Chapter 15

fifteen

DEE

I go a few more weeks without hearing from Russ. I know he’s waiting for me to reach out, and I appreciate that about him. And how I want to, but it doesn’t feel right. Whenever I get the urge, I go on a long walk with Boomer, or find a new, more complicated knitting pattern to try.

But sometimes when I’m up at night with my fresh case of insomnia, I sit in front of the TV, absently stroking my belly, and think about texting him, maybe even asking him to get coffee again. I know he would be up because he works the late shift. He might also be wrist-deep in a C-section.

Boomer crawls up onto the couch and lies down on my legs, his favorite spot. I got him a nice, fluffy bed on the floor, but he barely touches it. Right when I’m about to doze off to an old episode of Contact List , my phone buzzes.

It’s Russ, as if he could read my mind. I eagerly open the message.

How are you and the cub? I hope you don’t mind me checking up, but I don’t want you to feel alone in this.

My eyes well up immediately. They weren’t kidding when they said pregnancy hormones make you emotional, because I also cried like a newborn at the ending to a movie about dinosaurs. But it’s such a sweet gesture that it makes me warm knowing someone is thinking about my emotional health. Robbie’s nice to me, but I wouldn’t call him attentive , and he avoids touching my belly now when we have sex.

I think that Russ would take me and the baby as a package deal.

Thanks for the thought.

I wipe the tears away from my eyes.

It’s nice, actually.

I thought you might need a friend now.

For a moment, I almost wonder if he can see into my living room. Or maybe right into my brain? It’s like he knew exactly when I could use a helping hand.

Yeah, I do. Can’t sleep. When I do sleep, I sleep all day.

There’s a brief pause, and then the three dots appear.

That happens sometimes. Your body is working hard and your rhythms are out of whack. The best thing you can do is not guilt yourself for it.

No advice about things I could do to help me sleep, suggestions which everyone and their mother seems to have. I’ve already tried them all, and none of them have worked.

Instead, he gave me an emotional tool, something I can actually use.

Thank you. That... is really helpful.

I’m glad. Anytime.

I bite my lip, trying to hold myself back from asking him to go out for coffee again. No, if I do that... I have to end it with Robbie, first.

I really appreciate you messaging me. I hope you have a good night.

That’s safe enough. He replies right away.

You, too.

I heart his message, then lie back down on the couch, clutching my phone to my chest.

RUSS

I have been worried about her, seeing how late she keeps her lights on. That’s why I messaged her, knowing she was awake.

Actually, I worry about her endlessly now, more and more every day. It haunts me when I’m asleep, thinking about where she is and what might happen to her while I’m not there to watch over her. It makes the long hours at work agonizing, imagining what dangers she might face out there in the world.

Of course I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish that my kind had marriage bonds the way humans do, instead of this deep, consuming, instinct-level connection that makes me want to rip her boyfriend into tiny shreds, then drag her off to a cave where I can keep her and my cub safe forever.

I’m ragged from so little sleep because I spend most of my off-hours watching over Dee. Her belly gets visibly bigger, and it just makes me hunger for her even more. That’s my young growing in there, and I want nothing more than to be there and help her through it.

Sometimes I come very close to revealing myself, but at this point, that would absolutely ruin any chances I might have with her. It’s much too late to tell her that I’m “Bill,” and I’ve been lying to her this whole time.

That I’m the one who fucked her full of cub until she screamed, and now I want them both in my life, forever.

It’s late one night, my night off from work, when I see shadows shift inside Dee’s apartment. She stands up, rouses Boomer, and leads him away from the sliding glass to the front door. Then she exits the building and comes down the stairs with him clipped to a leash, wearing her pajamas.

She’s going on a walk in the middle of the night ?

I’m crouched in the bushes that take up most of the yard across the street from her house. Often I’m on the roof, but tonight I was unusually tired and didn’t want to make the climb. I might fall and wake the occupants, and then it would be a whole thing.

“I do what I want, Robbie ,” I barely hear her mutter. I wonder if it’s fizzling out between them. Maybe then I could make a move as Russ.

Luckily, instead of heading towards me, Dee takes an immediate left and goes down the street. Good. Boomer, much to my delight and my misfortune, has very keen senses. He can see when I move, even from across the street in the darkness. As a wolfman I have good night vision, but his is impeccable.

I keep a good two blocks behind them as Dee and Boomer navigate toward the park. I’m concerned that she thinks it’s a good idea to go for a stroll in such an open and secluded area in the dead of night, where anyone could lay their hands on her.

I wonder if she does this when I’m not around. That sends a shiver up my spine.

I wait until Dee’s descended into the darkness of the trees before I cross the last street. It will be harder to see her in here without alerting her to my presence—or Boomer. But I need to stay close and keep her within sight.

Eventually she stops, and sits down at a bench near the open, grassy area. She sighs and leans her head back, and Boomer drops his chin on her knee.

I’m glad she has him when I’m not here.

It doesn’t seem like she’s going to move anytime soon, so I go a little closer, just to get a good look at her in the moonlight.

Dee is beautiful. She’s beautiful, and funny, and feels so deeply. I think that loving her could truly be wonderful if I got the chance.

I want to get even nearer, but that would be risky, so I come to a stop here and crouch down. But my foot has landed on a twig, and when I apply my weight to it, it snaps in half.

Boomer leaps up to his feet and barks wildly. Dee squeaks as his leash goes taut and he lunges in my direction.

“Boomer!” she cries out. “What is it?”

Boomer tugs harder on the leash, and fear fills Dee’s eyes.

“What is it, buddy?” she says, voice trembling. “Who’s out there?”

Shit. She’s absolutely terrified. I can’t let her think some creep is in the park, waiting to jump on her.

Well, I guess there’s one creep out here.

“It’s me,” I say in as calm of a voice as I can as I rise to my feet, still hidden in the shadows. “It’s just me, my dear.”

“I know your voice,” Dee says, furrowing her brow. Then her mouth falls open. “Bill? Is that you?”

I take a step forward, and then another, until finally I’m out from under the shadow of the trees. The moonlight skates across my snout, illuminating my face. Boomer sniffs the air, and his barking stops.

Confusion twists Dee’s small features. “Wait, Russ?”

Boomer runs up to me, this time with his tail wagging. He remembers me. I kneel down in front of him to pet his head, hoping to keep myself as unimposing of a figure as possible.

She called me Bill .

“Wh-what are you... what are you doing here?” Dee tugs on Boomer’s leash, urging him to come back to her. “It’s the middle of the night! ”

I swallow hard. Fuck. This is the worst possible way this could have gone.

“I’m sorry,” I say, extending one hand toward her. She flinches back, her blue eyes gigantic. “I’m so sorry for scaring you, Dee.”

She blinks at me when I speak. “Your voice. I thought it was familiar.”

All I can do is nod. “I’m Bill,” I say, before she can beat me to it.

She pulls Boomer closer to her. “And you’ve been Bill all along,” she whispers. “Russ, you knew. The whole time.”

My dirty laundry is out there now, on full display.

“Have you been... following me?” Her words are horrified.

“I had no choice,” I say, hoping, begging that she’ll understand. “When we met at DreamTogether, Dee, something happened. We connected. I know you felt it, too.”

She shudders, and her grip on the leash tightens.

“I felt something,” she admits, turning her head away so she doesn’t have to look me in the eyes.

That buoys me. That gives me hope.

“I’m sorry that I had to follow you,” I say. “But I have to protect you. I have to make sure you and the cub are safe.” She may not understand, but I had no choice. Everything in my world is driving me towards her. She and our cub are the pinnacle of my existence.

“And that’s why you’ve been tailing me?” Dee asks, voice pitching high as she turns back to glare at me. “You’re following me around in a park at night to protect me?” Then, it’s as if she realizes something, the way her mouth falls open. “That’s why you were there, isn’t it? When you saved Boomer? ”

Again, I nod, because there’s no point trying to lie anymore.

“Bill,” she murmurs, as I rise back to my feet. Dee stares up at me as I block out the moon from touching her face. “I never thought I’d see you again, and you... you’ve been here the whole time.”

And then, quite suddenly, tears burst from her eyes. She raises a fist and charges at me, and I stumble back in surprise as she slams it into my chest.

“You fucking psycho!” she wails. “You could have just said, ‘Hey, Dee, remember me? Bill?’ and I would have jumped into your lap!” I catch her arm in my big paw, and she struggles to keep hitting me with it. She’s crying harder now, and I’m worried someone’s going to think I’m assaulting her and send the cops. “Instead, though,” Dee growls, “you had to go and fucking stalk me !”

I’m a fool. A complete idiot. I should never have lied to her when she mentioned DreamTogether. I’d been too afraid of that stupid boyfriend of hers, of how she might turn me away, as if he holds any candle to the mating bond I share with Dee.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I wish I’d told you the truth. But I didn’t want to get in the way of your life.” With my hand wrapped around hers, I tug her closer to me, and she stumbles forward. She’s stopped trying to hit me, at least, but she’s still holding firm against me.

“I would have dropped everything for you,” she says with a hiccup. “This could have all been different. Do you know how much I’ve thought about you? How much I’ve wished you were here?”

I reach out to stroke her cheek and she whimpers, the tears still flowing fast. This must be a shock with how overwhelming her emotions already are .

“I’m here now,” I say, flicking some of her tears away with my thumb claw. Dee’s huge eyes are spiderwebbed with red as she fervently shakes her head. “I’ve always been here, and I always will be.”

But when I say this, her eyes get even bigger. “Every time Boomer barked, that was because of you?” she asks, shaking her head in disbelief, her lips twisting. “You’ve been following me... for months ?”

I nod slowly, not objecting to her raining down judgment on me. I will bear any punishment if it means we can come out on the other side.

“He’s a good dog,” is all I can say to defend myself. “You chose well. I’m glad you have him when I couldn’t be there.”

But Dee’s tears only come faster now. “You should have been there!” she cries. “You could have been there the whole time!”

“It’s not too late.” I curl my hand around her head and gently pull her towards me. At first she resists, but as I simply let her cry, she falls into me, burying her face in my fur and getting it all wet. Despite her objections, though, her hands are already roaming across my body, sliding up my back and tangling in the fur of my mane. Her scent changes, shifting from sour anxiety to a sweet, rampant desire.

I’m elated that I can elicit the same need in her that she does in me. What’s wafting up to my nose is unlike anything in the world, like one cloud in a perfect blue sky. Her smell is blooming, and my body is already answering its siren call. My fingers slide down her back, over the curve of her incredible ass, and her body jolts. I breathe her in, filling my nose with her, licking my lips while I think of everything I’ve wanted to do to her for months.

“I’ve longed for nothing but you,” I murmur in her ear as I draw a hand around her waist, then slide it over her swollen belly. Instinctually, her hips rise into mine, and I cradle where my cub is growing inside her. “My every waking thought has been consumed by you.”

“Me... me too,” she whimpers, pushing my hand down from her belly button toward her flannel pajama pants. “I can’t stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I try.” She’s shivering underneath me, her body responding to mine as I drag one finger over her mound, toward that blistering warm place at the crux of her thighs. That’s where I’m meant to be.

“Stop trying,” I murmur to her, “and let me in.”

In response, Dee presses into me, her pelvis grinding against my hand. Nearby, Boomer lets out a whine. I dip my finger lower, so I’m brushing over the layers of clothing between me and her perfect cunt. Her own hands wind down my hips, on top of my jeans, and she whimpers when I drag the pad of my finger down her seam where it’s hidden underneath her clothes. Instantly, the fabric turns warm, and I can already feel her wetness through it.

“Damn it,” she says, wriggling her hips to gain even more friction against my hand. “Stop teasing me and... and...”

“And what?” I ask, and it comes out a throaty growl. “Should I tear these off, right now?” I tighten my paws, digging my claws into her clothing, and her thighs squeeze around my hand. Under my finger, her sweet pussy pulses faster, hotter.

“Yes!” She’s grinding herself against me, her body telling me exactly what it wants. “Please!”

The wetness is seeping through her pants now, and Dee’s breaths speed up. My cock has already emerged from my sheath inside my jeans, and I’m more than ready to be welcomed into her wet warmth again. Oh, fuck, how I’ve needed her more than anything else .

“Then I’m going to remind you what it feels like to take wolfman cock,” I rasp. I puncture her clothes with one claw and then rip, tearing her pants and underwear apart right down the middle. She squeaks, but before she can move, I’m dragging my knuckle over her clit. A tremor travels through Dee’s small form as I dance across her sensitive, tiny bead, again and again.

“Remind me,” she breathes.

With my other hand, I unzip my own jeans, shoving them down my hips and tail. I’m not going to wait a moment longer. Not that I need to—I find my woman is slick for me already when I taste her soft folds with my knuckle, each petal decorated with fine hair. My eyes roll back in my head at just this sample, and I find the urge to lock my teeth in her shoulder almost overwhelming.

But I need to be careful with her and not get carried away.

With my leaking cock exposed, I press my bare groin to her lower back. She lifts her hips until she’s standing on her toes, fitting my length between her thighs. “I can’t do it anymore,” she says, her voice helpless. “I need you, right now.”

It sends a burst of flame racing through my body, hearing how desperate she is for me. I bend my knees so my cock can slide between her thighs and obediently, Dee spreads her legs. I glide across her wet sex, and it’s quickly driving me to madness.

“Wait.” She’s panting. “I... I want to look at you this time.”

This woman is going to fucking kill me. I snatch her by the hips and turn her towards me, and she tilts her head up to gaze into my face. Her blue eyes are big, and her cheeks are a bright, flushed red, her pink-brown lips parted. I don’t realize I’ve been holding her up off the ground until she lifts her legs and winds them around my hips. I hook both my hands under her ass, and there’s so much hot blood coursing through me that taking on her entire body’s weight feels like nothing.

Now my cock is trapped between us, the pink length of it sprawled across her swelled belly. Just the sight of this evidence of my cub inside her, poking out from under her shirt, makes my balls throb.

Her tongue darts out, licking her lips as she follows my line of sight down to where we’re almost connected. Her face goes slack. “That’s what it looks like,” she whispers, and my lips curl in a self-satisfied smirk. Drool drips from my fangs and lands on her soft, rounded stomach.

“Both of you are mine,” I growl. Dee doesn’t confirm or deny it, but she doesn’t need to. Even if she doesn’t accept it, it’s the truth—no one will ever get between me and my mate ever again.

I can’t wait a second longer. I heft her up easily, so her ankles are hooked over my hips, and the sloped head of my cock is pointing of its own accord at the soaked place between her legs. She shines in the moonlight, red and swollen for me. It takes all of my self-restraint not to simply impale her on my dick. Instead, I push through her outer folds and into the warm cavern waiting there, trying to hold back.

Dee moans immediately and clenches tight, even though I’m barely inside her. I shut my eyes hard, hoping I can move slow enough not to hurt her while all my instincts demand I drown myself in that divine pussy right now . I push deeper, asking for even more, and her pliant little body gives to me.

“Oh, fuck,” she mutters, winding her arms around my neck. I peer down my snout at her, and the unguarded need on her face ignites something in me. I squeeze her ass tighter, my claws sinking into her flesh as my cock slips farther into her. She cries out, but it’s pleasure, not pain, pouring from her soft mouth.

I need her to stay quiet, though, so I lean my head down and my long tongue darts out, tracing the junction of her lips. Dee’s eyes fly wide as I find an opening and invade her mouth the same way my cock is invading her cunt. Her muffled moan drives me even deeper inside her until my knot is teasing at her taut edges. I continue fucking her with my tongue as I pull my slick cock out, nearly leaving her completely. She whines against me, as if even this small distance between us is not acceptable. And it isn’t, not now that I have her in my arms.

I explore even deeper into her mouth as I drive in once more, returning home to her, staking my claim on her. She is mine, and I’ll make sure she knows it for as long as she lives.