Chapter 25

Mia

Two weeks after Ares gave me the key to my brand new working place, Kiara came to visit us on the weekend and she burst into tears when she saw me there. Said I looked so happy, she couldn’t keep it in. Even after all those months, I never told her about what was at stake between my marriage and her future, and I hope it will remain this way forever. Not everything needs to be said. But I’ll keep an eye on her and make sure my parents don’t suffocate her like they did to me. She’s still my little sister, after all.

Since then, Ares and I have made a rule of being at home everyday for dinner. It gives us more time to actually be together or just stay silent and do nothing but be together. I found there's nothing quite like journaling in the living room while he finishes his workout on the rug next to me with a hundred push-ups, making my ovaries burst into flames.

I love our new routine, our life, and even the challenges it contains. Dr Ofenhaus told me trying new foods would certainly be better if I was with Ares, and the feeling of safety would remain because of his presence.

Hence why, we’re both sitting next to each other at the kitchen counter. Ares carrying a determined look I’m convinced he usually reserves for his business meetings. Don’t know why, but when he looks at me this way…that’s kind of hot, actually. Pushing the plate between us toward me, Ares takes a fork and softly puts it down next to it.

“ Okay , no way, like absolutely no.” I shake my head at the pasta dish in front of me.

“Mia.” He tilts his head, his voice falling so low I can feel it in my belly.

“Nope,” I say with a fake smile.

“You said you’d give it a try...” He lifts one of his brows.

Yes, I did tell him that yesterday after my session with Dr Ofenhaus, but I’m not really sure now.

“Did I? Don’t remember. I say a lot of things. You shouldn't listen to everything that comes out of my mouth,” I assure him.

“C’mon, princess, I know you’ll be proud of yourself if you do it.” His tattooed palm covers mine.

I hate that he’s right.

“I’ll do it with you. It’s not the same because it’s easy for me, but maybe if you see that nothing happens when I eat, perhaps your brain will understand that it’s okay.”

“I don’t know…”

It’s safe, Mia. Ares is here, and he won’t let anything happen to you.

It’s just food.

“Trust me, okay? If it gets too much, we’ll stop. Either way, I’ll be there with ya. I saw what an episode is. I can handle it and take care of you if it happens.” He laces his fingers with mine, shielding me from the beginning of a panic attack.

I’m strong, I’m brave, I’m not alone.

I can do this.

“Okay, but, like, one bite. Just ONE.” I point my index in the air. The corner of his mouth lifts, and damn, I want to rush in his arms and bite a piece of his flesh just to taste him. Like right now.

“Mia?” His tone slides to dangerous territory.

“Um?”

Those damn lips.

“Baby, focus, we’ll have time for whatever you’re thinking after.” He chuckles with his deep voice.

“I bet you’d be interested in what I’m thinking.” I lick my lower lip.

Oh, that would be so much better than trying to eat this unidentified dish.

A low chuckle comes out of him, and I fall even harder for my husband, a hand running in his hair as if he couldn’t believe the piece of work I am.

“Hey, you married me!” I tell him, pointing at his chest with my finger.

“Oh, I’m fucking much aware, princess,” he grins, “and I wouldn’t change it for anything in this world.” He takes my hand to his lips and turns it until my wrist is facing him before he leaves a wet kiss on it, making goosebumps appear all over me. His gaze darkens, letting my forearm back on the table, he shifts the plate toward me.

“I asked Larry to make it simple.” He motions his chin toward the pasta in front of us.

“Simple is…good. Simple is…” I look down at the plate.

“Safe,” he says with a reassuring tone.

“Yes, exactly.” I blush at the sight of my husband finishing my sentences in such a vulnerable part of myself.

“He made the pasta, said it was organic and local or shit and…” He furrows his brows as if he’s trying hard to remember what our fifty-year-old grumpy cook told him.

“Ares?” Hearing my voice, it sounds so small and vulnerable.

“What?” He says, studying me.

“I love you,” I declare simply.

He jerks back a bit, his brows lifting in surprise. “I love you too princess. You’re okay? Doing this? I’m not pushing you too much?”

“It’s, it’s perfect. No one ever took that much time to…” he waits patiently for me to find the right words, “just you taking this time and putting this much effort, it’s…it’s huge for me,” I admit, my heart pounding hard under my chest.

He smiles at me gently. “You keep looking at me this way, woman, and I swear we’re gonna have to take a break right the fuck now.”

I laugh loudly, then shake my head. “No, no. I mean, I want to, but you’re right, I want to do this.”

“That’s my girl.” He grins proudly.

“So, yeah, where were we? Larry, yeah, shit, he said it was made from scratch, and the tomatoes and basil are from the garden. Basically, can't be healthier.”

I swoon over my husband, larger than life, with skulls inked into his hands, talking to me about vegetables with the seriousness of a business meeting. Biting back a smile, I lean over and kiss his lips softly, then pull back and dig into the plate, watching his chest swell with pride.

It’s… good.

The pasta doesn’t feel like it’s choking me, and knowing that the sauce was homemade appeases my fears. It’s dense and full of flavors and…

Okay.

I’m okay.

My fingers aren’t trembling, my heart isn't racing, my throat isn’t closing.

I’m eating food outside of my comfort zone, and that’s okay.

Ares' eyes widen, watching me like a hawk, from fingers to throat to cheek, as if he wanted to find my triggers and make them go away.

“Mia, you okay?” He flexes his hand, furrowing his brows and making my heart melt at the sight of his worry.

“I…I think I’m good.” Biting my lip, I put the fork down.

“Wanna try another?”

“Um…”

“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s not push it.” He cups my face with his palm. “You did so fucking great, princess. I’m so proud of you.” Tears suddenly appear in my eyes and they seem to fall without me even noticing. Perhaps my body needs its own release method.

“I’m…I’m proud of myself too,” I admit, smiling, putting a palm on my mouth, amazed at the step I managed to take today.

To anyone it would be just a bite, but to me…to me it’s the beginning of healing. The beginning of a long journey ahead, but still, it’s like stepping on a ship and knowing you were meant to be there all along but just got lost along the way.

Ares stands and goes to the fridge, then takes out a large plate of salad with peaches, pistachios and boiled eggs. He swaps the pasta dish with it, then comes back, sitting next to me and digging into the pasta like a starved man.

“What?” he asks when I stare at my bear of a husband, gentle yet rough, tender yet brutal, loving me yet merciless with others.

“It’s just, I’m really in love with you, like stupidly in love,” I murmur, shaking away the tears, leaning in and leaving a soft kiss on his lips. He kisses me back, then hoists me on him, his thicks arms carrying me like a feather.

“I think we’ve seen enough of this kitchen,” he grunts, then stands and carries me back upstairs. I nestle in the crook of his neck, inhaling his reassuring spicy scent, the essence bringing me to a safe place where I belong. We’ve come a long way, but nothing has ever felt more right than us right now in our home. I never thought it would have come to this after walking down the aisle and meeting this stranger I knew nothing of.

“I love you, Mia, and I’ll keep your heart safe as long as you want me to,” he murmurs before kissing my hair.

“Might be a long time,” I whisper softly.

“Good thing, ‘cause you’re stuck with me forever, princess.” He smirks, biting my lower lip. I smile, giggling from happiness and leaving feather light kisses on his jaw as he passes the doorway.

I’m in love with my husband, so what?

THE END