38. Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

Devon

Summer and I are celebrating the first day of June by taking Astrid to the beach for the first time. Metro Beach is a thirty-minute drive, and a place Summer and I used to visit as often as we could before she had Astrid. I can’t blame Summer for not wanting to take her sooner. Astrid has pale skin and has always enjoyed eating things she shouldn’t. Meaning she’d likely burn and eat a ton of sand. More trouble than it’s worth.

It’s a beautiful day and I’m excited to go on this adventure with them and get to be a part of another one of Astrid’s firsts. As we’re waiting at a red light, I pull my phone out to snap a photo of us.

“Say cheese, Astrid!” I say. She looks up and smiles so big her eyes close.

I snap a few photos and laugh as I look through them.

“Make sure you send those to me,” Summer says as she makes the turn.

I send them to her right now, then put my phone in the holder and mess with the radio until I find something I can sing to. Taylor Swift will do. I’m not a Swiftie by any means, but I enjoy some of her music. I like how catchy it is.

Summer and I sing loudly, all while Astrid mumbles along. When the song is done, I lower the volume and rest my head back, letting the cool wind blow over me.

Days like this are the best. It’s what I’ll miss the most when I leave.

“Have you decided on anything for Astrid’s party yet?” I ask.

Summer has been wanting to do a big thing for Astrid’s birthday party this year, since she’ll be three. Summer is convinced this is the first year she’ll know what’s going on, so she wants to make it big. She’s also in a better place financially, so she’s able to do it. I offered her money to help, but she refused to take it. Little does she know she won’t have a choice once she sees what I’m getting Astrid for her birthday.

“She’s been obsessed with Blue’s Clues, so I’ll probably go with that as the theme. My parents offered to have it at their house, but I’m not sure I want to do that. Astrid doesn’t even know who they are.”

“Have they asked to see her again?”

Summer shakes her head. “Just that one time, which is part of the problem. If they acted like they wanted to see her more, maybe I’d let them.”

I complain about the way my father and brother are, but I am grateful they’re better than Summer’s parents. My father and brother would be pissed if I ended up pregnant, but they wouldn’t kick me out. They’d help me. They’d make their disappointment known for sure, but they wouldn’t put me on the street like Summer’s parents did .

I think they’re realizing their mistake now that Summer is doing so well and Astrid is getting big. They’re missing out on so much.

“Not trying to make excuses for them, but maybe they’re afraid of pushing you.”

“They should have thought of that before they kicked me out.”

“Can’t argue with you there,” I say, glancing back at Astrid, who is now asleep.

How the hell do kids do that? A few minutes ago, she was singing along with us. Now she’s sleeping?

“It sucks because their house would be perfect for the party. It’s big enough. The yard is nice. There’s a pool. And the best part is not having to clean up.”

“That alone is a reason to do it,” I say with a smile. “Maybe just have a chat with them. Be firm. Lay down your expectations and go from there? Nothing wrong with making the first move. And if it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. She’s still young enough that she won’t remember in a couple of years.”

“Yeah, I know. Oh, hey, regardless of where it is, could you see if your brother and Tate will come?”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Uh, sure. But why?”

“I just want as many people there as possible. I know Astrid is going to be super excited this year and I think having more people will be nice for her, even if she doesn’t know who they are.”

Seems weird, but okay. I don’t have a kid, so what do I know?

“Should I ask some strangers off the street too?” I tease. Summer slaps my leg. “Ouch! ”

We both laugh.

“I’ll ask Dane and figure out a way to ask Tate too.”

“You still haven’t come out to Dane yet?” she says through gritted teeth. “It’s been weeks, and from what you tell me, it’s getting serious.”

“I know, but we’re not ready to put a label on things. Honestly, I’m not sure we will at all. I’m leaving, remember?”

Summer rolls her eyes. “That’s what you keep saying.”

“I mean it. I even emailed someone about a house I found…”

She gasps. “You did? Where? Why are you only telling me this now?”

“It was just yesterday.”

“Well, where is it?”

“Myrtle Beach.”

“People actually live there? It isn’t just like… touristy stuff?”

“Yes, people live there, Summer. And it isn’t all that expensive, plus it’s close to the beach. I have good memories there. I think that’ll help with being away from everyone.”

“If being away from everyone is too hard, maybe that’s a hint not to go.”

I don’t respond to that.

When we get into the lot, we drive up and down for ten minutes trying to find a spot. Once we do, I grab the stuff from the trunk while Summer gets Astrid out of her seat and somewhat awake. The second she sees the beach, she’s squirming like crazy. Summer carries her until we’re in the sand.

We find a spot and put our stuff down. I get the blanket and chairs out while Summer wrangles Astrid to put sunscreen on her .

“Listen to Mommy, okay, Astrid?”

“Otay!” she says, jumping from foot to foot.

“You have to behave while we’re here. I know the water is pretty, but it can be dangerous. We have to go slow.”

“Slow,” she says with a head nod.

God, she’s so freaking cute.

“And you have to hold Mommy’s hand, okay?”

“Otay, otay, otay!”

Once Astrid is all set with her sunscreen and in her floaties, we manage to keep her entertained for a few minutes while we get down to our bathing suits and sunscreened up too. I grab the buckets, shovels, and sandcastle stuff, and we make our way to the water.

Astrid squeals excitedly when the water touches her toes. She’s a little hesitant, but ends up going in up to her knees. Summer tries getting her to go a little deeper, but she doesn’t want to. So we sit right there and play with the wet sand and waves.

The beach is busy as hell, a bunch of people playing in the water and lying in the sun. Further down, people have a volleyball net set up and they’re having an intense game.

I watch Summer interact with her daughter, and it makes my heart happy. It’s amazing how much she’s turned her life around after finding out she was pregnant, and she did it all herself. She had no help from Astrid’s father, Tommy, who took off to college to play football. He didn’t think a child was worth staying for, I guess. And of course, her parents didn’t do a thing. Summer loves her daughter so much, you can see it in how they are with one another .

When it’s time to eat, we go back to our blanket and I pull out the food while Summer puts more sunscreen on Astrid. We sit and eat, watching the people along the beach as we do.

“Can you watch her while I go to the bathroom?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Don’t let her go near the water.”

I roll my eyes. “I won’t, Summer. Promise.”

She worries so much, which I try not to take offense to. I’d probably be the same way if I had a kid. No one can watch them as good as you can, right?

I sit in front of Astrid with my legs spread to sort of block her in. She’s sitting, humming to herself as she picks up tiny pieces of strawberries to eat. She offers one to me and I take it, making loud chomping sounds, which makes her giggle. So, she does it again. We do this until there is none left.

“All gone,” I say, holding my hands up. She copies me.

I lean forward, scooping her against my chest.

“You are so stinking cute, Astrid,” I tell her, rocking her from side to side. She giggles more. It’s such a sweet sound.

I loosen up my grip to get a good look at her. She has the chubbiest cheeks, the cutest button nose, and bright green eyes. Her hair is as blonde as Summer’s.

“Your eyes are so pretty.”

“Pwetty,” she repeats, pointing at my eyes.

“Yeah, babe. Mine are pretty too. Wanna know why?” I whisper.

She nods.

“Because they’re green and green eyes are the best,” I say.

“Best!” she shouts. Then points to my eyes again. “Gween. ”

“That’s right. Green just like yours.”

“Oh, she ate all her fruit, great,” Summer says when she gets back.

“Uh, yeah. She totally ate all of that. Didn’t feed me any of it.”

Summer laughs, sitting beside us.

Astrid points to my eyes. “Gween.”

Summer gasps. “Yes, that’s right. They are green. Like yours.”

Astrid points to Summer’s eyes and says green again.

“No, honey. Mommy’s eyes are brown. Can you say brown?”

“Bown.”

“Good job!” Summer and I say at the same time.

We do this for a while, picking different things to test Astrid on her colors. She does pretty darn good for a three-year-old. After letting our stomachs settle, we go back into the water for a while, and when we’re tired and sick of the beach, we pack our stuff and head home.