Chapter 14

14

GWEN

N ana sits on the couch next to my idle body, but after about ten minutes, she whispers, "Gwen, what happens in 48 hours?"

My chest tightens, and I want to pull my hair out and scream, but I don't have the energy to do so because everything feels so out of reach, so out of control that I want to crawl into a ball and sob.

"In 48 hours, either I get him the one hundred and ninety five thousand dollars, or he wants me to himself," I respond, not daring to look at her because I know her heart is shattering into a million pieces.

"You can't be his."

"I can't get one hundred and ninety five thousand dollars in two days." I finally sit up.

My head feels heavy, and my chest is so tight with the need to cry that I am practically shaking as I look over at Nana, whose eyes glisten with tears, but her lips are in a straight line with a confident look .

"Then you need to run." She slaps both of her thighs with her hands and gets up, walking towards the kitchen. Her statement sends a spark of electricity through me, and I shoot up, trying to follow her quick movements into her bedroom.

"I can't go on the run with two five-year-olds!" I whisper yell, afraid Mia, who is still playing with her Uncle Mason's Barbies, will hear me arguing.

Nana Rose looks over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes at me as she lowers to her knees as if she is about to pray, but instead reaches underneath the bed. She reveals a pink, rosy box I remember from childhood because I couldn't touch it.

"Nana?" I question, cautiously moving forward, but she doesn't respond.

Instead, she whispers to herself as if she is talking herself into whatever she is about to reveal to me. "Nana, you're scaring me."

Taking a deep breath, she begins to speak, "Your grandfather was a terrible man. He was just like Mason, quick-tempered and dangerously possessive."

She opens the box, revealing stacks of neatly bundled cash, along with important paperwork like birth certificates and social security cards and a small, silver revolver.

"Gwen, when I was a young girl, I made the hardest decision of my life, but I did it to protect my family, and it was the smartest thing I have ever done."

Nana places a stack of cash on the floor next to her, and speechlessly, I fall to my knees slightly behind her. My eyes stuck to all the money she had that we could have used over the years. I reach forward to touch the most money I have seen, but she swats my hand away and turns to me, leveling me with a serious glare.

"Gwendolyn, I ran to protect my family, to give them a chance at a better life, and now you must, too," Nana speaks with a certainty I have never possessed, and tears crest in my eyes.

"W-where will we go? Mason will find me if I travel with two kids and they have school and friends. I can't. I can't-"

My breathing comes out in sharp gusts as my chest tightens to the point where I can't breathe. I bend over my knees, trying to control how my lungs burn for oxygen, but the ball in my throat won't let it in.

"Now, you can't run with both Mia and Gio, so I think you need to leave them behind, leave them somewhere safe." I shake my head. The word "no" creeps across my tongue, but I hold it in, shaking the tears out of my eyes.

"You should ask Kelsey to visit her family in California with them. Give her some of this money."

Nana places one of the stacks in my hand, and despite the weight and awe I feel in having so much money in my hand, I drop it to the ground as if it has burned me.

How could she ever ask me to do this? To leave everything I know, to abandon my children, and run with no end in sight. When will they ever be able to come home? When can I ever hold my babies again without fear of revealing their location to Mason? Nana grips my hands in hers, but I can't bring myself to look her in the eye because she would give me that look that would mean this is real and it is something I have to do.

She shakes my hands lightly against her thighs and whispers, "You are strong enough to do this. You are resilient. You can get through anything. Isn't that what I always told you? "

I nod, the tears creating rivers down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. Nana leans in closer, her forehead against mine. "Tell me what we say when we are afraid."

A sob leaves my lips, and I can feel myself quivering as if it is freezing, but I feel ten and afraid of going to school and having my crush call me ugly. I feel like I am small enough to crawl into her lap again, which makes the tears fall even faster. The words come out between gasps of breath, but I repeat the mantra the same way I always have.

"I am brilliantly beautiful, able to withstand dragons and defeat armies because I am the princess that saves herself."

Nana kisses my forehead, whispering, "That's right, baby, and now you have graduated to a queen who defeats the villain and saves her kingdom, but first, you need to get the right army behind you."

Tears blur my vision as I lean into her lips, still pressed against me. "How did you manage it? How could you just run away?"

Nana's face softens, a hint of a sad smile tugging at her lips. "I had help from people who cared about me, just like you have, and I had faith that I would get through this."

I nod, almost believing that I, too, possess this same strength. "This money will get you started in a new location, somewhere where Mason can't find you while you get your bearings and figure out a game plan."

I look at the box's contents, the world seemingly crashing around me. "Where will I go? I don't even know where to start."

"You've always wanted to go to New York, be in the Big Apple with all those lights?" I nod in agreement. "Well, there is the bright side. You can finally go."

The smile in her voice makes me chuckle lightly. "Okay, you call Kelsey, and I will start to get you packed up."

The sweetness in her voice lulls me into action. I head to the kids' room, my mind racing, but the minute I see Mia playing with her dolls, I smile, leaning against the doorframe. Nana walks up behind me with a child-size suitcase, and I realize that if I run, she will be here and vulnerable to Mason's wrath.

"Nana, what about you?"

Nana Rose smiles, her eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and determination. "I'll be fine. I'll tell Mason whatever he needs to hear to buy you more time. But you have to go now because, by morning, he will have so many eyes on you that you won't be able to run."

I lace her hand with mine, squeezing tightly, the tears threatening to spill over again. "Thank you, Nana. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Just keep those babies safe," she whispers, holding me close for a moment longer before pushing me gently away. "And when you go, find a way to come back to me."