CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

I held Reaver's hand and cradled Jadis against my hip as we walked under the twinkling lights strung across the City Hall.

I considered it practice for the future as I smiled at those we passed.

The little girl I carried was in her draken form, which meant her claws were buried in my hair, and I was pretty sure some of it was in her mouth based on how Reaver looked up at her with narrowed eyes.

Both draken had insisted on coming with me, although I had a feeling Jadis only wanted to go because Reaver had taken my hand.

The whole time I'd spoken with Erlina, I'd felt Ash's gaze. He wasn't the only one who watched my every move. So did Rhain and Nektas . Ash and I had shared with Rhain a month ago that we were expecting so he could assist Kye and Aios in gathering information. Of course, I wanted the others to know, but things hadn't been entirely peaceful over the last two months. There were outbursts of violence in several of the Courts once ruled by those loyal to Kolis. The ceeren numbers had been severely depleted, but they were still out there, with only a few swearing allegiance to Saion. We knew we hadn't rounded up all the Revenants, but we would. Then there were the draken loyal to Kolis. Not all of them had perished, and it wasn't until a few days after entombing Kolis that I thought of Sax, the draken who'd once served Eythos . When I asked Nektas if he had sensed Sax in the Bonelands , he'd shared that he hadn't. He hadn't joined the fight, and we didn't know if that meant he was dead or not. We were looking for him.

But once we were sure the last of those loyal to Kolis were dealt with—or, at the very least, no longer posed a great risk—we would share the news with everyone.

I could feel their eyes on me even now as I made my way back to our table placed before the dais. We hadn't eaten on the dais like two supreme rulers looking over everyone. Only Ehthawn was stretched out before the thrones, watching over everything. My heart panged for the loss of Crolee and the other draken —for Kars and all those we'd lost.

Well, not everyone.

While I was still conflicted over Veses , I wasn't exactly sad. My gaze swept over the smiling faces and moved to the colonnade's torchlit alcove. As joyful music echoed through the coliseum, a lone figure stood in the shadows, leaning against the wall, nursing a bottle of liquor.

Attes .

I'd seen him often these last two months. When he wasn't in Vathi assisting Lailah with establishing her rule and preparing Theon, he was in the Shadowlands. Ash had said it was because being in Vathi reminded him too much of his brother.

Reaver squeezed my hand. "Sera?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you sad?" he asked, and Jadis stopped tugging on my hair.

That damn notam .

"I'm just thinking about those we miss," I told him.

He nodded, his small lips pinched. "I think about my parents sometimes," he said after a moment. "I don't remember much about them, but I miss them."

"Does thinking about them make you sad?" I asked as I led them past a group of young godlings with wide eyes.

One of his shoulders lifted. "Yes, but Nek told me once that it's a good kind of sadness to have because it means you remember them, and memories will keep them alive with you."

I thought about that. Nektas was right. Ezra, Marisol, and my mother lived on in my memories, even if it hurt right now. And someday, I would visit them and my father. "That is very true." I glanced over at Jadis, who most definitely had my hair in her mouth. "Your father is very wise."

She chirped but I heard her soft voice say daddy .

My lips curved up as we neared the group of Primal goddesses. I'd never heard her call him that before. It was adorable.

The drumbeat rose, and the tempo of the music picked up. When I reached the Primals , I saw partners separating, forming two lines that faced each other.

"You all aren't dancing?" I asked.

Bele snorted. "I'd rather not have broken toes by the evening."

Aios rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her emerald gown. "I'm not that bad of a dancer."

"There are many reasons I love you, so'vit ," Bele said as Ione grinned from where she stood behind them. "But your dancing skills are not one of them."

"I'm sure the same can be said about your tact," Ione commented.

"I can agree with that." Aios laughed and leaned over to kiss Bele.

Grinning, I met Ione's stare. She stepped around them so she could hear me when I spoke in a low voice. "Any luck?"

Ione had been attempting to catch what she called an impression of Sotoria's soul. We weren't even sure if it was possible since it was held in The Star.

She shook her head. "Not yet," she said, clasping her hands. "I was thinking of entering the mortal realm and seeing if that helped."

Instinct told me that Callum was likely in possession of her soul, and it would be wise of him to stay far away from Iliseeum . But how long could he get by in the mortal realm? Thierran had also been traveling through dreams to see if he could pick up on anything, which was highly disturbing to think about, but we weren't even sure if whatever Callum was could dream. That was something I hadn't considered until Thierran mentioned it.

"Let me know what you find out," I said.

"Of course." Ione watched the couples loop arms as they met in the middle.

"I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not," Bele said from behind the rim of her glass, "but Jadis is currently eating your hair."

Ione did such a quick double-take that strands of dark hair smacked her chin. "Oh, dear."

"I think she's mostly nibbling on it," I said.

"As if that is better," Reaver said under his breath.

"I agree with that, little man." Bele winked at him.

Reaver beamed up at her.

"Are you still hungry, honey?" Aios asked, reaching up and gently tugging my hair free from Jadis's mouth. Her silver eyes were still a shock for me to see.

Eyes big and wide, Jadis nodded her little diamond-shaped head.

I wasn't sure how she was still hungry since she had eaten at least two platefuls. "Then let us get you back to your father."

Jadis gave my hair a tug of happy agreement, nearly jerking my head off my shoulders.

"Wow," Bele murmured.

I would have a sore neck by the time this night was over.

Avoiding the dancing, I skirted the edges of the Hall's floor. As I rounded the table, Ash's gaze followed me. I had to bite the inside of my lip to keep myself from smiling.

I came up behind Nektas . "I have something for you."

He shifted back and lifted his hands. Jadis reached for her father with one arm. "You need to let go of her hair."

For a second, I didn't think she would. Several strands were stretched across the space between me and where she was nestled against Nektas's chest.

"I fear you will have little hair left on your head," Rhain commented from the other side of Nektas . Beside him, Rhahar hid his snort behind his glass.

Nektas sighed, gently prying his daughter's claws free. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." Catching sight of Attes as I smoothed the strands, I smiled down at Reaver. "Will you do me a favor?"

He nodded eagerly.

"Can you keep Ash company for me while I speak to Attes ?"

Ash raised a brow but remained silent, sipping from his cup.

"I can." He drew out the word, looking over his shoulder at Ash while Nektas chuckled under his breath. "But he'd probably enjoy your company more."

One side of Ash's lips curved up.

"Not true. He always enjoys your company." Cradling the back of his head, I kissed his blond hair and met Ash's gaze.

He gave me a subtle nod.

The moment I let go of Reaver, he darted past Nektas and scrambled into the chair I had occupied. I watched a smile break out across Ash's face as he shifted his attention to the youngling. When I turned, Nektas caught my arm.

"He's not doing great," Nektas noted in a low voice, nodding toward the colonnade's alcove as he rubbed the spot between Jadis's wings. "Aurelia is worried."

I glanced up to see the female draken perched on the pillars above where Attes stood in the shadows. "I know."

I quickly passed the long table, spotting Saion with a deck of cards. I had no idea what was going on there, but the devious glint in the Primal's eyes and the way Theon sat across from him, shaking his head, told me Saion would likely gain some coin before the night ended.

Picking up the lacy skirt of my black gown, I climbed the short set of steps and crossed into the alcove. Attes didn't look at me as I approached, but he gave me an elaborate bow.

I shook my head at the gesture. "Surprised to see you standing in the shadows."

"I know. It does seem like something your husband would do." A quick grin appeared. There was no dimple. "There's really no reason."

I knew that was a lie as I studied his profile. In the last two months, there had been moments when Attes seemed more like his old self. He'd do his level best to annoy Ash. He'd laugh. He'd smile. But I only saw the dimples appear when he was driving Lailah mad about something. Then, there were all the other moments where he looked like he hadn't slept in several days. What concerned me the most was that, more and more, his features were utterly impassive, like he felt absolutely nothing.

"Please, don't," he said, his eyes meeting mine.

"Don't what?"

"Ask if I'm okay." He sighed, his gaze leaving mine again. "I am."

"I won't ask it," I said. "But I also know you're not."

He took a swig of what was likely whiskey. I followed his gaze, realizing he was watching Lailah dance with a man I didn't recognize. Her braids were down and flowed around her shoulders bared by her white gown.

"She looks beautiful tonight," I commented.

"She does."

My gaze roamed over the tall, dark-haired male as he lifted her and spun, sending the hem of her gown billowing. I sensed the man was a god, but I stopped myself from seeing more. "Who is she dancing with?"

"Some jackass."

I looked at him. "Then why aren't you dancing with her?"

"Because I'm a worse jackass." He grinned, and the dimple on his right cheek winked into existence. "I've been thinking."

"Oh, no," I teased lightly, even though I had a good idea exactly what he had been thinking about.

Attes's smirk was halfhearted. "I think it's time."

I drew in a breath that stung my throat. "When?"

"Tomorrow."

My eyes fell shut. Tomorrow ?

"I've stayed longer than I planned," he continued. "Lailah is ready. So is Theon. Vathi will be in good hands."

"Until you return," I added, my voice hoarse as I opened my eyes.

His stare met mine. "Until I return."

This time, I breathed through my nose. I wanted to tell him they weren't ready, but that wouldn't be fair to the twins, and it would also be a lie.

"Don't."

I blinked rapidly. "What am I not to do now?"

"Be sad."

A shaky laugh left me.

He lowered the bottle. "I'm not dying, Sera. I'm just going into stasis. I will be resting."

"I know, but…" My chest rose as I forced in a deep breath. "But I was hoping you wouldn't be ready."

Attes said nothing to that.

I lifted my gaze to his. "I will miss you."

He smiled and looked away. We stood in silence for several minutes, each watching Lailah and the others dancing.

" Attes ?"

"Yes, my Queen?"

"You'd better not take too long. I feel as if we will need your aid when it comes to keeping track of these two," I said, patting my stomach.

"Not sure if you really want my influence."

"And I'm pretty sure I do." I stretched up and kissed his cheek. "You're a good man, Attes ."

His cheeks pinkened, and I could've sworn I heard a low growl coming from the floor. "And I think you're trying to get me murdered before I can even go into stasis."

"He would never." I patted Attes's arm, reluctant to leave his side. "If you need anything between tonight and tomorrow…"

He nodded. I knew he wouldn't need anything. This would be the last time I spoke to him until…until he was ready.

I looked away from him, catching sight of someone who sent a bolt of surprise through me.

Ward stood beside Penellaphe , where she spoke with Ione. I had no idea where Bele and Aios had disappeared to. I hadn't expected to see Ward here. I'd figured the likelihood of him attending was about the same as Holland showing up. Ward looked over to where I stood, a faint smile on his handsome face.

"I'm going to go annoy your husband by complimenting how lovely you look in your gown." Attes pushed off the wall, drawing my attention back to him.

I arched a brow. "And here you were, just worried about being murdered by him."

"I decided watching him struggle not to throttle me is worth the risk," he said with a wink.

Laughing, I watched him make his way to Ash, knowing this was for the best. He was tired. He needed rest. He needed to heal so he didn't become his brother.

And when he was ready to return to us, we would be waiting.

I stayed where I was as Ward excused himself to join me in the alcove.

"I hear many congratulations are in order," he said, the skin at the corners of his eyes creasing with his smile.

I glanced down in surprise. I'd thought the style of gown, how it gathered under my breasts and with its loose waist, had hidden the small bump.

"It's not noticeable," he assured me.

"Then…" My head jerked up, and I sighed. "Holland?"

Ward nodded. "He wanted you to know that he's absolutely thrilled," he said. "He would've given the message to Penellaphe , but he hasn't told her."

"Really?"

"He knows it is wise for only a few to know at this time," He paused. "And he also knows that Penellaphe will be too excited not to blurt it out."

I looked over at Penellaphe , resisting the urge to cradle my stomach, something I found myself doing often for no reason at all. "You really think she will be excited?"

"Of course." A slight frown appeared. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"The prophecy." Since Penellaphe hadn't been there either time when we spoke with Keella , I had filled her in on what we had learned and what Aydun said. "You're aware of what we discovered?"

Ward nodded.

Something occurred to me then. "If we are somehow unable to prevent Sotoria from being reborn? A viktor will likely be involved."

The breeze ruffled his sandy-brown hair as he tilted his head. "I can't say for sure, but she would usher in great change."

"She will do more than just that."

His gaze lifted to mine.

"Holland said that none in my bloodline has ever hungered for power," I said after a moment. "Even those who held power. I imagine that will hold true, be they mortal, god, or Primal."

Ward was silent.

"If she is reborn and given a viktor , I want it to be you. I plan to get a message to Holland to let him know that I have requested this. I don't think he'll refuse. I feel like he owes me."

Ward's sea-blue eyes shot to mine. "I—"

"If not for you, I would not be standing here today. You saved my namesake and likely my life in Lotho ," I said quickly. "I trust you."

"You barely know me."

"I know that you would not kill a child," I replied.

He closed his mouth, but I swore I saw relief in his eyes.

I looked closely at him. "What did you think I was going to ask?"

Ward didn't answer immediately. "What my last Queen asked of me."

My brows flew up. "I would never ask you to kill a child."

"I do not mean to insult you with such a suggestion," he said. "But she will not be just a child, whether she hungers for power or not. She will wake the Ancients."

"I know." My fingernails pressed into my palms. "But until then, she will be a child. One day, she may become a great and powerful being, but she…" Pressure clamped down on my chest, and I had to count to five. "Kolis will be aware of her from the moment she's reborn. It may take him years after to free himself, but he will do so, and he will come for her. I doubt we will get lucky and have him only find her after she rises as this Primal." I absolutely hated what I said next because it made me feel like I was aiding in history repeating itself. That I was taking part in what I wanted to prevent Sotoria from ever experiencing again. "She will have no real memory of herself—or of Kolis and what he will do to her. And I assume the Fates will demand that nobody warn her in order to keep the balance." I spat the last word. "She needs to be trained to defend herself."

I held my breath for five more seconds. "Just as you trained the Silver Knight. Just as Holland trained me."

Ward was silent for several moments. "Okay." He nodded. "I will do as you ask. I will serve as her viktor with honor, and I will not fail you." His chin lifted. "I will not fail her."

Ash held my hand, running his thumb over the golden swirl as cups at the table were continuously refilled, and laughter mingled with the music.

I threaded the fingers of my free hand through Reaver's soft hair. He was half-lying on Attes with his head in my lap. Jadis had left her father to wind herself around Ash's shoulders. Why she liked that so much was beyond me.

My gaze flickered over those before us. I smiled at seeing Bele and Aios finally dancing, holding each other as they slowly swayed completely off-beat with the lively music. Lailah had joined Theon, both moving to sit opposite Attes . For once, Theon wasn't looking at Attes like he wished to punch him. They were actually having a conversation. I think that had a lot to do with the god sitting next to Lailah. It turned out he wasn't an asshole. He was one of Attes's generals. Farther down the table, Thierran had joined Ione and Penellaphe . Ward was with them, and they were watching a card game between Saion and Rhahar that had grown to include Rhain.

I glanced up at the colonnade. Aurelia was gone. Now, she sat on the other side of Nektas , having donned a linen gown that reminded me of what Jadis often wore.

It was the first time I'd seen her in her mortal form.

Aurelia had an earthy beauty to her and a husky, infectious laugh. I caught Nektas's lips curving up at the sound of it more than once as we all…as we all simply enjoyed one another's company.

Family.

That was what all of them were to me. To Ash. Family. With them, I would always be seen. Accepted. With them, I knew it would one day be easier to accept and live with the terrible things I'd done and experienced. That's what family did.

And I would do everything in my power to protect them. Just like we would do everything we could to ensure that a powerful being like a Primal of Blood and Bone wasn't created from our union. Our sons would, too. They had to.

But that sense of knowing filled me even as I sat there with my hand wrapped firmly in Ash's. The future wasn't completely written in stone. There were choices. Free will. There were things that not even the Fates could predict. There was love . What had not yet come to pass could be altered. I knew that. I believed in that.

But the two daughters had been promised eons ago. The rise of a great Primal of Life and Death had been seen. The remaking of the realms and the end had been foretold. When I looked down at Reaver, I knew in my heart and felt it written in my bones that she would return.

The true focus of the prophecy. The harbinger that would set Kolis free, unleashing death and destruction. She who would awaken the Ancients and leave the realms in ruin.

It had all started with her, and it would end with her. The one who was the beginning and the end.

The Queen of Flesh and Fire.

Sotoria reborn.

The Primal of Blood and Ash.

So, when that day came, we would be ready.

Until then?

Ash squeezed my hand. I looked over at him. Nyktos . My King. My husband.

My everything.

His lips moved in a silent I love you .

Until then?

We wouldn't waste a fucking second.