Chapter 2

2

Our video conference entered hour three.

“Then, which button do we click?” asked Artemis.

“Maybe we should stick to how we’ve been doing it for years,” said Dynamo.

In front of me, a dozen holographic screens hung in the air, each with the face of a confused superhero. Several of them clicked buttons faster than I could explain, while others acted as if they could speak to their phones. I feared my inexperience with hero customs would make introducing them to the app difficult. However, if these were Earth’s defenders, I understood why my planet sent me as an emissary.

“I’m sending out a test alert. The red V will appear on your screen.”

I pushed a button on my phone. I listened as each of their phones dinged. Two of the heroes jumped to their feet and dashed off as if there were a villain in the next room. I’d call them back later.

“When you click the button, it’ll show a map of the city and the villain’s location. Click their photo and claim the save. That way, all the heroes won’t gather in one place. If they’re tough, you can click the request assistance button.”

They each grew quiet as they pushed buttons. It shouldn’t have been a complicated task. I spent the first hour showing them how to turn on their cameras and microphones. I understood why Orion refused to train heroes. He’d have stormed off hours ago.

“Can I use this to find a date? Like, another local hero?”

“Gigantica, that’s not what the app is for.”

She shrugged. “That’s not a no.”

I stole Arthur’s technique of letting out a long sigh. Something in the hallway caught my eye. Through the holograms, I watched as a man in a black uniform scoured the floor of the office.

“This goes live this week?”

I nodded at Doc Exotic’s question. “Heroes can use it now. We’ll be launching at the party. You’re all invited guests.”

The supers asked questions about the dress code, but I couldn’t stop staring at the man’s backside. His uniform might have been black, but I couldn’t help but admire how it hugged his hips and made the curves of his ass stand out. I wanted to touch it, but I didn’t want to land in another sexual harassment seminar with Janet.

“Earth to Supreme.”

My attention turned back to the wall of heroes giving me funny looks. Artemis held up her phone. “Tell Secret Identities Incorporated they are doing Zeus’s work, even if they are mere mortals.”

“Tell Arthur I’ll be at the launch,” Riot Girl added. “Make sure he has an open bar.”

One by one, the heroes turned off their screens. I had a clear shot out the door of my office to the gentleman as he got down on his hands and knees. His belly hung down, almost touching the floor, as he inspected a potted plant. I couldn’t figure out the Earth custom at work here. Did the new building come with carpet inspectors?

He must be a skilled assassin if he got past Janet’s reception desk. “Oh, no.” What if he had subdued her and was now lying in wait for the boss? Where were Drew and Orion? Maybe they’d get to the intruder. If I waited in my office, Orion could blast him with one of those gloves he’s always tinkering with.

“Best to wait.” I’d remain vigilant, even if I didn’t get involved. I got behind my desk, dropping into a crouch so I could watch without being seen. If he crawled into my office, I’d get the jump on him… or jump out the window. I’d decide when the time?—

“Squeak.”

Three more squeaks followed. I didn’t want to take my eyes off the intruder. If I looked away, he might try to surprise me. When the high-pitched noise continued, I turned about, searching for the source. Did that sound have anything to do with the man on his hands and knees? Were we under attack by fairies? It had been a month since?—

“Oh.”

Sitting at eye level on my desk, I spotted the source of the sound. Two tiny, soulless eyes lead to a pointy nose with whiskers. I held up my hands, hoping it understood the universal sign of surrender. As I backed away, I rose to my feet, deciding if jumping out the window was worth Arthur’s disapproving glare.

“RUN!” I bolted.

Arthur forbade the use of powers when other people were in the office. I could have flown to safety, but I followed the rules. Running for the door, my shoulders brushed against the frame, and I nearly tripped over my own feet. I turned to see if the vile creature had taken up pursuit. I’d save who I could. There’d be casualties as it asserted its rightful place as the king of the building.

“Ooph.”

I collided with somebody. We tumbled to the floor, limbs flailing. I landed on something soft and squishy. When I opened my eyes, the carpet inspector lay underneath me. I could save him. I could…

Propping up on my elbows, my body draped across his. His eyes were the same color as tree bark. Unlike my bushy beard, he kept his face free of hair except for the faintest stubble. I should drag him to safety, rescuing him from the hell beast, but I could only think about running through the forest.

“Hi,” he said in a strained voice.

“Hi.” I tried offering him a hand to shake, but I couldn’t move without squashing the poor man. I leaned in close and whispered, “There’s a blood-thirsty creature on my desk.”

“His name is Sampson.”

“Sampson will kill us all.” I couldn’t understand how he remained calm when our lives were in jeopardy. “We must flee.”

This beautiful man’s body shook as he laughed. “You crack me up.” He scooted back, wriggling out from under me. Sitting upright, he offered his hand. “I’m Dustin. I work downstairs.”

His eyes had a calming effect, preventing me from running away. “Wyatt.”

“Scared of mice, huh?”

Me? Scared? Not even a little. I wanted to blurt out that I had been ranked Vanguard’s third-strongest hero. Arthur made us promise to protect our secret identities. If it came to feats of strength, I could take a mere mouse. I didn’t want to trade blows. There was a difference.

“You’re a big boy, aren’t you?”

A respectable three hundred pounds last time I weighed myself. Earth Mom used to say my heft came from my alien genes and a healthy love of chocolate. I should get up and help him to his feet. It’d be the polite thing to do, but… I didn’t want to do that, either. The way his right lip stretched upward kept me in place.

“Mouse!”

With no effort, he pushed me to the side as he chased the tiny critter into the reception area. I couldn’t let Dustin go alone, not when his life might be in jeopardy. Hopping to my feet, I dashed down the hallway. I wouldn’t let him fall victim to a pointy nose and sharp teeth.

I rounded the corner and froze in my tracks. Janet had her hands cupped. In the center of her palm, the nefarious creature glared at her while it spoke in its native tongue. Arthur claimed his sister didn’t have powers, but after six months of working together, I had my doubts. I was nearly invulnerable, and when she smacked my ass, it left a print.

“Sampson, come here, you little bastard.”

Dustin held out a hand, unfazed by the fuzzy ball of doom. When he reached into his breast pocket and produced a crumble of cheese, the mouse leaped from her hands to his. From the way they handled the creature, I might have overreacted.

“Sampson escaped the lab.”

I tensed. “Bad word.”

“Escaped?” Dustin asked.

“L-A-B,” Janet whispered. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me. “He’s against the inhumane treatment of animals.” I raised an eyebrow. She nodded at Dustin. Oh. This is one of those secret identity things. She told a white lie to prevent somebody from learning about my alter ego.

“Yes. I love animals.”

Dustin put the mouse in his breast pocket. It turned about until only its head popped out. “Sampson’s a good boy, a little too smart for the scientists. He likes to play hide and seek at Synergy. I guess that’s his superpower.” Arthur’s boyfriend owned Synergy. They were pro-super, but because of their research into recreating and acquiring superpowers, we maintained our secret identities.

The burly man stepped closer, puffing out his chest. “Sampson’s friendly. Want to pet him?”

I reached out, waiting for the beast to draw blood. I peeked through clenched eyes as I stroked the spot between its ears. A moment later, its little hands clutched my finger. It rubbed its face against my skin. My face turned red from the overreaction.

“I feel foolish,” I said. The hell beast wasn’t all that scary. He squeaked as he wiggled his head out Dustin’s pocket, sniffing the air.

“I feel like a third—fourth wheel.” Janet wandered behind the reception desk. I cringed as she opened a bag of potato chips, watching us. Didn’t she have work to do?

“I should head back to the la— Synergy.”

Dustin held out his hand for a proper handshake. I gave him a firm grip. Three rounds of up and down like Earth Mom taught me. I didn’t want to let go. Instead, I wanted to stare into those brown eyes and think about the forest.

“I hope to see you around.”

“Me, too. See you, I mean.” He must think I’m an idiot. “I hope to see you around, too.”

Dustin headed to the front door, and I couldn’t help but watch his backside as he left. His uniform hid his muscles, but they must be there beneath the soft padding. He had pushed me aside without so much as a grunt. I didn’t quite know why, but my face turned red and my lips dried.

“Somebody’s jonesing for some beefcake.” Janet continued snacking as she shot me a smile. “I wouldn’t mind handling that man’s pistol.”

Janet was the easiest in the office to understand. Drew had explained the art of innuendo. The way she whistled, I think I spotted one. The loud woman wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure I understood what she meant by pistol, but I had a guess. Something about Dustin had me undressing him with my eyes.

“Pew. Pew. Pew,” Janet said.

Humans. I barely understood them. Maybe I could ask Dustin for advice? Right after I touched his butt, of course.

“It’s break time.” I pushed my keyboard away. I had been trapped at my desk all day. It shouldn’t be this hard to teach heroes how to use an app on their phones. Thankfully, they had stopped teleporting into my office with questions.

I licked my lips, excited for a few minutes to myself. Eyeing my bottom right drawer, I could almost smell the sweet, creamy goodness. It taunted me all day, but I had been strong. Now, it was time to let my cravings take control.

Pulling open the drawer, I froze. “Where’d you go?” I ripped the drawer out of the desk, shaking it about. “No.” Panic set in. Could it have been Sampson? No, Janet? She’d have left a note. I had one bar of chocolate set aside for this very moment, and somebody robbed me. I debated using the HeroApp? to call for reinforcements.

“You can’t do that, Wyatt. Arthur said no more using it for candy delivery.”

I set the drawer on my desk. While it might be empty, the lobby downstairs had vending machines. With a quick glance at my watch, I called it quits for the day. There would be more heroes requiring training, but this one needed his fix. Nobody liked a hangry Wyatt.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and jumped up to grab my jacket off the coat rack. Half out the door, I remembered the most crucial part of my disguise. My glasses sat on my desk, ready in case a civilian came knocking. Putting them on, I slid the frames up my nose. With a quick check in the mirror, I looked the part of a mild-mannered office worker.

“Now for chocolate.”

The hallway was quieter than I expected. Both Drew and Orion had already left for the day. If they were gone, Janet would have bailed as well. The only person left in the office was the boss. Arthur stayed until all hours of the night working toward the HeroApp? launch. Orion had a theory that Arthur stayed for late-night encounters with Ricardo.

Turning into the reception area, Janet had posted her usual “Gone home. Bother somebody else” sign. Despite today being our first day in the new office, she had already decorated her desk with dozens of troll dolls. As I sped by, their long locks of colorful hair swooshed back and forth.

I waited for the elevator, tapping my foot as I checked my watch. I could have flown out the window and been to the vending machine in the time it took for the ding and opening doors. As part of my employment with Secret Identities Incorporated, Arthur insisted I see a superhero life coach. Kiki gave me a lengthy list of rules, the top one being, “No random acts of supering for the sake of chocolate.”

“Dumb rules.” I poked at the ground-floor button.

I had made it this long without being discovered. Earth Mom prepared me for a life with humans. Finding me in a crater in the woods, she took me in and taught me their ways. For the first few months she had to tie my ankle to the bed at night so I wouldn’t fly away in my sleep. I can still see her shaking her head as I chopped wood with my bare hands.

“I need to call Earth Mom.” Mental note made. She’d laugh when I told her about the furry creature invading my office. She was the bravest person I knew, and not even a beast from hell would shake her confidence. What would she say about Dustin? I bet she’d like him.

As I thought about the beefy security guard, I hoped I’d bump into him in the lobby. We could shake hands again, and I’d stare into those eyes. The more I thought about him, the more my pants tightened. In the back of my head, I thought about staring at him without his uniform. Then I could?—

Ding.

The elevator door opened, and I had a view of the vending machines on the far wall. I missed the old building and the way the ceiling sagged, creating cracks in the drywall. It might not have been nice , but it had character. Synergy’s new building with glass and white walls felt sterile, reminding me of when they found me in the wild.

“Chocolate. Chocolate will make it better.”

I rushed over to the vending machine to see it had been picked clean. One bar remained nestled behind the silver coil. I pulled out my wallet and ran a dollar between my fingers, flattening the paper. Carefully, I fed it in. B2. I punched the code and waited for it to fall.

My mouth watered. I could almost taste the?—

“No!”

The candy had fallen forward, pinning it between the glass and the coil. It hung in purgatory, paid for, but still not in my mouth. I could shatter the glass and be gone before anybody noticed. When Arthur questioned the vandalism, I’d say it had been a matter of life and death.

I reached around the machine and lifted it just enough to give it a quick shake. Face pressed against the glass, I nearly cried victory as the candy fell to the bottom. Without haste, I set it down, reaching inside and grabbing the bar. Holding it under my nose, I inhaled its sugary goodness, my mouth already salivating.

I unwrapped the plastic, exposing six of the twelve squares. I’d lie and say I’d have one or two and save the rest for later. Later would come in seconds, and I’d devour the rest.

“So that’s what has you excited?”

I wanted to swat at whoever interrupted my forbidden love affair. It’d be rude to run away. Earth Mom ensured I learned my manners. Turning, I found a man with a white jacket that nearly touched the ground. He had glasses similar to mine, sitting atop a hawkish nose. His chin was almost as pointy, partially hidden behind a ragged, unkempt beard.

“Hi,” I said.

“I’ve been observing you. You’re one of the secret identity guys?”

My back straightened. How did this man know about my alter ego? Had Arthur revealed it to his boyfriend during pillow talk, and he relayed it to his employees? When in doubt, deny the truth.

“Uhm. I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re not from Synergy. I heard Mr. Coven had some brutes working for him.” Oh, he meant Secret Identities Incorporated. He eyed the vending machine before inspecting my hand. Had I given away my identity in a moment of chocolaty weakness?

“I’m the head of recruitment for the HeroApp.”

“Everybody in the lab—” I cringed. “—calls me Zaster.”

He reached out and plucked off the top three squares. Tossing them into his mouth, I refrained from smacking him. A careless strike, and I’d launch him across Vanguard. I pulled back, ensuring he couldn’t reach for any more. He moved from strange to questionably diabolical.

“I’m Wyatt.”

His eyes traveled up and down my body as if he were studying me. I didn’t like labs, but not because of the silver operating tables or trays filled with scary tools. No, my fear of labs had everything to do with the men who filled them. When he gave a toothy smile, I wanted to yell for an adult. Where was Janet and her baseball bat?

“How are things going on the fourth floor?”

Arthur had coached each of us on how to talk about our project. Publicly, we developed a phone app that alerts citizens of Vanguard about threats from villains. He hoped to save lives by giving them the ability to steer clear of supers slugging one another. In secret, we worked to give heroes the ability to track villain activity.

“We’re having a fancy party.”

Zaster’s head tilted as if he didn’t understand the statement. His lips puckered to one side as he thought about the statement. “You’re an odd man.”

Rude. “I assure you, I’m a normal man.” He’d never suspect my extracurricular activities.

“I’ll be at your fancy party. Ricardo invited everybody in the lab.” I refrained from cringing this time. “Will I see you there?”

I nodded. “I like any excuse to get dressed up.”

He eyed the chocolate again, and I turned, protecting it against my chest. I could feel it turning squishy in the wrapper.

“It’s like you’re from another planet.”

I froze. Scientists were smart, even if they were cruel. I couldn’t tell if he was being rude or if he suspected my origins. I bit my tongue, waiting for Zaster’s next statement.

With a deft hand, he snatched another block of chocolate. “Thanks.” He tossed it in his mouth before turning around and walking away. Rude, definitely rude. I had escaped being discovered by an Earthling. Worse yet, one of the white coats had stolen a third of my confectionary treat.

“So rude,” I mumbled.

If I closed my eyes, I heard the rustle of trees. I never imagined coming to the city would include non-stop noise. Between the cars zipping toward their destination or the construction downtown, it was impossible to make out the cries of citizens in need.

Every night, heroes hovered above the city, looking for opportunities to do good. It’s easy when a villain blows up a building or demons come stomping from the underworld. Not all rescues involved escapees from the home for the criminally insane. I preferred the one-to-one saves. I enjoyed talking to people and making them smile.

“Boss is a genius.”

For those of us without super hearing or x-ray vision, finding opportunities required patience. With the HeroApp?, anybody in Vanguard could request help. Heroes wouldn’t have to rely on patrolling. I’d be able to swoop down and…

“And what?”

The Beacon had rated me the third-strongest hero in Vanguard, but the magazine pointed out I had one of the lowest save rates. In the distance, I spotted several fliers falling out of the sky, heading toward a fire in the distance. I wanted to join them, to fulfill my purpose and be the protector Vanguard needed.

“Be their protector, but always be careful. Your greatest weakness will be…”

I had mumbled the phrase a thousand times, eyes clenched as I tried to recall my birth father’s last words. I could see the glint of sunlight reflecting where his hair had all but vanished. Even his smile had burned into my memory, but each time, his voice trailed off. I had yet to discover this weakness. Not knowing made me hesitate instead of rushing into danger and protecting Vanguard.

“I’m not a protector,” I whispered. Third strongest, and barely able to call myself a hero. I doubted my father or my Earth Mom would be thrilled to know they raised a man scared of his own shadow. Then again, what if my shadow was my weakness, and it’d leave me a vulnerable mess?

I let my shoulders slump, chin hanging down. The other heroes were doing their jobs. They didn’t need me cowering in the background. Maybe tomorrow I’d remember what he said, or as Janet put it, “sack up.” I’d never understand her colorful expressions. How would a sack make me braver?

I drifted back and forth as the breeze picked up. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Earthlings relying on their feet for transportation. Only those with powers could will themselves into the air. I forced myself still, unmoving despite the whipping winds. I might look like a human, but I didn’t experience the world like them.

Descending from the clouds, the noise of the city streets grew into a dull roar. I’d spend another night on the couch, watching infomercials. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend my nights, but what else could I do unless I wanted to risk?—

“Help!”

I paused, hovering just above the bridge leading into Vanguard. Cars had backed up, creating a traffic jam. No bad guys shooting lasers. I waited, expecting a man in a dark suit and cape to come tearing down the street. I followed the line of cars and found the problem.

“Oh, this I can do.”

I pushed off, flying downward. When I reached the pavement along the bridge, I pulled up, speeding between cars. It wasn’t the most heroic act of the night. Saving a man plummeting off a bridge wouldn’t land me in the papers. It didn’t matter. One human saved was just as good as saving the planet.

“I’m coming.”

The car had turned sideways, teetering on the edge of the bridge. It rocked back and forth with the driver, banging against the glass. There were no villains lurking in the shadows, no cars ready to explode. Scanning the bridge, I couldn’t find anything that might cause me harm. What if it was an elaborate trap, and he had a death ray? I shook the thought from my head. No, this was just a normal human about to fall to his death.

Confident I wasn’t in peril, I picked up the pace. It’d be close, but I could save him. I barrel-rolled around a minivan and waved at the children inside as I passed. The car had tipped to where it’d only be seconds until?—

“I’ve got you, Earth… human.”

My foot touched down, and I skidded along the sidewalk, kicking up asphalt. I reached for the door, fingers digging into the metal. With a quick jerk, it screeched as it tore free. I ripped off his seatbelt and grabbed the man by the shirt.

“You’re safe.”

He leaned against a lamppost, his chest heaving from panic. Placing my hands on my hips, I pushed out my chest, trying to look the role. His eyes were focused on his feet, buckled over, catching his breath. I waited, wanting to make sure he got a good look at his protector.

The car rocked one last time before a groan filled the bridge, and it slid over the edge. The man leaned to the side, looking past me. His mouth gaped open, highlighting his pointy chin.

“You’re safe,” I repeated.

“I know,” he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job…” He pushed off the lamppost, eyeing the spot where his car had been moments before. “But couldn’t you have pulled my car to safety?”

I didn’t drop my fists from my waist as I shuffled in a circle. I had torn the door off to save the human, not thinking about the car. Cars didn’t need saving; humans did. Why did he care about a ton of metal? I could have done it his way, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as gratifying.

“But… you’re safe.”

“I mean, thanks. I appreciate not dying. But it’d have been easier.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re strong.”

“I am.” I puffed my chest out more to emphasize his point.

“Pick up the car and put it on the road.”

“But the car didn’t need saving.”

“My insurance agent will disagree.”

“You have an agent ensuring your safety?”

“Insure, not ensure.”

I blinked, confused. He didn’t need to say it. I read the disappointment on his face as he peered over the ledge. My moment of victory deflated, and I wanted to kick myself for missing the obvious solution. It might go down in the newspapers as a rescue, but it didn’t give me warm fuzzy feelings.

He stepped back from the bent metal guardrail and gave me a pat on the chest. “I owe you my life.”

I feigned a smile. My heart jumped enough that I fought back a whimper. He’d get to go home to his family tonight and put his children to bed. It might not?—

“You’d be amazed at how often stuff like this happens to me.” My eyebrow shot up at the remark. “Last week, I crashed into one of those big trucks carrying oil. Surprised I survived.”

“How did?—”

“Before that, I got kidnapped by some goons in a van.”

“Sir—”

“That army of undead? That only happened cause I read this old book out loud. Who knew Latin was so dangerous?”

My jaw dropped. Drew and Orion talked about victimitis. I thought they made it up to tease me. These people, no matter where they went, found themselves in peril. At every turn, the universe tried to kill them, and yet, somehow, they walked away unscathed. Vanguardians were still picking up bones in the streets from the failed skeleton invasion.

“Good, Sir?—”

“Bob.”

“Good, Bob. Remain indoors.”

“But—”

“For your safety.” My toes left the sidewalk, drifting into the air. “And for the safety of all Vanguard.”

Bob ran his hands through his hair, his lip raised to one side as he considered my suggestion. Before he replied, I launched upward. It hadn’t been the best save, but I considered it a win. Not because Bob survived plummeting into the river and dying, but because I told him to stay inside his house. All of Vanguard benefitted from that nugget of wisdom.

I reached over my shoulder and gave myself a tap on the back. “Good job, Wyatt Supreme.”

I tugged at my spandex, trying to give my package some much-needed space. Skin-tight clothing came at a cost. The costume might look impressive, but I’d much rather be in a pair of fuzzy pants on the couch.

With a save under my belt, I called it a night and returned home.

“To victory,” I shouted, zipping toward my apartment.