Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“ Y our sister, the Viscountess of Kensington, is here to see you, My Lady,” Lucy announced from the doorway. Madeleine poked her head out from beneath the covers, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks. She had asked to be left alone for the morning, stating that she was not feeling well, but Lucy was clearly ignoring that order.

Emily swept into the room, not waiting for permission. She looked much better than she had the last time that they had spoken with one another. “I have been informed that you are not feeling well. You are sniffling. Have you come down with an ague?”

Madeleine shook her head. “No, I am simply tired.”

Emily came around to sit on the edge of the bed nearest Madeleine and frowned down at her in concern. “You have been crying. What has happened?”

Madeleine had not planned on telling anyone anything about what had transpired between herself and Percy, but with Emily sitting there, her face wreathed in loving concern, she ended up pouring her heart out. “Percy and I are no longer courting.”

“Why? What happened? Did he hurt you?” Emily reached out to take Madeleine’s hand in sympathy. “Shall I have Father or Cecil speak with him?”

Madeleine shook her head. “It was never real between us.”

Emily’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“It was a ruse. We were pretending to care for one another so that Father would not make me wed Herbert Mowbray or some other equally unpleasant suitor,” Madeleine explained.

Emily looked at her in shock. “But I saw the two of you together. You do care for one another. It was plain for all to see. No one is that good of an actor.”

Tears started pouring down Madeleine’s cheeks once more. “He is in love with someone else.”

“Who?”

“Her name was Miss Francis Rosiland Belmont. They were betrothed. She died in a terrible carriage accident after having been ill for some time. That is all that I know of her.” Madeleine sobbed even harder at the thought of the pain that Percy must have felt with the loss of his betrothed.

Emily gathered Madeleine into her arms. “You love him.” It was not a question. It was a statement. Unfortunately for Madeleine, it was a statement of undeniable truth.

“I did not mean to,” she sobbed, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. “I do not know how it happened. One moment, I was angry with him, the next moment, he was walking away, and my heart felt as if it was made of shattered glass.”

Emily brushed the hair back from Madeleine’s tear-stained cheeks. “Have you told him how you feel?”

Madeleine shook her head. “I have not. I cannot.”

“Why not?”

“He believes that he is cursed and that anyone whom he loves will die.”

Emily frowned in confusion. “Why would he believe such a thing?”

“Because all of the people that he has loved have indeed died. His mother died when we were children. His father died when he was but a young man, and then his betrothed died soon thereafter. He fled England to remove himself from the place of his pain, and then I dragged him back into it with my deception.”

Emily shook her head. “How did you do that?”

“When people saw us together, they began to gossip about his curse and how they believed that I was going to be the next victim of it. I fear that this gossip caused him further pain.”

“You are not responsible for the actions of others. The English ton will gossip no matter what is happening. If the gossip was not about you and Percy, it would have been about another poor unfortunate soul. If their gossip did cause Percy pain, then it is up to him to come to terms with that. You are not responsible.” Emily studied Madeleine’s face. “Do you believe him to be cursed?”

“I do not,” Madeleine answered emphatically.

“Then go after what you want.”

“But…”

Emily shook her head. “But nothing. You love him, do you not?”

“Unfortunately.”

Emily laughed. “Love is not unfortunate. Look at how happy our parents are with one another. Look at the Viscount and me. We are blissfully in love with one another.”

“There is no reason to tell him that I love him.”

“No reason?”

“I have no desire to marry anyone.”

“Not even the man you love?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Emily’s tone showed her bafflement.

“I do not wish to have children. If I wed, I will be forced to provide an heir.”

Emily’s brows rose in surprise once more. “You are wonderful with children. I have seen how much you love them. Mother and I used to note that if you were not a well-born lady of the nobility, you would have made a marvelous governess. Why would you not want a child of your own?”

“I do not want to die.”

Emily sat in silence for a moment. Drawing a breath, she cocked her head to the side, her face taking on an empathetic expression. “It is true that we women can perish in childbirth. I will not attempt to convince you otherwise, but that does not mean that all women die.” She studied Madeleine’s face for a moment longer. “Does this have to do with Percy’s mother dying in childbirth?”

Madeleine was surprised by her sister’s insight into her inner thoughts. “Yes. How did you know?”

“I remember how badly affected you were by the Duchess’ death.”

“I did not think that you had noticed. Mother needed you and Father beside her at the time. Percy needed Cecil but would not allow anyone else to bring him comfort. I thought I needed to grieve alone. I will never forget that day. I can still see it in my mind now: the Duke on his knees weeping for the loss of his wife and child, Percy standing stoically with Cecil by his side. The pain in his eyes haunts me to this day. I swore right there and then that I would never be responsible for causing that kind of pain to those that I loved.”

“I am sorry that you felt you had to endure that day alone. I am always here for you, Madeleine. Even when I must attend to others, my heart is always with you. You are never alone.”

Madeleine gave her sister a watery smile, and they hugged. “Thank you.”

Emily sat back and wiped the tears from Madeleine’s cheeks. “Now, let us get you up out of this bed and into the sunshine. Shall we promenade along the canal? We can speak further of this business about love and marriage out in the open air. It will do you good.”

Madeleine nodded and moved back the covers so that she could crawl out of bed. The moment that her feet hit her bedside rug, her head felt like the world was spinning around her. Within the next moment, she had slipped into blackness. The last thing that she heard was Emily crying out her name as she fell to the floor.

“Madeleine!”

Percy was sitting at White’s reading the paper and trying not to think about Madeleine when her brother came charging through the club. Spotting Percy, Cecil stormed over to where he sat and glared down at him ferociously. He looked as if he wanted to punch Percy in the face. At first, Percy thought that maybe he was mad at him for calling off his courtship with Madeleine, but the fear he saw beneath the anger in his friend’s eyes said otherwise.

“What has happened?” Percy asked. Concern for his friend wrinkled his brow.

“Madeleine has fainted and has not come around. I must find Dr. Moberly. I was informed that he was here. Is this you? Is this your curse?” he demanded to know. “Have you done this to her?”

Percy shook his head. “I am no longer courting your sister. I called an end to our association at the Chesterfield ball.”

“That does not mean that you do not love her,” Cecil pointed out accusingly.

Percy opened his mouth to argue that he was not in love with Madeleine, but he could not do so with a full surety of truth, so he offered to help Cecil find the doctor instead. “I believe that I saw the good doctor in the library. He was reading a recently published medical text.”

Cecil nodded and turned toward the club’s library. Percy arose and followed after him. The two men found Dr. Moberly muttering to himself over a dissection diagram. “Dr. Moberly,” Cecil interrupted. The doctor was so absorbed in his task that he did not look up at first.

“Dr. Moberly,” Percy raised his voice with a stern edge of concern. He would not be ignored.

The physician looked up, peering at Cecil and Percy over his glasses. “Ah, Your Grace, and Lord Cecil Gillett, how may I be of service, My Lords?”

“Miss Madeleine has fainted and will not awaken. We are in need of your assistance,” Cecil explained impatiently.

The physician nodded. He closed the book that he was studying and left it on the table. Standing, he followed Cecil out of the club with Percy on their heels. All three men climbed into the Gillett family carriage and headed for the Gillett’s townhouse. Upon their arrival, Cecil and Percy jumped out of the carriage, and the doctor followed them into the house.

“Mr. Greeves, please see His Grace, the Duke of Greyhall, to the library,” Cecil ordered, not giving Percy a backward glance as he led the physician up to his sister’s room. It was clear that he was blaming Percy for what was happening. Percy was not certain whether he was right or wrong.

“Your Grace, if you would follow me,” Mr. Greeves requested respectfully.

As much as Percy wanted to barge past the butler and up to Madeleine’s room to see her with his own eyes, he knew that he should not. Instead, he followed Mr. Greeves to the library as instructed. He did not sit down but paced back and forth, waiting impatiently for news of Madeleine’s condition. The butler, taking pity upon him, brought him a tray of tea along with a snifter of brandy. Percy gave him a thankful nod and downed the brandy, not bothering with the tea.

Time seemed to crawl as he waited for news of Madeleine’s condition. When the physician finally emerged from Madeleine’s room, Cecil and the Earl joined Percy in the library. “She fainted due to lack of proper sustenance. She has not been eating properly, and it has weakened her. She cannot continue to eat so little and sustain herself. It will continue to have detrimental effects upon her health unless she immediately resumes a normal, healthy diet,” Dr. Moberly explained.

“Thank you, Dr. Moberly.” The Earl paid the physician then sent him on his way.

Cecil turned to Percy, his eyes angry and accusing. “This is because of us. We used to mock her as children, and she took it to heart. I think it would be best if you left here, now.”

“I did not know,” Percy breathed, the agony of his guilt gripping his heart like a vise.

“It matters not. The damage has been done.” Cecil gestured for Percy to leave.

Percy nodded, accepting Cecil’s verdict. Shame and worry caused his shoulders to sag wearily as he moved towards the door. “I am sorry,” he murmured as he passed his friend.

“It is too late for that,” Cecil snapped, angry tears in his eyes as he turned his back on his friend.

Percy left the Gillett abode alone, the weight of his sins and the world upon his back.

Madeleine awoke to find her entire family standing over her with worried looks upon their faces. After speaking with the doctor, she ate then took a nap to regain her strength. “Dr. Moberly said that I would be well as long as I remembered to eat as I should. There is no need to worry,” she reminded them.

“I think that we should reschedule the annual dinner party,” her father stated.

“There is no need,” Madeleine argued. “Besides, did the doctor not say that I should eat? What better time to eat than a dinner party?”

Her father chuckled in amusement at her reasoning. “If you are certain.”

“I am,” she confirmed. “Now go and do what you need to do. There is no need to hover.”

Nodding, her father kissed her forehead and offered his arm to the Countess. “Shall we leave our daughter to rest and recover in peace?”

“As you say, my dear,” the Countess agreed, throwing Madeleine a kiss from her fingertips. “I will return to look in on you shortly.”

“There is no need, Mother. All is well.”

“Nevertheless, I shall return,” the Countess promised before leaving the room with her husband.

Cecil moved to sit on the side of her bed. He took her hand in his. “Is this because of me?” His eyes were filled with shame and concern.

Madeleine shook her head. “I simply forgot to eat. I was upset and did not eat or drink anything.”

“Dr. Moberly said that you had not been eating enough for some time.”

“That is true, but this had nothing to do with that. I will do better in the future., I promise.”

“Percy told me of the end of your courtship. I assume that is what upset you.”

Madeleine did not meet his eyes. She did not want to admit to the truth. “It is not his fault,” she attempted to reassure him.

“It is his fault. I blame him for this.”

“Do not blame him. He was clear in his terms of our courtship. I am the one who has violated them.”

“Terms?”

“He was honest about his curse and that he would never love me and that I should not love him. It is I who broke the agreement.”

“You love him,” Cecil remarked. It was not a question but a realization. “You went into your courtship knowing that he could never love you, and yet you did so anyway.” His eyes showed his thought process as his mind leapt from one conclusion to the other. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“I did not wish to wed the man of Father’s choice.”

“Herbert Mowbray,” Cecil nodded in understanding. “A good enough title from father’s perspective, I suppose, but he is not the man for you. I have always found him to be weak-willed, even to the point of cowardice at times. His gambling habits alone would leave you penniless once he came into his inheritance. I would not have any sister of mine wed to such a man.”

“Indeed,” Madeleine agreed. “Percy was a known entity. He was safe, or so I thought. I never planned to fall in love with him. Loving him is quite inconvenient.”

Cecil chuckled in spite of himself. He gave his sister a sympathetic look. “I am sorry that you are feeling such pain. I had always hoped for a love match for you as our mother and father so enjoy. My objection to your match with Percy was based off that wish. I knew that he could never allow himself to love you, and that if he did, he would leave you to keep you from experiencing danger.”

“I do not believe in his curse.”

“Nor do I, but death surrounds him regardless of my beliefs. I did not wish for you to be a part of that dark shadow. When you fainted, I was afraid that the curse was indeed real.”

Madeleine shook her head. “I am not a victim of any curse other than that of my own heart and mind.”

Cecil gave her a sympathetic look. “Shall I speak with him on your behalf? Perhaps beat some sense into him?”

Madeleine laughed. “I thank you for the offer, but no. I do not wish for you to speak with him or to beat him.”

“The offer remains open,” Cecil reassured her, patting her hand. “Just say the word.”

“I appreciate it.” She smiled fondly at her brother. “Now go so that I can rest before Mother returns to fuss over me.”

Nodding, Cecil rose, kissed her on the forehead, and left her to rest in peace.

Madeleine turned her eyes to the window, watching the birds flit about, enjoying the sunshine. She had always believed herself to be a free bird, just as they were, but she felt trapped in a gilded cage, longing for the freedom to do as she wished. Now all that she could think about was Percy and the absence of him from her life. She did not understand how her mind and heart could have been so changed.

His words from the ball echoed through her mind. She knew that he was right. She would not be able to hold off her father for long. Now that he knew that her and Percy’s courtship was over, he would waste no time in attempting to marry her off to Herbert Mowbray. Where her father saw stability, she saw boredom. Where her father saw amiability, she saw spinelessness. Where her father saw tradition, she saw a prison. It was a terrible match, and she was as determined as ever to avoid it.

Perhaps Percy was right. Perhaps I should consider marrying Hamish MacElroy. He would never force himself upon me if I refused to allow him into our marriage bed. I could find ways to avoid conceiving a child. Hamish would not despise me for it. He is an intellectual man. He would understand. He is not a drunkard or gambler nor is he a coward or weak of will. He is pleasing to look upon and is as muscular as Percy. Perhaps he could help me to forget the feel of Percival Hardy’s hands and mouth upon my body.

She doubted that anything could remove the memory of the Duke of Greyhall, from his hands to his mouth to his eyes, as the man had infiltrated every aspect of her being down to her very soul, but she prayed with all of her strength that it would be so. She prayed with all of her heart, mind, and spirit that she would somehow forget the only man that she had ever loved.