44. Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Two

Devon

I vaguely remember Tate telling me he had to go into the office for a few hours but will be back later. I have no idea what time that was, but it’s nearly twelve now and I’m just getting out of bed.

We spent the entire day yesterday lounging around and eating junk food. Okay, that was me, Tate didn’t eat any junk food. He did his thing—some work, gym, eating healthy—while being supportive of what I needed. He talked to my brother again, who is still upset that I won’t answer him. Dane is concerned that I haven’t come home and told Tate how I ditched the GPS monitor. I’d considered telling Tate to tell Dane that I’m here, but Dane would probably lose his shit. On a good day, he may handle it okay. While he’s this stressed out? It won’t be good for him.

I plan to call him in a little while and hear him out. I’ll let him know I’m fine and will be home soon. A couple days, maybe. I love these little bubbles Tate and I find ourselves in too much to go home right now. Everything is right when it’s just Tate and me. When we’re hidden away, life is good.

He had some groceries delivered yesterday, so I pull out the eggs, scramble some up, and make toast to go with it. After eating, I make a cup of coffee, then go to the living room, where I plop onto the couch, wrap the blanket around me, and sip my coffee as I browse through the shows, trying to decide what to watch.

I scroll through a hundred things and nothing seems good, so I shut the TV off and get up, taking my coffee and phone with me. I walk out onto the back patio and sit in one of the lounge chairs.

Tate’s house is on a big stretch of land, but I can see the neighbor’s house from here, though it’s small because it’s so far away. It’s always been quiet and peaceful at this house. I can see why Tate doesn’t like being here alone, though. It reminds him that he’s alone, and that’s shitty. The way I’ve felt the last couple of days? I can’t imagine feeling that way every day, the way Tate does because he doesn’t have family the way I do.

This house does feel different. I’ve been here only a few days, and I feel it. It wasn’t something I noticed when I was younger because I didn’t understand it, but I get it now. This house is empty. Soulless. There’s no life in it.

I stare down at my phone, knowing I should call Dane. The more I put it off, the more he’s going to stress. The sooner we can talk about this, the sooner we can move on from it.

I’m not worried that Dane is going to fight with me on this. He knows he’s wrong. I’m worried about making him feel worse. I’m mad at him, and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. But I do want to understand why he kept this from me.

I don’t plan on being mad at my brother forever. People make mistakes and they deserve forgiveness. If I can forgive Tate for what he did to me, I can forgive nearly anyone.

Tate broke my heart, yet here I am.

Taking another sip of coffee, I put my mug down and grab my phone, pulling up Dane’s name. I press the call button before I can change my mind.

He answers on the first ring.

“Devon, Christ. Are you okay? Where are you?” he says frantically.

“I’m fine, Dane,” I reply calmly.

“Where have you been? You didn’t come home. I’ve been worried.”

“I said I’m fine, okay?”

He sighs. “Yeah, okay. Sorry. I’m glad you called. I’ve been calling you…”

“I wasn’t ready to talk yet.”

“You are now, though?”

“I’m on the phone with you, aren’t I?” I say harshly.

My brother is good at his job. He has no issue taking control of situations and handling them like our father does. Like a professional. As if he’s been doing this for decades. But any time he thinks I’m mad at him, he gets weak. Same with any time he thinks he lets down our dad. A different side of him comes out. A softer side that the right woman will appreciate one day. Dane has a big heart .

“I should have told you about Summer,” he finally says on a sigh.

“Yes, you should have.”

“Can I explain?”

“Yes.”

I hear a few things on the other side of the phone, like maybe he’s moving to another place. He could be at work and looking for a place where he won’t be disturbed.

“It happened a few times. The first time, we were really drunk at a party. It’s so shitty, but I didn’t realize it was her. It was probably the same on her end. The other times, it was a convenience thing. Right place, right time. Or wrong, I’m not sure yet. Anyway, we realized what we were doing was stupid because we didn’t want you to get upset. Summer really freaked out, actually. Nearly had a panic attack thinking you would never talk to her again. I told her you weren’t like that, though I swear she should have known that already since you are so close, but she was still upset. So, I told her I wouldn’t say anything, and I didn’t.”

Is it really that simple? Not some big elaborate plan to keep things from me? They weren’t sneaking around behind my back to get together?

“Thank you for telling me that, Dane. And as much as I understand why you did it, I wish you hadn’t. You know me better than that, and you should have done better to explain that to Summer. Hell, I thought she knew me better than that.”

“It was a rough time for her.”

I know she went through a rough time. She was a party animal . Summer did a lot of stupid things that she’s admitted she regrets. I wonder if this is one of them? But is it doing it, or lying about it?

“I do, but I can’t help but feel betrayed by both of you. You went behind my back and decided to keep something from me. My brother and best friend… do you know how that makes me feel?”

I hate how hard it is to get the words out. Just saying it out loud makes me want to cry.

“I can imagine… and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

“Dane, my whole life, I’ve felt like people lie to me. You and dad are overboard protective, always doing everything you can to keep me safe. You talk to me like I’m a child, and usually I just let it go because I know it comes from a good place. But now… now I feel like you’ve been lying to me because you think I’m too stupid to know better.”

“What? No. Not at all,” he says firmly.

“It just feels intentional. Like… you’ve been telling these little white lies all our life to protect me, and I believed them—even though really, I was just appeasing you—so you felt you could get away with a big lie.”

“That is not how it was,” he says. “Not even close, Devon.”

“But to me, that’s what it seems like.”

“I don’t know how to change that, but it’s not true. I know you’re not stupid. In fact, you’re really fucking smart. And if I ever made you feel otherwise, I’m sorry for that too. I never meant to.”

It falls silent for a few seconds .

“Have you talked to Summer?” I change topics, not wanting to discuss all the ways he’s tried protecting me. That’ll be saved for another time—after I move.

“Not yet. I was hoping to talk to you first.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t think clearly when you’re mad at me, Dev.”

I feel a little bad for that, but I don’t feel bad for being mad.

“What do you plan to do?”

“Demand that I’m in Astrid’s life. I mean, what the fuck? How could she keep this from me? From you?”

“I wish I knew. The only thing I came up with is that she was scared in the beginning, likely for the same reason she didn’t want to tell me you slept together. Then with each day that passed, it got harder and harder to tell you—and me.”

“That isn’t an acceptable excuse.”

“I agree with you… but look what happened. She told you, I found out, and I haven’t talked to her.”

“Her fear came true,” Dane says with a sharp breath. “Will you talk to her?”

“Not before you do. This is your time to step up, Dane. Talk to her. Figure things out. And you need to talk to Dad—he’s going to lose his shit. I’m not ready to talk to Summer yet, but if she asks, you can let her know I will when I can.”

He sighs. “Okay, Dev. Are you sure you’re safe? You’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Dane. Call me after you talk to Summer, okay?”

“I will. And hey, that charity event is this Friday. You’re still coming, right?”

Charity event? What—then it clicks.

“Oh, I forgot about that. But yeah, I don’t see why not. ”

“So, I’ll see you then, at least?” he asks hopefully.

“Definitely.”

“I love you, Devon. You’re the best sister ever, I swear.”

I smile.

“Damn right I am, Dane. Love you.”

“Love you more, little sis.”

I’m happy we could end things on a good note. It’s such a relief. And what’s even better is Tate is walking toward the patio doors just as I put my phone down.