Twenty Nine

Sofia – Two Weeks Later

The last two weeks have been weird, to say the least. Mila has started at her new day care, which she loves because her uncles fight over who gets to take her and who gets to pick her up. Picking her up is what they most want because they take her out afterward. It's hilarious to watch two badass mobsters fight over a two-year-old, especially when they ask who she wants, and she chooses Phoebe. I think Al regrets letting them meet. Damian and I have had three counseling sessions so far; today is our fourth, and I know this is where we are diving deeper into his infidelities. I'm not looking forward to it.

We've already spoken about how we met and about our backgrounds, we also talked about what I've been up to since I ran. His question from the last session still runs through my mind:

"Why didn't you date when you left?"

Just after he asked, before I could answer, the timer went off, causing Damian to curse and the therapist, Marvin, to chuckle. I'm brought out of the memories when the doorbell rings. I furrow my brow and go to answer it.

When I open the door, my eyes fill with tears as my best friend Lilly grabs hold of me in a tight hug, while strong arms go around us both. Noah. A sob breaks out as we squeeze each other.

When we pull apart, Noah wipes my tears while Lilly squeezes my hands.

"I can't believe you're really here," I state with a sob and wrap my arms back around them both. When we pull apart for a second time, I get emotional again when I notice a beautiful little boy with his daddy's green eyes and his mama's brown hair standing next to Lilly's guard, Gerald, who smiles wide at me, his eyes glossy. As I walk over to them, he leans down and kisses my cheeks, then gets back in the car, trying to hide his emotions, making me chuckle.

I lift my arms for the beautiful little boy standing near the car, and he comes to me instantly, wrapping his arms around my neck.

I hold him tight and say, "Hello, Ryan. Zia Sofia is so happy to finally meet you in person. You are gorgeous."

His parents smile proudly as Ryan shouts, "Zia!" making us all chuckle.

I place a big kiss on his cheek, making him giggle, and then he goes back to his daddy.

We go inside, and I lead them to the living area. We sit down and talk about everything and anything while Lilly and I cry together. Noah just shakes his head most of the time. Over an hour passes before my husband walks in, and things turn tense. Damian scowls, which he has no right to. I know they’re friends and quite close, so I've been told, and I know I'm a sore subject. But I will not have them upsetting Ryan. So, I get in his face.

"Get that scowl off your face before I decide counselling won't be worth it today. Did they help me? Yes, they did. Do I give a crap about what you think about that? Hell no. You lied, you cheated, not the other way around. So smile, do your bro hug crap, and get over it!"

Both men look at me with their jaws hanging open, and Lilly smirks. I just roll my eyes and pick up Ryan, but he's already on the move, noticing Damian.

"Uncle, Uncle."

And my heart melts, watching them together as Damian lifts Ryan up into his arms. Lilly nudges me, and I turn toward her and give her a sad smile. Then I go toward Damian and take Ryan.

"My turn," I state.

He smirks at me, and I start bouncing the beautiful boy in my arms, making him giggle. From the corner of my eye, I can see Damian soften while he watches me, and then he does the weird bro hug with Noah, causing Lilly and me to giggle.

"I hate to break this up, malyshka, but it's time to go to our appointment before we pick Mila up today." I raise my eyebrow at Damian because I know two uncles who probably wpn’t be happy with that.

Reading my expression, he chuckles, stating, "Yes, they both moaned when I told them we're picking her up today, but tough, shi-luck." I chuckle at his attempt not to swear around Ryan; he's picking up on many bad words lately, according to Lilly.

I grudgingly hand the baby boy back to his parents. Noah smirks, knowing I want more time. "We'll all meet up soon, then I can finally meet my niece, and I can get the best uncle reward." I chuckle, and he gives me a tight hug, making Damian growl, and I roll my eyes.

Lilly comes over and hugs me, too, whispering, "I'm proud of you for giving him a chance. I know it's not easy, and I should be on your side, but I want my best friend home again. I missed you."

I give her a small smile as a tear slides down my cheek, and she wipes it away.

We watch as they get in the car, and Gerald walks up to me and hugs me tight.

"Things haven't been the same without you, sweetheart. Welcome home."

Damian's hand rubs my back as a sob comes out, and I nod in Gerald's chest, squeezing him tight. He was like a surrogate dad to me when I was a teenager, though my dad didn’t approve, and I have missed him dearly. He kisses my forehead, then gives Damian a look that says, 'Look after her this time,' and my husband nods. As soon as they drive off, we go to the car. Damian opens the passenger door for me and helps me in. He leans forward and wipes my tear-stained cheek, then kisses it, before shutting the door.

It takes forty minutes to get to our appointment in downtown New York. We park, then head inside with Damian's hand pressed against my lower back. We check in, then sit and wait while the receptionist looks at my husband like he broke her heart. When she notices me staring, she smirks at me—fucking smirks! I try not to tense, wanting to beat the bitch. Still, Damian grabs my hand and starts to play with my fingers, ignoring the woman staring at us. In contrast, I ignore the tingly feelings all over my body from having him touch me, and wanting to rip my hand away and punch him in the face. How many more women am I going to have to deal with?

Five minutes later, we get called in. We get up, and I give the receptionist a hateful glare and lift my shirt up a little to show where my mini pistol is hiding from view. She quickly looks down. Damian squeezes my hand in warning, and I glare at him. Clearly, they've fucked. He at least has the decency to look guilty and tilts his head a little with sad eyes, as if that will work. If this were the other way around, the person would be dead. Dickhead.

When we get inside, we sit on the couch opposite Marvin. I leave a chunk of space between me and my husband, making him sigh. Marvin smiles at us, but it falls a little when he notices my expression.

"Are you alright, Sofia?" he questions in concern, and Damian clears his throat. I just shrug and state as cooly as I can, despite wanting to nut punch my husband and slice that bitch’s throat, "Why wouldn't I be? If I had a dollar for every one of my husband’s mistresses I've met and watched as they stared at him like he's the love of their lives, I'd be one hell of a rich woman." I give a sweet smile. He looks at Damian, who squirms, and just as he's about to open his mouth to probably ask Damian something to defuse the tension between us, I turn my body, not wanting to let him off the hook—because how many women have I met over the years, who acted nice to me to my face, all the while fucking my husband behind my back?

"Tell me, husband, how would you feel if one of my past lovers announced we've fucked while we were waiting to see a marriage counselor? It would suck, wouldn't it? Probably a bloodbath, right?" I raise my eyebrow. He drops his head in his hands with a sigh, and I look back at Marvin.

"It's best if your receptionist is not in the building from now on when you know we are arriving. Otherwise, you'll have to find another one. I don't take too kindly to a woman who clearly had an affair with my so-called loving husband and makes it known by smirking at me while we wait for this farce because, so far, I don't see why I am doing this. But shall we start?"

I look at Damian, and he pales, probably realizing we've taken ten steps back, no thanks to his lover out in the waiting room.

Marvin clears his throat. "You're here because no matter what Damian has done, you still love him, and you want to see if this can work out, not just for your daughter but also for yourself. So let's continue from last week while Damian does some thinking about being an idiot!" Damian drops his head again, and just as I'm about to say something, I realize what he just said.

Shit.

"So, Sofia, last week I asked a question. Are you ready to answer it?" I feel Damian tense beside me; he moved closer when I was looking at Marvin, and a gush of air hits me as he swings his head my way. I take a deep breath. I promised I would give this a go despite the bitch out front, so I guess I must speak the truth, otherwise, this won't work. And I want it to work? Right?

"He wasn't just my lover, partner, or best friend." I feel Damian tense again, shocked that I'm speaking. So far, I've kept it all nonpersonal; speaking out about the woman out front is the first real emotion I've shown since starting these sessions. I've spoken about growing up with him and his family, my life in Marfa, my friends, and my little girl, but I have never mentioned my love for my husband or the pain he put me through. I don't look at him, though, keeping my eyes on our therapist.

I continue. "He was and is, to this day, the other half of my soul. I have and always will be bound to him." Damian sucks in a sharp breath, but again, I don’t let it deter me.

"He was my whole world, and still is, despite being a part for three years. You can't just move on from that. Well, I can't, anyway, and the thought of another man touching me intimately makes me want to hurl. It makes my skin itch. The love I felt for him, it wasn't a puppy or high school kind of love, it was consuming, from mind to body and soul. It was and is a part of me." I look at my hands in my lap, not wanting to see Damian's reaction, and keep looking at them when Marvin asks the one question I knew was coming.

"Then I ask, why leave? Why run instead of confronting Damian?"

I look up at him so he can see my answer as I say it. It's a good thing he's part of the Mafia.

"I wasn't going to; I was going to confront him. That's why I recorded what I saw." This time, I look at Damian, and he seems like he's in pain.

He states, "What the fuck do you mean you were going to confront me? You told me that in Marfa, but I thought you were just trying to save yourself. What changed? Why didn't you confront me? If you had, we could have sorted this out years ago, Sofia!" He's breathing heavily by the end, but I don't flinch. Marvin puts his hand up.

"Let her speak, Damian." Then he looks at me. "Why did you decide not to confront him?" he asks soothingly, probably hoping to calm Damian.

I look Damian in the eyes when I say, "Because I found out a day before our wedding on my birthday, after Mattia attacked me, that the baby was a she, and I wasn't going to let you and our families bargain her off like you did to me. You all used me and sold me off like cattle. You acted like my friend and manipulated me. Do you really think I would have let you do that to our daughter, Damian? No, I wouldn't have. Why do you think I had that paperwork in the first place? I told you this back in Texas. I wasn't talking out of my ass, Damian, I was telling you the truth.

Did you even know me at all? You should have known I would have confronted you. I was already planning to cut your disease-riddled dick off and skin you alive! Three years—three fucking years—and I have not been with anyone else. Can you say the same? How about we even the playing field? Then maybe you would know how I am feeling right now and have felt since I fucking left your ass?" I shout the last bit, and he pales. I turn back to face our therapist. He smiles at me.

"I'm proud of you, Sofia. You've been keeping things close to the chest since we started; this is progress." He then looks at Damian, and I know what he's about to say, and my heart drops. I don't want to hear this, and I physically start to tremble. I can't hear this; it'll break every wall I put up between me and the pain I feel.

"Damian, I know this is something neither of you want to discuss, but for Sofia to move forward and to give you both a real shot, she needs to know about the past three years. We haven't broached the subject, but with Sofia finally opening up, I think it's time you did as well, and hopefully, we can start to move forward. Take your time."

I look back at my lap. If I look at him when he says these things, then I'll either grab his gun or mine and kill him, or I'll burst into tears, and I really don't know which one I'd prefer.

Damian clears his throat, his voice full of emotion as he rasps, "I haven't physically slept with another woman since a week before our wedding." I tense, but I don't look up from my lap, letting him continue.