Chapter 59

Jamie

"Jamie…?"

Dad and Frankie rushed over to see if we were OK, but when they caught sight of me, they stopped in the middle of the track and stared.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?" Dad recovered first, storming over to the passenger seat window. "Letting my daughter drive like a maniac?"

"Let?" Brock shot me a lazy smile and then grabbed my hand and squeezed. "I don't let Jamie do anything. I just get the fuck out of her way because she knows exactly what she needs to do. Your daughter is competent, skilled, smart, and capable."

"And fucking insane behind the wheel…" Dave groaned, getting out of the car and vomiting on the ground. Loud jeers from the crowd made clear that everyone saw that.

"Guess I'm not just a girl pretending to play with cars all day," I said, smirking at my family.

"No, you're fucking reckless, dangerous," Steve growled.

"You could've died!" Dad's face was going bright red, his chest heaving now. "You could've ploughed this car right into a wall and then where would you be?"

"Wouldn't happen."

My tone was clipped, my chest tight as I faced him down.

"How do you know that?" Dave wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You've got no way of knowing that. One slip and?—"

"But she didn't." Frankie stepped forward with a frown. "She didn't. A minute ago everyone was enjoying themselves, and now you're all shouting at Jamie? She's a killer driver. No one who can pull that shit off could be called anything but that."

"Just showing off again." When I looked at Steve then, I saw something familiar. Scorn, dislike, maybe something even more intense than that. How the hell were we siblings? He couldn't say he loved me when it was obvious he didn't even like me.

"If I was a man, would that be showing off?" I asked him before turning to Dad. "Would you be worried about the boys if they could drive like that?"

"Well now?—"

"A moment ago you thought I was some guy, someone's son, and you didn't give a shit. You were having a great time, and then suddenly it wasn't so fun because you realised it was me doing the driving."

"I still think it was fun." Frankie held up a fist and I bumped it.

"It's a bit hard not to think about the potential consequences when it's your own child," Dad blustered. "You'll feel the same when you have your own kids."

"I'm not fucking having kids, Dad!" It was then I realised how far my voice travelled, that we were having this very personal conversation in a public place. Instincts Mum had worked hard to instil in me rushed to the fore, telling me to be quiet, make myself small, tamp everything I felt down so as to not make the guys uncomfortable.

Then Brock's hand took mine and squeezed.

Fuck. That.

He and his siblings were more than blunt with each other. They were able to tell each other how they felt without it being the end of a relationship. They worked through things, and right then I knew I could never settle for anything less. I smiled up at Brock, then let go, stepping forward to meet the collective gaze of my family.

"I hope you get everything you want from Frankie's marriage to Nadia, because it's the last one we'll have as a family."

"What?" Dad stared at Brock, but I stepped sideways, blocking his view.

"I don't want to get married. I never have."

"I didn't want to get married either," Dave muttered, "but even I know it's the right thing to do."

"Jesus…" I shook my head slowly. "Frannie deserves so much better than that. A wedding ring means nothing, not unless there's some real feeling, real intent to actually love, honour and cherish the other person. Not just…" I saw it then, a rapid montage of all the emotional and physical labour Frannie did to keep their household running, and I sighed. "Not just being used as a fucking bang maid."

"Bang maid?" Steve growled.

"Shut up." My scathing tone took me by surprise as much as it did him, and I was forced to take advantage of that. "You don't like me, Amber, or even your poor kids. I don't know what the fuck you're doing with your life, but I've got no interest in living the same way. Pretty sure Amber was trying to fuck Hayden, and let's face it, that wouldn't be the first time either of you stepped out on the other, would it?"

His mouth snapped shut, then thinned into a line.

"So what?" Dad looked around with growing alarm. "This is the way you want to live your life? Driving hotted up cars around and working in a garage?"

He wanted to make that sound so bad, but I stepped back then, feeling Brock's arms go around me. I'd like to say I'd have had the strength to say all this to my family before now, but I knew that being with him, with all my guys, it helped. Before, I felt like I was all alone, lost in a hostile place, never able to find my way through the cold haze, even though the people who were supposed to love me, help me, were barking orders the entire time. Now… Now I could see a way forward and it was exactly as my father described, which made me smile.

"Yes," I replied simply, because I knew explaining myself would never work. "Yes, I'm going to do exactly that."

"With me by her side." Brock pressed a kiss to my neck and I leaned into it. "I'd never do a single thing to hurt your daughter, and to be honest, that's not anything any of you can say."

Steve looked pissed, Dave confused, and Frankie a little hurt, but when Brock took my hand, I turned to face him.

"Let's take the car to the carpark and then go and look at the rest of the show." He smiled down at me. "You've got some time to kill before the engagement party."

"Can I come with you?"

I blinked as Frankie stepped forward, never expecting that. "I mean, Nadia's gonna kill me because today is insane, but just for half an hour?"

This wasn't how I saw today happening. In my mind, I'd expected my family to be stunned, then amazed when they realised who was driving them around, not pissed off and grumpy, but Frankie's response was the most surprising. A shy smile and he moved closer and away from the other guys.

"Yeah," I said finally, then turned to Brock. "We can get Frank back to Nadia and the party preparations, right?"

"We can do anything you want, babe," he said, pulling me close and giving me a hug.

"Fuck yeah!" Frankie shouted when we got back in the HQ. He seemed to soak up all the attention we were getting like it was his due. Me? I looked in the rear vision mirror, seeing my father and brothers get smaller and smaller, and while I felt a moment of sadness, it didn't last. Relief, that was what I felt more than anything.

"Bloody hell…" Millie muttered when we arrived home. "You're just in time." We were in fact early, but I didn't dare say anything. "So it's crunch time. Dress or suit?" She pointed to the two garments laying on my bed. "Which one is it going to be?"

There's nothing wrong with dresses. They could be beautiful, ugly, comfortable or confining, make you feel like a million dollars or inadequate. They were just pieces of fabric sewn together in a certain way. What they meant was up to you. The dress was Mum's choice, and I was thankful for Brock for buying it. It gave me the option to consider my choices. To dress as she would've liked, or… The suit lay there looking amazing, and my feet moved before I consciously made a decision, taking me closer to it.

"The suit?" Millie smiled. "Good choice."

I'd wear the dress someday when I wanted to feel my skirt flaring out around my ankles. Maybe out to dinner one night on a lazy summer evening. But tonight? I wanted to be sharp, put together, armoured against possible harm. The suit could protect me, just as the racing suit would against fire.

"Alright then," she said, swatting me on the arse. "Get dressed and then let me work my magic. We have no time."

She was right. Hours later, I walked out of the room somewhat self-consciously, into a cloud of masculine cologne. There they stood, all dressed in perfectly tailored suits, hair neatly combed back, and I think Brock even waxed his beard. Each man looked up as I stepped out. Millie had found a pair of dress boots she approved of in my wardrobe and I'd pulled them on along with the suit. The satin of the waistcoat cum top felt odd against my skin, the stiff fabric of the suit making my arms want to hang weird, but all thoughts stopped as they looked me over.

How had I never seen it before? McDonalds held nothing back, and each man stared at me then as if they'd never seen me before or as if they'd been watching me my whole life. My eyelashes started to flutter as emotion surged, but that's when Millie stepped in.

"No, no, no. I used waterproof mascara, but that won't stop the eyeshadow from running. Stop with all of this Care Bear-stare shit and get your arses to the party. You can cry afterwards."

"I can't wait until some bloke sweeps you off your feet," Hayden grumbled, coming closer to me. "Then you'll look at him like he's the most amazing thing in the world, your whole heart aching with how much you love him."

"Is that what's happening right now?" I asked, but I knew. We were of the same mind, all of us now.

"One guy?" Millie said, shooting me a wicked smile. "I've been inspired by my bestie here. Monogamy was never really my thing, but poly-whatever the hell this is?" She nodded slowly. "I could get behind that. Or below. Under?"

"We are not talking about my baby sister getting multiple dicks right now." Hunter offered me his arm. "Shall we?"

Part of me didn't want to. After today's bullshit with my family, I was seriously considering going no contact with the lot of them except for Frankie, but I'd promised Nadia. She was amazing, somehow managing to redeem my dickhead brother into someone I could actually stand.

"Let's," I said finally.