37. Olivia

Olivia

S pending the day with Angel has been just what I needed after weeks of barely talking to any woman. It might be my desperation to have someone else in my life apart from my guys, but I think she and I could be really good friends.

I gave her a tour of the stable and showed her the horses and my filly—which I still have to name—then Juniper, who once again broke free and ended up in the remains of the guest house—the guys are taking their time demolishing it. Jasper and Mose spent a couple of hours chasing Juniper around the farm while Angel and I went back to the house.

Since the guys were busy, Angel and I decided to make dinner. We took out the recipe book, put on music, and got to work. Some dishes didn’t turn out as they should, but I’m sure no one will mind a bit of burned food. Angel and I might lack experience in the kitchen, but everything was done with love—even the overcooked food.

When the baby was kicking, Angel asked me if I wanted to touch her stomach. Her question brought tears to my eyes. My men stopped asking for a baby, probably understanding that the pain of losing Spencer is never going away. Even Jasper, who wanted to be a father so badly, hasn’t brought up the subject. While I haven’t told him about my little boy, I’m sure the others did. But Angel didn’t know about Spencer, and she didn’t know how I envied her at that moment, so I politely declined while making sure not to hurt her feelings.

Mose and Jasper helped us set the table in the living room, which is bigger than the one in the kitchen. Once everything was ready, Angel and I put a comedy on the TV. Diva snuggled with us on the couch while the guys went to clean the kitchen.

Two hours past dinner time, Tyson, Rueben, and the others finally show up. The worry I felt the entire day and night turns into anger because I’m more than sure Ansel and Stefan told them that I wanted us to eat together. I get that they are not happy about last night, but they could have at least made an effort to get here on time.

Angel’s husbands rush to her and scoop her up from the couch into their arms. “We missed you.” Their voices carry all the love they have for her. A big smile erupts on Angel’s face as her husbands take turns kissing her baby bump.

My breath catches in my throat.

How many nights did I dream of Tyson doing the same to me? I lost count.

Not wanting to have a meltdown in front of everyone, I go to Jasper’s room. Looking at his paintings, especially The Garden of Earthly Delights, calms me. Even the scents of Mose, Ansel, and Jasper lingering in the air soothe the turmoil in my soul.

Tyson and Rueben follow me. They probably want to talk about how I treated them at the Blood Lodge. While I didn’t force Tyson to kiss my feet, I’m sure he must be upset that I didn’t claim him in front of the others. I wanted to, though. Even my darkness was pushing me to do so, but at that moment, I got carried away by…everything.

I pretend to look out the window while I think of a way to start the conversation. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is always hard, especially when it comes to Rueben. I chew the inside of my cheek. He never thought my apologies were sincere; why would he think differently now?

To my relief, Tyson talks first. “The hunt took longer than we expected. We should have let Jasper know that we would be late.”

He doesn’t sound angry. Maybe I was overthinking everything.

“It’s fine. We can heat up the food.” I rake my teeth over my bottom lip. “About the hunt,” I never understood why men like to kill defenseless animals, “did you catch anything?” I dare to ask.

Strong arms circle my waist, and all three of us fall on the bed. “We have now,” Rueben purrs in my ear.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I still need to ask Rueben, “Are you not upset about last night?”

“I was,” Rueben replies, “but I deserved it for everything I did to you. Before you get any more ideas, I’m not going to do that ever again.” The tips of his fingers trace the contour of my jaw. “While I was adamant about taking your life, you saved mine. I’ll never doubt anything you say, ever again.”

Of all the things Rueben could have said, I didn’t expect that. I shouldn’t ask this, I should keep my mouth closed, but last night showed me that I might have another chance at happiness. “How do you feel about me?”

Rueben’s eyes glow red as he replies, “I’m all yours. My life is yours to do with as you wish.” He has changed so much since he learned the truth that I don’t know who he is anymore. But…I think I like this new Rueben.

“If it’s not clear enough, I love you,” Rueben says.

I try to think of a ton of reasons why it would be wise not to trust a single word coming from Rueben's mouth, but I’d rather have him as my ally and lover than my enemy. Defeating Azael and the Blight won’t be a stroll through the park, and I need to build bridges, not burn them.

“I believe you,” I say to Rueben.

My attention goes to Tyson. While he has made it clear that he loves me, I don’t know if I should believe him or not. I’m still afraid to open up and be as vulnerable as I once was. But I want to be as happy as Angel is. I don’t know if that is possible, but if I don’t take the risk, I’ll never know. I place my hand against Tyson’s chest, his heart beating fast under my palm. “I’m scared of being hurt again, and it might take years to be comfortable enough to allow myself to love again, but I want you to know that you are mine.”

The bond between us feels stronger than ever. Tyson peppers kisses all over my face. “You are the reason I wake up in the morning,” he says before his lips seal mine in a tender kiss.

I no longer fight him. There’s no need when I’ve accepted him back into my life. I should have made him grovel for years for what he did to me, but just because I let him back into my life, it doesn’t mean things will be as they were when we were madly in love. It will take a long time for me to fully trust Tyson. This is the last chance I’ll give him. If he screws up again, I won’t hesitate to break the bond between us.

When Tyson stops kissing me, we are both breathing hard. Letting him fuck me is still something I don’t look forward to because when it happens, I know my heart will open to him, and all my love for him will return.

Rueben’s hand rests on my stomach, and for one moment, I let myself envision how it would be if I agreed to get IVF treatment. The guys would dote on me every moment of the day. They would never let anything happen to our baby or me. Tears blur my vision. I’ll never get to experience that, and it’s killing me. I’ve said for years that I won’t have any more babies and that I’m content my tubes were removed, but I think I’ve been lying to myself all this time. Otherwise, why would I be so heartbroken over something that will never happen?

Rueben grabs my face between his palms. “What’s wrong?”

I let out a long breath and say, “Mine,” before I kiss Rueben. A bond that ties not only Rueben and me, but Tyson, Ansel, Jasper, and Mose together, like a spider web, forms around us.

Everything is so overwhelming and my body glows so brightly, engulfing the three of us in a blaze of feelings and needs and wants. Tyson and Rueben’s love wraps around me like a cocoon. They are not enough for my soul to heal, I need the others as well, who rush to join us.

My body glows brighter until it reaches Ansel, Jasper, and Mose who are just entering the room. It might be only in my head, but I feel…whole. For several seconds, there’s a tsunami of thoughts and feelings.

I never thought mind reading was a thing, until this moment. I can’t say I like it either since most thoughts are about me naked, on my hands and knees, and being fucked until I lose my voice. Is sex all they think about?

Among all the thoughts of me being stuffed with cocks, there is one that—

My body stops glowing.

—intrigues me.

I wish I could show Tyson I love him as much as I love Olivia. Every day it kills me more. Sharing Olivia is only going to make my feelings towards Tyson stronger.

Tyson and Jasper stare at each other. “What did you just say?” Tyson asks Jasper—who’s cheeks turn a few shades darker making me think that he is blushing.

I wasn’t wrong to assume that Jasper is bi, but I didn’t quite expect him to have such strong feelings for Tyson. While I’m only into men, for me, love is love. Sex between men is something that I always found hot, but Jasper and Tyson? I might have a sudden internal combustion if I see them together.

Jasper clears his throat. “I didn’t say anything.” His attention turns to Rueben, “but I did hear you say that licking my cum was worth it because Olivia finally took pity on you and saved your ass from being consumed by your demon.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Rueben mutters. “And you should drink more water. Your cum is bitter.” Mose laughs.

“And you should eat some pineapple,” Rueben snaps at him before looking at Ansel. “Why the fuck are you concerned about the Elders finding out about your demon? Is there something we should know?”

Ansel flips Rueben the bird. “Do I want to know why you plan to steal Olivia’s panties?”

Clearly, the guys didn’t realize what happened. Before this gets out of hand, I intervene, “While I didn’t know it was possible, I’m pretty sure we heard each other’s thoughts.” All eyes are on me. “We need to make sure that it never happens again, but first, let’s have dinner with Angel and her bondeds.” I get up from the bed and go to Jasper. “If you love someone, make sure they know,” I try to give him the push he needs to open up to Tyson before standing on my tiptoes and kissing him.

Jasper’s arms wrap around me. “I love you, Little Love.”

It’s the first time when I don’t mind being called Little Love. It’s another step in my healing journey. While I shouldn’t trust the guys, especially Tyson and Rueben, they are slowly proving that they do care about me. I wrap my arms around Jasper, and I press my ear against his strong chest. “You know that I wasn’t referring to that, but you do you. Whatever you choose to do, I’ll be rooting for you. Also, thank you for…everything.”

His hold on me tightens.

“You still have to show me how to take care of my filly.”

Jasper kisses the top of my head. “I was waiting for things to settle down before I turned you into my assistant.”

“We will have to make a schedule. I’ll be Tyson’s muse as well,” I say. My back is to Tyson, so I can’t see his reaction, but the bond between us hums with happiness. Maybe there’s still hope for me and him.

Hope.

For years, I refused to believe such a thing existed, and now, I need it to be real.

Before I’m hired as a sous chef—even if demon Mose hates cooking—and a junior bounty hunter, I say, “We should make sure there’s still food left for us. Angel was pretty hungry but didn’t want to eat before everyone was here.”

“Pregnant women can be scary when they are hungry,” Ansel chuckles. “Or so I’ve heard.”

As if wanting to prove that Ansel is right, Angel’s loud voice echoes throughout the house. “What do you mean you hunt people, and then you bury them around the cabin?”

What?

I turn on my heels and face Tyson and Rueben. “What exactly did you hunt today?”

The two of them slowly get to their feet. “Maddox and his blood-brothers.”

I blink. “What in the actual fuck!?”

Tyson crosses his arms over his chest, anger reflecting in his eyes. For a moment, I stop breathing. If not for the bond letting me know how much he loves me, I would be inclined to believe that all his anger is for me. This is how he used to look at me before Ansel showed him the videos. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the hate he had for me. The line between love and hate is so thin it’s easy to cross it without even knowing it.

“It’s Lords’ stuff,” Tyson snarls, letting me know he doesn’t want to talk about what he and the others did at the cabin. Too bad, because I’m not quite done.

I turn my attention to Ansel because I’m more than sure that Rueben won’t tell me anything. “What did Maddox ever do to deserve to be hunted like an animal? Or his blood-brothers?” Not that animals deserve to be chased around either.

Ansel’s eyes flash scarlet. “He went too far. He should have known when to stop.”

It’s so frustrating that the guys decided to hide things from me.

What did Maddox and his blood-brothers do to deserve the hate of so many Lords? The few times I met him, he didn’t give me the impression that he was capable of harming others. Looks can be deceiving, but Maddox is a doctor. Aren’t doctors supposed to be good?

Angel screams again. “You locked two men in the Catacombs and buried another alive!?”

“Not so loud,” one of her men raises his voice just as much as her.

My eyebrows shoot up. Tyson mutters under his breath, “We gave him a straw to breathe through. He will live.”

“Really? A straw? Are you mentally ill?” I hiss.

Tyson snorts softly. “Let me know what sane man would ever want to become a vessel to a demon and swear loyalty to Hell and all his fellow Lords? Killing enemies has been a stress reliever so far.”

For some reason, I never saw Tyson as what he really is—an assassin Lord—until now. I only saw him as the man who had been the love of my life, the one who I thought was my only soulmate, but for the first time, I see what he has become—a man who has no empathy when it comes to those who have wronged him. No wonder Lords and Dukes need women to save them from themselves. I don’t think it’s only their demons that consume their souls; all the crimes they commit must take a toll on them as well.

“If he doesn’t bleed to death before we get to him,” Rueben adds.

If I know Tyson and Rueben at all, I’m more than sure that Maddox is as good as dead. His blood-brothers as well. It’s a shame that they won’t be together in their last moments. I’m almost tempted to ask Wasp to help me save them, but I risk angering Tyson and the others. Lords don’t like when others stick their noses in their business. Upsetting my men is the last thing I want to do, especially now that I finally have accepted all of them in my life.

If I want to survive in this world, I have to harden my heart, but it’s difficult to do so when I don’t know what Maddox did wrong.

Angel keeps screaming at her husbands. “What the fuck is wrong with you all!? Reyes is a psychopath, I get him, but what about you, Alekos? And you, Stefan, you’ve been in the Catacombs.”

One of them gets angry. “Why are you so concerned about some sacks of bones, anyway?”

“The only concern I have is that the fathers of my child are criminals!” Angel huffs.

Seriously, women who choose to marry Lords and Dukes don’t have a clue about what they are getting into.

I rub my temples. “All I wanted was a quiet dinner and to cuddle afterward. I should have known it was too much to ask.”

Tyson’s features soften. “Maddox was not the person we thought he was. For all the things he did, he deserves to die.”

Maybe Maddox did do something terrible. “Do I want to know what he did?”

Rueben shakes his head. “Probably not.”

“As for dinner, how about we get rid of the guests and have a quiet night, the six of us?” Ansel tries to save this entire fiasco.

What Ansel proposes sounds amazing, and I want nothing more than to relax after everything that has happened in the last few…years.

Before I get to answer, Angel screams yet again. “We are going to have a nice dinner while we pretend that you all went to fuck yourselves at the cabin, and when we get home, you stay the fuck away while I try to think of a reason not to dump your crazy asses.”

One of her husbands tries to calm her down. “Getting angry is not good for the baby.”

“How the fuck do you know? You’re a criminal, not a doctor!” Angel snaps at him.

“Don’t make me spank you,” her husband, who I assume is Alekos, snaps back.

“Don’t make me strangle you with your belt!” Angel fights back. “Say one more thing, Alekos, and the next body buried next to the cabin will be yours!”

When Angel mentioned that Alekos spanks her whenever things don’t go his way, I was convinced she was in an abusive marriage. I’m more than happy to see that she’s not afraid to speak her mind.

I press my lips together because otherwise, I might start laughing. More like making that strange sound because whatever that is, it can’t be called a real laugh. “We might want to feed Angel first,” I suggest.

“Mose and I will go heat the food,” Jasper offers.

I take a deep breath and say to the others, “Let’s go entertain the guests.”

We move to the living room. Angel is sitting on the couch, pouting, while her husbands give us apologetic looks.

“Ever since she got pregnant, she’s been hormonal.” Stefan probably just signed his death sentence.

Angel narrows her eyes. “How else would I be if I’m married to three assholes, one of which is the Butcher—”

I interrupt Angel. “Wait! One of your husbands is the Butcher?”

Last year, after Jason took me from the Celestial Heaven, the Butcher started killing Dukes. Many of them abused me for years, and it made me so happy to see that they finally got what they deserved.

I look at them, trying to guess which of them is the serial criminal that ended so many Dukes. Alekos, while he is an asshole like Angel likes to call him, his eyes are not those of a killer. Neither are Stefan’s.

This means that Reyes is the Butcher. He is standing close to me and I hug him while I say, “Thank you.” He stiffens and starts pushing me away just as Tyson and Ansel yank me to them. The bonds between us hum with annoyance, which will quickly turn into anger if I don’t explain myself. “The men you killed, they all deserved to die for what they did to…women at the Celestial Heaven. To Angel as well.”

Reyes sits next to Angel and pulls her into his lap. It’s like he’s using her as a shield against everyone. “Dying is not enough to pay for what they did to my woman. They deserve to suffer eternally.” Angel’s anger seems to evaporate. Maybe this dinner is salvageable. To Angel, he says, “I’ll kill the entire world to keep you and our child safe.”

A pang of jealousy hits me. Why couldn’t Tyson be the same as Reyes? Tears sting my eyes. “I need to go to the toilet,” I excuse myself before tears start falling down my cheeks.

I quickly leave the living room to the bathroom down the hall and lock myself inside. Why am I being so…emotional all of a sudden? I turn on the water and splash some on my face before looking in the mirror. The sadness that has become a permanent trait of my soul is reflected so deeply in my eyes. If I want to have another chance at happiness, I must stop living in the past.

I don’t know what Tyson would have done if he had not hung up when I called him to tell him about our baby. The past can’t be changed, but knowing how much he loves me now, it is easier to let go of the resentment—not right now, but at my own pace.

Angel visiting me has been such an eye-opener to how my life could be if I allow my guys to love me, if I forgive myself for all the mistakes I’ve made, and if I decide to be happy.

I grab the face towel and dry the water off my skin.

Happiness is a choice, and I choose a life full of love and joy.

I throw a last glance at the mirror. My eyes seem to shine a bit, and not with sadness.

When I return to the living room, Jasper and Mose have finished heating the food, and everyone is seated at the table. Angel is still in Reyes’ lap, Alekos and Stefan on either side of them. She looks embarrassed by the entire situation, while I’m happy that she found three men who love her so much.

There is no chair left for me, so I go to Rueben. “May I?”

He blinks before a smug smile spreads across his face. Patting his lap, he says, “I’d be honored to feed you tonight.”

I cock my head. “While I’m not sure what you meant by that, I only wanted to sit. You can bring another chair from the kitchen for yourself.”

After a moment of silence, I swear everyone stares at me. Then Angel huffs, “You mean your men don’t force you to sit in their laps and endure while they take turns feeding you?”

It’s my turn to stare. “No.”

“It’s just that Olivia needed time to decide if she wanted to be with us or not,” Tyson quickly says. “But we will start treating her like a Lady starting,” he pulls me into his lap, “right now.”

My life as the daughter of a Duke was pure hell. Now that I have finally bonded with all my men, my journey as a Lady begins. “I’m looking forward to seeing what being a Lady entails.”

Tyson kisses me. Allowing myself to be loved might not be hard. It will take a lot of trust on my part, but I think that with time, I can build a new life here on the farm with my men and our animals.

A strange look appears on Angel’s face. “How about I serve the food? Olivia, care to help?”

Stefan and Jasper quickly stand. “We got this,” they say.

Angel insists. “Since Olivia and I are the ones who prepared the entire meal, we are the ones who know how the food will be divided.”

I’m not sure where she wants to go with this, but I decide to follow along. When Angel stands, Reyes is clearly not happy but lets her have her little moment. I get up, grab a serving spoon, and start serving the lasagna.

The rice casserole was the only dish that was unsalvageable, but Angel insisted on keeping it. When she starts putting big rations on her husbands’ plates, I understand why. Alekos looks like he’s about to be sick while Stefan and Reyes swear under their breaths.

“I made this with all my love,” Angel says so sweetly that if not for cooking together, I would have believed her. “You won’t hurt my feelings and not eat it, right?” Her question and the immediate reactions of her husbands, who look like they want to die, make me laugh. Not just that strange sound I’ve made until now but a real laugh.

My men gasp.

And I can’t stop laughing. It’s like a dam has been broken, and happiness floods my entire being.

There are many cracks in my soul, but slowly, they will be filled in with love.

I am no longer broken but whole.

Ansel looks at Angel’s husbands. “You have ten minutes to eat before we kick you out. Your bonded can stay as long as she doesn’t bother us while we settle Olivia into the Lair.”

“About that,” Tyson clears his throat, “I was thinking about moving to another place.”