Chapter 21

Twenty-One

What am I supposed to do now?

Throughout the history of our sexual encounters, Lucien and I had never lingered… after. We had always parted company quickly, disappearing as rapidly as we had arrived, only to meet again sometimes days after the fact with barely a word spoken since.

Or during.

Or after.

Repeat.

This time, it was different. This time, Lucien was still here. There was nowhere for either of us to run, not that I felt like he wanted to. Not like I wanted to, either. There was something about laying on the bed next to him like this that had my heart going a mile a minute and my brain chasing after it.

I wanted to shut my thoughts down and just feel, but that was difficult at the best of times. So, I thought, and analyzed, and overanalyzed, all the while trying not to distance myself too much from the pleasurable tingles still rippling through me.

Lucien slowly slid into the bed.

He seemed cool, calm, and entirely collected. Silence hung in the air for a moment, tense, palpable—a moment pregnant with anticipation. I squeezed my thighs shut and looked across to him, waiting for him to speak because I felt like it wasn't my place to say anything. Not yet.

Not first.

In the dark, Lucien Diaboli met my eyes. "You're thinking it, too," he said.

"What am I thinking?" I asked.

"What happens now."

I swallowed. "I am… but only because I've never been here before. We're used to… parting company."

"That was before I knew you."

I paused again. "And now?"

"Whether either of us wanted to leave, we can't."

"I… don't want to leave. But I'm also not sure what happens next."

"I'm going to tell you what happens next," he said, "But not right now."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I want you to answer a question, first."

My frown deepened; my heartrate elevated. "What's… what's the question?"

Lucien paused, a moment that seemed to stretch to fill the darkness between us. "Do you trust me?"

No.

The thought came instantly. I couldn't shake it, because that was how I genuinely felt. I could only chastise myself for thinking it so quickly. There had been a few coincidences in the past that made me wonder whether Lucien had some sort of telepathic abilities; which meant it was possible he had heard that thought.

I didn't think it was as easy as that, and I was pretty sure I would have sensed the intrusion, but he already knew so much about me and the things I liked… it wasn't totally impossible to believe he had access to my thoughts.

How else would he have known that calling me a good girl awakened something inside of me I never knew was there?

"I want to," I said, toeing the honesty line.

"What stops you?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't want to go into the why. You know why."

"I do."

"Then why ask?"

"Because I wanted to know whether you would lie to me."

"How do you know I'm not lying?"

"You would have said yes if you were lying. Instead, you told me where I stand. I know I have work to do if I want to earn your trust. What I want you to know is, I am trying to earn it."

"How do I know you're not just going to discard me once your mission is complete?"

"You don't. All I can do is reassure you."

"I don't know if I trust anyone, Lucien. How can I?"

Lucien paused. "I am not him." Another paused. "I'm… more like my mother, in almost every way."

"Your mom…" I breathed. "What… was she like?"

"She was strong. Powerful. Respected."

"Feared?"

"By some… though not because she ever did anything to warrant anyone's fear. I never saw my mother lift a finger to hurt anyone, but she was an accomplished witch. Few could rival her power… her command over the creatures that haunt our family was unique."

"I thought you needed the Engine for that."

"Most Diaboli need the Engine, my mother didn't. She could keep the demons under control just with her magic and strong will, but when she passed… my father became obsessed with retrieving it. He always had been to some extent—usually encouraged heavily by my grandfather—but when we lost mom, I think something snapped and he let it consume him. I knew I didn't want to go down the same path, so I started studying her work, trying to learn how she did it. I haven't quite figured it out yet. "

"Your mom sounds amazing."

"She was. I've learned a lot from her."

"I thought your father said he taught you everything you know."

Lucien shook his head. "My father taught me violence, and weapons. My mother taught me compassion… empathy, quiet confidence. She also taught me how to cook."

I smiled, even though he couldn't see me properly in the darkness. "So, that's where you get it."

"She loved to cook. One day I asked her to teach me how to make pancakes. I was barely eight years old, and they were probably disgusting. But I developed a love for cooking, for baking. I still can't walk past a bakery without thinking about her."

That actually made a lot of sense. I had never seen any of the violence he supposedly picked up from his father, but he had showed me compassion and empathy at almost every turn, and his food was delicious. I let his words hang in the air for a moment before venturing. "How did she…?"

Lucien didn't answer straight away. "She had enemies. Within and without."

"Within?"

"Those who feared her power wanted her gone. They succeeded."

"Lucien…" I found my hand darting over to find his.

He tried to shrug away from my touch, but I persisted, and took his hand anyway.

"What happened to her?" I pressed.

"I… still don't know for certain. But I know her death wasn't the accident everyone told me it was."

"I'm so sorry."

"With everything that's happened to you lately, at the hands of my family no less, I would never expect you to feel sorry for me."

"No, but I do anyway." I shuffled a little closer to him.

"It's more than I deserve."

I traced my fingers along his forearm, feeling goose flesh break out underneath them. I decided to let my hand trail all the way up his bicep, to his shoulder, to his chest… then trail down along his stomach.

He grabbed my hand just as it reached the lip of his briefs. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice firm.

"I…" I paused. Had I misread the situation? "You made me relax before. I wanted to do the same for you."

Another pause lingered. "Not without asking permission, first," he said. "Is that understood?"

Woah.

Excited heat flushed through me. "I'm… sorry," I said, semi-breathless.

"Now, tell me what you want."

I licked my lips, my heart racing again. I leaned closer to him, so close our lips were almost touching. "You made me come with your mouth," I said, "I want to make you come with mine."

"That's not how you ask for permission," he said.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

"Please, Lucien…" I paused. "Will you let me wrap my mouth around your dick?"

Even in the dark, I saw his lip curl into a slight grin. "Better." He released my hand.

Entirely breathless, now, I let my hand slide even lower, until my fingers brushed against the shaft of his cock. He was already hard, the length of him filling one entire side of his briefs. I felt his chest rise as my fingers gently glid along his shaft, all the way to the wet patch at his tip, then all the way back down to the base, then up again.

"Don't tease," he warned.

"You teased me."

"Because I can. You don't have permission."

"I think I understand," I whispered, and I readjusted my positioning, sliding down along the side of his body, tossing the bedcovers off the bed as I went and finding a comfortable spot between his legs.

I was incredibly wet, and already aching for him to give me a second climax, but this wasn't about just me anymore—it was about him, too.

Carefully I slipped my fingers into his waistband and tugged, slowly, until I felt his cock spring out of them. I kept pulling, making sure to free all of him, but keeping his underwear on him at the same time.

I slowly ran my fingertips along his thighs, enjoying the feel of his skin as it reacted to my touch, and looking up at him at the moment that I took him in my hand. He was hard, and warm, and thick in my palm, and he shuddered as I ran my closed fist along his length.

"Do you like that?" I asked.

"I do," he said.

I very carefully took his warm balls in my other hand and carefully handled them. "And this?"

"Yes," he breathed. "Be a good girl… and put it in your mouth."

I licked my lips again, swallowed, and lowered my lips against his soft, wet tip. I used my tongue, first, rolling it along the head to savor the taste of his own precum. I had never tasted him before, not like this, and I had to admit… I enjoyed it.

His entire body seemed to tense for an instant. That was when I let my lips part and carefully took him into my mouth. Lucien's cock was big, and I wasn't sure how much of it would be able to take in my mouth without there being any… problems. When I thought I couldn't take any more of him in, I pulled away from it, then returned to it, rolling my tongue along the tip of his cock the entire time.

Lucien's body relaxed, then tensed, then relaxed again, his breath catching in his throat every time I decided to roll his balls around in my other hand.

I had him.

Right now, he was mine.

I kept my movements slow, and deliberate, enjoying the moment—the pleasure of having him here, entirely in my hands. Though he had made me ask him for permission, right now, and for the first time ever… I was the one in control.

I was the one in charge.

I pulled him out of my mouth and looked up at him while I ran my tongue along the entire length of his cock. "Tell me you like this," I said.

"I like it."

"Tell me I'm a good girl again."

I felt one of Lucien's hands rest on my head, and he guided me back to the tip of his cock. "You're my good girl," he said, "Do you understand me?"

"Your good girl," I whispered, before I took him into my mouth again.

His cock began to throb and pulse in my mouth. With one hand, I pumped at his shaft. With the other, I worked at his balls. With my mouth, I picked up the pace, sucking and pumping while he tensed and groaned.

He was close.

I could feel it, that build up inside of him, and I wanted it. I wanted all of it.

"Slow, now," he said, and I did as he asked, slowing down my movements and focusing on his tip. Lucien held my head in place, then he pushed me further onto him, trying to get me to take as much of him into my mouth as I could handle.

Another throb.

Another pulse.

And he erupted, sending a hot stream of himself directly into the back of my throat. I wrapped my lips around his shaft and breathed deeply as I swallowed every last drop he had to give me, moaning with him while he emptied himself into me.

When he was done, I sucked and licked the last of his climax up, then I crawled onto him. "I want you," I said, as I reached for his cock and placed it between us.

He was still throbbing, still surprisingly hard, and still coming. I could feel it on my fingers, hot, and sticky.

"No," he said, grabbing my hand and stopping me from sliding him into me.

"No?" I asked. "Why?"

"Because I said no."

"That's unfair…"

"Good girls get rewarded. I need to leave something for you to look forward to."

"We may only have tonight."

"We have three days, and I meant what I said earlier. You need to be rested for tomorrow."

I sighed. "What do I have to do to get you inside me?" I asked against his lips, hoping I could coax him.

He lightly kissed my lips. "Sleep."

"I'm not sure I'll be able to after that."

"Try," he said, and he rolled me off him. He looked at me, then. "Tomorrow"

I felt like a brat. I wanted to argue, to protest, but I didn't. Instead, I turned onto my side and curled back into a ball, keeping my frustrations inside and resigning myself to trying to sleep. Lucien, meanwhile, got up, grabbed our covers, and pulled them back onto the bed.

A moment later, he slid in… behind me. When he was in position, he pulled me toward him, fitting my body perfectly against his. I was still half naked, and even though he still had his briefs on, I could feel the impression of his cock against my ass.

"This is not the way to get me to sleep," I said.

He wrapped an arm around me, then, and buried his face into the back of my head. "Sleep, Beatrice."

I paused. "It's… Bee."

"Bee?"

"That's what my friends call me."

Silence. "Goodnight, Bee."

"Goodnight, Lucien," I whispered.

Whether I liked it or not, the day's excitement had been wild, and my body was exhausted. It didn't take long before I drifted off into sleep, with Lucien Diaboli behind me, his arm wrapped around me.