Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Poppy

It's been two weeks since I no longer have to conceal my wide smiles and blushing cheeks whenever Julian enters my office. Two weeks of him bringing me coffee and breakfast every morning and dates that seem to end too soon.

Two weeks of being Julian Sterling's girlfriend.

The initial week was clouded with my own insecurities and fears. Concerns about how others would perceive me lingered in my mind. Harper advised me not to give a flying damn about what people think. She even went as far as sending me a custom-made shirt that read, ‘I'm fucking my boss, and I like it. Jealous? I know you are.' Julian loved it and couldn't stop laughing. It's because of that shirt that Julian and I took our first selfie together.

That shirt will never leave this apartment, though, because I'm not wired like Harper. I do care about perceptions outside of my apartment, a trait deeply ingrained in me by my last relationship. That relationship was like a mold, crafted over months through false love mixed with manipulative abuse. I wish I could break free from this mold as effortlessly as Andrew moved on, leaving me for another unfortunate girl. I wish I could, and I believe I will one day. With every moment spent with Julian, I feel tiny cracks forming in my mold, gradually turning into fractures. I know, eventually, it will crumble.

I braced myself for judgmental glances and whispers from HR, expecting to feel like a scarlet letter was emblazoned on my chest.

#Imdatingmyboss

#Imthatgirl

But the reality was the opposite. Hannah, the head of HR, was incredibly sweet. She spoke fondly of Julian's mother, saying how proud she would be of Julian, not just for his service to the country but also to his family. Then, she recounted to Julian how much his father missed him. From Julian's curt nods, I sensed he would rather hear these sentiments from his father directly, not through the head of HR.

Our dates have been... comfortable. After everything I've been through, 'comfortable' means the world to me. I don't feel like I'm on the verge of embarrassing Julian with my unfiltered sentences, love of seasonal spices, or pajamas. He doesn't tell me to avoid my friends because he disapproves of them. Instead, most of our dates, usually at his place or mine, have been down-to-earth. We talk about our friends, what's important in our lives, and our future aspirations. We also kiss a lot. And the touch? It's been growing to an unbearable level of losing control. I keep waiting for the moment my mind slams on the break and freaks out. It hasn't yet so sleekly. Every night, Julian comes over to say goodnight, and we push new boundaries.

Like last night…

"Lay down, Pumpkin," he purrs, steering my shoulders back until I'm lying on my bed.

I bite my lip and do as he says. Slowly, he bends down and grabs my ankles, bringing them up to the mattress. His eyes watch me with a mix of lust and caution. I nod for him to continue.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, my breath already labored from his gentle touch.

His hands still hold my ankles like silken ribbons. He raises a brow, and my heart panics as he straddles me.

"Kissing you goodnight," he states with a glint of mischief sparkling in his eyes. His hands inch up from my ankles to my knees, then part my thighs.

"Julian," I gasp, feeling my core flush with wetness.

"I want to taste you, Pumpkin," he says, hesitating, waiting for me to deny him.

I dig my fingers into the sheets, worried over what I'll taste like. I part my lips, waiting for my mind to recall memories and tell him to stop.

No words come.

Julian continues. He begins to kiss my inner thigh. Oh, heavens and earth! He's not even there yet, and I can barely act sane.

"Julian," I moan as his fingers grab my silk pajama shorts and yank them down.

His fingers glide up and run over my pussy. A slow grin of utter satisfaction covers his handsome face. "Look how wet you are for me, Poppy. It must be torture to be so ready to take my cock yet be so empty." He pushes two thick fingers inside of me.

"Julian," My sex squeezes around his fingers, wanting more, even those that feel stretched.

"So tight," he mutters in a lustful haste, more to himself. He begins to work his fingers in and out of my body. I dare to look at him as he sits back on his haunches, grinding his fingers in and out, watching the movements with a focused intensity. The bulge in his pants is impossible to ignore, and I ache to release him from his constraints. His eyes follow mine, a silent promise of the passion to come."Tonight is about you, Pumpkin." He adds his thumb, now slowly beginning to circle my clit.

I'm shaking, literally; my mattress must think Texas is experiencing an earthquake right now.

"Julian," I thrash my head side to side as this powerful feeling builds within my body. "I'm going...I'm...I'm going to die." I moan as he adds more pressure and another finger.

"Relax, Pumpkin. I want you to have sweet dreams." He lowers himself, casting a shadow over his eyes, and then, well, I think I die momentarily. He glides his tongue through my pussy. My back arches, and my head thrashes to the side, burying my red cheeks in my pillow.

Then he closes his lips around my clit, and I'm done.

That was last night, and all I can think about, well, I'm at work, is what tonight will bring. Every night, he says, "Goodnight, Pumpkin. Sweet dreams."

I don't just have sweet dreams; I have the naughtiest dreams I've ever had.

***

Julian

I haven't ventured down into the Bat-cave, as Kent refers to it, otherwise known as the engineering floor. Technically, our engineering team has three floors, but my older brother Theo remains on floor B3. It's in the basement, three floors under, strategically planned that way. Through layers of concrete, our IT monitors all the signals going in and out, an extra layer of security since we design and build weapons that can take out an entire country.

I don't avoid this floor because of the nature of the game. I know what my company makes, and I also know that if a country didn't make weapons, it wouldn't be a country for long. I want world peace as much as the next person, as much as the next mother who sends her son off to war. But I've seen war and witnessed pure evil. It's not going away. There is always a madman who wants it all, and he will do everything to take it. That's why we have to keep making weapons. It's a security blanket.

I avoid this floor because of Theo. Something happened when he left boarding school and went to college. He changed. Fuck, we all did. But knowing what he did to Poppy still crosses a line. A line I want to erase.

I want to be honest with her, but I can't just yet. I can't tell her what Theo did because if I do, she will leave me. I can't have that. The more I see her, the more it pains me not to see her.

The time I have known Poppy amounts to a blip on the radar when compared to my parent's marriage. I don't agree with how my father acted after my mother died. It felt like we lost both parents. However, I am starting to understand the avalanche of grief that caged my dad. If anything happened to Poppy, I would go feral.

Stepping onto the engineering floor, the place feels like a high-stakes tech fortress. Around me, guys are zeroed in on their work, eyes glued to screens hidden behind security filters.

In the midst of all this intense focus, there's an unexpected laid-back corner. A pool table and dart boards are set up where some team members unwind. The sound of pool balls clacking and the occasional whoop from a bullseye cuts through the usual hum of concentrated work. It's a good mix, but I doubt Theo ever takes a break. He's so driven and ruthless. He should have been CEO, but he'd never give up designing his toys for a boardroom.

I didn't want the CEO job, but the perks, mainly seeing Poppy daily, have been surprisingly worth it.

I spot Theo. He's easy to pick out, with his head bent in deep conversation over another guy's desk.

"I need to talk to you," I say, getting straight to the point.

The perk of taking the job neither Theo nor Kent wanted is that they have to save face, which means they have to listen to me since I'm the CEO.

Finally, the middle child gets his payback.

I see Theo's frustration. I admit that his conversation with this engineer looks important. Too bad.It's disruptive to stop people's lives and reset their course, just like he did with Poppy.

Theo leads me into his office, which is clear glass, until he flips a switch, and it turns opaque.

"I'm really busy. I have a deadline which you set," he states.

I look around his office, void of anything personal. The clear walls on the inside have drawings and notes all over them. He sees my eyes wandering over it, grabs a tablet, hits a button, and the drawings are erased.

"What do you need?" he growls. He's still pissed at me for not heeding his warning and staying away from Poppy, then forcing him to out some of his secrets to our uncle.

That's fine. He's about to be more pissed off.

I slowly walk to the glass wall and poke it with my index finger. I'm smart, but this level of tech even makes me blink.

"You're going to tell that puppet master controlling Poppy's future that she and I are together. I'll call him myself if I have to."

Theo snorts, "That won't go over well. He's very protective of her."

I spread open my arms, "I don't see him here. He's a puppeteer. Consider me the ax which is cutting her free."

"Julian," Theo sighs as he sits back in his chair and runs a hand through his short, dark hair. "This is a fling. It was off-limits, which made it more exciting. There is no point in tellinghim when we both know this won't last."

Theo crosses his jean-covered leg and looks at the one item which is personal—a framed family picture our mom made us take for Christmas. She even went as far as getting us all matching PJs for the picture.

"You know the Sterling brothers can't do relationships. Hell, look at Kent, and we both raised him," he stresses. "We fuck around, then move on. Why bring other people into this mess when it's going to be cleaned up soon?"

He actually looks worried about telling his ‘friend' about Poppy and me.

My hand curls into a fist. I want to punch the glass, partly because he's right. The Sterling men are damaged. We have been since our mom died. I used to think like Theo, especially after I was cheated on.

Timing and the person changes everything.

The thought of not being in a relationship with Poppy makes me feel like I took another bullet. I know we are still living the high of the new relationship buzz, but as long as she is faithful and honest with me, I will do everything I can to make her happy.

"It's different," I state as I tug at my tie. I hate wearing it, but I try to look the part sometimes. I miss the weight of my uniform and bulletproof jacket, of my guns, and even the tightness of my boots cutting into my ankle.

All that can be heard is our breathing; each breath he exhales judges me like a jury.

I pull the tie free and shove it into my pocket. "Pick up the phone and call him. Tell him that if he wants to know details about her life, then he needs to get them himself."

Theo closes his eyes. "It's not that easy," He says.

"It's easier to build a bridge than to try and communicate across it," I reply.

Then, I turn around and make my way back to my office.

"I'll call him," Theo shouts. "Hey, Jay,"

I hesitate, my fingers turning the cold door knob.

"You're doing a good job," Theo says.

I look over my shoulder at my older brother sitting behind his desk, being so successful. When Dad sent us off to boarding school, our relationship as brothers shifted. Theo and I had to become Kent's parents. We couldn't be wild and carefree. I miss those days when my brothers and I just hang out like we used to. I miss hearing Mom shout at us not to break anything.

I nod and turn the doorknob to leave. My throat feels thick with emotions. I forcibly swallow them down. Before I exit, I tell him, "I called Dad. You should talk to him too, Theo."

I feel everything happens for a reason. The good and the bad. I got shot, and my career ended, but another one is starting. This time I'm going to make sure my brothers and I are not shouting from a far distance at each other. I'm going to build a bridge so we can walk across it together again.