35. Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three

Tatum

Devon and I walk along the beach for at least an hour before taking up rest in the sand. We find a spot with soft sand and lie down.

“Anyone ever tell you how fucking hot you are?” I say.

She smiles instantly, and though her eyes are hidden behind those giant sunglasses of hers, I can picture how green they are.

“You’ve told me once or twice over the years. But I’m also pretty sure you called me a hag once.”

I bark out a laugh. I can’t help it. I recall the day that happened.

“You were talking to Jack Michaels.”

“How did I never catch on that all this time you were just jealous?” She says it with a smile. Playfully. But it still fucking hurts. I was jealous in the worst way because of what she did to me. I’ve thought of how she hurt me so many goddamn times and yet I still refuse to call it what it was.

Not only did Devon hurt me, but she cheated on me. The worst kind of hurt. She destroyed my trust. Gave to someone else what should have been mine. How the fuck could she do that?

How I’ve kept it in all this time is a fucking miracle, if I’m honest, because I was certain the day I allowed myself to think about it, I’d explode. It’s why I refused to put a name to it and instead made her life hell. Each time she got upset, it made me feel a little bit better. But nothing will compare to the way she’ll feel when this is all over.

“Tate?”

“Yeah?”

She lifts her glasses, squinting to get a better look at me. “What’s going on? You okay?”

“Fine, why?”

“You just had a strange look on your face.”

I lean in to kiss her. “Just upset about the wasted years between us,” I say against her lips.

Her lack of a smile tells me she doesn’t believe it.

“What do you want for dinner?” I ask, knowing food will steer her in another direction.

“What are the options?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

I sit up and pull my phone from my pocket, then browse the local restaurants. Devon moves closer to my side and looks at my phone with me.

“Oh, that looks good,” she says, pointing to a casual waterfront restaurant. The photo shows people in bathing suits, sitting at high top tables with drinks in coconuts. “It’s on the water.” She looks around, staring down the beach. “That way I think. ”

I get to my feet and help her up. Taking her hand, we start down the beach in search of it.

We wait about ten minutes to be seated, and each order a drink once we’re at our table. We each order a burger. The food comes quickly, and when we’re done eating, we stay for another drink.

When we’re finished, we walk along the beach, both of us tinged red from the sun. We stop by our hotel and watch the people in the outside pool who are swimming and having a good time. There’s a swim-up bar with seats in the water. They’re all taken. Everyone is laughing and talking. They are genuinely having a great time. The hotel seems to be doing well from what I’ve seen. It’s clean and busy. But it’s really close to a lot of big chain hotels.

I glance at Devon, who is watching the people in the pool with a small smile on her face, which has a pit forming in my stomach. I have no idea why.

“Can we swim before we leave?” she asks, looking up at me.

I put my arm around her waist and kiss her head. It’s warm and smells like the beach. “Anything you want, baby. Anything you want.”

Devon tugs on my arm, pulling me after her. She’s running as fast as she can in the sand, which isn’t all that fast. I can’t take my eyes off her ass that is jiggling in the sexiest fucking way as I move after her. The girl is not a morning person, yet she was up before the sun this morning, dressed in her bathing suit and ready to go.

“Come on, Tate! We’re going to miss it!”

“We can see it from right here,” I say.

“No, it isn’t the same. We have to go down here!”

She keeps pulling me until she finds the spot she’s looking for and drops into the sand. She pats the space beside her.

“Sit.”

I sit down, facing the ocean.

“Why here?” I ask.

“This is where I was when I watched the sunrise with my father and Dane for the first time.”

And she wanted to reminisce on that. Okay, that makes sense. She is a sentimental person. She’ll likely never come here again with them, so I can see why she’d want to be here now. We’re leaving to head home in only a few hours.

“I’ve shared it with them. Now I want to share it with you,” she adds.

Frowning, I turn to her. She’s smiling brightly. That same happy smile that hasn’t left her face since we got here.

Does she mean that?

“Really?”

She nods eagerly. “This place has some of the best memories of Dad and Dane, and you’ve only made it better.”

“I had no idea…”

She faces me. “Dad took us here for our sixteenth. You don’t remember?”

The memory hits me then .

I wanted to come but my father wouldn’t let me because we had some stupid family thing to do with Sheila and Gunner. That fucker always ruined everything for me. My hands clench into fists and I have to force myself to take a few slow breaths before Devon notices something is wrong.

She’s since turned her attention back to the sky, watching the sun slowly come up. Loose strands of honey hair flow around in the wind, somehow making her even more gorgeous. This girl is… breathtaking. Everything about her is perfect. Not only her looks, but just her.

I could have had this then . Years ago. Even before I had her the first time.

But it only would have been ruined later.

Devon and I didn’t start dating until she was eighteen, but it built up for years. We both knew we wanted the other, but I think we feared what would happen if it didn’t work out.

Yet we found that out only a few months later anyway.

I still don’t understand why she did what she did. It makes no fucking sense. I mean, did she just think I wouldn’t find out? Did she plan on keeping it from me? She must know I know… yet she acts like she doesn’t. When I saw her walk out of that room at the party, it hit me so fucking hard because it was so unlike her.

Devon isn’t one of those girls. She doesn’t look for attention, especially not from guys. She’s happy with who she is and doesn’t need constant reassurance. She just wants to be loved for who she is. I gave that to her. And she fucked it up.

Things are good now, almost exactly how they were then. Nearly perfect. So why the fuck did she do it ?

I look away from her, my jaw tight.

All of this is only making it hurt worse when it’s supposed to be making me feel better.