29

Never Been In Love - Lauren Spencer Smith

F inally recovering from a bad case of food poisoning, I've sworn off sushi for good.

On top of that, my period decided to make an appearance later that night when Bradley came over, which explains all the heightened emotions. It hadn't occurred to me in the moment, when I was tearing up at little things, but now it all makes sense. Although, calling Bradley coming over to look after me a ‘little' thing, is a stretch. It was everything .

Liv had called and sent some texts to check in, and it's safe to say that we have now resumed our early morning coffee runs.

After a long, stressful Thursday wrangling kindergarteners, I retreat to my study, seeking solace in painting. Today has been one of those days—kids testing my patience to the max. But now, brushes in hand and my palette of oil colours at the ready, I can finally release all that pent-up frustration.

I mix the oil colours carefully, each stroke a deliberate expression of my feelings. As I apply the paint to the canvas, my mind wanders to my quest for exhibition opportunities. Local galleries don't quite match what I envisioned. Then my sister suggested Sydney's art scene. A few applications later, I was accepted to showcase my series at a well-known gallery there. It's thrilling, but also adds a new kind of pressure. For now, though, painting lets me lose myself in the colours and shapes, finding peace in creating. Oil paints are great—they practically blend themselves. Their slow-drying, creamy consistency makes blending a breeze. I manipulate the colours on the canvas, effortlessly creating smooth transitions and soft gradients.

Beside the canvas, clipped to the edge, is a candid photo of Bradley. One I took without him noticing. That night at dinner, walking to his car, I sneaked my phone out and discreetly snapped a picture before he could catch on. There's something about capturing the moment that feels more intimate than posed pictures. In this painting, he's turned away, his strong jawline and furrowed brows giving away his deep thoughts. Bradley in all his grumpy glory. I chuckle to myself, thinking of how he'd react if he knew I'd painted him like this. My phone buzzes on the table beside me, and I see Kat's name flashing. Without missing a beat, I answer the call, tucking my brush behind my ear. She's supposed to land around six fifteen-ish, she'd said.

It's only five twenty-eight now. I swipe to answer the FaceTime call, wondering why she'd be calling right now, and her face fills the screen, with our parents peeking in the background.

"Surprise!" Kat exclaims.

"Oh, my goodness. Are you here already?" I squeal, excitement bubbling up .

"Yep! Early flight," Kat says, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hi, sweetheart!" Mum's voice chimes in from behind.

"Hey, Mum. This is amazing, Kat," I say, feeling my heart swell with happiness. "How was the flight?"

"Pretty smooth, actually. We landed early, so we thought we'd surprise you."

Seeing Kat feels like it's been ages, but it's only been a few months. The last time I saw her was last Christmas. It's April now—four months. Four months too long. Sometimes, I just really need my big sister. Dad leans into the frame, waving.

"We figured you could use a little surprise after a long day," he says with a grin.

"You have no idea how perfect this timing is. I've missed you all so much."

"We've missed you, too," Kat says warmly.

"Where's Millie?" I ask, noticing her absence.

"She's out cold, on the couch with John," Kat replies with a soft chuckle.

"Poor thing," I say, my heart melting a little.

"Well, are you coming over or what? We have so much to catch up on," my sister retorts with a smirk. I laugh, pulling the paintbrush from behind my ear.

"What ya painting, kiddo?" Dad asks, peering over Kat's shoulder. I playfully roll my eyes at him. He knows I hate being called kiddo, but I'll always be his baby girl. "Something new," I reply, keeping it vague .

"Well, show us," he urges.

"Not yet," I say, blushing. "They're not ready."

I know I won't be showing anyone these works until I submit them to the gallery. And definitely not Dad. No way he's seeing the portrait I'm painting of Bradley.

"Okay, dokey," Dad says, raising his hands in mock surrender. "We'll wait."

"See you soon!" I say, ending the call with a smile.

"I'm sorry, excuse me!" Kat says, swallowing down her sip of wine. "You're telling me you've kissed Bradley, and I'm only just hearing about this now?" She shakes her head. "Poor form, sis. Not good."

I laugh and smack her on the arm. "Oh, shush. It's been such a busy month, between work, going away, and recently getting hit with friggin' food poisoning. I haven't had much time to do anything, really. Not even paint. I haven't been coming past home much, either."

My expression sours. I miss hanging out with my parents. Living away from them is hard . You easily forget to do all the things that used to be routine, normal. It's so easy to get caught up in everything, until suddenly you're realising things too little, too late. The thought upsets me. My parents aren't getting any younger .

"It's okay. Mum and Dad understand," Kat says, patting my knee. "They just want you happy, healthy, and safe. And preferably married by now with kids."

I gasp, widening my eyes before laughing. "Yeah, right. By the time that happens, everyone will be old ."

"Don't say that! I think it may be closer on the horizon than you think."

"Pft. Okay, Kat."

"So, when am I going to see Bradley, properly, in the flesh?"

I blush again. "Uh, I don't know. It's not like we're dating or anything. I can't just invite him over."

"Why the fuck not?" I laugh at her cursing. If Mum heard her right now, she'd cop a smacking. Twelve or thirty-three—it doesn't make a difference to our mother. Swearing has always been a no-go for us since we were young. I've grown up learning every variation under the sun of swear words that aren't ‘technically' swear words. But I'll be honest, it's exhausting trying to think of them.

"I don't know. Things are weird. We're tiptoeing around this newfound friendship, when neither of us has said anything."

"So say something. Do something. You can't stay a virgin forever. You're missing out, sis. I promise you."

"Thanks, that makes me feel better."

"Sorry." She laughs half-heartedly. "I didn't mean to make you feel worse. I'm just saying. Stop wasting time. Bite the bullet and go for it. He has initiated the kisses. Maybe he's waiting for you to do the same." I didn't think of it like that. She might be right. "Does he know you're a virgin?"

"Uh… not sure. I've never outright said it."

"Okay, one step at a time."

One step at a time.

It seems like I've been doing that my whole life. Tiptoeing around Bradley, my best friend's older brother, since I can remember. Harbouring this crush. Ugh. I am tired.

"Yeah. I guess."

Her eyes light up. "Oh, I can't wait to show you so many tips and tricks. I've learned a lot over the years, but John and I have found our sweet spots."

Oh, nice. Now I'm picturing my sister and her husband… you know. That's not a sight I wanted to see. Just then, Mum comes outside, interrupting my thoughts.

"We're gonna have a BBQ tomorrow night. Dad's gonna head to the butcher tomorrow morning to get some things."

"Oh, fun. John loves BBQing. He'd love to help."

This makes me think of Bradley. He'd told me he can throw a mean grill, and I can't help but think he'd fit in so well here. With us.

"Oh, Meli, darling, you should tell Bradley to come by. It'd be nice to see that boy."

"Oh—" My words trail off as I stutter.

"That's a great idea! I'd love to see your new friend , Meli." My sister nudges my knee with a wink.

"I don't think he'll be—"

Mum cuts off my words. "Great! It'll be a party of six."

"What about Liv? Can't leave her out," I say wearily because, well, she is my best friend, after all.

"Oh, she won't be home, love. She's babysitting a friend's kids in the evening." What? I frown.

"H-how do you know that?"

"I spoke with Grace this morning. I saw her in town."

"Since when do you two hang out?" I ask with a sceptical look.

"Well, lately we started our yoga sessions together, and I've been seeing her around more." I just nod slowly, and Mum retreats back inside.

"That woman is always one step ahead, I'm telling you," Kat says before sculling the rest of her wine. I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that my sister might be right again.

As I settle into bed, ready to sleep, my phone vibrates. My heart stops when I see Bradley's name on the screen.

My heart races. He's texting me.

He replies almost instantly.

My cheeks flush with warmth. I should probably tell him about the BBQ now, shouldn't I?

Holy crap! That was surprisingly easy. Bradley is actually coming to my house! My dad will be there, and John. Oh, God. What if Dad starts noticing my crush on Bradley? He's always been good at reading between the lines, especially when it comes to me. And John, oh dear John, with his sly grins and knowing looks. He's definitely going to pick up on something. What if I start blushing like a tomato every time Bradley looks at me? What if I say something completely embarrassing or spill paint on myself?

Ugh, why did I agree to this?

Just breathe, Amelia .

And they really can. My dad alone is intimidating, but when John is with him, they become overprotective of everything. And when they drink together, forget it. It's like trying to stop a runaway train.

Oh my. Okay, then.

A warm flush spreads across my cheeks as I read over his texts. I can't help but imagine his smirk as he typed those words. He always knows just how to tease me, and here I am, blushing like a schoolgirl caught passing notes in class.

If my heart could leap out of my chest, beating rapidly, it would happen right about now.