosy… stinking… assholes!" Grabbing the empty pot Kooky'd used to boil water, he caught me up before I could rush out the door.

The crazy fool laughed his ass off as he easily held me off and I cursed those sneaks from here to Earth and back again.