16. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Devon

If I was willing to have sex with a stranger this weekend to get this money, then spending it with someone I know should be easy.

Only it isn’t, because that person is Tatum Winters and he’s a royal asshole. I wish it was only the asshole part that annoyed me because I could get over that. Who said the stranger would be nice to me? What bothers me most about Tate is our history. The way things have changed. How one day things were great, then they weren’t. I resent him and it’s hard to deal with.

Still, some would say this is better than fucking a random guy. The devil you know and all.

I guess I can make valid points as to why that’s true. Who knows what the stranger would have looked like? What his dick would have looked like? What if it had been huge, and he split me in half for the first time? What if he wanted to inflict pain on me? Like serious pain? How would I have dealt with that? At least I know I can handle Tate. I’ve been doing it long enough .

Maybe I’m going about this wrong. I could make the best out of this weekend. I don’t have to hate it. Tatum is being different. Which is weird but tolerable. I only have to put up with it for a couple of days. I can pretend for one weekend, can’t I? And maybe if I am nice to him now, things will change for us when we go back home.

It’s not that I expect things to go back to the way they were, but the fighting needs to end. The feelings I had for Tatum are gone. Ruined by what he’s done. But if we could go back to being friends? I wouldn’t hate that.

I’m not a bitter person. In fact, I’m really nice. I’ve been called a ball of sunshine by many people. But something about Tate gets under my skin—resentment over him breaking my damn heart. Maybe it’s time to try something different. Instead of dealing with it, maybe I try to get over it. I can ignore the anger I have and be nice to him. Try getting along. Try making things right. Not in the sense that I beg him for answers, but instead act like everything is fine. Maybe that’s what he needs—what we both need. Putting it all behind me could be the answer.

Knowing Tate, I’ll never get answers. Not about why he bought me for the weekend and not about what happened five years ago. I need to accept that this may be something I live with. It’ll be a mystery forever. Things would be easier if I knew the answers to both questions, but I can’t make him tell me. I can’t make Tate do anything—I’m not sure anyone could. He does what he wants, when he wants. I thought I’d stopped caring about all this, but it’s come back to the surface. Now I need to find a new way to handle it. Maybe kindness is the way. Fighting isn’t helping, and it’s exhausting .

After changing into the bathing suit Tate bought me, a simple black two piece that fits perfectly and I don’t hate, I braid my hair so it doesn’t get tangled and knotted because of the chlorine. I go in search of this terrace he mentioned, bringing my phone and a towel—I plan to call Summer once I’m settled because I need advice.

The last door on the left opens up to a set of stairs that is brightly lit by natural light streaming in through a glass door. Once at the top, I push open the door and step onto a spacious terrace that overlooks the city. It’s the opposite view of his kitchen, and maybe I’ll come up here tonight to get a view of this side while it’s dark. Though it’s all Chicago, each end is different because of the clusters of buildings. I bet the sunsets and sunrises from up here are amazing. Maybe I’ll do that too.

See, I don’t have to hate it here. It’s only two days, and I can definitely make the best of it. I’ll try to be nice, but if that doesn’t work, I’ll move on to ignoring him. But the anger has to stop.

A tall glass balustrade encloses the area. The pool is to the right, up a few more steps, and ends at the edge of the building. Ahead of me is a sitting area with wicker patio furniture that’s topped with fluffy white cushions. Bright flowers in large pots decorate the corners. Nothing about this area tells me Tatum enjoys it. This isn’t him at all.

It’s only May, so it isn’t hot. I’m not sure I want to lie in the sun, as I’ll probably get cold, especially thirty-nine floors up, but a heated pool is just what I need. I hate that Tate knows this about me.

Why does he know these things about me?

I hang the towel over the railing when I reach the pool, then dip my toe in. I sigh at how warm it is. Not too hot, just perfect enough to keep me warm.

I walk down the steps, leaving my phone on the ground not too far away, and wade to the opposite end, wanting to look out at the city.

I didn’t realize how close we are to Navy Pier, and not that I can see all of it, but I can see Lake Michigan and part of the pier. It really will be a beautiful sight at night. I’m pretty sure this faces east, so I’d get an amazing sunrise in the morning. The sunset I’ll have to watch from out of the living room.

After staring out at the city for a bit, I go back to the stairs, get comfortable on the steps and grab my phone to call Summer.

“Thought you’d have called sooner,” is her greeting.

“Considered it, but I didn’t want to bother you after waking you up in the middle of the night.”

“Would’ve been nicer of you to not wake me up in the middle of the night,” she says smartly.

“I don’t know what to do, Summer.”

“Why? Has the morning been awful?” she asks, chomping on something crunchy.

I groan. “The opposite.”

I can see her grinning from ear to ear in my head. This plays right into what she suggested—which is impossible.

“Look, I’m not going to argue with you about this, but I will give you my opinion,” she says.

“Even if I don’t want it?”

“Obviously,” she snaps. “Do you even know me?”

I huff out a laugh, shaking my head. I love this girl .

“Okay, here goes. And do not interrupt me, Dev, or else—” It’s not an empty threat with her. She doesn’t know what the or else will be, but if I interrupt her, she’ll certainly figure it out.

“Got it,” I say.

“Tatum has been in love with you since forever. Things got too serious too quickly. At only nineteen, he got scared. So, he did what he could to keep you at arm’s length. Far enough away you wouldn’t cramp his style, but close enough he could keep an eye on you. He’s since realized his mistake. I mean, you’re a damn catch, how could he not? Now he’s trying to make up for it.”

I wait a few beats to see if she’s done, and when she doesn’t say anything, I add, “You forgot to tell me why I should forgive him.”

“Because you’re lying to yourself if you say you don’t have feelings for him too.”

“I don’t,” I add sharply.

“You do. It’s why he rankles you so easily.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m never wrong, sweetie. I—Astrid, if you even think of touching that plant, you’ll go in time out!” There’s a short pause. “This girl has been testing my patience with this orchid since I bought the damn thing.”

“So why don’t you move it somewhere she can’t get it?”

“Because she needs to learn to listen, Devon,” she says condescendingly.

Right. That makes sense.

“Anyway,” she continues. “Tell me about this morning. What did he do? ”

“If I tell you, you’re only going to throw it in my face that you’re right,” I argue.

“Which is the point!”

I tell her about the morning. The clothes he bought me. Making breakfast. The pool. The fact he isn’t being a jerk…

I hate supporting her theory because there’s no way she’s right. Tatum doesn’t have feelings for me—not like that , not anymore.

We end the call after I promise to keep her updated over the weekend, then I spend some time swimming.

I’ve always loved being in the water, and I have faint memories of my mother laughing and calling me a fish. Dane never liked the water, not like me. He always complained about being cold. I was always cold too, but it was worth it to be in the water. Swimming is freeing. I lose myself when I’m in a pool. The feeling relaxes me in a way nothing else can. I’d considered joining the swim team in high school but thought turning it into something competitive would make me hate it, so I didn’t join. Or maybe I knew my father wouldn’t support it the way my mother would have, and I didn’t want to be disappointed… who knows?

Mom died when Dane and I were ten. It sucked, but I also feel like we bounced back quickly because of how young we were. I hated not having her through my teen years. There were so many things she could have helped me with. Health class taught me everything I needed to know, but nothing quite prepares you for all that stuff the way a mother can. Not even the internet helped me. My father definitely didn’t, and Dane was clueless. He probably still doesn’t know what menstruating is .

I had a rough year in school after Mom died, but then my life settled into a new normal and I moved on. Yes, I miss her all the time and wish she was still here, but I can’t waste my life dwelling on things I can’t change. I’ve missed out on enough things in my life, and I don’t want to regret anything when I’m old and no longer have the ability to do what I want. Life is short, and I don’t want to be on my deathbed wishing I’d done things differently.

What was my mother thinking as she lay in the road dying? Her death wasn’t quick, so she must’ve been thinking about something. Her family and her regrets. When I die, I want nothing but happy thoughts. I’m not sure it’s possible, but I plan on trying like hell to make it happen.

“I bring food.”

I close my eyes on Tate’s voice—how sweet he sounds. How nice would it be if he talked to me like that all the time? If he never would have screwed us up, things could be so different…

It was less than two days ago that he was choking me against my fridge because I called him Tato , the nickname I gave him when we were kids. Now he’s making me food? Buying a weekend with me for three and a half million dollars? It doesn’t make sense.

It doesn’t have to make sense. Just go with it.

Just go with it…

I turn around with a smile, which seems to throw him off guard if the look on his face is any indication. My smile was forced at first, but when I see him holding a pizza box, it turns very real. I swim to the edge of the pool, grip onto the ledge, and look up at him .

“You got pizza?” I ask.

He nods, putting it on the small table between the two chairs that are by the stairs.

Tatum grabs the towel off the railing and opens it up, gesturing for me to get out of the pool with a slight jerk of his chin toward the steps. As I hold his gaze, I realize this may be easier than I thought. If he’s going to be nice to me, maybe being nice to him will come automatically. It’s not in my nature to be mean to people; Tate brings that out in me.

I just have to keep in mind there’s likely an ulterior motive. I’m not convinced he’s doing this because he’s in love with me and wants me back. Tatum was at the auction with no idea I would be there. He was there to purchase a woman for the weekend—a woman who wasn’t me. So long as I keep my heart out of it, I should be fine.