28. Nikhil
28
NIKHIL
T he twinkling lights above cast a warm glow over the courtyard, setting the scene for an enchanting evening. I watch as Franny and Gina sit beside Cassius, their laughter filling the air like music while they look at all of the lights. I’m holding snacks in my hand, but I can barely bring myself to interrupt the moment.
Do I wish Cassius were their father? My heart squeezes with a mix of protectiveness and longing as I observe the trio from a distance.
“Annalise.” Nikhil’s voice cuts through my thoughts, drawing me out of my reverie. I turn to see him standing beside me, his striking blue eyes darkened by some unspoken emotion. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing,” I lie, offering a small smile. But Nikhil is not so easily fooled. He studies me for a moment, his gaze intense and unwavering. It’s unnerving how quickly he can read me, even in the dim light.
“Something’s bothering you.” His statement is more of a challenge than a question, forcing me to confront the truth I’ve been trying to ignore.
“I’m happy that the girls are getting to know you, that you’ll protect them, but…I can’t stop thinking about the danger they’re in…about what I would do if something happened to them because of…” I trail off, not even knowing what I want to say or, at least, how to say the words.
Nikhil watches me silently, processing my words. Then, sighing deeply, he says, “You’re not the only one who’s worried. Nothing will ever happen to them, Annalise. I won’t let it.”
“Really?” I ask, genuinely surprised. Nikhil always seems so sure of himself, so in control. The idea that he might share my apprehensions comes as a shock.
“Of course,” he replies, his eyes flicking back to Cassius, Franny, and Gina. “I can’t help but feel…jealous.” The word hangs heavy in the air between us, charged with meaning.
“Jealous?” I echo, my brow furrowing in confusion. “Why?”
“Because…” He hesitates, his jaw clenching as he searches for the right words. “Cassius has always had a way with people. They’re drawn to him, just like Franny and Gina.” He casts me a sideways glance, the vulnerability in his eyes making my heart ache. “I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever be enough.”
“Enough for who?” I ask gently, not wanting to push him too far.
“Enough for anyone,” he admits quietly. And just like that, the confident, charismatic Nikhil Volkov is stripped bare before me, revealing the insecurity and longing hidden beneath his bravado. “My parents had me to make sure Damian had a backup. I’ve been trying to live up to someone else’s expectations my entire life, even now.”
The flickering flames of the candles cast a golden glow across Nikhil’s face, highlighting the deep furrows etched into his brow. He seems so far away in this moment, lost in thought.
“Listen,” I say softly, taking a step closer and placing a gentle hand on his arm, “you’re not just a backup, Nikhil. You’re as much a part of their lives as Cassius is. And you don’t have to be like him to be loved or appreciated.”
He looks at me, surprised by my words. The intensity of his gaze sends shivers down my spine, but I hold it firmly, determined to make him understand.
“Maybe it’s true that people are drawn to Cassius,” I continue, “but that doesn’t mean they don’t see you too. You have your own strengths, your own qualities that make you unique. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Nikhil seems to mull over my words, his eyes searching mine for any hint of insincerity. When he finds none, the tension in his shoulders eases slightly.
“Do you like me, Annalise?”
I take a deep breath, considering how to answer his question. It’s true that I’m drawn to Cassius, but there’s something about Nikhil that intrigues me too. A depth that lies beneath his confident exterior, a vulnerability that tugs at my heartstrings.
“I…”
“I know you’re attracted to me. I’ve felt your body respond to my touch. But, that’s not what I’m asking.”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
He takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself for his next question. “Do you like Cassius?”
The question catches me off guard, and I struggle with how to respond. My heart races, my thoughts a chaotic whirlwind of emotions. I bite my lower lip, trying to gather my thoughts and find the right words. “Cassius is…captivating,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Is it because he’s the charming golden boy?” Nikhil asks, a hint of bitterness lacing his words. “Or is it something deeper?”
I glance at him, taken aback by his vulnerability. It’s a side of him I haven’t seen before, and it only serves to deepen my curiosity about this enigmatic man. “Nikhil, it’s not that simple,” I say quietly, reaching out to place a hand on his forearm. “There’s more to both of you than what meets the eye, and I’m still trying to understand it all.”
His blue eyes search mine, as if trying to determine the sincerity of my words. “So, you’re not choosing him over me?”
The intensity of his gaze unsettles me, and I look away for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “No, Nikhil,” I reply, meeting his eyes once more. “I’m not choosing anyone.”
“Good,” he concedes, his expression softening slightly. “I don’t want you to choose, not until you’re ready to choose me.”
The silence stretches between us like a taut thread, threatening to snap at any moment. I can feel the weight of Nikhil’s words hanging in the air.
“You want me to choose you?”
Nikhil nods, his expression unreadable. “I wasn’t raised to be gentle, Annalise,” he says slowly, his voice low and intense. “But I promise you, I won’t be rough with Franny and Gina. Not you either, unless you want me to.” He surprises me further when he adds, “And I want you to like me, Annalise. Not just tolerate me or put up with me because of…whatever this is between us. I want you to genuinely like me.”
His confession sends a shiver down my spine, igniting a warmth within me that I can’t quite place. It’s as if a door has been opened, revealing a side of Nikhil I never knew existed—a vulnerable, genuine side that craves connection and understanding just as much as I do.
“I’ll try,” I promise him, my voice trembling with the weight of our shared desires. “I’ll try to get to know you better, without any assumptions or expectations.”
“Good,” he murmurs, his gaze locked on mine.The heat between us is palpable, and my heart races as Nikhil’s fingers gently brush against my chin, tilting it upward. Our eyes lock, and in that instant, I see something shift within him—a newfound vulnerability, a flicker of raw emotion that takes my breath away.
“Annalise,” he whispers, his voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. And then his lips are on mine, and all coherent thought vanishes in a surge of passion and desire.
His kiss is everything I never knew I needed—tender yet insistent, possessive yet yielding, an intoxicating blend of contradictions that leaves me reeling. I feel my defenses crumble, swept away by the intensity of his touch and the unspoken promises that linger between us.
“God, Annalise…” he murmurs as we break apart, both of us gasping for air, our bodies still pressed close together. “I didn’t realize…how much I…”
“Shh,” I cut him off, placing a finger against his lips, still trembling from our kiss. “You don’t need to say anything.”
As we stand there, still entwined in each other’s arms, I become aware of a presence nearby. I glance to my right and catch sight of Cassius, his eyes locked on us with an unreadable expression. My cheeks flush with embarrassment, and I attempt to disentangle myself from Nikhil’s embrace.
“Wait, Annalise,” Nikhil says, his grip on my arm tightening slightly. “Don’t run away from this.”
“Run away?” I can’t help the incredulous laugh that escapes me. “I’m not running, Nikhil. But we can’t just…ignore the fact that Cassius saw us.”
“Let him see,” he replies, his voice low and steady. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“Maybe not, but…” The words die on my lips as I struggle to articulate the whirlwind of emotions that threatens to consume me. Fear, excitement, trepidation, desire—it’s all too much, too soon.
Cassius’s enigmatic smile plays on his lips as he comes closer to us, his piercing blue eyes revealing nothing. I can’t help but be captivated by his magnetic presence, even as my chest tightens with nerves.
“Relax,” he says, shifting his gaze from us to the dazzling city lights below. “Nikhil and I are brothers, after all. We share everything.”
They share everything…
Does that include me?