34. Olivia

Olivia

T he thrift store Tyson and Rueben took me to is probably the biggest one I’ve seen so far. Before, when my life was still mine to do as I pleased, Camila and I used to spend hours browsing through different thrift stores. Sometimes, we would find hidden treasures, other times junk. Books were mostly the things I was looking at, while Camila preferred clothes.

Despite her father being a Priest, their financial situation wasn’t always the best. Her parents not only had to raise her and Rueben, but they also took Tyson and Ansel in, and one income was not always enough. Mrs. Carr couldn’t work because of health problems, so she was a homemaker. I offered to pay for groceries many times, but she was too proud or maybe stubborn to accept any money from me. Perhaps I was stubborn too, because I bought clothes for Ansel, Tyson, and Rueben more times than I can remember. Not wanting them to know I was doing this for them, Camila lied, claiming she got a job, and used her money to pay for the stuff when, in reality, the money came from a trust fund my maternal grandparents set up for me. They were the only ones who cared for me, but they went missing shortly…after I lost everything.

Tyson and Rueben glance around the store, looking lost. Don’t tell me they brought me here without having a plan. Do they even know anything about shopping?

Ignoring the curious glances I was receiving, I head over to the counter to ask the lady behind it for directions. Tyson and Rueben stop me before I can reach it.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Tyson snarls in my ear.

“Asking for direction since it is obvious you are as lost as a kid at a fair,” I point out the obvious.

Tyson sorts before saying, “Wait here.”

While Tyson asks for directions and Rueben is busy checking out some asses or tits or whatever the fuck he is doing, I slip by unnoticed and go over to the books I spotted the moment I entered the store. I could try and run away, but I doubt I could get too far, considering I am only wearing an old pair of jeans once belonging to Mose that I had to adjust so they could fit me, a shirt, and an oversized jacket. Oh, and no shoes, just socks. If there were ever a definition of a homeless person, that would be me.

The book selection is not very large, but I spot a few titles I have never seen before. I pick up a fantasy book and I close my eyes as I smell the pages. A comforting feeling washes over me and, for a moment, I see myself sitting in front of a fireplace, reading, with a mug of hot cocoa next to me.

The book is ripped from my hands and my eyes pop open. I’m met with Rueben’s angry gaze.

“What do you not understand when someone tells you ‘wait here?’” He is so loud a few old ladies look at us.

A small basket with free sweets is next to the books and I take one from it. This might get me in more trouble with Rueben, but I say to him, “Here, have a candy. You’re always cranky when you’re hungry.”

Rueben blinks but takes the candy from me and returns the book to me. At least he didn’t make an even bigger scene. I put the book back and pick up another one. My breath catches in my throat.

Midnight Affair by Tyson St. Clair.

It can’t be him.

Tyson is a common name, but St. Clair…. It can’t be a coincidence.

“I didn’t know Tyson wrote a book,” I murmur.

Rueben pops the candy in his mouth. “He wrote quite a few, but now he has writer’s block or something like that and hasn’t written a word in weeks.”

“Oh,” I say, and shove the book beneath the others. “That’s too bad.”

I lose interest in the books and wait for Tyson to come to us. Rueben takes another candy from the basket. He always had a sweet tooth. Knowing that the sweets will come in handy sooner or later, I put as many as I can in the pockets of my coat.

“First a killer, now a thief. Fitting,” Rueben huffs.

“They are free, so it’s not stealing. I’m only hoarding them,” I say.

“They might be free, but one per person.”

I notice another basket and I go to it. This might get me in so much trouble, but whatever. What else can Rueben do to me, kill me in the middle of the store?

“You had two,” I point out and give him a lemon sucker. It should keep him busy for a while. “Three with this one.”

Fortunately, Rueben seems content to just enjoy the sucker and keeps his mouth closed. It makes me wonder when the last time he had sweets was. Sometimes sugar is like magic to some people.

A box with vinyl albums is on the floor and I browse through them. It doesn’t take long to find one with music I like. If only I had a record player.

“I see you still like jazz,” Rueben observes.

I shrug and put the vinyl back in the box. It’s not like I have money to buy it anyway.

Tyson finishes talking to the counter lady and comes to us.

“Clothes are in that direction,” Tyson tells us.

As we head over to the clothes section more people seem to notice me, making me nervous. I hate when I’m the center of attention. It makes me anxious. My heart starts beating faster. If only I had drugs right now. I want to go home but the thought of mentioning this to Tyson and Rueben makes me even more nervous. Years of living in the Celestial Heaven took a toll on me.

It doesn’t take long for me to have the impression that everyone is looking at me, while laughing and gossiping about me. I try to scratch the stitches on my right arm, but the jacket sleeve prevents me from harming myself.

Tyson puts his arm around my shoulders while Rueben places a palm on my lower back. The heat emanating from them is comforting. My heartbeats slow down. My arms wrap around me.

It shouldn’t feel like this, not after what they did to me, but right now, it almost feels like they are…protecting me. I lean my head against Tyson and I brace myself for him to yell at me, but he takes me by surprise when he asks, “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t care. He is just asking so he can use my weaknesses against me. “Too many people,” I reply.

“We’ll be quick about it,” Rueben says next. Then, in a more clipped voice, he adds, “It’s not like we have all day for you to find something to wear that won’t make you look like a slut.”

I guess the sugar didn’t work out as I expected. Rueben is still an ass. He is beyond any help. I need to find more of those free candy baskets. Maybe if he eats enough of them, he will get diabetes and die. Or maybe he will choke on one of them and die.

We finally get to where the clothes are. I stop in front of a rack with skirts and wait.

“What now? Aren’t these clothes good enough for you?” Tyson snarls.

I frown. “I thought you would pick out what I’ll be wearing.”

Tyson mutters something under his breath. “Come on, Rueben. The bitch can’t even pick a few rags to put on.”

While they look for ‘rags,’ I go hunt for more candies. Tyson likes kimchi, Ansel chocolate bars, and Rueben candies. I don’t expect to find kimchi or chocolate here, but I’ll work with what I can get my hands on. I only need to learn what Jasper and Mose’s favorite snacks are.

Some minutes later, I return to the skirt rack and having nothing better to do, I take a few out and look at them.

“See anything you like?” Tyson’s voice suddenly comes from behind me, making me jump to the side.

“You scared me,” I huff as I try to put the skirts back on the rack.

Tyson puts his palm on top of my hand, and I still. “Try them on.” He sounds…raspy.

“Too short for my taste,” I say. I pick out a long one. “I like this one better.”

Giving me the clothes he picked out for me, Tyson says, “There’s a fitting room at the back. Take the short skirts as well and let’s go.”

Not wanting Tyson to have a tantrum in the middle of the store, I take some short skirts together with a few long ones and follow him to the fitting room. Rueben is already there, waiting for us. A pile of clothes is on a chair next to him. Upon seeing the long skirts, he laughs. “Don’t pretend to be modest after you’ve had half of Veross City between your legs.”

Tyson pulls the curtain shut. “You forget she always liked to dress modestly. And lower your voice. I don’t want the employees to know the three of us are in here.” To me, he says, “What are you waiting for? Take off your clothes.”

Remembering that Tyson is disgusted by my body, I ask, “Can’t you two wait outside?”

“Come on, bitch, didn’t you hear we are in a hurry!” Tyson snarls.

Taking a deep breath, I get naked.

Rueben passes me a blouse that has food stains. “Try this one first.”

Dirty clothes always give me the ick, but beggars can’t be choosers. I try them on, without any complaint, everything that Rueben gives me. Unsurprisingly, each item has stains or holes—which can be easily fixed with a needle and thread—but I doubt that I can do something about the grease.

It crosses my mind that Rueben and Tyson purposefully picked up only dirty clothes, but with what purpose? To get some reaction from me? Well, if that’s the case, then I’ll give them one.

“We’ll take everything that fits you,” Rueben says when I’m done putting on all the clothes he gave me.

I tilt my head to the side. “Perfect. We are in dire need of rags to clean the house. Especially the kitchen.”

Rueben grabs me by my neck. “You will wear everything we buy for you.”

I pick up a pair of jeans and bring it close to our faces. “Sure thing. But I wonder what the stains on the back pocket are. Maybe from some guy who was rubbing his dick against the butt of the previous owner of these jeans until he came all over them.”

Tyson rips the jeans from my hands and throws them on the floor. “You are not wearing that.” He gives me one of the long skirts I have brought with me. “You have yet to try this one.”

Rueben squeezes my neck even harder, cutting my airflow.

“Do it,” I encourage him. “Break my neck.”

An evil grin spreads across Rueben’s face. “Not until videos of you being used by my blood-brothers and me are all over the internet and your daddy dear is not a Senator anymore.”

He shoves me into Tyson’s chest before leaving.

I let out a breath of relief before remembering Tyson is worse than Rueben. But much to my surprise, Tyson says, “Let’s see if the clothes I picked out for you are better than the ones Rueben chose.”

This is going to be a long day.

There are more clothes on another chair but Tyson stands in front of it preventing me from seeing them. He chooses a floral dress and gives it to me. It appears to be in perfect condition. I put it on and it fits me…perfectly.

“Look in the mirror and tell me if you like it.”

I face the mirror and forget to breathe for a moment. The dress has long sleeves and the skirt falls below my knees. It’s not revealing, but at the same time, it doesn’t make me look like a prude.

Tyson gets behind me and puts his hands on my hips. “Do you like it?” Doubting that I can speak, I nod. His hands move up until they reach my breasts. Running his fingers across the underside of my tits, he adds, “I like how it hugs all your curves perfectly.” His palms cover my chest. “Especially your gorgeous tits.”

I chew my bottom lip while I look at the mirror, my eyes fixed on the reflection of his hands. “You say gorgeous tits, yet you hate the rest of my body.”

“No, I don’t,” Tyson quickly denies it.

My brow furrows. “You are confusing. When Levi and the others—”

He gropes my tits hard. “Do I have to remind you how five men who weren’t my blood-brothers and I were looking at your half-naked body, thinking of all the ways they would get to fuck you? You might be a slut, Olivia,” my breath catches in my throat when he says my name, “but you can whore yourself only for my blood-brothers and…me.”

His left hand goes to my neck, his fingers wrapping around the hickeys on my skin, covering them until they can no longer be seen, while his right one slides to my ass.

“You’ll never fuck me,” I whisper.

His eyes turn red. “You think you can stop me?”

I shake my head. “I know you, Tyson. You never want someone else’s sloppy leftovers.”

“Is that what you are? A whore without hope to ever change her life?”

“Hope is but a mirage. I don’t believe in it anymore. But you are wrong about one thing.”

His thumb runs across my pulse. “I am rarely wrong. And in your case, never.”

I meet his gaze in the mirror. “For your sake and mine, pray that it is as you think, Tyson St. Clair.” His eyes go wide. “Because I have nothing more to give.”

Rueben chooses this moment to enter, more clothes in his arms. Tyson lets go of me and takes a few steps back.

“See, I always knew you were a nun,” Rueben comments. “I might have found something you will like.”

I sigh. Great, more stained clothes. I pick up a random white t-shirt from Rueben’s arms and to my shock, it’s clean. Or at least as clean as it can be.

Tyson yanks it from my arms before giving me another dress, just as pretty as the one I’m wearing right now.

“It’s my turn to play ‘dress-up-the-Barbie’,” Tyson says to Rueben.

“Dress-up the…. Are you saying the Diseased Cunt is some Barbie?” Rueben looks confused.

Tyson pushes Rueben out. “Go find something else to do.” After making sure Rueben left, Tyson takes another dress from his pile and turns his attention to me. “Put on this dress. I want to see if it fits you.”

The dress he gives me is red. My fingers grip the fabric hard. “I hate this color.” My voice breaks. “I might throw up all over it.”

Tyson takes the dress from me and throws it over his shoulder. “Nothing red then.” Swirling a finger around a strand of my hair, he adds, “Pity. It matched the shade of your hair.”

“Why are you doing this?” I whisper.

“Doing what?”

I chew the inside of my cheek. “Suddenly acting nice to me.”

Tyson laces his fingers through my hair, pulling my head back, making me look up at him. “I’m not nice. Not even my demon can stand you.” He dips his head and into my ear, he says, “I want to crush you like the bug you are but not before I break your heart.”

He pulls his head back.

“You can’t break something I don’t have anymore,” I let him know.

Tyson picks up another dress for me. This time, a black and white one. “We shall see.”

An hour later, we leave the thrift store. I’m still wearing the dress Tyson had me try on first, together with a pair of warm slippers. This shopping trip didn’t go as bad as I thought. There were moments when I had some fun. Especially when Tyson and Rueben let me browse around while they paid for the clothes.

We go to the car. While Tyson and Rueben put the bag in the trunk, I get in the back seat. Moments later, Tyson gets behind the wheel and Rueben sits next to me.

“There’s one more place we need to go before we go home,” Rueben says.

Tyson starts the car. “Yeah? What do you have in mind?”

Rueben puts his hand on my thigh. “Our Slutty Nun is missing panties.”

It’s dinner time when Tyson opens the back door of the kitchen. The smell of homemade food has my mouth salivating. Except for the muffin and a few candies I ate while in the city, I haven’t had any real food the entire day.

Ansel and Jasper are sitting at the table playing cards with Steven while Mose and Levi are at the stove making dinner.

As if knowing that I’m hungry, Mose says, “Dinner will be ready in about an hour.”

An hour doesn’t sound that bad. I can wait. But not here, in the kitchen, where Levi is. He didn’t even bother to look at me.

Tyson and Rueben, carrying the shopping bags, disappear down the hall. Them being so nice after what they did to me earlier has me uneasy. What are they plotting now?

Not wanting to see another look of disgust on Levi’s face, I decide to go to Jasper’s room, but when I pass by the table, Ansel pulls me into his lap. “And where do you think you’re going?” he asks me, his face serious.

Is Ansel angry? My heart sinks. What did I do wrong?

“I didn’t want to bother any of you and—”

Ansel doesn’t let me finish as he kisses me. “You can bother me anytime.” Helping me stand, he says, “Let me see your new dress. Spin around a few times for your men.”

Jasper, Mose, and Ansel have their eyes on me. Unsure of myself but not wanting to disappoint them, I turn a few times before I stop next to Jasper’s chair.

“You look beautiful,” Mose says. I’m not sure if he means it or he is just saying it.

Jasper pats his lap, and I sit on it. His arms come around my waist. After nuzzling my mouth with his and leaving a trail of kisses from my lips all the way to my ear, he says, “I can’t wait for dessert.” After kissing the shell of my ear, he adds, “I have a feeling that tonight you will finally become my bonded.”

I lean my head on his shoulder. A new bond will make things even more complicated, but I don’t have the heart to tell Jasper I don’t want to be his bonded.

“How was shopping?” Levi’s sudden question has me looking at him. He is at the island holding a mug in his hands. If he’s talking to me, does that mean he still considers me his friend…?

“It went better than I expected,” I say truthfully. Too good, if I’m completely honest. Tyson and Rueben are driving me crazy with their sudden mood swings. Do they have multiple personalities? Or are they trying to see how much they can push me before I snap?

Levi smiles. “Good. I made you hot cocoa. But I don’t know if you still like it.”

“I do,” I say quickly.

Levi brings me the hot cocoa. “You look tired.”

“I didn’t get to sleep too much last night. Ansel and Jasper kept waking me up,” I say without thinking.

Ansel laughs. “Resisting you is basically impossible. Tell you what. Take the hot cocoa to our room and get some rest. I’ll wake you when the food is ready.”

I look around the kitchen. Something is strange. Why are they all nice to me? I’m not used to this. It makes me…nervous.

“You don’t mind?” I ask, wanting to be convinced I’m not missing something.

Jasper kisses my cheek. “You can always nap in my arms.”

I stand. “The bed is more comfortable.”

I grab the mug and leave the kitchen. The rest of the house is quiet, making me wonder where the others are. Maybe they are patrolling the farm?

When I pass by Tyson’s office, I hear noises coming from inside. Is he working on a new book? But didn’t Rueben say he has writer’s block? Not my problem. Besides, he told me to stay away from his office. I rush to Jasper’s room and close the door behind me.

All the adrenaline of the day disappears and my legs give in. I lean against the wall, steadying myself. Hot cocoa spills from the mug on the floor.

“Fuck,” I mutter.

After putting the mug on the coffee table, I head over to the bathroom but stop by the bed. The shopping bags are on it. Why did Tyson and Rueben spend so much money on me? Rueben might have been a complete jerk, but—I open the shopping bags and pull out an absolutely gorgeous cream-lace dress—he found this for me. And the best part? It has no stains. I don’t think I have ever had something so beautiful.

I should put the clothes in the closet before I take a short nap. I start taking it all out so I can sort through them and when I get to the last bag, I gasp. Really loud, too. Especially when I take out the books and the vinyls I had been looking at in the thrift store. At the bottom of the bag, there’s a note.

I still have the record player you bought me years ago. We could listen to music together like we used to do in the orchard. Do you remember how we used to dance under the stars?

Why did you have to cheat on me and ruin everything? All I ever wanted was to fucking love you. Now all I want is to fucking destroy you.

And I will, Little Rabbit, I will.

I rip the note into tiny pieces and throw the bag in a dark corner of Jasper’s closet. I don’t need anything from him.

“You already destroyed me the day you blocked my number.”