27. Olivia

Olivia

R ueben pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think you want to know.”

My curiosity destroyed my life, and even after all these years, I still haven’t learned my lesson. I should get the hint from Rueben and not ask questions unless I’m ready to face the consequences, but Jason’s friends made my life a living hell. Whatever Tyson did to them, it’s well deserved. It is only fair that I know as well.

“But I need to know,” I insist. “Leo and Sean, just like any other Duke who abused me, took great pleasure in hurting me. If Tyson made them suffer, even a tiny bit, I want to be told all the details.”

Rueben sighs before summarizing what he, Tyson, and Ansel did to Sean and Leo. Anyone with a little bit of empathy would feel sorry for them, but not me. They abused me to the point where I am upset Tyson didn’t kill them.

“What about Mila?” She tried her best to be my friend, but Jason didn’t let her. If she was hurt in any way, I am going to be so fucking pissed.

“She is safe,” Rueben replies. “The Elders are helping her start a new life under a new name. Do you want me to get her phone number for you?”

I press my palm to Rueben’s cheek. “I would like that. Thank you for getting her out of there,” I say before kissing him. Before he gets the wrong impression, I quickly add, “The others are waiting for us.”

“Where’s your coat?”

“In the closet,” I reply.

Rueben surprises me when he grabs my coat. He might have stopped hating me only after he learned the truth, but he has changed so much in the past few days that it has confused me more than ever. Today, he was nicer than ever and didn’t scare me that much.

I reach out to take the coat from him, but he holds it for me so I can put it on. I’m not used to men being attentive to me, but I’m starting to like it.

“Let’s get the daggers and my backpack,” Rueben says.

We leave Jasper’s room and first grab Rueben’s backpack.

The daggers are where Ansel told me they would be. I haven’t seen them since the day I ran away. If it were up to me, I would throw them in the ocean so I could forget what finding them led to.

Once the daggers are in the backpack, Rueben interlaces his fingers with mine. It’s strange to see the man who vowed to kill me be so…gentle with me. It makes me anxious.

“How am I doing so far?” Rueben asks as we make our way to the cars. “Are you less afraid of me?”

“I liked you more when you cut open your palm while you vowed not to rest until you end me. Now, you are just like the others.”

Rueben frowns. “Why is that a bad thing?”

Because I know none of this is real. “I would be stupid to let my guard down just because you and Tyson had a change of heart after you saw what Carlos did to me.”

“We didn’t see those videos. How bad are they?” When I don’t reply, Rueben adds, “Olivia?”

“Maybe it would be best if Ansel deletes them.”

“Not before my blood-brothers and I see them. To love you as you deserve, we need to know what was done to you.”

What do I even say to this? “Moments like these make me less afraid of you, but my body refuses to forget what you did to me.”

I shouldn’t have said that. Fuck Carlos for drilling into my head that I’m always to tell the truth.

Rueben surprises me once more when he says, “Then let me teach your body to want me and not to fear me.”

If Rueben and Tyson keep love-bombing me like they did today, it won’t be long before I fall for their charms.

I fear the day when that will happen.

Because when I love, I love with all my strength.

The drive from the farm to the Blood Lodge was…intense, to say the least. Squashed between Ansel and Mose, their hands all over my body had me moaning, which led to Tyson jerking himself off while Rueben gripped the steering wheel hard. Jasper missed out on the fun as he had to go in the same car as Rin and Steven.

Ansel’s tongue is down my throat while Mose’s fingers are stretching my pussy as Rueben parks the car.

“We are here,” Rueben growls in anger. He was fine when we left the house, and I don’t know what triggered him.

“Keep. Driving,” Mose demands.

Rueben hits the steering wheel with his fists, making me flinch away from Ansel and Mose. “I am fucking trying to be patient here, but Olivia’s moans are killing me.” He opens the car, grabs his backpack, and says, “I need some fresh air,” before getting out and slamming the door shut.

I glance at Tyson. “What did I do wrong this time?”

“Nothing. Rueben and I are yours as well, but we don’t want to fuck you until you are ready, until we have proved that we are sorry for what happened in the past.”

I don’t know about Rueben, but if I accept to be Tyson’s muse, I think we might recreate the sex scenes from his book pretty soon.

I shouldn’t get emotional about this, but a knot forms in my throat. “You never said you were sorry until now. Not the way you are saying it now, like you really mean it.”

Tyson stares at me for a moment. “While this is not about me, I want you to know that I live in constant agony and fear that you will never truly forgive me. That you’ll never love me again. I am sorry, Olly, for everything.”

Though his words are sincere, I feel angry. “You should be scared because I’ll never let anyone in my heart again. You can fuck me and do whatever you want to me, but I’ll never love any of you.” I turn my attention to Mose. “Maybe I’ll make an exception for you.”

Mose flashes me a grin before smashing his lips against mine and kissing me roughly.

The bonds with Tyson and Ansel let me know how much my words hurt them, but I can’t be as weak and stupid as I once was.

Tyson clears his throat. “Rueben is waiting for us.”

Reluctantly, Mose breaks the kiss, and we get out of the car. Mose grabs my hand while Ansel and Tyson walk behind me.

Rueben and Jasper are in front of the Blood Lodge. Rueben appears calmer now.

“Where are Rin and Steven?” Tyson asks.

Rueben jerks his head toward the entrance. “Already inside. We shouldn’t waste any more time as we are late as it is,” he mutters.

“The Elders can suck it up for a night,” Jasper says as we enter.

Scents similar to those from the Celestial Heaven bombard my nose, making my vision tunnel. This has never happened to me before, probably because of all the drugs I was given.

My knees turn to butter, and I feel like falling. One of the guys grabs me by the waist. Tyson. His familiar cologne calms me. I lean my head on his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Tyson sounds so worried.

My heart leaps in my chest. It’s not fair that he has so much power over my feelings. Moments like this make me wonder if I should risk it and let him regain my trust. He did shitty things to me only because he thought I cheated on him. I’m not making any excuses for him, but cheating is probably the biggest trigger Tyson has. If I had been clearer about what happened the night Jason let his friends abuse me, maybe Tyson would have believed me. But all these years, I felt as if I had truly cheated on him, against my will or not. Even now, I feel the same. Maybe if I had fought harder, or been smarter, or not gone with Camila to the party…. Perhaps then I would have had that life Tyson and I always dreamed of. The one I grieved for.

“I just need a moment,” I reply.

The guys guide me around the Blood Lodge until we enter a big room. A small dais is in the middle of it. Elderly men occupy the three seats on it. One of them is talking, but my ears seem to be clogged as I don’t hear a word of what he’s saying. Lords sit around tables, on armchairs or semi-circular sofas. Women, who I assume are pornais, sit in many laps.

The Blood Lodge is not like I imagined it. There are no pornais waiting on their knees around the entrance. They are mingling with the Lords, talking or serving them drinks. They don’t look scared or unhappy. Almost all of them have a smile on their faces. Those who are being fucked seem to enjoy it as moans coming from different parts of the room reach my ears. Pornais are well-trained to fool men; faking orgasms is easier than many think. Only, the women here sound like they really enjoy being fucked.

We reach a table with five empty armchairs around it. The guys sit down.

My entire body tenses as flashes from my time in the Celestial Heaven flood my mind. Coming here was a bad idea. There’s no turning back now. I have to suck it up and deal with it.

Tyson pulls me in his lap. “If you want to leave, let us know.”

“Won’t you be punished if you miss the meeting?” I wonder. The idea of Tyson or the others punished fills me with rage. My darkness is more than ready to protect them. They might have tormented me and hurt me initially, but I prefer them over anyone else on this planet. I might not trust them when it comes to my heart, but I trust them with my body as I know they won’t hurt me, at least when they fuck me.

They are my tormentors.

Ansel is sitting next to Tyson and starts rubbing my left leg with his palm. “You are more important than anything that the old farts want to tell us. Besides, I already survived the Catacombs.”

The blood drains from my face. “Lords who don’t fulfill their obligations are usually sent to the Catacombs for a few hours,” Ansel explains.

“One Lord had to stay three days down there because he mistreated his bonded,” Jasper says.

Ansel’s broken wings come to my mind. Just because I could heal them once doesn’t mean I can do it again. My darkness is good only because I refused to let it corrupt my soul.

A blonde woman approaches us. My back stiffens because I know what she will do next—offer her services.

While she smiles, sadness reflects in her blue eyes. She does well hiding it, but I still can see it. “Are you here to set the date for the Piercing Ceremony?”

“None of your business,” Rueben snarls. “Go take a shower. You stink of cock and cum.”

Tyson snorts. “She’s a pornai. What did you expect? For her to smell like roses?”

I don’t know who the woman is, but I don’t like how Tyson and Rueben are speaking about her. “I am a pornai, too,” I remind them.

Tyson gently grabs my hand and takes it to his mouth. “You were never a pornai. Also, you are our bonded,” he corrects me before planting a kiss on top of my hand.

My life might have changed, and I might be on the path of becoming a Lady, I guess, but I was a pornai. Why is Tyson lying? Maybe he doesn’t want anyone here to learn of my past.

“They aren’t wrong,” the woman defends Tyson and Rueben. “After spending most of the day on my knees sucking cock, it’s impossible not to smell like cum. I’m afraid I can’t return to my room to take a bath, as my services are still needed here. I wish you all an excellent night,” she says before leaving.

Jasper exhales loudly. “Thank fuck she left.”

“Agreed,” Mose growls.

Men don’t understand what it is to be a woman. There’s always talk of equal rights between men and women, but that’s all bullshit. Men will never know what women have to do to protect themselves from them. For them, no means yes, or they simply don’t give a fuck about our feelings or rights.

“Why are you all so hostile with her?” I can’t help but wonder. “Do you think she is here because she wants to be fucked day and night?”

Jasper folds his arms against his chest. “Giselle is here because her mother tried to kill one of the Elders.”

So Giselle is her name. “What does that have to do with anything?” I try to advocate for her. “Giselle is guilty of no crime.”

“You don’t understand the ways of the Lords,” Tyson dismisses me.

“Fair,” I say, “but teach me, then. If you keep saying I am your bonded, which makes me a future Lady, how can I be one if I don’t know what happens in our world?”

Rueben says, “Many centuries ago, the Dukes had the idea of corrupting unmarried Ladies. They were seduced and trained to become the perfect spies. When the truth was finally revealed, the Lords had already suffered many casualties. Those women had to be made an example so that others would think twice before doing the same. Torture was effective, but the Elders wanted something that would be long-term. That’s how the first pornais came to be. They were so brainwashed that many pornais taught their children the things they learned from the Dukes. This wasn’t known initially, as children were seen as innocent. The Elders wanted to assign the babies born in the Blood Lodge to good families, but the mothers were hysterical any time the subject was brought up. The Elders made the mistake of taking pity on them. It cost many lives. Not wanting to risk the same thing happening again, the Elders reunited all the Lords and talked about what to do about the pornais and their children. Many options were considered, but in the end, it was decided that the girls born to pornais would remain in the Blood Lodge to serve unbonded Lords, while the boys would become servants and work for families who needed them.”

It takes a few seconds to assimilate everything Rueben told me. “This is bullshit. There are so many ways to go about this without punishing children who did no wrong.”

Rueben shrugs. “I don’t make the rules. I just follow them. Besides, Giselle is not as innocent as you think. Remember Alekos and his blood-brothers?”

I can’t say I do, but for the sake of the conversation, I reply, “Yes. What about them?”

“Alekos’ father got Giselle out of here, and she worked for many years in his house. When he was killed, Alekos became her new master. She never gave trouble until Alekos, Reyes, and Stefan brought home their bonded, a former Dutchess named Angelica,” Rueben explains. Blood roars in my ears. I didn’t know Angelica married Lords. When she ran away from her father’s house, Carlos was so furious. He hurt me so badly that day. He made me pretend I was his new wife before he did horrible things to me. “Giselle tried to frame Angelica as a spy. After shit hit the fan, Reyes returned Giselle to the Blood Lodge and let the Elders know what she did. They were not happy and made sure Giselle would never make the same mistake twice.”

I wince internally at the implications of what Rueben said. “I don’t know Giselle, but imagine how she felt when Angelica became Alekos’ bonded. If she became a pornai because of her great-great-great-grandmother or something like that, she might not have been happy with a Duchess in the house she saw as her home. Maybe Giselle did think Angelica was a spy and tried to protect those she cared about.” I can tell the guys disagree with me, which is totally fine. “I wonder if anyone bothered to talk and really listen to what Giselle had to say on the matter,” I mumble more to myself.

“If you want to know, you can ask Alekos and his blood-brothers. They are here tonight,” Jasper suggests.

I quickly shut that down. “So you want me to approach a group of Lords that have nothing to do with me and ask them about Giselle? Can I do anything else for them while I am there? Take care of their needs?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that because five pairs of red, angry eyes stare at me. Tyson wraps his fingers around my neck. “You don’t want me jealous in a room full of Lords,” he snarls in my face.

I should get the hint and keep my mouth shut, but I still ask, “What will you do to me?”

Tyson runs his thumb along my bottom lip making my pulse quicken. “My blood-brothers and I will make sure everyone present knows you are ours.”

What did I get myself into this time?