30. Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Devon

We’re on our way back to the club to drop me off. A big part of me doesn’t want to go. I don’t know what this means for us. Tate admitted he can’t be who I want him to be out here. We’ve left our bubble and we’re in the real world, where things will go back to the way they were. It hurts, but it only solidifies that my decision not to take this seriously was right. Not that I followed that at all, but it was a good idea.

I’ll continue being nice to Tatum, I’ll give him whatever he needs from me because I was able to get what I needed from him—at least some of it. I’m happy with what happened between us, and grateful it was him I lost my virginity to and not someone I didn’t know. I think I’d have been upset with myself if things happened differently. He’ll never understand how much I appreciate this weekend with him, even if I initially thought it would be torture. And I’ll probably never tell him because I’m not sure it matters to him.

Looking back, I see how good this weekend was for us and how much I needed this. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I feel better about moving away. The hard part for me now is remembering that I’m doing all of this for me, and I can’t take his feelings into consideration because I’m still not sure I can trust him not to break my heart like he did before. This is my way of putting to rest the animosity between Tate and me. I can’t let him push this further. It has to end where we left it. No more kissing. Certainly no more sex. Despite everything he said, it can’t be that way between us, and I plan to tell him that first thing tomorrow.

Once I’m home, the first thing I’m doing is figuring out where I’m going, then I’m going to make my plan of escape. I won’t let Tate convince me to stay. It’s not enough.

We just got back into Detroit, so our time is just about up. By the time we reach the club, it’ll be nearly twelve. Tate didn’t waste a single minute with me, and it felt like he didn’t want me to leave either—yet he didn’t offer the option to stay. Tomorrow is Monday and I’m sure he has a million things to do for work. Which is why what I have to tell him will likely be via text message. Kind of shitty, I know, but I’m too much of a chicken to do it another way.

We pull up in front of the club and the silence in the limo is deafening. Tate takes my hand, and in the sweetest gesture, kisses my palm.

Tate smiles softly, his eyes focused on where he’s holding my hand. He flicks his dark eyes to me.

“I want to try harder for you, Devon. I want to be what you need.”

The air leaves my lungs and I duck my head to smile. He’s too charming for his own good .

“That would be nice,” I say, if only it could happen.

I should tell him I’m moving away. That we can’t start anything because of it. Why wait until tomorrow? I have the perfect opportunity right now. But if Tate needs a reason to be a better man, I’ll be that for him. At least for another night.

I check my phone. It’s three minutes to twelve. I need to hurry or I’m going to be late, and Tate will be in trouble.

“I want to date you, Dev. Show you I’ve changed. Earn your trust.”

That’s… unexpected.

“You do?”

Tate leans in, his hand cupping my cheek. “I love you, Devon.” He kisses the side of my mouth and before I can react, he’s out of the limo and offering me his hand. Hesitantly, I take it. I don’t want to leave him, don’t want to go home—at least not alone.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says with a small smile.

I glance at the door, knowing I have to go. Here is another opportunity to tell him the truth, but my mouth stays shut.

What if he means it? What if he really changes? Is Tatum Winters worth it?

The urge to leap into his arms is overwhelming. I wish he would kiss me again, show me how badly he wants me. It’s a terrible idea, I know that. I’m digging myself into a hole, I know that too. But I can’t help it because I’ve loved Tate forever. Why did I think this would end well? It already hurts leaving him now…

Before I can do something stupid, like tell him to come home with me or sneak into my room because he’s likely going to my home anyway, I step away, giving him a smile. And just in time, it seems.

Someone in a suit comes over to usher me away, but I keep my eyes on Tate for as long as I can. He shoves his hands into his pockets, waiting by the limo door, watching me until I’m inside the building. The rest of the night is a blur. I vaguely recall someone from the club asking me how the weekend was. I told them it went well. That my weekend was great, and Tate treated me well. They confirmed payment. I left.

Like a zombie, I let myself into the house, grateful when no one greets me. I wait a beat and hear nothing but silence. Dad must still be on his trip, and who knows where Dane is. Out with some girl, probably. Maybe working, I don’t know. I make my way to my room and flop onto my bed, still fully clothed. I stay there until morning.

“Should I put a stop to this before it gets out of hand?” I ask as I browse houses in Colorado. It’s not my top pick, I’m just trying to gage areas and prices. I can start a new life anywhere, and since there are so many places to choose from, I figured it makes sense to research as many as I can before making a decision.

“If out of hand, you mean you end up head over heels in love and decide to stay—no.”

I groan. “You’re no help, Summer.”

“You asked for my advice; I gave it. You told me everything that happened this weekend and it’s obvious something in Tate changed. He cares about you! You care about him! What more do you need? Besides, I don’t want you to go, so anything that’ll make you stay is fine with me.”

“I can’t be stuck here, Summer. I have to leave.”

“Long distance relationship then.”

“I don’t want that.”

“Invite him with you. He can travel for work, right?”

“Then what’s the point of him leaving at all? It’d be a long distance relationship half the time. And aside from that, the point of leaving is to get away. A clean break. Break all ties. If he and I are dating, my brother will know where I am. I can’t make Tate pick between being loyal to me and my brother. That’s unfair.”

So yeah… my Monday did not go according to plan. I woke up missing Tate and dreading having to tell him that I’m leaving. So, I haven’t.

“All I’m saying is don’t put all your eggs in one basket. You wanted to leave before this happened with Tate. Maybe now that things are different, you’ll change your mind. You didn’t want to leave when you were dating him last time…”

She’s right. I know she’s right. But the fear of being stuck under my brother’s and father’s thumbs is horrifying. But they trust Tate. They love him. When we dated last time, Dane and Dad weren’t as tough on me because they trusted Tate with me. Could it be that way now too? Would I get freedom if I dated Tate? Do I want freedom from my family if the only reason they’re doing it is because of Tate?

“I’m not saying I’ll consider it, but I’ll consider considering it. ”

“God, you are frustrating,” Summer groans.

“Yeah, well, you love me anyway.”

“Sometimes I don’t know why.”

“Liar.”

“Call me later, Dev. I’m going to put Astrid down for her nap.”

We end our call and I continue to browse houses, but no matter how many cities or towns I look at, I know it isn’t the place for me. So, I move on to the next state—Delaware.

It doesn’t take long to realize this is an absolute no. I’m typing in the next state—Florida—when I get an incoming text from Tate. Surprising, because I didn’t think he still had my number.

Dinner later

You’re missing the ?

It wasn’t a question. We’re having dinner later.

I smile, biting on my bottom lip. Something about Tate being demanding is sexy. At least it is now. A week ago, it would have infuriated me, but since I’m back on the good side of things, everything is different.

I’ll pick you up at 7.

How will you explain this to Dane?

Don’t worry about it.

Since my father and Dane are so busy with work all the time, it was sort of Tate’s responsibility to keep an eye on me while they were gone. It was never something said, but I’m not stupid. One of the three was always here. I’m never left alone. It’s just that when it was only Tate and I, I hid in my room to avoid him because he was the worst out of the three.

Maybe Summer is right about not leaving. Maybe if things stay this way with Tate, I won’t have to go at all. Maybe he will be worth it to stay.