Chapter 13

13

“It’s been forty-eight hours,” Arthur said. “I think it’s time to assess the damage.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose, something he did whenever his stress reached critical levels. “Everything about that launch went wrong.”

“Don’t think about it like that, boss.” Drew refused to let Arthur be pessimistic. He’d do his darnedest to cheer him up. “You looked rather dapper.”

“We barely started. The heroes go off to save the city. That makes it look like they can be duped by the app. Then Titan storms in with a grudge. So much insurance paperwork. The building isn’t a month old!”

“When you put it like that…” Drew shrunk back in his chair.

“They’re trying to keep you down,” Orion said.

“Who?” I asked.

“Them.”

“Them who?”

“ Them .”

“Glad my invite got lost.” Janet walked in, eyes narrow as if lasers might shoot her brother. “Instead, I was elbow deep in all-you-can-eat wings at the Cockpit.”

“Everything about that sentence is wrong,” Arthur said. “You didn’t miss out on much. Mostly, my hopes and dreams going down the drain.”

“Boss, have you looked online?” Orion’s eyes flashed blue. His shoulders straightened, his lips mumbling a second before our phones all vibrated.

Drew was the first to gasp as he scanned the screen. “Heroic work deserves our attention. The heroes of Vanguard stand behind Secret Identities Incorporated and the HeroApp?.”

“Vanguard’s heroes unite.” Arthur’s jaw dropped. “We’ve had over two hundred registrations since the launch. What’s going on?”

A news article flashed across my phone. “Mr. Supreme leads the charge for a new era of heroing.” I bit my lower lip, trying to hide my grin. “Oh look, there are pictures.”

“Over three hundred headlines. Seventy-six made the front page. The mayor is declaring his support for it on the news tonight. There’s also a few articles in the gossip columns about Janet.”

“Those vicious bitches.”

“They think you might be Mr. Supreme.”

“Wyatt…” She battered her eyelashes.

I shook my head. “You’re not putting on my uniform again. I still can’t get the chest to lay flat.”

She reached into the collar of her shirt, giving each of her breasts a quick lift. “These girls are fighting crime in their own way—lure them in and smother.” Arthur shielded his eyes as she shook her chest back and forth. When she caught me stealing a peek, she pointed to her eyes. “You’ve already fallen into their trap.”

She flicked Arthur behind the ear as she moved to the counter with the coffeepot. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but Janet and her ladies scared me. That’s a battle I never wanted to fight.

Orion’s eyes hadn’t dimmed. “I’m not finding anything to worry about. Just the usual chloride in the water. A few villains on the dark web are trying to acquire planet-destroying technology. Everything about the HeroApp? is… good.”

Arthur’s shoulders relaxed as he massaged his neck. “That’s good, I guess? Maybe Titan showing up wasn’t a bad thing? I guess I’ll call that disaster a success?”

“I had a good time!” All eyes turned to me. Obviously, it’s not the right time to admit to a glorious two days. Where did I start? Discord? Dustin? Discord being Dustin? I crossed my arms, refusing to back down. “Well, I did.”

Janet slid her phone in front of me while she sipped coffee from her ‘World’s Best Employee’ mug. “Could it have anything to do with that sexy hunk of hero by your side?”

The people in the audience had taken hundreds of photos of us fighting Titan. As I scrolled through them, I couldn’t help but smile. It ended with the two of us hovering over a fallen bad guy. Janet swiped her phone before I could scroll through it a second time.

“Mr. Wyatt Supreme.” Janet leaned back, inspecting me as if she might attack. Inch-by-inch, she grew closer, taking a deep inhale. “Is somebody shagging on the job? You and Mr. Beef went back to your place to play ‘hide the weasel?’”

I had so many questions. Her words might not make sense, but the inquisitive glances from the rest of the table suggested their meaning. Even Orion leaned forward, his eyes returning to normal.

“Confess, or I scan security footage.” He would. Did we have the curtains drawn when Dustin straddled my lap? Orion could have had drones spying on me. I needed to reconsider my list of friends.

“Discord and I have a professional relationship.”

“Something smells fishy,” Orion said.

Drew reached out, clasping my wrist. “You don’t have to share anything you don’t want?—”

“I had sex!”

Drew froze for a moment before leaping over the table and wrapping his arms around my neck. Janet held her fist out, waiting until I bumped knuckles with her. “That’s my boy. Did you wreck him? Wait, did he wreck you? Tell me all the salacious details. Hung? Power top? Greedy?—”

“Janet!” Arthur got up from the table. He had reached his shenanigans quota, and there would be words. “I need to have a meeting with Human Resources.”

“Didn’t you hear? I’m now the Chief Purpose Officer.”

“You don’t even know what that is!” He took her by the hand, guiding her to the door.

“Like you do?”

“Not the point.” He gave her a shove through the doorway. Before exiting, he shot me a wink and gave me a thumbs-up. It was the same smile he had when he talked about Ricardo. I knew they were in love, but for the first time, I thought I understood that goofy expression. “Find what makes you happy, Wyatt.”

Drew waited until Janet’s yelling vanished down the hallway. He hadn’t pulled himself off the table. “Is it him?” He had one hand up to his mouth as he whispered. The other pointed down.

I glanced under the table. Why would Dustin be under?—

“It’s Dustin.”

“How’d you?—”

“The printer saw you on top of him the other day. The vending machine in the lobby caught you sharing chocolate with him.”

Drew’s eyes widened. “You really do like him.” He rested his chin on his hands, batting his eyelashes at me. “I’m happy for you, big guy.”

“Thanks.”

I thought about telling them about leaping from the spandex closet and confessing my identity to Dustin. I trusted he wouldn’t tell, but I didn’t know how either of them would react.

“So…” Drew’s words trailed off.

“So?”

“ So… ”

I raised an eyebrow.

“He wants the details of your sexual encounter,” Orion said in a flat tone. Drew’s eyes waggled. That didn’t surprise me. Orion pulled his chair closer to the table, giving me a quizzical look on the other hand… “What I want is to make sure he’s treating you like a gentleman.”

Was this another of those Earth customs I hadn’t heard about? Was I expected to share the intimate details about my evening with Dustin? The way he laughed when I misunderstood or how he made me feel like I belonged, those were feelings I wanted locked away. Those were for me, but the rest I’d gladly share with these two.

“I liked his penis. A lot.”

Drew let out a slight squeal. “Keep going…”

Dustin: Team-up.

Wyatt: Team-up!

Wyatt: I mean, sure.

Wyatt: Sure, to a team-up.

Wyatt: And seeing you.

Wyatt: I got excited.

Dustin: I’ve been excited all day.

I hung in the sky above work. From up here, it was impossible to see the damage caused by Titan. I had thrown on the suit and rushed to the police after work. The bad guy hadn’t given up his employer. Orion remained convinced that it all somehow tied into a conspiracy. Usually, I laughed at his foolish, obsessive behavior, but this time, maybe he had a point?

“Sorry, I’m late. We’re training a new guy, and I had to show him the ropes.”

“New guy?”

“Ricardo wants more security in the building after Titan. The new kid has spunk. I think he’ll do a good job.”

“He’s learning from the bravest man I know.”

Even with his mask covering his face, I saw he blushed. He moved in close enough for a quick peck on the lips. He pulled away before I could grab him by the belt. Good thing. If I had my way, we’d be flying above Vanguard naked.

“Speaking of learning. Think you could show me a thing or two tonight?”

I puffed out my chest and put my hands on my hips. Normally, I’d avoid the dangerous fights. I’d opt to save a kid in the river, or a little old lady stuck on the side of the road. With Dustin? I had not only something to prove, but I found a spark to be bold, daring even. If he could take down a bad guy without his powers, I didn’t have a choice.

“After the other night…” I shot him an exaggerated wink. “I owe you.”

“Do we patrol the streets? Find a building to perch on? Head to Southland and bust in?—”

Reaching into the pouch on my belt, I held up my phone. “I hear there’s a new app for this.” He smacked his forehead, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I hear there’s a sexy man teaching heroes how to use it. Maybe you should make an appointment.”

Before he could respond, the phone vibrated. “Three crimes in progress. Vanguard really needs to up its police pre— Oh, look at this. Sentient tree in the park. Should I claim it?”

“There’s a joke about wood in there.”

Wood, another term for a man’s erection. Janet taught me that. I watched as my icon showed on the app as, “Handling.” Just as fast, the other crimes were claimed by heroes. Arthur would be delighted to see all his hard work had paid off. Hopefully, the people of Vanguard reaped the benefit.

“Keep up.” Without another word, I shot forward.

Dustin did his best to keep up, but I beat him to the water fountain in the middle of the park. I was about to tease him when hundreds of tiny objects struck my back. Looking down, acorns bobbed about in the fountain. When I turned, I found their source.

“That’s a giant tree with a face.”

Discord nodded. “I should have brought a chainsaw.”

The massive oak tree had pulled its roots free and stomped across the park. No longer inanimate, the burrowed holes for eyes had a dark red glow to them. Trees shouldn’t look mean. This one managed. With a few trees following and a bush jumping about like a puppy, this was about to become a problem.

“What do we do first?”

“Always give them a warning.”

I hovered between the contingent of trees and the path leading from the park. I held up my hand. That didn’t work. Maybe they needed directions? “Halt! What’s your—” With a swipe of a branch, another wave of acorns bounced off my chest.

“Next?” Discord stayed by my side, arms folded over his chest. “Is this when we hit them?”

“No, we need to…” I paused. Wait. No. I ran through protocols. We warned them and then we— “Yeah, I guess that’s the next step.”

I snatched Discord’s belt as he tried flying forward. “You’re going to get clobbered.” He glanced over his shoulder, cheeks red. “Teamwork.”

“Fine,” he whined like a moody teen.

I nodded to the right. He gave me two thumbs-up. When I let go, he flew out in a wide arc. I did the same, heading to the left. From two fronts, the small tree army had to divide their attention. I didn’t want to say it out loud, but having a sidekick might not be half bad.

Discord wailed, his sonic scream knocking down one of the tree minions. I flew in, fists out front, and smashed into the second, launching it across the park. By the time the leader spun around, we had already darted out of the way of its flailing branches.

“This is fun,” Discord said. “Beats listening to the bad guy ranting.”

Fun? I had never thought of heroing as fun . I understood why my people sent me to this planet. Protecting Vanguard from legions of evildoers could be a full-time job. It was work, and depending on the night, hard work. Though, as I watched Discord throw phantom punches, a partner made it a little less work-y.

“I’ll lead the charge, distract the brute and feign to the right. Then you take him down.”

“Got it.” Cracking his knuckles, he shot me a curious glance. “What are we going to call our duo? Discord and Mr. Supreme is a mouthful.”

I pushed off, charging toward the oak tree.

“The Supremes?”

“I think that’s taken.”

“Discordians?”

“Sounds like the worst band ever.”

The tree prepared its branches, ready to pile drive into my back. Predictable. I changed directions at the last moment to find another branch waiting. Smashed in the face, I came to a dead halt. As Discord’s screaming started, I grabbed the limb and shoved the tree in his path.

“I will feast on yoooooour nutrients.”

“You talk?”

Its voice came as a loud groan, barely audible over Discord’s powers. The trunk vibrated while acorns and leaves fell from its canopy. When the screeching stopped, I expected it to buckle over and topple.

“You’re chapping my bark,” it growled.

“What now?” Discord shouted.

Our well-executed plan hadn’t panned out. Well, crap. When strategy didn’t win, there was always the standby. “Hit it.”

“What?”

“Make a fist and?—”

The branch slammed into my back. “Goooooood idea.”

From a crater in the ground, I spit out dirt. For a giant piece of firewood, it sure packed a punch. I’d compare bruises tomorrow, but the oak might hit harder than Titan.

Another blast of sound had the tree staggering backward. I was about to slide behind its roots and trip it when something tugged at my boot. The bush had bitten at my ankle and tried pulling me away.

“Go away,” I tried shaking it free. “Shoo.”

It refused to let go. I’d need to talk to the landscapers about the persistent shrub. Discord ducked beneath a swing from the oak. His screech hit the shrub with enough force that it spiraled through the air. Good, I hope it learned its lesson.

“Stop playing with the greenery,” he said.

“Plants will ruuuuuule once more.”

“Shut up,” Discord flew out of reach of another wide swing. “Are we going to finish this?”

“You’re not having fun?”

“I can think of better ways to spend my time with you.”

“Huuuuuuumans talk too much.”

Knowing secret identities meant we had to be careful. We couldn’t let anybody, even a sentient tree, know that we knew one another. It’d jeopardize those around us. It didn’t mean the thought of peeling off that suit and touching him hadn’t crossed my mind.

“We end with a big finale.” Rules. Titan had been a pretty run-of-the-mill fight. It lacked the showmanship expected of heroes. Even though there weren’t people waving cameras about, we had to act as if they recorded our every move.

I jumped into the air and sped off, turning about, facing the rear of the oak. Discord ducked and weaved, slamming his fists into the trunk of the tree. Evenly matched, he didn’t back down, not once retreating for safety. I envied his confidence. For him, I’d muster the courage to see this to the end.

I pushed as hard as I could, determined to save the day. Arm reached out, and I drove into the bottom of the tree, lifting its roots off the ground. The branches smacked against my back, but unable to lean into it, I barely noticed.

Turning about, I threw the oak downward, its canopy driving into the park. For good measure, I came down, and with one, two, three hammer strikes of the fist, I had half-buried the bad guy.

I touched down, watching as its roots kicked in the air, trying to turn itself upright. My uniform was covered in dirt and grass stains. It’d need a serious washing. Half the reason I worked at Secret Identities was to pay for my dry cleaning bill.

“You did it.” Discord gave me a high five.

“There’s no I in team.”

He leaned in close. “After our conversation the other day… how’d it feel?”

Had I been scared? A little. It never entirely vanished. Part of me still worried that my weakness might be trees, pollen, or even grass. With Dustin—Discord—at my side, the worry had turned small, almost non-existent. He didn’t make me braver. He made me want to be braver.

“Like I can conquer the world.”

“Whoa, big guy. Careful saying that out loud. You might get recruited by the Crooks & Criminals union.”

Not only did he do it without an ounce of fear, he kept that perpetual grin. I wanted to pull his mask off and straddle the man, but the sirens were already approaching. Stripping him naked would have to wait until later.

Did I have time to ask him if he wanted to spend the night? Glancing over his shoulder, I chanced it.

“Want to come over later?”

He gave me a pat on the cheek. “Yes, I do. But I have to be up early to train the rookie.”

I gave a slight nod. Not the outcome I wanted. Dustin must have seen my shoulders slump in defeat. “Can I make it up to you?”

I’d take a rain check. “You’ll have to.”

He lifted off the ground, ready to vanish before the cops arrived. “I’ll make it good, Mr. Supreme.” He added a wink. “ Real good.” He turned and bolted into the sky, leaving me to turn over our prisoner.

Darn it. Now my pants were tight.