39. Clarissa

39

CLARISSA

A few weeks later

"Ready to go see Daddy?" I asked Leo as I picked him up from daycare.

"Can we?" He launched to his feet and ran to get his jacket and backpack that were all lined up by the door and ready to go.

Kyle was officially "Daddy" now. I had been nervous letting Leo know, but no more nervous than letting Kyle back into my heart. And Kyle was doing everything right these days. Even when it made him grouchy. He had been moody for almost a month over this Hong Kong trip. Why did it always come back to Hong Kong?

Steve was on the phone and waved as we walked past. And as I suspected, once he saw Kyle and Leo, our past was no longer a secret. But now that we were officially a couple, everyone back in Chicago knew Kyle and I obviously had a history and that we were back together.

I let go of Leo's hand so he could run to his father, like he did every time we saw Kyle. It was becoming a bit of a routine. After work, I picked up Leo, we would walk the few blocks to Kyle's office two or three times a week, and on Fridays, Kyle came home with us for a big spaghetti dinner and a movie.

I saw Kyle waving at Leo before I noticed he was on the phone. My gut tightened as I anticipated the growl, the tears, a scene that I had seen in movies where the kid didn't know, and the parent yelled and was mean. I was prepared to sweep in and rescue my son.

But none of that happened.

Kyle put his index finger over his lips to quiet Leo down before pulling him up on his lap. As he kept talking, he placed paper and a pen in front of our son, ruffled Leo's hair, and kissed his head.

Leo was perfectly content to just be with his father, even though Kyle's attention was elsewhere. My heart clenched and grew, and I had to blink away tears. Kyle Love had always been a magnetic force, and I had always been swept away with him like being dragged along in a current. But this version of him constantly surprised and amazed me.

On the day we agreed to tell Leo, Kyle had shown up with matching T-shirts wrapped in a gift box.

"So we can match the next time we go to the zoo!" he announced.

I cried that day too.

He hung the phone up with an annoyed growl.

Leo flinched.

"Sorry, Son," he said, giving Leo a quick hug.

"You look like you're going to be working late," I said.

Kyle nodded. "The client is getting pushier about my being present for the ground breaking."

I didn't want Kyle to leave for the very traumatizing reason that I didn't know whether he would come back. But we both had to compromise to make this work.

"Why don't you go?" I asked.

"Clarissa, I've told you. I'm not going to leave you and Leo."

"I know that," I said with a heavy sigh.

Kyle's brows lifted and he pointed at me. "I saw that. Your words say one thing, but your heart doesn't really believe that. I have to heal your hurt so your heart will know I will always come back to you. Until then, I'm here."

Leo held up his drawing. "Look, a lion!"

"Oh, that's beautiful," I said, grateful for a moment of distraction. "Why don't you go show that to Mr. Steve? I'm going to talk to Daddy for a minute."

Leo squirmed off Kyle's lap. He held his masterpiece in front of him as he ran out of the office.

Kyle was grinning as he watched Leo run off.

"What?" I asked.

"I love that. I never knew that having him call me Daddy would fill me with such emotion. Every time. Please tell me it doesn't get old."

I laughed. "Having Leo call me Mommy is amazing, until it's not. And then it's annoying. But the magic returns and it's amazing again. I'm really glad you like it. It suits you."

Kyle started to narrow his gaze.

"Stop that. We are not having that Daddy word conversation right now."

It was Kyle's turn to laugh.

"Look, I know you don't want to leave us. And I don't think you will. Alayna made sure of that. I will forever be grateful to her for quitting."

Kyle started to open his mouth. I held my hand out to stop him.

"She is an amazing woman, but I don't think she did you any favors," I continued. "You relied on her so much, and she picked up all the pieces you left in your wake. You needed to go to Hong Kong for a project. Instead of simply taking care of the task at hand and returning to whatever else you had going on, Alayna was behind you, enabling you to be distracted. With her as your professional sidekick— I don't think assistant is as all-encompassing as what she did for you—you were able to be a different version of you than you are now. I know it makes you nuts that Jeremy has boundaries and will not immediately answer the phone when you call during his non-work hours, but honestly, that's so much healthier for both of you. She may have been the most amazing person at that time and place. You were able to grow an international reputation. It's safe to say you wouldn't have gotten to where you are without her."

He nodded. "She was one of a kind. Still is."

"Yeah, absolutely. But on a personal level, you weren't able to have a relationship with me."

He started to protest.

I shook my head. "No. You were never going to be able to have a relationship with anyone for more than a few weeks here or there because you didn't have to maintain anything. You didn't even make sure your condo was cleaned or the electricity bills were paid. She made it so you could do whatever you wanted without ever having to look back. And honestly, if she hadn't figured out that there was something between us, she would have continued to be there for you in that capacity."

"What do you mean?"

"She got really pissed on my behalf when you left the last time, and she realized she was always having to put out the fires you left behind."

"She said that?" he asked.

"Not in so many words. Look, when I left Chicago, she seemed like a bottle rocket ready to explode. Part of me feels bad that she ever got to that level of frustration and disappointment. But only a little part. Because when Alayna went boom, you had to figure the rest of everything out fast."

"And boy, did she go boom. She chewed me out a few times before dropping the bomb that she was quitting. She quit on New Year's Eve after telling me how much I had let her down." Kyle stood and walked around his desk. He picked up my hands from where they rested in my lap.

"I love my job, you know that. I'm good at it, and I love watching my designs come to life. But you are the love of my life, and I was too wrapped up in myself to even realize it. And that is why I cannot go this time."

I squeezed his hands. "Kyle, that's why I think you should go. It's for a party, a photo op. A chance to shake hands and pat each other on the back. And here's the crazy part. You can get back on a plane and come home. You don't have to stay."

He let out a low groan. "I'll get there, and I'll see everything that I could be doing to fix it, and…"

"And then Jeremy will tell you to come home because you have an office here, with multiple locations and multiple architects who also need your expertise and guidance."

He pulled me out of the chair and into the space between his legs as he settled against the front edge of his sturdy desk. "Have I ever told you how smart you are? Do they have any idea of what a valuable asset they have in you at your job?"

As he wrapped his arms around my hips, I played with the buttons on the front of his shirt. "I think they might. I think you're pretty smart, too. Even if this whole Hong Kong thing makes you moody."

"I'm not moody." He practically pouted.

"Mommy!" Leo came running back into the office. "I want to go to King Kong."

"Go where?"

"King Kong! Mr. Steve said Daddy was going to see King Kong. I wanna go. I want to see the big gorilla."

Kyle started laughing. "Hong Kong. It's a part of China. There are no giant gorillas, not King Kong."

"I always thought Hong Kong was a city on an island with the same name," I said.

"It's more than a single city. There is a Hong Kong island, but there is more than that. You should see it someday." His eyes narrowed, and suddenly, a huge smile spread across his face.

"What?"

"I'm going to Hong Kong for the ground breaking," he announced. "And you and Leo are coming with me."

"Kyle?"

"How do you feel about a destination wedding? Let's do it. Come with me. Marry me. It'll be fun."

"I… I…" I didn't know what to say.

"This is where you say yes," Kyle teased.

I started panic laughing. "Leo doesn't have a passport. I need to ask for time off from work. There's so much to do."

Kyle kissed me. "Just say yes. We'll get the rest of the details figured out."

"Yes!" I pressed a kiss to his lips and held on tight.