Eighteen

Eighteen

Max

Even though our normal monthly lunch isn’t for another three weeks or so, I meet with Juan for breakfast. He just came off his forty-eight-hour shift, so bags line underneath his eyes. But he smiles when he sees me.

As much as I love the lunches when we’re all together, I really like one-on-one time with each of them.

When I sit across from Juan with my coffee and egg sandwich, he frowns.

“You look like crap.”

“Well, you don’t look so great yourself,” I reply, popping the lid off my cup so I can dump some sugar packets into the coffee.

“No, I mean, you look like you’re the one who just had the forty-eight-hour shift.”

I stir the sugar in to buy myself some time. I want to talk to him about what I saw last night, but I’m not sure how much I should tell him. I don’t want to overstep with Jude, but I need some advice.

“I stayed up kind of late thinking about Jude,” I finally say.

A sly smile creeps across his face. “Ah.”

“Not like that.” I shake my head, fighting my own smile. But then I sober. “When I left the office last night, I found him in the alley. Some guy was trying to…hurt him.”

Juan straightens, turning into the firefighter and EMT he is on the job. “Hurt him how?”

I glance around the restaurant even though I know no one’s listening into this. “I think the guy was trying to fuck him. Jude told me at first it was just a mugging, but when I pressed him on it, he kind of admitted it.”

Juan nods, like this is normal breakfast talk. “So what do you need to ask me?”

“I just… He was so strange about it. He talked like it wasn’t a big deal. And not like he was hiding, but like he really didn’t think it was so awful that someone would try that on him. Is that normal?”

“Well, everyone reacts to it differently,” Juan says with a shrug. “It’s possible he just wasn’t that afraid. It’s possible he’s been through something worse that makes everything else not seem too bad. Or that he’s actually been assaulted before. Some people who’ve been through that don’t carry the same fear of it happening again. Or they can go on the opposite side and do nothing but fear it happening again.”

God, I can’t imagine living like that. “But what do you do? I don’t want to say something stupid and upset him.”

Juan smiles a little. “Chances are, Jude will tell you stuff when he’s ready. I know Patrick was pretty open with you, but you guys knew each other when you were kids. You and Jude just met three days ago, right?”

“Yeah.” I turn that over in my head. When he says it like that, it does feel like an overreaction. Jude doesn’t owe me anything. And I’ve told him he can talk to me if he wants. I don’t think there is anything left for me to do.

“Just be kind to him,” Juan says, popping a bite of hashbrown into his mouth. “Most of the time, that’s what people really need.”

***

I spend most of my day in the office. I’ve been blowing off reports and orders with spending time with Jude. I lock the door and only answer if it’s really important. By the time night has started to fall, I’m mostly done.

I lean back in the chair and stretch my arms over my head when there’s a knock on the door.

“It’s me,” Rowan calls from the other side, and I stand to unlock the door.

When Rowan comes in, he has a burger and fries on a tray with a coke.

“Would it be inappropriate as your boss to tell you that I love you?” I ask, taking the food to my desk and mowing through some fries.

“Only if you looked deep in my eyes when you said it,” Rowan deadpans. Then he clears his throat. “Jude told me about the alley last night.”

I stop chewing and glance up at him. “What did he tell you about it?”

“That some guy tried to mug him but ran off when you came out of the office.”

I go back to chewing. I should’ve suspected he wouldn’t tell Rowan the truth. “What about it?”

“Did you get a look at the guy?”

“No. Not really. I didn’t even realize anything was wrong until Jude got closer to me, and I saw his face.”

“Did you tell him to call the police?”

I raise my eyebrows. Rowan’s always been so laidback. I didn’t know he had a mode outside of his gentle one. “No. He didn’t seem to want to.”

“That’s not really your decision.”

“No offense, but it’s not exactly yours either. Jude’s a grown man. He doesn’t need you making decisions for him.”

“You met him three days ago. You don’t know anything about him.” Rowan’s voice is darker than I’ve ever heard it. Colder than I knew it could ever go.

“I think maybe you need to go cool down somewhere,” I say. “I don’t think he’d appreciate this.”

“Max…” He trails off, his jaw clenching.

I sit silently, even though there’s a lot more I want to say. I’m not interested in fighting with Rowan. I don’t have siblings, but I get that he wants to protect Jude. And I understand it.

Finally, Rowan clears his throat. “Did Jude know the guy?”

I frown. “If he did, he didn’t tell me. Why?”

Rowan hesitates before shaking his head. “I just thought he might.”

An uncomfortable silence settles over us, and I wait for Rowan to start showing the signs he always has when he goes a little overboard. But none of them appear. He’s so steadfast in his decision to come in here and bounce me.

Still, I wait him out. If Jude wanted him to know stuff about last night, he would’ve told him. I don’t think it’s my place to talk to Rowan about it behind Jude’s back. Just the thought kind of makes me feel a little sick.

Rowan finally glances up at me. His jaw is still tight when he says, “Thanks for being there for him last night.”

“He didn’t really need me,” I reply.

Rowan watches me for a long second, and I get the feeling he’s trying to read my mind. Then he walks out without another glance.

I let out a sigh and lean back in my desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. I’ve never minded being an only child but seeing how protective Rowan is of Jude almost makes me wish I’d had something like that. Someone to help me navigate. Maybe someone who could help me understand Jude.