47. Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Five

Tatum

My house is empty when I get there. I hadn’t expected differently. Devon won’t come here tonight. She won’t come here ever again after what I did. My chest hasn’t stopped hurting since she walked away from me. Since she left me. Though it’s my fault this time, I still can’t handle how easy it was for her to go. How she simply left without looking back. The more I think about it, the more I can’t breathe.

This is all my fault.

I did this. It’s what I wanted, isn’t it? I wanted her to hurt. Wanted to get revenge. I did that. Because even though it was easy for her to walk away, I saw the pain in her eyes before she left. She’s hurting. But obviously not as badly as I am because I never could have walked away from her. Not like that.

I hate how badly this hurts, how much it sucks. But I knew if I didn’t keep my guard up this would happen. And here we are. I was stupid enough to fall into her trap. Stupid enough to give into her because she makes me fucking weak. I’m exactly where I started, only this time I feel way more foolish than I did the first time.

I should have known better. Playing with fire only gets you burned, and for some reason I thought I’d be a phoenix and be reborn from the ashes. But that’s not even close to being true. I’ll never be the same after this. How will I go back to anything normal? Everything is ruined now. Not only the chance I had with her, but my friendship with Dane. I destroyed it all, just for the opportunity to get even.

I blink a few times and realize I’m in my room. I don’t remember walking up here, but I must have. Dropping onto the bed, I bury my face in the pillow, which is a big mistake. It smells just like her.

“Fuck!” I shout, raising my fist and pounding it into the pillow. I move to the other side, but it doesn’t make a difference. It smells like her here too.

I fucked up. I fucked up so bad and I don’t think I can fix this.

Knowing I won’t be able to sleep, I go downstairs to the office and drown myself in work.

I’ll have a lot of fires to put out on Monday over the scene that was made at the event tonight. A goddamn charity event at that. Brent will have a lot of work to do over it too, but at least he has Dane to help him. I have nothing. No one. Not a single fucking person in my corner to be by my side when I fuck things up. No one to tell me it’s okay. That I’m allowed to make mistakes. No one to help me make it right. No one to show me the right way to do things.

No matter how many numbers I look over on these reports, I can’t get Devon out of my head .

I know what I saw that night at the party. When I first saw her leave Gunner’s room, I didn’t think anything of it. Then the thought crossed my mind. I pushed it away. It came back, and I let it stay. And when Gunner gave me that smug look, I knew. And it never once crossed my mind that he was doing it just to fuck with my head.

I huff out a disbelieving laugh, slamming my laptop shut. That motherfucker. This is his fault. All of it. This entire fucking mess is his goddamn fault. And he is going to pay for it.

Gunner doesn’t show up at his house for an hour after I pull up, and I make sure to get out just as he does, meeting him around the front of his car. I throw a fist right into his face. He flies backwards, slamming into the side of the car.

“What the fuck!” he spits out, his hand covering his cheek.

“Did you sleep with Devon?” I scream at him, gripping the front of his shirt in my fist and yanking him to me.

He stares at me like a deer in headlights. I move closer.

“Did you. Fucking sleep. With Devon?” I say, this time lower. Slower. Clearer.

His eyes search mine, and he lets out a growl. “No,” he says through gritted teeth.

I punch him again, this time his head bangs off the car and he drops to the ground with a loud groan.

“You fucking piece of shit! You came out of that room and made it seem like you fucked her, all to get into my head! ”

“Goddamn right I did, Tate. And you’re the idiot who fell for it!” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He turns to his side, spitting out blood before getting to his feet.

“Excuse me?”

He gets right in my face.

“You’ve never deserved her,” he says darkly. And those words hit me right in the chest. I stumble back. “She’s always been too good for you, and all you did was prove it.”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” I try to ignore the way his words hit where it hurts. How true they are. How I’ve always known it.

“How could you think she would do something like that? What the fuck does that say about you? If it was so easy to sway you into thinking she’d cheat on you, what else would go wrong in your relationship, Tate? I did you a fucking favor.”

“You ruined my life!”

“You’ve been doing that to yourself for years,” he spits out.

I raise my fist to punch him again, but this time he blocks it, spinning me and slamming me against the car. His hand is on my throat and he’s in my face.

“I’m tired of you blaming me and my mother for your problems. You’ve been doing it for years, and it ends now. You’re responsible for the shitty life you have, no one else.”

“You made me think she cheated on me!” I bellow, my whole body shaking.

“And you believed me!” he growls, shoving me into the car and stepping back. “You fucking believed me. And so easily, Tatum. Did you even ask her? Did you ever ask her what happened?” I hold his gaze, refusing to give him an answer. He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He shakes his head, stepping away and waving a dismissive hand at me. “Go home.”

He takes off up his driveway, disappearing into his house. I sink to the ground, burying my face in my hands.

Have I been doing this to myself the entire time? Am I that fucked up?

I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take a deep breath, wiping my eyes and getting to my feet. Pulling my phone out, I see it’s my father. I get into my car, drop the phone on the other seat, and peel out.

He calls me again less than a minute later. I’m not in the mood to talk to him, so I let it ring. He can fuck right off.

But when he calls a third time, I think something’s wrong. What if something happened to Brent or Dane? Or worse, Devon? Why he would be the one to relay that news to me, I don’t fucking know. But it has me answering the phone just in case.

“What?” I bark.

“I need to tell you something, and I need you to listen.” I don’t say anything, just veer onto the highway. “Tate, are you there?”

“Here,” I growl.

“I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to tell you this for weeks, but I’m not sure there is one. So, I’m just going to say it. I have cancer. Glioblastoma. Doctors say it’s unlikely I’ll make it to the holidays. I’d like to see you, son. I want you to…”

He keeps talking, but I don’t hear the words. Everything around me goes dark, and all I can think is that I wish I were dead.