30. Olivia

Olivia

T he bond that ties Tyson and me together for eternity feels like pure agony. It spreads like wildfire through my veins, knocking me back to my senses.

Tyson’s eyes shine with unshed tears. This is when I know that I went too far. I want to tell him that he is my first love, my bonded, the father of my child, the one who will always have a special place in my life, but the words refuse to leave my mouth. All I can do is stare into his beautiful eyes while he breaks me even more with his words.

“You are the only thought in my mind from the moment I wake up. Memories of you consume every moment of the day. Even when I sleep, you torment me. If I’m just an afterthought, I prefer it. Because what’s the alternative? You forgetting that I exist? I’ll take whatever crumbs you throw my way if it means you will stay at the farm with us. Even if it means that you’ll never,” his voice drops to barely a whisper, his words only for me, “love me again.”

My chest hurts. My heart and soul ache with the emotions so sincere in Tyson’s eyes.

I want to tell him that I lied, that I only wanted to hurt him, but it’s as if I’ve been made speechless. And Rueben? I shouldn’t have humiliated him like that in front of everyone. He might have said awful things about me, but he only did it in the privacy of our house. Except for that one time with Levi…. Even so, it still doesn’t mean that what I did was right. I firmly believe that two wrongs never make a right, yet this is exactly what I did tonight. Just because Tyson and Rueben never bothered to ask me what really happened the night I was first abused, I shouldn’t take this path of vengeance because if I do, I’ll lose myself in the process. My darkness awaits the right moment to corrupt my soul and turn me evil. That is something that I vehemently refuse to do.

Camila would be disappointed with me. What would Spencer think if he witnessed me do this to his father? To Rueben?

Rueben is still on all fours, and I am about to reach out my hand to him and help him stand when he gets up. “I’m done here,” he mutters as he jumps down from the dais. Lords mock him on his way out of the room.

If I want a life with my mates, I should find it in my heart to forgive Rueben. Not because he deserves it but because it’s not worth the anger and the resentment it’s causing me.

I debate going after him when Tyson gets to his feet, removes his shirt, and puts it around my shoulders. I push my arms through the sleeves. “I need to talk to Rueben,” I say more for me than for the others.

“He needs some space. He probably feels very emasculated right now.” Tyson’s voice lets me know that he also feels the same.

While Tyson is helping me button up, one of the Elders gets up. “Now that the shit show is over, can I know what the fuck was going through your minds?”

Ansel grins. “I wanted to let everyone know what an amazing bonded I have.” He winks at me before adding, “She is one of a kind.”

The Elders are not having any of the bullshit Ansel is trying to sell as an excuse, as one says, “She is very disrespectful, that’s what she is. We will talk to her about what she did later.” Is he pretending that I’m not here? I guess he didn’t like that I used my powers on him. I wonder if he will bring up the subject. “If you want sex with your woman, this isn’t the place to do so.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Yet sex happens here constantly. What’s the difference between me and the other women here?”

“I wasn’t talking to you, young lady,” the Elder dismisses me.

At least he does acknowledge that I am here.

I narrow my eyes to slits. “This conversation also includes me since I was the center of attention.”

Another Elder—who looks like Death forgot about him—joins the conversation. “First of all, women are not allowed on the dais. Second—”

I don’t let him finish. “This is where all your problems start.” The men look at me like I’m crazy, while the women have this expression of ‘you are right’ on their faces. I lift my chin up, proud of who I am. “Men, in general, should listen more to what we have to say.”

Someone snorts. “What can a woman who spends most of her life on her knees sucking cocks say to us?”

I look at the Lord who spoke. “If you are referring to pornais, you would be surprised how much they know.”

Mocking laughter quickly spreads across the room. “They know only what we let them hear. Other than that, they know nothing about the real world or the Dukes.”

I quirk an eyebrow. “Men love to underestimate women, especially the pornais. We might be stuffed with cocks and covered head to toe with cum, but we quickly learn how to keep our eyes and ears open and to pick up things fast while we pretend to be clueless.” I need only a few seconds to read some random Lord. He sits at a table along with three men. I point at him and say, “You are single, but from how your eyes keep drifting to the woman in your blood-brother’s lap and how flustered you look, I don’t think I’m wrong when I say you like her. More than like. You want her out of here. The constant twitching of your fingers tells me you are too nervous to speak your mind. You might even delay deciding which woman to choose as a bonded because you have already found the perfect one. You are also left-handed.”

The shock on his face lets everyone know that I am right.

I use the small silence to spread out my arms to try and make the Lords see things from another angle. “You all come here to talk about the Dukes or whatever shit you do here. If you want to change the tide of the entire situation, if you want to catch Azael and Carlos, you need allies. You need women.”

The last Elder says, “Women are weak. That’s why they need men to protect them.”

My butterflies pose on my shoulders. “Say that again.” Silence falls around the room. “We are not weak; we are oppressed. We might be weak physically, but we are not defenseless.”

“Do you know why blood-brothers exist?” the older Elder asks.

I shrug. “They are into polyandry?” I try to guess.

The Elders are clearly not impressed as they huff before one of them says, “To protect the hellstars and any woman that could be a potential bonded from the Dukes. Think of them as mercenaries. For centuries, there was no romantic relationship between blood-brothers and women. They were paid assassins and nothing more. When their souls were consumed by their demons, or the Dukes killed them, others took their place.”

I put my hands on my hips and look at my men. “To protect women from the Dukes. Funny you say that.”

The Elder ignores what I said and keeps blabbing about blood-brothers. “Yes, that was their life mission.”

I put my right elbow in my left palm and rest my chin between my index and thumb. “So, what went wrong?”

The oldest Elder blinks, confused. “Excuse me?”

I turn my attention to the other Lords. “How many of you are protectors? How many of you can say without any shadow of a doubt that you always treated women right?” Guilty looks quickly spread across many faces. I turn my focus on the women. “I only learned tonight of the origins of the sex slaves that live in the Blood Lodge. You may have no reason to trust the Lords. You may have been taught from an early age that they are the enemy. To some extent, it can be true. They have you locked here without any possibility of experiencing anything else.”

“They have days off where they can go shopping or whatever women do in their free time,” an Elder quickly says.

Many women snort. The one who talked to my mates and me earlier says, “Even then, blood-brothers are constantly watching us. We are not allowed to talk to anyone outside the group going into the city that day.” I think her name is Giselle.

Steven, who is close to the dais, chimes in, “It’s for your protection. It is risky enough as it is to allow you to step outside the Blood Lodge. If the Dukes ever find out and get their hands on you, they will torture you until you tell them everything you know.”

“Just because you say the Dukes are evil, it doesn’t mean it’s entirely true,” a woman says, angering almost all of the Lords.

A back-and-forth starts between the men and the women. I start to see why the Lords don’t trust them.

Before this turns into a real fighting match, I intervene. “I think everyone has noticed the scars on my body. They were made by the Dukes because I didn’t want to be a pornai or to do as they said. They drugged me so they could rape me. They beat me to break my spirit. The sad part is that they succeeded. My life was pure hell. They took everything from me, and for years, I was nothing more than trash for them. The things they did to me are…awful.” My voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

After a deep breath, I interlace my arms with Tyson and Ansel. “ If not for my men, I would probably be dead. Are they perfect? Fuck no, but they took care of me and showed me that life is not only pain and suffering. They even gifted me a horse.” I press my lips in a thin line and pretend to be upset for a moment. “But they absolutely refuse to let me win at poker.” A few women laugh.

“The Dukes are not good. Trust me on this one. My father is one, and he is evil. He attacked my new home and killed good men who had nothing to do with him simply because they protected me.” I am unsure about Isak and Gavin, but Levi would have happily given his life for me at any moment. “I am certain you know about the Blight. It can reach us tomorrow or ten years from now, either way, we need to be prepared. The Dukes will ally with the enemy before putting aside any grudge and fighting alongside us. Let’s face it: the Lords will lose without us, women. Think about it.” I face the Elders. “You’re welcome.” To my men, I say, “I think the meeting is over. Let’s find Rueben and go home.”

Tyson and Ansel help me down from the dais while Jasper goes to grab Rueben’s backpack and their coats from their chairs. Mose quickly gathers my discarded dress and panties, and all five of us head for the exit.

“If you leave, there will be dire consequences,” one of the Elders threatens.

Over my shoulder, I say, “Don’t make me show you the extent of my powers.”

Just as we step out the door, someone says loudly, “This is why hellstars should be kept in the dark about their powers. Once they know they can do cheap tricks, they act all high and mighty.”

I turn on my heels to show him what my darkness can do in reality, but Tyson throws me over his shoulder and takes me out of the Blood Lodge. The others follow us.

The car is where Rueben parked it, but he is nowhere in sight. Now, I feel even worse for what I did to him.

Tyson helps me stand. “I’m going to call Rueben and see where he is,” he says as he walks away from me and the others.

Jasper moves closer to me and puts his arm around my waist. “What you did at the meeting was brutal. No one dares to talk to the Elders like that.”

I nod while I keep my eyes on Tyson. His phone is on his ear, and he is clearly talking to someone, probably Rueben, but I can’t hear what he is saying. I wonder if he really got a hold of Rueben or if he is on the phone with another person.

Jasper keeps talking, but I can barely hear him at this point. I’m worried about Rueben. With Carlos, Jason, and Azael out there, all those that I care about are in danger. I might not like what Rueben did to me, and I am honestly scared that he will hurt me again, but I do care about him. I think. I mean, I don’t hate him. I don’t wish my enemy on him, no matter what he's done.

Tyson ends his call and returns to us. “Go ahead and go home.”

“What about you?” I can’t help but ask.

Tyson sighs. “I know you are angry and hurt. I understand your need to punish Rueben and me, but not like that. Don’t wait for Rueben and me. We will be late. The car keys are in the backpack.”

Tyson jogs away before I can stop him.

Jasper takes out the keys and unlocks the car. “I’ll drive.”

On the trip back to the farm, I am mostly quiet, thinking about what I did. Revenge is never the answer. It might feel good at the moment, but after that, it leaves you empty.

Late in the night, while I am in bed with Ansel, Jasper, and Mose, I say, “No one was shocked that I had powers.”

“It’s old knowledge that hellstars have powers. This is why the Lords wanted them protected and far away from the Dukes, so they wouldn’t get their hands on any of them. The Dukes started training spies so they could learn which women were special. It didn’t take long for the Lords to start subduing all the women, especially the hellstars. Things started being kept secret because they couldn’t be trusted. A bonded woman is always loyal to her men. Dukes used that to their advantage and kidnapped many single women. It was safer for the Lords to lie to the women about their true nature, to subdue them. The Dukes were already doing it. When hellstars stopped being born, even the Lords forgot about the powers. Then, we found out that a new generation of hellstars appeared. At one of the meetings, the Elders told us how wonderful hellstars are. The pornais were present at that meeting since it was a normal meeting night. This is why it didn't come as a shock when butterflies came out of your palms. Show off.”

I huff. “Look who’s talking. You spread your wings wide for anyone to see.”

Ansel chuckles. “Just like you spread your legs when Jasper is fucking you.” I twist one of his nipples hard and only stop when he hisses. After a moment of silence, he asks, “What happens now?”

If he is referring to the Blight, I have no answer; if he is asking about Rueben and Tyson, it’s the same response. So I end up saying, “I’m worried about Tyson and Rueben.”

“They will be fine,” Ansel tries to reassure me.

I snuggle into his chest. “Tyson is still half blind,” because I refused to heal him, “and Rueben is,” I shrug, “you know how he gets when he’s mad.”

Jasper spoons me. “Don’t forget about their nails.”

A choked sob leaves my lips. “Did I fuck up really bad?”

Ansel kisses my forehead. “Nah, let them suffer a little longer. They deserve it.”

Mose, who has his head on my legs, says, “Agreed.”

Feeling calmer, I add, “You three are a bad influence on me.” I know I will regret this later, but I want something off my chest. “I am…happy you all found me in the forest.”