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Let Em Go - Matt Hanse n

S taying at Amelia's feels like a sanctuary, a rare place where my mind finds peace. At home, my thoughts swirl endlessly, and work brings its own barrage of distractions. But here, with Amelia, it's like I'm anchored, grounded in her presence.

She sleeps peacefully beside me, her hair cascading over the pillow, a picture of serenity. She's truly beautiful. Last night, sleep eluded me. Despite her offer to ease my mind, I'd declined—too drained, physically and mentally. I managed only a couple of hours of rest, but I'm thankful she slept well.

The covers have slipped down to her torso, revealing her flawless, pale skin. I lightly brush the back of my hand over her stomach, the touch sending shock waves straight down to my hardening cock.

Despite the pain I'm in, despite being uncomfortable, I shouldn't be turned on when she's with me. I can't explain it. But when I'm with her, it's like I have this primal desire for her—something I've never felt before.

My touch stirs her awake, and she blinks her eyes open, her gaze focusing on me. I can't help but smile at the way her eyes sparkle in the morning light. Moving closer, I nudge her with my cock, and her eyes widen.

"Straight to the point, I see," she teases, her voice laced with amusement.

"What do you expect when I wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world?"

She blushes and murmurs, "Lies."

I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. "Not lies. It's the truth." Her soft chuckle is like music to my ears.

"A simple ‘good morning' would have sufficed, you know," she teases, playfully scolding me.

"My apologies. Good morning, sunshine," I say, peppering kisses along her stomach. "My sweetheart." Kiss. "My girl." Kiss.

Each word is punctuated by a kiss, and I feel her body shudder beneath me.

Careful of my shoulder, I move up to capture her mouth in a kiss, my lips meeting hers with a hunger that never seems to fade. She responds eagerly, her hands moving to tangle in my hair as our kiss deepens. A surge of desire for this woman fills my insides and my heart pounds in my chest.

She is everything to me.

Her declaration of love still echoes in my mind. Since she said those words, it's been eating at me. I hate feeling vulnerable; it's one of my least favourite things. And yet, hearing her say she loves me, knowing that I feel the same, has made me feel raw and exposed. That fucking voice in my head keeps filling me with doubts. What if I'm not enough? What if I can't be what she needs? I don't like feeling like this, so open and uncertain. It's a struggle, this feeling of being so vulnerable, but the truth is, I wouldn't trade it. Not for anything.

"God, I missed you," I whisper against her lips, my voice husky with emotion. She smiles against my mouth.

"I missed you, too."

She pushes me back carefully, breaking the kiss, before straddling my hips, placing herself directly on top of me. I can feel the heat of her body against mine, igniting a fire within me that only she can quench.

I run a hand up her sides, feeling the curve of her waist, the softness of her skin. She leans down, capturing my lips again, and I respond eagerly, losing myself in the taste and feel of her.

She leans in from the side, her lips leaving a trail of soft kisses down my chest. Each touch sends a shiver through me. Her kisses wander lower, across my abdomen, careful not to press too hard, avoiding my ribs. A wave of anticipation washes over me as she moves down further, settling in front of my cock, which strains beneath the fabric.

She hesitates, and I ask, "What?"

"How's your pain?" she says, nodding to my shoulder and ribs. I'd taken off the bandage earlier this morning, iced it for twenty minutes, and then took a tablet for further pain relief, so right now, I'm not feeling much pain at all.

"I'm fine, Mills," I assure her. No amount of pain will deter me from anything .

"You sure?"

"Yes, babe. I'm sure," I reply. She smirks at me.

"I want to make you feel good," she says.

My already hardened cock throbs at her words, standing up tall for attention under my briefs. I can't help but encourage her with a grin. "I'm not going to stop you, sunshine. Go for it." She tugs at the waistband of my briefs, pulling them down my legs, and my cock springs free.

Her fingers wrap around me, her touch feather-light and teasing. I shiver at the sensation as she begins to stroke me slowly. Then she lowers her mouth, her warm breath sending shivers down my spine before her lips envelop me completely. The way she circles her tongue around the tip makes me fight the urge to groan.

Fuck, she's a natural. She's learned well, and it feels incredible—better than I ever expected.

Her hand pumps at the base, the pressure just right as she moves up and down. Each stroke drives me wild, and I can't help but grip her hair, pulling her closer. The way her mouth feels, warm and wet, sends me spiralling. Her soft moans and the sound of her sucking push me to the edge. To my surprise, she takes me even further, her throat opening to accommodate me. I groan in disbelief as she gags slightly before moving back up.

"Oh, fuck," I can't help but groan as she swirls her tongue around the tip, and I feel myself nearing the brink. Her free hand runs down to fondle my balls, and I nearly lurch forward from the sensation.

It's a new sensation, one I didn't teach her .

The feeling of her mouth on my cock, coupled with her hands massaging my balls, becomes too much. "Fuck, fuck. I'm gonna come," I groan out. Before I know it, I'm coming hard and fast. She doesn't pull away, though. Instead, she keeps going, sucking me dry as my orgasm crashes over me. I growl through gritted teeth, overwhelmed by the intensity.

She swallows every drop, then releases me with a soft pop , wiping her mouth as she pants, her chest heaving. Her face is flushed, and I'm hit with a powerful urge to kiss her.

"Come here," I manage to grunt, and she moves closer, rounding my side. I grab her by the back of the head, pulling her mouth to mine, but she hesitates.

"Wait. I just swallowed your—"

"I don't give a fuck," I growl, cutting her off as I take her lips in a fierce kiss. The mingling taste of my cum and her sweet lips ignite a primal hunger within me. I deepen the kiss, savouring the intoxicating blend of our flavours. Pulling away, I exhale heavily.

"That was... fuck. That was amazing."

"Well, I had an excellent teacher," she quips, a playful laugh dancing in her voice.

I growl playfully. "Damn straight, sunshine."

As I lie here, feeling her warmth against me, my mind drifts. I think about Amelia and my sister—wondering how she'll react to us being together—and everything else. Last night replays in my mind, each scene raw and vivid. I was sure I wouldn't make it out. When that explosion hit, all I could see were her brown eyes, her smile; just her .

Yet, here I am, breathing, feeling her breathing next to me.

I shake my head, trying to clear away the thoughts. I should be grateful, shouldn't I? Grateful for this moment, for her, for being alive. But the what-ifs, the could-have-beens, they linger.

I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer, needing the reassurance that she's real, that this is real.

"Bradley?" Her voice breaks through my thoughts.

"Hm."

"I can hear you thinking."

I chuckle lightly, but the movement causes a twinge of discomfort in my ribcage. "It's nothing, babe."

She sits up. "Tell me. Please."

I huff a laugh again, but then stop myself short, wincing this time—not wanting to strain myself any more. She apologises for making me laugh, and I shoot her a look.

"What have I said about apologising?" She just rolls her eyes at me. I continue answering her question with a sigh. It's such a simple question, well maybe for her, yet the answer is so loaded. How could I ever truly explain what goes on in my mind?

"What isn't?" I say nervously, pausing to consider how to express the jumble of thoughts. "Just... everything. Last night, us…"

Her brow furrows slightly. "It's a lot, isn't it?"

I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "I was just thinking... about how fragile everything is. How quickly life can change." My words trail off, and I shake my head. Amelia studies me, her gaze intent.

"What are you thinking now?" I ask, wanting to know what's on her mind.

She shakes her head, unsure. "I don't know."

"Tell me," I urge, mimicking her works from earlier, wanting to understand.

"Has... has anyone ever mentioned that you might have GAD?" she asks tentatively.

"What's GAD?" I inquire, not familiar with the term.

"Generalised Anxiety Disorder?" she explains. "You know, because you're always thinking and worrying about things. I'd assume you overthink things in your head, play out scenarios. Am I right?"

I frown, considering her words. Fuck. Could she be on to something? Is that what I have? I've never been diagnosed with anything, and we're trained and put through tests at the academy, to ensure we're one-hundred percent.

Anxiety? No, that can't be it. I don't think so.

She smiles at me, watching my reaction.

"I'm doing it now, aren't I?"

She shrugs. "It's okay, though. I just assumed, but I could be wrong. I deal with lots of children with GAD. I know kindergarteners are different, but we see it in our older students."

Amelia continues to reassure me that it's normal, that this might be what gives me that grumpy vibe. She doesn't believe I'm a real grump, just that I'm so caught up in my head that I give off those brooding vibes—as she put it.

Fuck, how can someone know me so well? She sees right through me, and to my surprise, it doesn't bother me at all.

"Bradley," she says softly. "You can open up to me whenever you want. I won't judge you. I just want you to be yourself. Always." Her words wash over me, and I feel a weight lift off my shoulders.

She has this power over me. In her eyes, I can be myself.

"Come," she says, getting out of bed. "Let's make some breakfast." She gently pulls me up, and I follow her into the kitchen. But as we move, her steps falter, and she stops suddenly, a gasp escaping her mouth. I look up to see what caused it, and my heart drops.

Standing in the doorway, holding a set of keys, is my sister .

"What. The. Fuck? " Liv's voice cuts through the silence.

"Liv…" Amelia whispers, her voice barely audible. My sister just frowns, just standing there, not saying anything else.

Well, shit.

Her gaze flickers between us, eyes narrowing as she takes in the scene. We're not exactly dressed for company.

"What the FUCK is going on here?" Liv demands, her voice sharp. "Are you two… together?" she asks, her tone accusatory.

Amelia stumbles over her words, and I step in to confirm, "Yes."

Liv gasps, her disbelief evident. "What? I'm so fucking confused. No, this can't be real," she laughs incredulously. "You're fucking joking, right?"

"Liv, I didn't know you were coming by. I—" Amelia begins, but my sister cuts her off, her tone sharp.

"I texted you!"

"I'm so sorry, I haven't checked my phone," Amelia explains, trying to defuse the situation.

Liv's eyes flash with anger. "Of course you didn't. You were probably too busy fucking my brother," she spits, each word laced with venom.

Amelia recoils, her face paling. I feel a surge of protectiveness toward her, but I know Liv's anger is justified.

My sister directs her gaze toward Amelia. "How long?" she asks, her tone demanding. Amelia hesitates, not answering immediately.

"Liv—" I start, but she holds up a hand, cutting me off.

"You, shut the fuck up. I'm talking to her. How long, Amelia? How long have you been seeing my brother behind my fucking back?" Liv's voice is sharp.

Amelia takes a deep breath, her voice barely above a whisper. "A few months."

"Months?" She blows out a breath. "Are you for real?" Liv cries out, her frustration palpable. "It's been months. FUCKING MONTHS, and you never thought to tell me?"

Amelia's eyes fill with tears. "Liv, I promise you, we were planning on telling you. We just..." she trails off, unable to find the right words.

"Oh. You were planning on telling me?" Liv asks, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "When exactly?"

I step forward. "We should have told you sooner. We know. We both just got caught up."

Liv's fists clench at her sides. "I thought you were my friend, Amelia. MY BEST FRIEND!" She laughs nervously. "I'd suspected you'd had a little crush on him, but I never fucking thought it would get to this extent. Going behind my fucking back!"

As Liv's words cut through the air, I feel a sharp pang of guilt for the hurt I've caused my sister. What we've both caused. Her anger is palpable, yet amidst this, my heart breaks for Amelia, too. She stands there, pale and shaken, bearing the weight of my sister's accusations. I know she's feeling the same thing as me. She'd been concerned, and I'd selfishly brushed it off, saying we'd tell her when ‘the time was right'.

Olivia's words hang heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the breach of trust between us. She backs toward the door, her expression hardened.

"Please, Liv... don't leave. Let's talk about this. Let me explain," Amelia's soft voice pleads, breaking the tense silence.

Olivia pauses, caught in a moment of contemplation, her eyes reflecting a mix of hurt and anger. "You know, Amelia, fair enough. I get it. You've never experienced being with a guy before, so you'd jump at any opportunity you get," she says, her voice laced with disdain.

"Liv, there's no need to be hurtful," I say through gritted teeth.

"But you," Liv continues, pointing at me, "you fucking disappoint me," she spits. "I can't even look at you. You both disgust me." Her parting words sting, the final blow to an already shattered moment, before she turns, slamming the door behind her, leaving us both standing there, hearts heavy with regret.

The weight of her words hangs heavy in the air, and I can feel the sting of her disappointment like a physical blow. As an older brother, the sense of duty to my sister weighs heavily on me, and I know I've let her down. I turn to Amelia, who now has tears streaming down her cheeks. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close as she buries her face in my chest, her body shaking with sobs, and my heart breaks.

I feel responsible. This is all my fault.

"She hates me. Oh, God," Amelia says into my chest.

I hold her tighter, trying to offer what little comfort I can. "She'll come around. I know it," I say, hoping it's true.

Amelia sniffles, pulling away slightly to look at me. "I don't know, Bradley. This is a mess."

This is a mess. I couldn't agree more.

As I continue to hold her, rubbing circles on her back, deep down, a part of me fears that Liv's hurt runs too deep, that this betrayal might be too much for her to forgive. And if Liv can't forgive, I can't help but wonder how Amelia will cope with losing her best friend.

The thought gnaws at me, twisting my gut with worry. This mess has the potential to not only damage Amelia's relationship with Liv, but also to jeopardise whatever we have between us.

How do we move forward from this?

"Bradley," she whispers, her voice choked with emotion. "Maybe you should go home. Talk to her. You're her brother; maybe she'll listen. I just need some time to think." My heart sinks at her words, and I frown, realising my fears may have been correct.

I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be but here , with her . But I respect her enough to do what she asks, as much as I hate it. I reluctantly release her from my embrace and head to her bedroom to change and grab my things.

Returning to the living room, I find Amelia still standing in the same spot, her eyes red and swollen with tears. I move to her side, gently tilting her chin up to meet my gaze.

"We're gonna be okay," I reassure her, my voice soft.

She looks at me, hurt evident in her eyes. "I-I hope so… I just need to fix things with her. I can't lose her."

I swallow hard, a pang of disappointment hitting me. What about me? I want to say, but I hold back, wanting her to ask me to stay, to reassure me as well.

But nothing.

With a heavy sigh, I acknowledge her request and press a soft kiss to her forehead before turning toward the door. Stepping out into the morning air, a sense of foreboding settles over me, and I'm left to ponder what lies ahead for us.