5. Chapter 5

B ack at my shop, I reviewed the orders I would need to put together for the following day and checked my incoming orders as well. As I sat at the computer, I thought about the delivery I'd made to the fancy office.

I was used to bizarre reactions when I showed up, especially at someone's workplace. Bringing flowers when no one knew they were coming always created a buzz. Each person would be anxious to see who the delivery was for, as they tried not to look too obvious about watching me. It was amusing and exhilarating to be the one who brought such joy and excitement to someone's otherwise normal, boring day. With most of my deliveries handled by a service these days, it felt great to return to that moment of presenting something to lift a person's spirits. Or, in this case, lift several people's spirits .

The department that I delivered my largest bouquet to was shocked, to say the least. When I first walked into the room, I could practically feel stress dripping from the walls, like a haunted house dripping blood. But that all changed when they realized I was there for them. All of them. As a group, they all drew near and waited while one of them took the card. The curse had been lifted, the bloody walls gone, sunlight shone, and birds chirped. The atmosphere had changed in an instant. It was the magic of flowers and one of the reasons I loved what I did.

Their reaction was what I had come to expect. The man in the hallway, however, baffled me. He had short black hair with flecks of gray, a trimmed beard, and a sharp suit. He looked like the type of man who would normally own any room he walked into, but his flustered response to me gave me the twirlies. Then when I passed him again on my way out, a red mark on his forehead that I hadn't noticed earlier caught my eye before I really focused on him. I'd seen his face somewhere. Recently, too. Without a point of reference, I couldn't place him. I knew for certain that I hadn't seen him in my shop or talked to him at Heartcraft, though, because I would have remembered.

It bothered me all week, like having a word on the tip of your tongue, but you can't seem to pin it down. I even looked through recent orders and tried to see if anything stood out. Nothing. As Saturday morning came around, I was too busy getting ready for my booth at the market to think about it.

Setting up at Heartcraft was essentially like taking my whole shop, loading it, unloading it, and putting it up again. It was a lot of work. My cargo van had been customized with sliding racks for the back that could hold arrangements in vases or bowls, and the interior had a skinny shelf with round cutouts that let me place all the bundles of flowers and foliage that I had.

Luckily, as one of the long-standing vendors and part of Grower's Row , the Grove Hills Library, which hosted Heartcraft Market, provided the stall and canopy that I used. All the local farmers who attended used the same metal pole and green roof setup. The market began specifically as a place to connect customers with fresh, local produce, and soon grew into a big community event that brought in artisan foods, crafters, and more.

I was thankful that I never had to worry about bringing my own canopy or tables, because I would have needed at least two vans to get everything there. It was difficult enough as it was. At least I tended to leave with a lot less than I came with.

My van was backed up to the front of my spot so I could unload before parking it. With my earbuds in and J-Lo in my ears, I set about dropping the small buckets into the holes in the long wooden tables. A hose was nearby for anyone who needed it, and I dragged it over to add enough water to the buckets that it would keep my babies fresh all day. After the water, I carefully organized all of my flowers and fillers by color, creating a rainbow sea inside my tented space. I felt like it was more eye-catching that way, and it made me happy to see it. Who doesn't like a rainbow?

I had a few arrangements already made up for those impulse-buy folks who want what they see in front of them. The rest would be available for me to make custom bouquets for customers. It also helped give a glimpse of what was possible, especially for those browsing for bigger events. It had been how I'd met Carmen and her mom and had gotten hooked up with doing the Barry wedding. She would be on her honeymoon with her new husband now, and it filled me with joy to know that I could help with her special day.

"Oh my God!" I stopped in my tracks as realization hit me. Carmen's wedding! That was where I'd seen the man from the office. I hadn't spoken to him, or I would have put it together right away. He'd been the all-too-serious sage suit guy. It was almost hard to pair up the light green suit with the all-business dark navy one he'd worn at the office. What were the odds that we'd both been at the same wedding? And why had he made such a hurried escape when I asked him?

Weird, but okay, whatevs. I was used to weird. I fixed my sign with the logo for Bearclaw Blossoms, which featured a soft flower frame with a silhouette of a bear's paw in the center, before stepping back to ensure it was level.

Satisfied that everything was as it should be, I moved my van to the designated parking area for vendors and walked back in, stopping to visit with some friends along the way. Collin, Harper's partner, had his booth up and ready and waved me over.

"Hey, Marley, good morning."

Collin was tall and big and would be utterly intimidating if I didn't know how kind he actually was. It was still hard to believe that Harper had taken a look at this man as a stranger in a bar and decided to go for it with him. That must have taken some serious balls, especially as a virgin trying to figure out his sexuality.

"Good morning, Collin. How's everything? How's your gran doing?"

"Oh, she's great! Being a newlywed has made her even more ornery than ever. It's been a big change though. It's hard to stop worrying about someone when you were the one taking care of them all the time."

Collin had taken care of his grandmother until she recently got remarried. "Well, from what I hear, that woman is quite the pistol. I'm sure her new husband has his hands full."

A big grin split his face wide. "He does, but Geoffrey loves it. He says she makes him feel young again. And as hard as it is to let go, I know they're taking care of each other. Besides, it's nice to have a space for ourselves and not have to worry about anyone walking in unannounced."

"Oh, I bet. I'm glad to hear that, though."

"Thanks. And…hey, I never properly thanked you for helping connect me to Harper. I can't imagine my life without him."

My lips tugged up. "It was honestly my pleasure. Seeing you two together brings me so much joy."

"Thanks. We are really happy. And I don't doubt that we would have found each other eventually because it felt as though fate had directed our paths, but with your help, we got there a little faster. So, I, uh, made you something. I'm not really sure what your style is, so I hope this is okay."

Collin reached into a bin behind his table and pulled out a small gift bag. I could swear his cheeks pinked under his full auburn beard.

"You really didn't have to do that. Seeing my friends happy is enough, but I won't turn down a gift. Thank you." In the business I was in, I'd come to learn that getting a gift meant something to the person giving it as well as to the person receiving it, and to turn it down wasn't the gracious act it seemed to be. Receiving gifts hadn't come naturally to me; I much preferred to be on the giving side, but I'd had to learn to be open and appreciative of it.

"Do you want me to open it now, or wait?"

Collin waved his hand dismissively. "Whichever is fine. It's just a silly thing, no biggie. "

"It's not silly if you made it for me."

"I don't even know if you like plushies, so if it's not your thing, feel free to give it away or pass it on."

I gasped as I pulled the tissue paper out to reveal a small stuffed bear with a yellow flower in its paws. It had been carefully crocheted with big eyes and a sweet little smile. "Oh my God! I love it so much, it's adorable! And the flower! It's so cute. Thank you, Collin."

Collin stroked his beard as more color rose in his cheeks. "Okay, good. Harper thought you would like it, but I wasn't sure."

"I do! Thank you, and no, I'm not going to give this away. In fact, I know the perfect spot for him to sit on my counter at work; he'll be like my mascot. He'll be MJ."

"Like Michael Jackson? Are you a fan?" Collin asked with a confused expression on his face.

"No, not really. But it's not Michael Jackson. He's Marley Junior. He's my little baby bear. He's even got a cute, squishy belly just like mine." I patted my stomach for good measure. Collin laughed, and I gave him a hug of appreciation.

I marveled at my adorable MJ all the way back to my booth, where I gave him a place of pride on my front display table. He fit perfectly for my business and knowing that it was made specifically for me made it even better. I got a lot of bear gifts; it came with the territory when you had a themed business name. But I didn't hate it. In fact, just the opposite. I loved getting teddy bears, stickers, or cards with bears on them, thanks from customers, or gifts from friends. Who didn't love bears? Especially not when I'd claimed it for myself.

As a kid, it had been hard to look different from what the media said was beautiful. I'd never been a twig and would never be tall or buff. It wasn't me, no matter how hard I'd tried. And I had, for a while. It came and went in seasons in my young adulthood. But when I had finally embraced myself as I was and let go of what I thought I needed to be, I'd finally found the joy and beauty I'd longed for. It had been there all along and the only thing that had had to change for me to see it was me. Now, here I was at thirty-one, a proud bear. Looking at MJ sitting on my table made me smile.

He had also been a hit with some of the families that came through. MJ was doing a great job in his new role as mascot, attracting the kids who brought their parents over. Parents who admired my flowers and occasionally made a purchase. I'd been sure to point out Collin's booth to find other incredible plushies and crocheted toys, too.

Heartcraft never got old; there were always new people coming to check it out as well as a lot of regulars that I'd gotten to know. The pace and environment made for a nice change of pace from the shop.

"Sarah! So great to see you again! How's your sister doing with the new baby?" A returning customer had recently purchased a bouquet full of soft blues to take to the hospital where her nephew was born.

"She's doing so good. Do you want to see a picture? You probably don't, it's not even someone you know. Sorry, we're all just so in love with the little guy. He's the first baby in the family."

"Of course, I want to see!" Oversharing came with the job, and I loved celebrating with folks, so it was no hard task.

While she scrolled through her phone, showing off chubby cheeks and baby shoes, I caught a glimpse of someone lingering in the distance. With a quick glance over Sarah's shoulder, I saw a man with his back turned to me. A man in a suit. The day was just starting to warm up, and I was already sweating in my gray V-neck tee, with my lightweight, open button-up shirt. How was he wearing a full suit?

It wouldn't be long before Heartcraft switched to evening hours, thank goodness. Because daytime out here in the summer meant instant death. Okay, maybe not, but I would wilt like my flowers. It was hard enough keeping them looking happy when it was ninety-five at seven in the evenings.

After returning my attention to Sarah and the photos, hearing more about the baby, she opted to buy one of the arrangements on the table, hugged me, and said goodbye. I didn't know if she'd been planning to buy something anyway, but showing personal interest never hurt.

The man in the suit was gone. Shame. I was a curious bear, and he had certainly piqued my intrigue. The market wasn't the type of place you would usually see someone in a suit jacket, certainly not on a warm day.

A few more customers came by, forcing me to set my curiosity aside. Except… suit man had returned. Sort of. He did a walk-by, never stopping in front of my booth long enough for me to see his face, but I could have sworn he passed back and forth a few times.

Derek

In another chapter of, ‘ What the hell am I doing ?' I'd found myself leaving work and going to the farmer's market for the first time in my life.

I'd spent most of my week holed up in my office, claiming a cold to keep my distance and doing everything over Zoom or email, all in an effort to pretend as if the whole flower thing had never happened. Despite the fact it had brought a positive response, spurred some renewed enthusiasm and excitement, and increased productivity. Such a simple act had an effect I could not have anticipated.

It was the furthest from simple, though. Not with the way I could see Paul holding back questions every time I saw him. Questions I still couldn't answer. It would be easy enough to say I was interested in someone, it wasn't that my sexuality was a mystery. I was out, but there hadn't been anyone I'd mentioned in a long time. I didn't even really know what had compelled me to ask this man to come to my place of business.

And now here I was; wandering the market, trying to convince myself to either leave or talk to him. Neither option seemed to compel me enough and left me with a few near-misses, walking past his booth, cursing myself the entire time.

"I have built the marketing department from the ground up; I can talk to one person." I got a couple of stares, which made me realize my grumbling was external. Resolve filled me to do… something. Anything.

I threw my hands in the air. "For crying out loud." More stares, which I met with a glare of my own.

Beyond frustrated with myself, I forced my feet to move. Away from Food Alley , though with how good it smelled, I would have been tempted to sample my way across… if I didn't have a boulder sitting heavy in my gut .

Throwing my shoulders back and lifting my head tall, I walked like the fucking CMO I was and charged back to Bearclaw Blossoms .

Standing in front of the flower stand watching Marley use a delicate touch as he placed green leafy bits in between purple flowers made that confidence falter once more.

With his back to me, he shouted over his shoulder. "Hi! Welcome to Bearclaw Blossoms , I'll be with you in just a moment."

His concentration was so intent as he arranged everything with precision. It was admirable to see that kind of attention to detail, something that was an important part of what I did. It also gave me time to analyze my actions and realize I didn't know what I wanted from him or why I was here.

"Thanks, but never mind." I bit out the words and walked away as quickly as I could without looking suspicious.

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I needed to get back to work and focus on our clients. That had always served me well before. I didn't have time for all of this foolishness, anyway. And if I were to talk to him? What then? It wasn't as if I had room in my schedule for a relationship. I shook my head. Who's to say it would even be a relationship? I knew many found me attractive, and I did okay for myself. Money and looks, yes, but did I have anything else to offer someone ?

Fuck that. I didn't need it.

An hour later, I found myself staring at my computer. I had it on a split-screen. One window showed the marketing copy for the perfume ad that I was reviewing, and the other was open to Marley's website.

"Fuck!" I slammed my hand on my desk, causing me to knock over my water glass. "Shit!"

I'd managed to avoid long conversations with Paul that didn't pertain to work all week, and I wasn't about to start now. If I called him in to help me clean up my mess, there would be no getting around it. Instead, I went to my wardrobe, took one of my extra shirts off the hanger, and used it to sop up the spilled water.

Now that shirt would have to go home with me so I could have it cleaned. This whole thing was a mess, and not just the remnant water droplets that were left behind on my desk blotter. I'd been unfair to Paul. He was a good assistant. The best I'd ever had, and I'd blown him off. I couldn't give him an explanation, not one that would make any kind of sense, but I did owe him an apology.

What could I do? My eyes drifted to the screen. That could work. And it would mean I could see him again. Before I could overthink what I was doing, I found myself hitting submit and receiving a confirmation for my order.

I fell back into my chair. "Well…fuck."