Chapter 5

5

Drew: Drinks later?

Orion: I promised my DVR some quality time.

Drew: Do you mean that literally?

Orion: No. I’m not crazy.

Wyatt: Aren’t you in a fight with your microwave?

Orion: That’s different!

Drew: Sure it is.

“…we’d love to attend, but we’re trapped in another dimension.”

I let out a long sigh. Another line through a group of superheroes. Vanguard needed their own dedicated team of heroes. The Protectors? Defenders? My notepad had scratched through almost every name. It appeared as if every notable hero had a prior engagement. This meant our launch party wouldn’t be filled with star-studded saviors. We’d launch either way, but I wanted Arthur to be impressed with the turnout.

I scrolled down the screen, looking at the remaining names to call. They weren’t the most well-known, but if I could get them to show, we’d have a decent turnout. I still had time to make Arthur proud. If I needed to beg, I’d grovel until they agreed.

My watch dinged, and I jumped.

“Quitting time!” Janet shouted as she stomped toward my office. She flung my door open and charged until her palms smacked against my desk. My heart thumped in my chest. “Come on, Wy. My lovable brother isn’t paying for overtime.”

Her curls bounced as she busted into her signature dance moves. The only thing Janet loved more than quitting time was annoying her twin. She had a point. The work would be there tomorrow. I might have better luck while on patrol tonight. I could talk with the fliers one-on-one and beg for them to attend.

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am. When am I ever wrong?”

I bit my tongue. Kiki had explained rhetorical questions, which Janet used all the time. Shutting off my monitor, I grabbed my jacket off the back of the chair and joined Janet. “You have more energy than most humans.”

“Cause I’m more awesome than most humans.”

Janet wrapped her arm around mine and walked down the hallway, dragging me along. We had left the office when she glanced over the railing to the floors below. Her eyes had narrowed, and she had a scowl on her face as she searched for?—

“Have to make sure the harpy is gone.”

“Harpy?”

“You know, ugly creature with razor teeth.”

I had looked it up the last time she mentioned it. I had seen nobody in our building with a bird-like body. Did Synergy have mythical creations hidden behind their frosted windows?

“There.” Janet pointed toward the ground floor.

“Oh. Tia?”

“Harpy,” Janet reiterated.

“I think she’s human.”

“My arch-nemesis.”

“Like the cleaning lady?”

“Exactly.”

“And the barista?”

“He gave me decaf.”

“What about the taco truck?”

“Lied about having hot sauce.”

“Is there anybody you’re not arch nemesises… nemeses…” I’d need to crack open the dictionary when I got home. “Who you don’t want to fight?”

Janet leaned back from the railing, giving me a punch in the arm. Arthur explained she hit people she liked. She also liked to hit people she didn’t like. I only considered her human because of her brother. Otherwise, she defied everything I had ever learned about Earth’s people.

“Be careful, or I’ll add you to my naughty list.”

“Like Santa?” If I closed one eye and leaned to the side, I guess she could be the big, jolly man who showered children with unsolicited gifts.

“Did I tell you I met Santa?”

This is where Arthur would say, “Janet, you’re exhausting.” I thought about it but didn’t dare speak. I didn’t want to make an enemy. If anybody could find my weakness, it’d be her.

Of all the people in the office, Janet offered her unfiltered opinion. Orion sped off into discussions about covert government operations. Drew tried too hard to spare my feelings. Arthur focused so much on the company that I didn’t dare ask him questions. Janet never held back, thrusting her opinion into every conversation. I already regretted asking, but I needed some of that honesty.

“Somebody asked me out for drinks.”

Janet snatched my hand and dragged me toward the elevator. She punched the button before spinning about and giving me the once over. “I can see why somebody would want to climb on this ride.”

My head cocked to the side as I tried to make sense of her comment.

“Who is it? Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Are you going to say yes? Are you going to get naked?”

“I was told it’s bad to get naked in public.”

“Not while having drinks.” She hid her face in her hands, shaking her head. Those curls bounced back and forth as she let out a long sigh. “Do you know how dates work?”

Earth Mom hadn’t explained relationships beyond two people getting married. They liked one another, and they got married. I had heard Arthur talk about dating Ricardo, but he never shared the specifics. They lived together, but whenever I asked about their wedding, he changed the subject.

“What is Kiki teaching you?”

“She’s—”

“Rhetorical,” she said. “Dating is…” She held her chin as her face scrunched up. The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. With a bump of her hip, she knocked me inside. “It’s complicated. You go out, talk, get to know one another. If you’re feeling it?—”

“It?”

“You know, it. ” She pointed at my package. “Down there.”

Oh.

“Then you go home and take off your clothes and get dirty.” Before I could open my mouth, she answered. “Have sex.”

Earth Mom had explained sex using stuffed animals. She had done her best, but it wasn’t until I moved to Vanguard I figured out that it was more than lengthy hugs. Drew explained most humans didn’t discuss their favorite porn in the break room. I didn’t understand why that was wrong, but discussing television shows was okay.

“I’m not sure I want to have drinks with him.”

The doors to the elevator shut, and we descended. I swayed in time to the soft music playing. Other than my chocolate bar, this was my favorite part of the day. An entire room filled with music? Our old elevator never worked. Tomorrow, I might have my lunch here just to hear the violins.

“Have you gone on any dates since coming to Vanguard?”

I shook my head.

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

Zaster made me uncomfortable. I couldn’t tell if the uneasy feeling came from him being a scientist or because he stole my Fudgy bar. Kiki’s homework required me to interact with humans outside the office. I should have taken a zero and avoided him. He wasn’t the man I wanted to spend time with. I couldn’t hide my smile as I thought of Dustin. If I was going to touch somebody, I wanted it to be him.

“You’re an invulnerable heap of muscle.” If she only knew. “I say go out, get some practice. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a good time?”

“What if I don’t?”

“Then you act like it never happened.”

Humans were an odd bunch. Did they really socialize with people they didn’t like? For fun? Kiki wanted me to make friends outside of the office. Maybe those uneasy feelings would go away after we talked?

The door of the elevator opened to the sounds of screams. People in lab coats panicked with their arms in the air as they ran from the entrance. Stepping from the elevator, we waited for the people to vanish.

“This is unexpected,” Janet said. “Want to clobber a bad guy?”

“Not really.” A quick scan of the room revealed three exits other than the front door. It’d only take a few seconds to run to, less if I grabbed Janet by the waist and flew. While I planned our escape, she rolled up her sleeves, determined to enter the fray.

“Let’s open a can of whoop-ass.”

Gosh darn it, today refused to end.