4. Annalise

4

ANNALISE

THREE YEARS LATER

I have to admit…it’s been a long time since I’ve had a man try to make a move on me, and it feels kind of good.

I lean forward against the desk and giggle at the man’s feeble attempts to flirt with me. He’s got boyish good looks—tousled brown hair, dimples when he smiles—but he’s not my type. He looks close to my age, and I’ve made the mistake of dating men my age or younger. I’d never do that again. Besides, even if he were older, the last thing I need in my life right now is a boyfriend.

“Come on, Anna,” he tries again. “I know you don’t have a boyfriend.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “And how would you know that? I’m not pretty enough to have a boyfriend?” I’m teasing, but he doesn’t seem to catch on, immediately trying to defend himself.

“No, Anna, you’re gorgeous!” he says quickly, alarms going off in his eyes.

I smile. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you let me take you out? Just one date. If you don’t have fun, I’ll leave you alone, scout’s honor.” He puts two fingers against his forehead which makes me laugh again.

“You were a boy scout?” I don’t think I’ve ever actually met one before.

“Actually, no,” he admits sheepishly. “But, there was a short time when I was a girl scout. The cookies are much better.”

I can’t help but laugh. He’s funny, I give him that, and I could imagine myself being amused the entire time I spent time with him. But, honestly, I have way too many things on my mind to even entertain that idea.

“Come on,” he says. “I’m a nice guy.”

“I think you’re telling the truth.” I shake my head, my long wavy brown hair brushing against my shoulders. “And I appreciate the offer, but I’m just too busy right now.”

“When will you be less busy?”

I shrug. “Maybe never.”

“Then how about your number, at least?” he insists, his hazel eyes pleading.

My eyes lock onto his, and I stand firm, refusing to give in. “Not right now, but if you keep trying, maybe one day I’ll give you a digit or two.” I wink at him while he playfully pretends like I’ve stabbed him in the heart.

As I turn to walk away, he calls after me, “You can’t blame a guy for trying, Anna! I won’t give up!” His words make me laugh. Maybe he would stop trying if he knew my little secret. But that’s something I’m not willing to share with him—or anyone else, for that matter.

A very small number of people know my secret, and I intend to keep it that way. It’s safer like that, especially now that I’m back…

I stride down the hallway until I’m in front of the familiar door. I yank the key from my pocket and unlock the door before pushing it open.

The moment I step inside, I hear the soft pitter-patter of feet as Gina and Franny rush toward me. “Mommy!” they squeal in unison, throwing their little arms around my legs. My heart swells with love as I bend down to scoop them both up, hugging them against my chest.

I’ve never loved anything more than my two little secrets.

“Did you two have fun today?” I ask, my voice full of warmth and affection. I haven’t seen them all day, and I actually missed them desperately.

“Uh-huh!” Gina nods vigorously, her deep blue eyes sparkling with excitement. “Sienna let us paint pictures and make cookies!”

“Paint and make cookies!” I repeat with excitement in my voice, which just makes them even more excited.

“Yes! I like Auntie Sienna.” Franny smiles.

Franny and Gina look almost identical except for their eye color. While Gina has a deep blue, Franny’s eyes are gray and she has a face full of freckles. They’re starting to look more like their dads.

Dads who don’t have a clue that they exist.

“I mean, what’s not to like?” Sienna grins as she emerges from the kitchen while I close the front door.

“Sounds like they had a great day,” I comment. I’d been a bit worried about Sienna watching them because she doesn’t have a lot of childcare experience, but it sounds like everyone had a nice time.

“Speaking of great days,” Sienna says with a playful grin on her face. “Who knew babysitting two adorable little tornadoes could be so…exhilarating?”

Tornadoes is definitely the right word.

“Oh, it’s fun, tell me about it.” The girls start moving in my arms, and I set them down.

“It’s still so hard to believe you’re a mother,” Sienna adds. “But, it suits you so well. You have a real homesteader look.”

I snort, frowning at her. “I can’t keep a garden alive to save my life. I’m happy the girls are more artistic than I am.”

“They’re more artistic than I am too.”

“I’ve seen your stick figures. I’d leave it to them.”

Sienna scrunches her nose up at me and makes a funny face. To say that she isn’t artistic is a bit of an understatement. “Alright, little monsters,” Sienna announces, clapping her hands together. “Why don’t you show your mom the masterpieces you made today?”

“Okay!” Franny exclaims, grabbing her sister’s hand and leading her toward their makeshift art studio in the corner of the living room. Sienna really has been doing everything possible to make this little apartment feel like a home for all of us.

The apartment is nothing special, but I’m grateful for it nonetheless. Sienna didn’t have to let us stay here while I try to save up for our own place, but I love the fact that she’s willing to do anything to help now that I’m back in town.

I look at the girls’ art, smiling as they show me every piece, almost bouncing up and down with excitement.

“Mommy, this is macaroni, and I didn’t even eat it!” Gina calls out, showing me another page which makes me laugh.

“Can we use the cotton balls to make something else?” Franny asks.

“Yes, girls, you can.”

The girls chatter away, their minds jumping from one thing to the other, as they start doing something else with the cotton balls.

I back up to where Sienna is standing. “Sienna,” I begin, “I can’t thank you enough for letting us stay here. And for your support…it means the world to me.” My voice catches slightly with emotion, but I quickly compose myself.

“Hey, what are friends for?” Sienna replies, flashing me a reassuring smile. “Besides, I couldn’t have you and the girls out on the streets now could I?”

“Thankfully, this last job interview went well,” I share, feeling a spark of excitement. “I think I got it, and the pay is wonderful. I’ll just have to find a daycare for the girls to go to.”

“Annalise, that’s fantastic news!” Sienna exclaims, her eyes lighting up with genuine happiness for me. “But don’t rush into finding a daycare for the girls too quickly, okay? I’m still working from home and honestly, I’m more than happy to help out when I can. They’re fun.”

My heart swells with gratitude at her words, and I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. “You’re a lifesaver, Sienna. Thank you.” The knowledge that my daughters will be in good hands brings me a newfound sense of calm.

“Mommy, look!” Gina exclaims, her curls bouncing around her face as she waves a piece of paper triumphantly.

“Me too, Mommy!” Franny chimes in, her own artwork clutched tightly in her tiny hands.

“Let me see,” I say, holding out my arms to receive their masterpieces. The girls proudly hand them over, beaming with pride at their colorful creations. I admire the vibrant swirls and scribbles with the accentuation of the cotton balls that they’ve colored and glued.

“Absolutely beautiful,” I praise, placing their art on the counter for all to see. “Why don’t you two help me make dinner?”

“Yay! We love cooking with Mommy!” they squeal in unison.

“Wash your hands and then you can come into the kitchen.”

“Auntie Sienna will help.” Sienna guides them to the bathroom.

I move to the kitchen and grab their silicone cutting trays along with the knives and forks. They’re strong enough to cut through, but not enough to slice a finger or anything if the girls drop them. I set them up on either side of me, and it doesn’t take long for the girls to come and take their places.

I slice vegetables as my daughters mimic my movements, small fingers gripping plastic knives with determined precision. My heart thrums with happiness at their enthusiasm.

Sienna is right. Being a mother does suit me.

“Mommy, what’s your favorite vegetable?” Franny asks, her brow furrowed in concentration as she attempts to cut a carrot.

“Hmm, that’s a tough one,” I muse, glancing at the array of veggies in front of us. “But I think I’d have to say red bell peppers. They’re so sweet and delicious.”

“Ooh, I like those too!” Gina chimes in, her eyes lighting up as she spots a pepper among the pile. “Can we add some to the salad, Mommy?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” I reply, handing her one to chop.

“Mommy,” Franny says suddenly, her voice soft and serious. “I just want you to know…I love you so much.”

“Me too!” Gina echoes, looking up from her task to meet my gaze with unwavering sincerity.

“Oh, my silly girls.” I give them both a kiss on the head. “You’ll never know just how much I love you.”

We gather around the table, my daughters’ eyes sparkling as they look at the food they helped prepare.

“Mommy, this is so good!” Gina exclaims between bites, her blue eyes wide with delight.

“Yummy!” Franny agrees, mirroring her sister’s enthusiasm.

“Thank you, sweethearts. You both did an amazing job helping me with everything,” I tell them, taking a satisfying bite of the salad adorned with red bell peppers.

“Everything smells so good,” Sienna says softly, sitting down beside me. “So, what delicious masterpiece did you two create tonight?”

Gina beams, launching into a detailed description of our cooking adventure. Franny giggles as Sienna playfully pretends to steal a bite from her plate, her laughter melding with theirs.

As the girls talk, Sienna turns her attention back to me. “Nothing weird has happened since you’ve been here, right? No strange text messages or letters.”

To anyone else, it might seem like a weird question, but Sienna knows the exact reason I’d been hesitant to return here.

I look at the twins, making sure they don’t overhear. “No, nothing.”

Sienna and I haven’t talked much about what happened that night three years ago when we snuck into the masquerade ball. She hadn’t known the full extent of what was going on because she’d been escorted out, but when I got back, I told her everything. To say that Sienna had been shocked was an understatement. I’d left the state, and she’d moved apartments, thinking they may come for her.

And she could hardly believe I’d slept with two of them. I had tried to describe the way they made me feel, the passion even with the sense of danger, before ultimately keeping it to myself. I could never explain what had come over me that night to make me sleep with two strangers.

But, I couldn’t hide that they’d gotten me pregnant.

“Good.” She smiles.

“Sienna,” I begin, my voice low and steady, “I really do believe we’re safe. It’s been years, and I haven’t seen them after that night. I think that’s a good sign.” A part of me hates the thought that I was so insignificant to them that they’d never thought about me again, but the other part of me…well, it’s just happy to be safe.

I pause, running my fingers along the edge of my plate, feeling its cool, smooth surface ground me. The memories of that night still send shivers down my spine…and make me wet. I shouldn’t be affected by them, not after all these years, but I can’t control my body.

“Besides,” I continue, glancing up to meet Sienna’s warm brown eyes, “if they were looking for me, they would have found me by now. Right?”

“God, I hope so, Annalise,” Sienna murmurs, her gaze softening with a mix of concern and relief. “For all our sakes.”

Me too. What would they do to me if they knew I had their blood running around?

“Hey!” Franny exclaims, capturing our attention. “Auntie Sienna, you have to try the sauce Gina and I made! Mommy said it’s the best she’s ever tasted!”

“Did she now?” Sienna grins, wiping away the last remnants of worry from her expression as she allows the girls to draw her back into their world of innocence and joy. “Well then, I simply must try it. Pass me some of that delicious sauce, please.”

“Here you go, Auntie Sienna,” Gina says proudly, passing her the bowl of sauce. “Try not to be too jealous of our culinary skills.”

“Jealous?” Sienna feigns offense, dramatically clutching at her chest. “Never! I’ll just have to up my game next time we cook together.”

I can’t help but smile as I watch them. For right now, everything is good, and we’re safe. There’s nothing more I can ask for.