Chapter 39

"I really feellike I could have ridden my own horse," she says as she leans in, her back to my front. And fuck, does it feel good to have her this close. I wanted to take her out here when she asked last night about my bourbon, but I had a plan. And we needed daylight.

"You could have, but I like you here." I nuzzle into her neck.

"This is where you go so early in the mornings?" I look around at the open landscape and listen to the way the buzzing of cicadas keeps the low hum of the morning as Tawney snorts at the bluegrass pollen that's been kicked up from the heavier winds from the past few days.

"Not every day, but at least once every week or two, I come out this far."

Before she sees it, she can hear it. "What's that?—?"

When we crest the small hill we've been climbing, her breath catches. And I felt the same the first time I came out here with Griz. This is by far my favorite place in Fiasco. Beyond the distillery or the stables. This place feels big and important. It always has.

Cascading water rushes and tumbles thirty feet down its ledge, splashing across rocks and a deep pool at its end. The falls are more than a hundred feet wide, making the simplest thing, water, appear like an animated curtain of white haze and fine mist.

It's not as intense this time of year, with not as much rainfall or snow to keep the river moving, but it still roars. And it's a helluva sight.

Julep comes barking up behind us. She ran off chasing a rabbit a few miles back, which tends to be her favorite game whenever we're out here. I've only had to search for her once, when she found a burrow of bunnies and wouldn't leave. And just like those damn rabbits, she found something she loves in Laney too. My dog knew, even before I realized. I let out a short whistle. "Jules. Keep up, girl." There was no way she was staying behind with both of us heading out so early. And I want her with us for this anyway.

The sound of Laney laughing as Jules shoots by has me smiling back.

"This is a good look on you."

I tilt my head back to look at her turn over her shoulder. "Whatever it is you're about to show me, you're excited about it."

"Damn right, I am." I lean one leg down and hoist it over Tawney's backside, hitting the tall grass. I hadn't planned to ask her to marry me last night. I had planned on doing it here. Showing her a part of me, and then asking if she'd like to skip to the good part. Start our life now, no matter where it ends up. Whether or not we could stay or had to leave. When I made the decision that I wanted forever with her, I needed to know she'd want the same.

I reach up and offer my hand, but she's stubborn and kicks her leg over, holding on to the pommel and letting out a yelp as her feet hit the ground. She raises her hands up like she just landed a trick in gymnastics.

"Graceful."

"Natural talent," she jokes back.

I pull out my phone, looking at the time, then grab her hand. Still plenty of time to show her what I've spent so much of my time doing over the past handful of years. "C'mon."

"Is the water going to be freezing without any sun right now?"

I keep us moving alongside the falls. "We're not going in. We're going behind."

She laughs, but then her brow furrows. "What?"

I keep pulling her forward and Julep runs ahead. The pathway is graded, lined with tracks, and a simple climb. It's just not the easiest to find. I wanted it that way. When we come up along the falling water, the mist dances around us as if it were a wall of its own and not moisture in motion. She peers over the side. "How deep is that?"

I pull her shoulder back. "Ace and Lincoln used to run and dive in closer to where Tawney is tied up. So deep enough for that."

"You didn't go in with them?"

I swallow and look back out at the water falling into the deep pool below. I love it here, the sound of roaring water, the way the field turns into something completely else around this corner. "I tried once. Ended up belly flopping because I didn't like how it felt to fall."

She looks out over the rushing water. "How did it feel?"

"Like I didn't have control of what was going to happen to me."

"There." And with one flick, the string lights that have been placed along the crevices of the rock wall, inside the waterfall"s cave, kick on and illuminate.

Her eyes dance around the space as she slowly walks in. A small workbench with just a few of the tools I need when I'm out here—gloves, oak spires, bungs, and a whiskey thief. But it"s when she steps in a few feet farther, she looks back at me.

"Your bourbon?"

I smile at how that sounds. "My bourbon."

Her lips part as she takes in the racks of barrels stacked on either side, four barrels high and deep enough that she needs to walk a bit farther to see where it ends.

"I came out here when I was about thirteen or fourteen with Griz. Told me if I was smart that I'd do well to remember places that made me feel a certain way. I don't know why that stuck with me, but it did. Something so obscure, my grandfather said to me years ago." I look around the cool, damp space. "Bourbon's beauty is in the way it ages. It's one of the few things that people appreciate more as it gets older. But aside from that, Kentucky bourbon does so well because?—"

"Because of the extreme weather changes," she finishes with a wink. "And the water." That day in the cooperage when I teased her about what was in the water here, comes rushing back to my memory.

"That's my girl." I love that she knows that. Laney doesn't just know the bare basics anymore. I watch and listen to her when she pours at the end of tours; she has opinions about flavors and has learned the science that Lincoln is so hell bent on teaching. It's just another turn-on.

I grab the gloves, along with the screwdriver and mallet. "I needed something in order to stay busy and out of my head." I clear my throat, not proud of how I was after I left the police department.

"So you made bourbon."

"So I made bourbon."

I crouch down to the bottom row a few feet ahead of her. "I wanted to turn this grief I had into something. A way to remember, but also to forget for a while, if that makes sense."

She runs her hand along my arm. "It does."

"I've only ever been good at a few things." I nod to the barrel I've just opened. "And knowing good bourbon is at the top of that list. I don't have any plans for it. Nobody knows about it—not even my brothers."

"What?" She scoffs at me, eyes wide, disbelief evident in her voice. "What do you mean, they don't know about this?"

I dip the long stopper into the open slot. "This was for me. And now..." I look down the row and see all the barrels. The sweat and time it took to make this, bringing it out here and giving it a place to change into something better, makes me proud. "Now it's theirs if they want it. I don't have a need for it anymore."

"You can't just leave all this. I can't even imagine what it took to get all of it out here. And the time to get the mash right."

My mouth ticks up. "Listen to you using the proper language."

With her hand slung on her hip, she says, "I've been living, breathing, and sleeping with Foxx Bourbon. I know what I'm talking about." She smirks at me.

"It was fucking sexy, that's what it was. C'mere," I say, reaching out for her. She leans down to where I'm kneeling. My knees kill me every second of it, but damn, do I love kissing this woman. Her soft lips drink mine, and if I'm not careful, I'll end up fucking her right here. I pull back and focus back on what I was doing. Holding up the long whiskey thief and looking at the color—a deep amber in this row. "Taste."

"The last time you and I fed each other bourbon, we ended up very naked."

I smile at the memory. "Open," I demand, holding the long tube of bourbon above her.

Her mouth opens, and I release a dram into it. Her eyes meet mine as she swallows it down slowly, giving me a little moan of approval. "It has a sweet finish. I like this."

I've been waiting to bottle it. And even if it weren't ready, I'd be forced to just so I could take some of it with me. But as I take a taste and it coats my tongue, I know this is good bourbon. Hell, with a little longer in these barrels, some of it could be great bourbon.

"You're really just going to leave it?" Lips pursing, she looks around the damp space. The roar of the falls and the generator running have her practically shouting it from the distance she's walked. "I don't understand how you even got it all here."

"ATV and a small trailer that hooks to the back. I only made small batches. And then, once I got here, I put down rails and rolled 'em up."

"So what happens to it all?"

"Might be nice to leave it. Give it to my little flowers for when they inherit some of this."

She smiles up at me, looping her arms around my neck. I take my gloves off as I pull her closer. "You're a good uncle. Brother. Grandson. You're a good man, Grant Foxx."

"I have my moments," I joke.

But she shakes her head. "How could you just leave?" Her eyebrows pinch together, looking more serious by the second. "You can't want to leave."

I kiss her. "I want to be with you. It's that simple. Nobody asked me to choose, but it's you, baby. You're what I've been waiting on. Brave. Smart." I kiss her lips again. "Fiery and sweet. And what I want."

I push the curtain of strawberry blonde waves behind her shoulder. "I'm going to take two bottles and we'll drink them when I'm missing home. How's that?"

She rests her head on my bicep, looking up, and it's the first time in a long time that I've felt excited about something new. For an unknown.

"It's not true, you know?"

I search her eyes for what she's asking.

"You're good at more than just a few things, Grant." She runs the tips of her fingers along my hairline, and I lean into her touch.

Julep's bark echoes throughout the cave. I lean in and brush my lips along hers. "Time for us to go."

She doesn't ask any questions, just smiles big and wide at my dog, scratching her behind her ears. It hits the right spot when I see Julep's back leg start to thump at her belly. Her coat is muddy and damp from the morning, but Laney couldn't care less; she gives Jules all her attention.

"It's beautiful here." She sets her hand on her forehead, visoring the sun that's high in the sky, reflecting off the water. When we make our way back to the horse, I swap the bottles in my hands for the shoebox-sized wooden box I stored in the Tawney's saddle bag.

I hand the box to her. "I hadn't realized I was even doing it until I had all these things that—" I cut myself off. "Open it."

Her eyes bounce from the box back to me as she drags her fingers across the sanded and glossed wood top. "Did you make this?"

I give her a fast nod, pushing my hands into my back pockets. "Used some of the imperfect oak staves that didn't make the cut for barrels. Took a while to find the right fits. But it still came together pretty nicely."

As she sits down in the overgrown grass, the wildflowers bend around her to make space. She rests the box on her legs as she pulls out stalks of dried chamomile and purple coneflower—the same ones she wove in her hair with Lark and Lily. A few of the crystals that had been stuck to her sheer shirt the night of Ace's birthday at Midnight Proof. "Some of those ended up in my boot and pocket." I smile.

The smirk that ghosts her lips lets me know that she remembers exactly why those would have haphazardly ended up in god knows where. She holds up the fishing lure that she used the morning Griz and I took her fly fishing.

But it's when she pulls out the Fiasco, Kentucky magnet, her eyes fly up to mine. I remembered what she had said about her dad and her keepsakes. Hell, I remembered everything she said. I was starting to keep stock of her different smiles and how all of her ‘tells' weren't tells at all, but just mannerisms and habits that I hadn't memorized yet. I want to learn all of them.

"You're making new memories here." I tip my head. "You needed a new memory box." And the way her face squints as she tries to hold back tears, the same way she did last night, has me clearing the same emotions from my throat. Her eyes meet mine, blurry and brimming with so much that I know she wants to say, but I look back down at the box, urging her to keep going. There's one more thing in there. It was why I brought her out here today.

I know the moment she sees it. Her lips pop open just enough that I can tell she didn't expect it. She holds up a thin gold band with a simple round diamond. It might not fit perfectly, but we'll figure it out.

"That was my nana's ring. I asked Griz if he wouldn't mind if you had it. A little bit of my family with us wherever we end up." I kneel this time, on one knee, the way I would have planned if I had more time. "I love you, Laney. I want you to be mine the same way that I'll be yours. I promise that I'll make you proud to wear that ring. The same way I promise to be your family, to keep you safe, and to keep loving you a little more every day."

Tears flow down her cheeks, and she lets out a small sob as she throws her arms around my shoulders. "A little more. Every day," she says softly. "You'll be safe with me too, cowboy."

Wrapping my arms around her middle, I lift her feet off the ground. I stare at the blue in her eyes as they pick up the light from the sun. I swallow down the lingering fear that history will repeat itself. I won't let it ruin the life that I want. I've done that for long enough. I think about the night on the dance floor and when I asked her what kind of woman she was. And what it felt like to finally have her. I've never wanted anyone as badly as I want her.

"Do you remember when I asked you what you liked?"

"Yes," she whispers, her lips lingering against mine for a brief moment.

I run my lips down the side of her neck. "Show me."

She leans back to look at me with a smirk playing on her lips. She shimmies out of my arms. Then, taking a small step back, she glances around the open field. I'm buzzing with want for her and the anticipation of what she's going to do. What she'll say. When her eyes come back to me, she gazes down the length of my body.

"Take off your shirt."

I don't question it. I grab behind my neck, pulling the shirt over my head.

Her eyes dance around my tattoos, across my chest, and down my stomach.

"Now the belt."

I keep my eyes on hers as she unbuttons her shorts and works them down her thighs. She starts backing away as I unbuckle my belt. With a good ten feet between us, she says, "Now your jeans." She sheds the Fiasco Bourbon t-shirt with the sleeves cut off that she snagged from my closet this morning, leaving her in a barely-there pair of underwear and a cropped white tank.

She keeps walking, but when I look behind her, I realize what she's doing. "Where you going, Laney?"

"Feel like fallin', cowboy?"

With only a pair of black boxer briefs on, I rush after her. There's not a day I've been with her that I haven't been pushed out of my comfort zone, but this catches me off guard. "Don't!"

And instead of ignoring it, and jumping anyway, she stops right along the edge of the steep riverbank to smile up at me. "Fall with me, Grant."

I take her lips between mine in a punishing, almost pleading kiss. The adrenaline of nerves and excitement are buzzing through me even louder than the vibration from the waterfall beneath my bare feet. I'm ready. "Alright, baby, hold on nice and tight."

She does. It's a short running start before we go over the edge of the cliff and fall. It's only a couple of seconds with Laney in my arms before we plunge into the cool water below.

It's the same spot that my brothers jumped off when we were kids. It always looked so high. So much farther than the fall.

I let go of her so she can surface as quickly as she needs. When I come up for breath, she's already there waiting for me with a bright smile. I shake my head to get my hair out of my face and yell out, "Wahooo!" The echo off the water and the surrounding earth bounces the sound right back at us.

We're laughing as we swim toward each other, my hands finding her hips as her legs and arms wrap around me as soon as we're close enough.

I can't remember a time, a day, a moment when the only thing I felt was good. There's not a single thing that's been expected when it comes to this woman, and I smile as I think about the kind of life that'll be.