40. Nik

Chapter 40

Nik

As usual, ever since Kat barged into my life and turned it upside down, my temper flares before I can stop it. Again. I kick my bedroom door open, and it slams against the wall with a loud bang . Unnecessary? Sure. Satisfying? Absolutely.

Kat practically jumps out of her skin, a sharp gasp escaping her lips. Her wide eyes lock on mine, and the relief that floods her face is almost enough to take the edge off my frustration.“Thank God,” she whispers, scrambling off the bed. “You’re alive.”

Before I can get a word out, she launches herself at me, her arms wrapping tightly around my neck. Her legs hook around my waist like it’s something she’s been doing her whole life. Seems like this is her thing now. Not that I’m complaining.

She’s trembling as she clings to me, her face buried in the crook of my neck. I feel her take a deep inhale, and I pull back slightly, frowning.

“Did you just… smell me?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

She leans back just enough to meet my eyes, completely unfazed. “Oh, yeah. And I’m about to taste you, too.”

And God help me, true to her word, she does.

Her lips crash into mine, and the world shifts. The kiss is pure Kat—wild, fierce, and all-consuming. Her tongue curls around mine, and I tighten my grip on her, pulling her as close as I can. It’s still not close enough. It never will be.

Then, just as quickly as it began, it’s over. She pulls back, her palms pressed against my chest as she catches her breath. Her lips are swollen and red, her eyes darting over my face like she’s searching for something, and all I can think about is how much I already miss her mouth on mine.

“Wait,” she says, her voice shaky. “Are you hurt? Let me look at you.”

I shake my head, still trying to get my brain back online. “Looking’s overrated,” I mutter, my voice rough. “Why don't you just go back to tasting me instead?”

She doesn’t listen. Instead, she fixes me with those sharp, assessing eyes, scanning every inch of me like she’s expecting me to keel over at any moment.

“I’m fine,” I mutter, scoffing as she fusses. It’s an unfamiliar sensation—unsettling, even. I can’t remember the last time anyone cared enough to check if I made it back in one piece. Hell, I’m not sure anyone ever has.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she shoots back, her tone firm as she continues her inspection, undeterred by my grumbling.

I roll my eyes and spin in place, throwing my arms out wide. “See? Totally fine. Not a scratch on me. Happy?”

She arches an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Hmm,” she muses, her voice dripping with feigned skepticism. “I’m not convinced. Why don’t you take your clothes off so I can be sure?”

Her eyes glint with playful mischief, and I find myself grinning despite my earlier frustration. I grab her hand, tugging her gently toward me. “Come here,” I murmur, my lips brushing against hers.

She loops her arms around my neck and plants a quick, almost dismissive kiss on my lips before pulling back. “So, how’d it go?” she asks, her smile warm but expectant.

“Can we talk about this later?” I sigh, already knowing the answer.

“No way,” she says firmly. "I’ve been sitting here for hours, biting my nails and losing my mind wondering what happened to you. I’m not waiting another second.”

Shaking my head, I lean in, brushing my lips against the soft, sweet-smelling curve of her neck. “Then, kiska , we’ve got a problem. Because I’ve been dreaming about having you in my arms all day, and I'm not fucking waiting, either.”

She groans, swatting at my chest. “Be serious.”

I nip her earlobe, my voice low. “I’ve never been more serious in my life. I warned you we’d finish this later.”

She rolls her eyes, pushing at my chest again. “The sooner you tell me what happened with McGuire, the sooner we can get to that.”

I curse under my breath, giving her the best scowl I can muster. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

She shrugs, smirking.. “Duh. And we both know you wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, spill. What happened?”

Grinding my teeth, I finally relent. “Let’s just say the only good thing about this goddamn day was coming home to find your pretty ass in my bedroom—on my bed, no less.”

Her smirk fades, replaced by a small frown. “So, no luck finding McGuire?”

I shake my head. “No. The intel was bad—or outdated. He was gone.”

She steps closer, wrapping her arms around me. The unexpected hug almost undoes me. Heat creeps up my neck, and I’m absurdly relieved she can’t see it with her head pressed against my chest. Hesitant, I wrap my arms around her.

“Oh, well,” she says softly. “Nobody’s hurt, right?”

“No, but?—”

“Then it’s still a win in my book,” she cuts in.

I scoff at that. “A win? Are you kidding me? The bastard came after you, and he’s still breathing. That’s not a win, Kat.”

She waves a hand dismissively. “You’re back home. That’s all that matters.”

I shake my head, my voice rough. “You don’t get it. I can’t rest until he’s dead

“Why?” she snaps, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. Her hands fist the fabric of my sweater, shaking me like she’s trying to jolt sense into me. “Why does it have to be like this? Is it worth it? What’s the point? Killing him won’t bring Maxim back. It won’t change anything. And if it’s too dangerous for me, how is it not for you? I was in hell while you were gone. Don’t you get it? If something happens to you, it’ll destroy me. If you ask me?—”

Her words cut through me like a blade, sharp and relentless. Before she can say more, I pull her to me and crush my mouth to hers.

It’s not a kiss of passion. It’s a desperate attempt to silence her, to stop the ache her words are tearing through me. When I pull back, I press my forehead to hers, my breath ragged.

“You heartless woman,” I rasp, my voice unsteady. “Before you say anything else that rips me apart, you need to listen to me. I’m not a good man, Kat. Never have been. But for you…” I pause, my chest tightening as I try to find the words. “For you, I’ve tried.”

Her breath hitches, her grip on my sweater loosening. I pull her closer, my hands clutching her like she might slip through my fingers.

“You were right,” I say, my voice low and hoarse. “I’m used to taking what I want. By force, if I have to. No hesitation. But with you…” I trail off, my throat thick. “I can’t do it. That’s why I’ve been holding back, trying to give you space, trying to give you a choice. Because for some reason, with you, it’s not enough to just have you. I need to know that you want this. That you’re choosing me.”

Her lips part slightly, her eyes searching mine as her fingers brush against my chest as if she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it.

“I couldn’t take it if I thought, even for a second, that you didn’t want me the way I want you,” I say quietly. “So, yeah, I’ve tried to be good. But it’s killing me. The more time I spend with you, the harder it gets. And when you say things like that, knowing how I feel, knowing I’m waiting for you to decide... Kat, you’re killing me.”

Her brows knit together, her expression torn as she shakes her head. “Nik?—”

“No,” I cut her off, my voice sharper than I intend. “Let me finish.” My hand moves to the back of her neck, my fingers tangling in her hair, tilting her face so she has no choice but to look at me. “I’m done, Kat. Done pretending I can be good. Done pretending I can hold back. This is your last chance. You’ve got ten seconds to leave this room. If you don’t feel the same, if you don’t want this—don’t want me —then go. Now. I’ll let you go. Somehow.”

Her eyes lock on mine, wide and uncertain, her breath coming fast.

“But if you stay,” I continue, my voice dropping to a low whisper, “if you stay, Kat, this is it. You’re mine. And I’m yours. For better or worse. Forever.”

The air between us feels electric, charged with everything left unsaid. She doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, her wide eyes locked with mine, and my chest tightens, every second dragging like an eternity as I wait.

And then, with her usual heart-wrenching, reckless certainty, she grabs the front of my sweater, yanks me down, and crashes her lips into mine.