11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I lya, The Russian

I heard her gasping for breath as the hotel door latched behind me. My heart hammered in my chest, wounding me as I listened to every sob. It took every ounce of strength I had to walk away. Each step away from that door felt like a bullet piercing my heart. Right foot, fire. When I reached the elevator, I wanted to turn around and run back to her. I’d silently gather her in my arms and beg for forgiveness. This was the deal we’d agreed upon. I told myself I was only following her wishes. Adrik had been right: this was all a clusterfuck.

I approached the bridal suite and breathed a slight sigh of relief that Sergio wasn’t waiting for me. I wasn’t fooling anyone with how attentive I had been to my new wife. This had been a sham wedding, and the marriage wouldn’t be any better. I had promised to protect Irini, and I wouldn’t let her suffer. However, I was banking on her not surviving the next five years. It sounded cruel, but the truth usually was. I wasn’t a good man. Trapping my malenkaya lisichka was the only way to keep her from slipping through my fingers, and she’d agreed to it, knowing full well what lay ahead.

Sliding my door key into the card reader, I waited until the light turned green. The lock slid open, and I walked into the living room, stripping off the tuxedo coat. I didn’t mind wearing a suit, but the coat was too restrictive after what had just happened. Laying it on the chair, I pushed my shirt sleeves up to my elbows, before heading straight for the bar. I poured myself a bourbon, needing to chase away the taste of the woman I wanted before checking on my wife.

My mother hadn’t been capable of taking care of two children, and my father had been Bratva. His life had been more committed to the cause than it had been to his family. Adrik had provided for me, made sure we ate and that I was clean. He’d given me a sense of safety in an uncertain world, and I wanted to provide that for Irini. I stressed she was safe every chance I could, whether that was vocal or in the stability I offered her.

I wasn’t sure if my reinforcements had penetrated the fog, but I didn’t want her scared to be around me. Somewhere deep in her subconscious, it must have worked, because when I had introduced her to the nurse, she hadn’t fought me. I didn’t want Irini to be alone during the days, so I had hired an assistant to keep her company, and a nurse to watch over her at night. Irini had spent a lot of time alone in her sanctuary, and I wanted to help her get used to the idea of having someone around. The night nurse had left after putting her to bed.

Checking on her now, I wanted to make sure she was alright. I opened her bedroom door and watched as her body shook with every breath. There was a low whimper every now and again, and it made my heart hurt for her. She didn’t have any peace, even in sleep.

“You’re alright,” I whispered to her from the door. I wouldn’t enter her personal space for fear that she’d wake. “I won’t let anything happen to you. This I promise.” I didn’t want her to catch my shadow in the doorway, so I slowly backed away and closed the bedroom door.

As I approached the living room again, there was a knock on the hotel door.

Setting my drink down on the table, I grabbed the gun from my shoulder holster. Making sure that I stood away from the peephole, I didn’t bother to check it. An enemy would have no problem shooting out an eye through one, and I wasn’t taking the risk. I had slid the door chain in place when I’d first entered the room, and now I cracked the door open. I’d be able to see a gun if someone tried to shoot. They wouldn’t hit me, and it would give me time to slam their hand in the door.

“Tattoo time, boss.” I wouldn’t escape my crime.

I slid the gun back into place and unlocked the door chain before letting him in. Grabbing my drink, I took off my shoulder holster, leaving it on the chair with my tuxedo coat.

The Bratva take great pride in writing their crimes in tattoos. Originally, it was supposed to scare the opposition, but these days, it was more of an honor than anything else. We weren’t as old world as the Greeks or the Italians, but we preserved our traditions any way we could. I could have denied the ink and proclaimed my innocence to anyone who would listen, but I wasn’t a fool. There wouldn’t be any benefit to lying when Pahkan had the final decision. He already knew the lengths I’d go to, lining his pockets each step of the way. It was easier just to accept my fate. “Where do you want me?” I asked.

“The table’s fine. We’re almost the same height, so I should be able to sit in the other chair. Since the design is pretty intricate, it’ll take most of the night.” Sergio laid his briefcase on the table and prepped the equipment .

Panic set in as I realized my brother had been right. He’d been telling me to be careful the entire time, but I’d rushed in, making uncharacteristic snap decisions. I had gained a reputation for being a meticulous planner, and I was sure there were soldiers watching the situation. They wanted to see me fall from grace, so that they could step into my shoes. I wouldn’t give them that opportunity, but it was a little late now. “When did you come up with the design?” I asked, needing to know how far I’d placed Toula into the line of fire.

“Pahkan ordered it right after I gave you the one on your knuckles. Will you hear an old man out?” he asked, laying a towel on the table to set the inks on.

I laughed, taking a drink from my bourbon. “You’re not an old man.” Sergio’s best years might have been behind him, but he was far from retirement.

“A man knows when he’s past his prime. It’s a little harder to get up every morning when your joints ache.” He snapped the edge of his rubber glove. “I wouldn’t normally offer advice while tattooing. You must know no one’s buying this wedding. Your bride isn’t your intended target. If I had to guess, a certain brunette likely asked for her sister to be protected. I’m not the only who thinks like this, but they won’t openly challenge you. It would be disastrous if they were wrong, so they turn a blind eye. For now.”

“My brother doesn’t,” I said, not sure why I had offered that piece of information.

“Your brother has his own issues, and if he doesn’t silence those demons, they will eat him alive.” Sergio loaded the first ink into the tattoo gun. “Shirt off and sit up. This is going right above your heart.”

Sergio didn’t bother to look at me as I followed his instructions. He sat the gun on the towel, turning towards his briefcase to shuffle through some papers. Laying them out on the table, he looked up at me. “It’s tradition for me to explain the design to you. It’s just us, if you would like me to skip this.”

“No, I wouldn’t want it to get out that you weren’t doing your job.” I smirked at him, and his lips curled up at the corners.

Sergio slid the chair closer to me before he sat down, crossing his leg at the knee. “Your father was the first person I tattooed. He was supposed to burn a rival drug supply. The mission was a success, but as he was leaving the area, someone saw him. It wouldn’t have been a big deal, but he snitched on the other men when they questioned him.”

I finished my drink, waiting for the rest of the story as Sergio appeared lost in the past. His eyes had the glaze of a man who’d seen too much and not by choice.

“Ironically, it was at your mother’s kitchen table. I remember it was late in the evening when I knocked on the door, and when she saw me, she never stopped screeching. Your father didn’t bother saying anything to her. He just sat at the table waiting for me while you ran around in a diaper. Adrik was trying to corral you for bed.”

I didn’t doubt that it had happened, but I had no recollection of the event. My mother had often screeched at the top of her lungs, not being able to cope with anything. Adrik had protected me, and that was probably why I didn’t pull rank when I should have. “My father was a frequent flyer. I can remember him coming home, and he’d always remove his dress shirt, preferring a wife beater underneath. It was a game to figure out if there was anything new.”

“I’ve always wondered if that’s why you and Adrik don’t have that many. Fucked up childhoods will do that to you.” He made a point of scanning my chest, completely bare of ink.

“You and I both know my father was a loyal soldier, but he wasn’t bright.” I didn’t want to analyze the past, but my father had died in the middle of a job. He had blindly followed orders, and in the end, it had cost him his life. When Adrik and I had joined, I swore I wouldn’t live my life the same way. We’d always been on the same team, but when we received orders, we made sure that it was always an easy in, easy out. No one wanted the tattoos as a reminder of their failure. I’d kept that attitude for most of my career. This was the first time I was flying blindly, which was why my brother was throwing a hissy fit.

Sergio shook his head and picked up the stack of papers. “You covet your wife’s sister,” he started, showing me the design. “The Roman numeral six is for lust after the deadly sins. No one actually celebrates them, but I thought it was a nice touch. It’s sitting on a bed of black roses. I don’t think I need to tell you that if this ends badly, you will make the ultimate sacrifice. The barbed wire surrounding the whole thing symbolizes pain and destruction. No matter how you win her, it won’t be without a fight.”

“How large is this going to be?” It was uncanny how accurate the design’s representation was. As long as I didn’t have to look at it all the time, I’d live. I hadn’t failed yet, but I didn’t want to be reminded there was always a possibility.

“Most of the area is above your heart and reaches to your shoulder. Pahkan wants to make sure it’s visible.”

It was more likely he wanted to use me as an example to keep the rest of the men in line. “Let’s just get this over with.” I watched as Sergio drew the first line of the V for the six. Finishing my bourbon, I threw my head back and waited until this was done. I’d earned it, and I wouldn’t make any excuses. This was my crime to bear alone.