EPILOGUE

Leora

ONE MONTH LATER

I realized that there was a limit to grief. At a particular point it was unwillingly morphed into acceptance until you're left with nothing but the memories. That happened to me one day. It was a regular day at the Blackthorn security office. Planning. Plotting. Completing smaller assignments for a bigger goal of getting to Garret motherfucking Tyson.

Jerome Tyson had given us nothing and after a week of ‘questioning' by Sebastian, he killed himself with a key that some junior officer had left in his interrogation room. Who knew that if you're willing, you can find your carotid artery in four attempts.

It had been three weeks since that incident and Zarek and I were in a robotic rhythm of working and mandatory therapy. Yesterday, however, was different. He asked if I wanted to fly to Toronto to visit my parents, and I said yes.

The moment I crossed the threshold I crumpled in my dad's arms and cried for hours. My mom got help from Zarek in the kitchen and we all had a rather solemn dinner together.

I learnt that the visit did two things for me. One, it gave me a familiar safe space to fall apart. Two, it made me realize that no matter what, grief doesn't end. It just metamorphoses into something more tolerable.

I once read that grief is like a ball in a box with a pain button on one side. Initially, the ball is large, constantly activating the button, but over time, it shrinks. The hits become less frequent, yet each impact is as sharp as ever.

"Are you planning to stay in New York, then?" my dad asked as we sat for breakfast the next morning.

I glanced at Zarek and he shrugged with one shoulder.

I swallowed my mouthful of eggs, "We're not sure where we want to operate from just yet. It seems New York is the best option for now."

My dad nodded, "Have you thought about a funeral? You said he didn't have any family."

Zarek jumped in, "We thought about it, Oliver. But we're going to have a small wake instead of a funeral. It'll be in New York. We'd love to have you if you can."

"I'm so sorry again, honey. I know he was your close friend," my mom gave Zarek a hesitant smile.

Zarek gave her a pained smile but kept his calm. I'd been observing him these past few weeks. He had been detached. He barely talked to Dylan in fears of unearthing conversations about Logan. I knew Dylan was hurting too. Every now and then, I'd find Dylan pacing in front of Logan's room in the Blackthorn building.

The squad had become uncharacteristically quiet.

???

After breakfast, we flew back to New York in the afternoon. Amelia and Dylan had also gone back to San Diego to visit their youngest sister Iris who was two years younger than Amelia. Kabir couldn't fly back to India to visit his family since it was a long fifteen-hour flight and he feared he'd miss too much work.

So, when we arrived at the Blackthorn building, it was only Zarek, Kabir, Sebastian, Delara, Ronan, Zane, and I who gathered for an early dinner. Like the meals before, this one also hung heavy with an intolerable silence. Whenever the team would gather, Logan's absence was felt starkly and pained beyond comprehension.

After dinner, Zarek shared a look with Sebastian, receiving a quiet thumbs up in response. Leaning close, his breath caressed my ear as he whispered, "Come with me, Mi Corazón?"

Intrigued, I followed him to the elevator, watching as he selected the top floor.

"Are we going shopping again?" I teased, earning a soft laugh.

"Sort of," he replied, his voice hinting at a secret.

The elevator doors parted to reveal a glass covered bridge to the other Blackthorn building. We continued on to the path after entering the building and turned right, beyond which lay a rooftop garden, its fairy lights casting a soft glow. But Zarek led me first to one of two doors before the garden. With a key, he unlocked it, and I half expected an impersonal hotel space. My gaze swept over the matte gray kitchen, the cozy light gray couch facing a large TV, and a door that hinted at a bedroom beyond.

This is an apartment.

What truly caught my attention was the warmth of the place, the walls adorned with photos of our squad, my family, and Logan, each frame a snippet of our intertwined lives, making this new space feel unexpectedly like home.

I turned to Zarek, shock widening my eyes. In the dim light from the garden window, his eyes glistened.

"This is one of the four empty apartments in the building. I asked Sebastian for the best one. I don't think the room downstairs would be enough for us," Zarek gave me a smile, the one I hadn't seen in about a month.

Extending his hand, I laced my fingers through his, following him to the expansive windows. Pausing at the sliding door, he flashed a nervous smile, then guided me into the crisp New York air of the secluded rooftop garden.

In the heart of the balcony, a quaint table with two chairs beckoned, serenaded by soft tunes from a Bluetooth speaker, accompanied by chilled champagne and flutes.

I quickly realized the song was Rose by Honest Men.

Venturing deeper into the garden's embrace, I admired the coral roses bordering our secluded nook. The stone beneath my feet tested my balance, but I didn't know whether it was my three inch heels or my fluttering heart.

"Zarek, this is—" I spun around.

The sight made all the words clog in my throat. There Zarek was, kneeling, his hands holding a small blue velvet box.

"Leora, you came into my life and I knew you would throw everything I had planned into chaos. A chaos I didn't realize I would eventually embrace and begin to cherish. I fell in love with you easily, because there was no other alternative for me, baby. The fears, the uncertainties I had, flew out the window the day you asked me to kiss you," he said, gently opening the box to reveal a teardrop-shaped diamond, elegantly set on a gold band. "This ring… Logan was supposed to be here, handing it to me. He was keeping it hidden for me. I couldn't bring myself to retrieve it from his room, not until now. I found it with a note from him."

Zarek reached into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled note, and handed it to me. I opened the note's delicate folds with trembling hands.

If you're reading this, it means I'm not there to give this to you in person. Bummer, right? I had this epic suit ready and everything. Just so you know, I totally planned to object at your wedding—for the laughs, obviously. You dodged a bullet there! Look after my sister, Zarek, and don't screw it up! - LC

Laughter mixed with tears bubbled up inside me, the note so quintessentially Logan. I looked back at Zarek and his smile melted away all my lingering pain. He was happy, and so was I.

"So, Leora ‘Doc' Mateez, will you take this chaotic mess that is me to be your husband?"

I knelt in front of him, laughing with tears running down my cheeks. "Yes, baby, yes! God yes!"

His grin stretched wide as he slid the ring onto my finger, then he pulled me into a fervent kiss. His tongue explored mine with a hunger filled with love, need, and a touch of desperation. His hands were everywhere, one in my hair, the other drawing me close. I tipped into him, and we tumbled to the ground, still locked in our passionate embrace, our laughter mingling with our tears.

Breaking away breathlessly, I quipped, "Was our trip to Toronto just so you could ask my parents for their blessing?"

Zarek's laughter warmed the chilly night air, his nod confirming my suspicion. Playfully, I tapped his chest, then sealed our promise with another deep, loving kiss.

We were ready for our forever. And with Zarek, forever felt like a promise I couldn't wait to keep.

THE END