23. Willow

Willow

We fall into my apartment, a whirlwind of clothes flying everywhere. Ronan has me spun around and pushed up against my door that he somehow managed to close, my leg around his waist before I regain some of my senses.

"Stop," I gasp, pushing at his chest. He immediately complies, still holding me, his chest heaving, but giving me space to breathe. That restraint, thin as it may be, given how I can sense him vibrating with need, is really freaking sexy. "What does this mean?"

"It means we're finally admitting how much we want each other and that staying away was fucking awful."

Tension lines Ronan's body, and I know he's waiting for me to move. All I can do is sag back into his arms. Thank God that's enough. He kisses me again, and I meet him, frantic stroke for frantic stroke. If I'm going to risk everything, I'm damn well going to make it worth it.

But part of me still can't fully let go. Even when his lips wrap around my breast, sucking hard, I can only feel the heat building, but from a distance. Like I'm an observer, not a participant. An observer who's still thinking about what the outcome of our choices tonight might be.

I try to give my head a mental shake. Stop worrying about the what-ifs and focus on the very hot, very determined man in front of me. Maybe a location change will help. Running my fingers through his hair, I move away from the wall and lead him to my bedroom.

But I apparently underestimated his ability to read me.

Ronan tugs me to a stop just inside my bedroom. "What's going on in that beautiful head of yours, Cherry? Do you want to stop?"

"No." I shake my head emphatically. "Of course not. I'm sorry, I'm just… Whatever. Nope, we're good. Continue." I wave my hand in the air with what I hope is my game face.

Yeah, that didn't work.

"Willow."

"Ronan." I fold my arms across my chest, the movement feeling kind of stupid since we're both almost naked.

His hands run up and down my upper arms before pausing on my shoulders. "Talk to me."

The very fact that he can ignore the monster erection tenting his boxers, all to talk me through my overthinking freak-out, is the biggest green flag of all time. Yet, I still can't get out of my head. Knowing he might decide I'm not worth the trouble, I decide to let him into the jumbled mess of my brain right now.

"I don't know what's wrong. I'm sorry," I whisper, and it's no lie. Do I want to fuck him? Hell yes, I do. But can I relax and enjoy it? For some reason, no. Not right now. This isn't like me, not at all. I'm not indecisive about sex, I don't hold back. Then again, I quite honestly can't think of a time when there's been anything more than sex on the table. And with Ronan, there's no way I can deny the possibility of both of us wanting more.

"I don't want to be seen as the girl who's fucking a player on her team. That never ends well, especially not for women who work in professional sports. This could change everything for me, and not in a good way."

To my surprise, Ronan leads me to the bed, sits down on the edge, and pulls me into his lap. I'm seated sideways as he tucks me against his shoulder, his chin on my head, his hands comfortingly stroking my bare skin. There's nothing sexual about his actions, other than the hard cock I can feel underneath me. But it's clear, he's focused on comfort, not arousal.

"I won't pretend to know where you're coming from because I can't possibly imagine what that feels like. But I swear to you, I will do everything I can to never put your job in danger due to us being together. I respect you. Hell, everyone on the Tridents respects you. And if you're worried that would change somehow, then I understand."

He"s putting me fully in control of what happens. Whether that's everything or nothing at all.

"Can we keep it just between us for now? Not tell anyone, I mean?"

His beautiful blue eyes study me for a second before he nods. "Yeah. If that's what you need to feel safe, then that's what we do."

It's as if he instinctively knows that control is what I need to settle my thoughts. And that realization alone is enough to snap me out my overthinking spiral of doom. I seize that control and take full advantage. Maneuvering myself so I'm straddling his thick thighs, I rake my fingers through his hair and cup the back of his head.

"You're going to be one hell of a catch for some lucky woman one day." Something flashes over his face, too fast for me to register. "But right now, I want to be the one getting lucky."

It takes a second, one that feels like it stretches on too long, but then finally his handsome face breaks into a wicked grin. "There's my good girl."

Oof. Nope, not going to think about how my thighs want to clench hearing him say that.

"You like that? Being called a good girl?"

God, am I that obvious? Biting my lip, I nod. His grin grows wider. "Noted." Suddenly, I'm airborne as Ronan stands up, spinning us around before lowering me down to the bed on my back. "Now. Back to the whole naked plan."

My bra is unfastened and thrown over his shoulder one second, my panties pulled down my legs the next. When I take in the look of pure wonder on his face as he runs his hands up my bare legs, my breath catches. He's looking at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Like I'm the sole focus of his attention, the only thing that matters in this moment.

Being the recipient of that intensity is a heady experience.

His lips pepper kisses along my inner thigh as he pushes my legs apart, settling on his stomach with his head hovering right above my damp sex. The warm air from his exhale has my hips undulating when it lands on my already sensitive skin. "Mmm. This pussy is mine tonight."

"Yours," I breathe, nodding rapidly. "Just hurry the fuck up."

I can feel his deep chuckle as he latches his lips on to my clit and sucks, drawing out a breathless exclamation. "Ronan!" My hands find purchase in his wavy hair, gripping the soft strands tightly, holding him right where I'm desperate to have him. His tongue laps and swirls, a loud moan escaping me when I feel the rough pad of his finger brush over the short, damp curls. He slides it through the moisture pooling there, slippery and warm.

"Holy fuck, Ronan." My head starts to thrash back and forth. Then, with no more warning, he plunges his finger into my pussy, curling it over to graze over the spot begging for his attention. Just when I think he's out to torment me, his lips close over my clit at the same second he pushes a second finger in, unerringly finding my G-spot and pressing down. My legs start to shake, squeezing his broad shoulders as my orgasm hurtles through me, unexpected, and yet, a welcome relief from the tension that was threatening to overwhelm me.

"God, yes!" I cry out as my back arches off the bed and I convulse through the spasms of pleasure. Ronan licks me throughout, slowing his motions as he senses me coming down from the release.

He rolls away, and I can't help the whimper that escapes when he's no longer between my legs. But he's back seconds later, tearing open a condom packet. "Wait," I cover his hand with mine. "I want to taste you first."

His eyes widen with anticipation. He lets me push him so that he's the one lying down, and I come to the side of his hips, my hand eagerly wrapping around his cock that's already leaking precum. My thumb swipes through the liquid, and bringing it up to my mouth, I suck it off.

"Fucking hell, Cherry. Put those lips where they belong."

His gruff command sends a wave of mini clenches between my legs. Bending down, I shuffle backward until my head is hovering right above his length. Turning my head to look at him with a saucy wink, I say, "Is this where they belong?"

His only answer is to wrap his hand in my hair and gently guide my head down. Not forcing but making it perfectly clear what he wants. Ronan's perfect balance of command and respect is like nothing I've ever experienced with a man. He's yet again letting me be in control, but also leaving no doubt as to what he wants and expects from me. And the weird part is, in this moment, I want to give him everything.

All of me.

My lips close over the weeping head of his cock, and I suck lightly, my tongue swirling around the tip before I feel his hand pushing lightly. Taking his cue, I swallow him down as far as I can, relishing in the moan it draws from him. Bobbing my head up and down, I use my hands and my mouth to drive him wild, loving how his grip alternates from letting go to stroke my head, murmuring praise, then gathers my hair in a fist as he lets out a deep moan.

"Fuck, I'm close. I'm gonna come down that perfect throat if you don't stop."

His warning does nothing but spur me on as I suck him down faster, my hand squeezing his base as the other reaches between my own legs to try and ease the ache that's building for me.

"Hell no, Cherry." A slap lands on my ass, then fingers dig into the flesh. "That pussy's mine, remember? You don't come unless I make you."

I pop off his dick with a gasp as he somehow levers his upper body to grab my hips and lift me over his face. "Shit!" I squeak as his mouth lands back on my pussy.

"Suck."

One word, mumbled against my throbbing clit. I dive back down, sucking him off as fiercely as I can while he destroys me with his tongue.

My whimpers of pleasure are drowned by his dick, and I feel him start to swell in my mouth as his hips start to rock up into me. He grunts out a warning, and I double down, desperate to feel him let go. Seconds later, warm liquid shoots into my mouth. I swallow every drop as I feel his teeth graze my clit, making a second orgasm rock through me.

Letting his cock slip from my mouth, I suck in a trembling breath, resting my head on his thigh. I could be smothering him for all I know, but he's a big boy. He'll manage.

"Damn," he groans, the word vibrating against my sensitized clit. He kisses my sex once more, then his hands squeeze my ass gently, caressing where he spanked me earlier.

It takes way too much effort to move off him, my limbs feeling heavy with that satisfied, tired feeling that comes from really good orgasms. Once I manage to ungracefully flop onto my back, my feet land somewhere by his head, but I'll be damned if I can make myself move. With my eyes closed, I can't see, but I can sense him move until I feel his body pressed against my side, his hand landing on my chin, tipping it over to the side. Soft lips kiss my own, and I can taste my release on him.

"You with me?" he asks, and I can feel his lips curved up in a smile. "Or is it death by orgasm?"

That makes me giggle, and I blink my eyes open to see his blue ones twinkling back at me. "I'm not done with you yet, mister."

His arms gather me into his embrace, kisses peppering my bare skin. "Good answer." Ronan rolls us so that I'm back on top of him, and I can feel his semihard dick between us. But there's no urgency, no rush, just a contentedness between us as we swap languid, deep, sensual kisses.

When was the last time I just kissed a man? With no agenda to move on to the next thing as quickly as possible, just enjoyed kissing him.

Oh. Seven months ago, in a hotel room overlooking the beach.