CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Ash's eather -streaked gaze immediately found mine. "What happened?"

Pursing my lips, I crossed my arms. "Was that really necessary?"

"I felt your anger but decided to let it go. I knew you were okay." He frowned, glancing at the others. All of them had lowered themselves to their knees, including my mother. At least, I believed she had. I couldn't see her anymore, so she was either on her knees or hiding beneath the table. "But then I felt your pain."

"I'm not hurt," I told him.

Ash was in front of me in a heartbeat, his hand on my cheek. "It was not physical pain."

My breath snagged. "This one-way-sensing-emotion thing is so damn annoying."

"What…?" Ash's eyes narrowed as he finally became aware of Callum's body. "What the fuck is he doing here?"

"That's what I was trying to figure out before you decided to show off," I told him. "Well, before I did that to him anyway."

Ash's gaze swung back to mine, and his voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. "I know it cannot be him who caused that reaction."

"It wasn't," Nektas interjected. "And you arrived at the perfect time. I was about to explain to her so-called mother who her daughter is."

Eather swirled madly through Ash's eyes, and his jaw hardened.

His gaze remained fastened to mine as he said, "Rise."

I tensed because I knew that tone of voice.

Gowns whispered over marble, and feet shuffled as I touched his arm. "Ash."

His thumb smoothed over my lower lip. "I love you."

I opened my mouth, but he silenced me with a kiss. And, gods, he kissed me like a man coming out of a drought, sipping and savoring until I felt a bit weak in the knees. There was no reason for him to kiss me like that in front of everyone, including my mother . Not that I was complaining, but my face felt like it was on fire.

Ash lowered his hand and stepped back. He faced those now standing at the table. Poor Lady Faber looked like she might pass out again as she smoothed a trembling hand over her gray-streaked midnight hair.

Lady Faber need not worry, though. Ash was focused on my mother like a predator when they spotted their prey.

"Your daughter is brave. More courageous than most. She is loyal, even to those who do not deserve such," Ash said, and his tone said he was talking about the present company as he stepped toward the table. Shadows peeled away from the corner of the lamplit chamber and gathered at Ash's booted feet. "And she cares deeply for others, even for those who, yet again, are not deserving."

Mother flinched.

"Your daughter cares deeply." Ash's low voice echoed throughout the chamber, bringing frost with it. "Even when doing so hurts her."

My chest lurched. "It's okay."

"No, it is not." Ash lifted a hand, and the table flipped high into the air, sending bowls and platters of food flying. It came back down, right on Callum. "Because none of those things has anything to do with who she has become."

"Ash," I said, stepping forward.

"Did any of them bow when you entered?" Ash asked.

"No," Nektas answered with a smug smile before I could point out that I hadn't given them time to or that there were far more important things to discuss.

"Perfect." Shadows rose up Ash's legs. "Bow."

Everyone at the table began to lower themselves before him.

"Not to me," Ash stopped them, swiping his arm toward me. "Bow to her , the One who is born of Blood and Ash, the Light and the Fire, and the Brightest Moon, the true Primal of Life and the Queen of the Gods and Common Man."

"Oh, my gods," whispered Marisol as she lowered herself to one knee, her mouth hanging open. Her parents did the same.

Everyone looked shocked. My mother couldn't even move. But Ezra…

She smiled and shook her head as she lowered to her knee. "It makes sense," she whispered, glancing at Marisol. Her eyes glistened as her gaze swung back to me.

"You do not bow?" Ash's voice was like the crack of thunder that had torn through the room earlier. "Do I need to repeat myself for you to understand?"

"You do not." My mother trembled, her throat working on a swallow. "I understood what you said. All of it."

I stiffened, my back becoming as unbendable as an iron rod while my mother lowered herself to her knees. She bowed her head, blue jewels glittering in the mass of icy pinned curls.

I jerked as Ash shadowstepped to my mother's side. " Ash ." I hurried forward. "Do not hurt her."

He knelt at my mother's side as smoky tendrils whipped inches from her cheek. "It is only by the grace of my wife that you live. I have told you that already," he said as small bits of ice clung to the hem of her gown. "But I am willing to face her anger to ensure that your sharp tongue leaves no more cuts." His head tilted. "Do you understand me?"

Trembling, my mother nodded.

"Ash," I repeated. "That's enough."

The curve of his lips was achingly cold. "For now, it is."

I opened my mouth, but Ash was suddenly in front of me. "Be angry with me later," he requested, kissing me again. "I need to return."

I wasn't sure if I was all that angry. Still, I nodded. "Callum—"

"I'll take him," he said. "And I will ensure he's given our best accommodations."

Knowing he was talking about the dungeon, I snorted.

Ash left my side and raised a hand. The table flipped over, revealing a sprawled but no-longer-leaking Callum.

The Revenant was already healing.

Ash gripped him by the back of the neck as his silvery gaze briefly met mine. He then looked past me to where my mother remained kneeling. "Remember what I said."

My mother's head rose. She didn't look at Ash. Her gaze was fastened on me. "I will."

"Sorry about the table," I said. Ash had returned to the Shadowlands with Callum, and we'd moved to one of the nearby sitting chambers. "I hope you all at least finished supper."

Ezra arched a brow and lowered herself onto a forest-green settee. Marisol had accompanied her parents to a separate chamber in an attempt to calm them.

"And for the new cracks in the walls," I added.

Nektas snorted from where he stood by the doors. I didn't have to look at him to know he was eyeing my mother.

"We had just finished supper, and I suppose the dining hall was in need of a remodel." Ezra smoothed the front of her waistcoat. There was nothing wrong with it. What she was doing was a nervous habit—the only sign she was disquieted by, well…everything. "So, you're the Primal of Life? How is that even possible?"

The simple bluntness of her question made me grin. I didn't think anyone would be able to handle this kind of news as well as she was, but then again, she'd known I had the power to restore life. As she had said in the dining hall, it made sense to her.

"It's kind of a long story, and I don't have much time," I said.

"Can you not make some?" Ezra countered.

I laughed dryly. "There isn't enough time in the realms for me to tell you everything. But I…" I sat on the edge of the chair across from her. "But I'll tell you as much as I can."

And I did, skipping over a lot, like how I'd been held captive, as well as Sotoria and her soul. I glossed over how close I'd come to dying. I also had to silence Ezra's understandable questions regarding the part about who Kolis really was.

By the time I got to my Ascension and awakening as the true Primal of Life, Marisol had returned and sat next to her wife. She stared at me like she had never seen me before.

I couldn't quite blame her for that as I smoothed my hands down my thighs. "So, yeah. That's it."

Ezra blinked and cleared her throat. "I am positive that is not it."

I smiled. "It is for now—"

"I believed you had died," Mother said.

My breath snagged as my gaze flew to where she sat. She hadn't spoken—not once until now—but I kept hearing what she'd said to Ash.

Nektas unfolded his arms, but my mother continued.

"The Rot disappeared in a flash. It was just gone." Her hands were still in her lap, but her knuckles were as white as Ezra's had been. "Only one thing could've done that. I figured you'd somehow fulfilled what we believed to be your duty—"

"If I had succeeded in killing who we believed to be the true Primal of Death, it would have been a catastrophe," I interrupted.

"I understand," my mother replied. "But we didn't know there was another way for the Rot to end. We'd only ever been told that the Rot would not lift until you killed the Primal of Death."

"I thought the same," Ezra said, drawing my attention back to her. "That you had succeeded by killing…" Her brows furrowed. "The correct one." She gave a small shake of her head. "And we knew…"

"I wouldn't have survived that," I murmured. "I get it."

"And Kolis?" Marisol asked, tucking a short strand of dark hair behind her ear. "He's the true Primal of Death?"

"Yes. And he's still alive. That's why I came here today. But I need to know what Callum was doing here." I cleared my throat. "And what he said."

"He arrived two days ago, I believe. We'd just returned from Massene , where we celebrated the Rite with Princess Kayleigh and her family," she said, and I tried not to think about the fate of the Chosen. Marisol's fingers dropped to her cream-colored blouse. "I didn't speak very much with him." She glanced at Ezra.

"Neither did I," Ezra told me. "He joined us for supper each night and mostly kept to himself outside of that."

Which meant…

I twisted in my seat. "He is the one who told you how a Primal can be killed."

My mother nodded curtly. "He arrived a few years after you were born and claimed he wanted to help us," she said, staring at the gold and mauve wallpaper. "He knew about the deal, so I…I believed him."

"He was right. That is how a Primal can be killed," I said. "Did you speak to him?"

"A few times." She swallowed. "He told me the Rot had lifted because you'd succeeded."

"What?" I exclaimed at the same time Ezra did.

"You never told me that." Ezra pitched forward to look around her wife.

"You already assumed she was dead," my mother replied, the corners of her mouth tightening. "But I knew you harbored some hope that she still lived. I didn't want to take that from you." She looked at me then. "He spoke the truth about that."

Confused, I rose from the chair. "He did. And that makes utterly no sense."

"Did he tell you she killed Nyktos ?" Nektas asked.

My mother shook her head. "No. I asked." She glanced between the two of us. "But he said he could not tell me how. I thought—well, you know what I thought."

What in the world was Callum up to? Part of me wanted to leave right then and beat him until he returned to life and answered my questions.

I began to pace. "What else did he say?"

"He talked about nothing of importance. He mostly seemed content with company, even if it was quiet," she said. "But when he wasn't here, he spent his time at the Cliffs of Sorrow."

Of course, he would spend time there, where his sister had died. "Gods," I murmured, hating the pang in my chest. I didn't want to feel empathy for him. Especially now. Not when I knew that fucker had a reason to be here. Still, I couldn't stop myself.

"You said he wasn't a god." Ezra spoke. "Then what is he?"

"An atrocity," I said, pulling my gaze from my mother's elegant profile. "The dead reanimated."

Marisol sat back. "You're saying Callum is that ?"

Callum was different, but I didn't see the point in getting into that when it would likely only confuse them further. "They are neither god nor mortal, created to serve only Kolis. And as you saw, they are very hard to kill."

"What if he comes back here?" Ezra asked.

"Summon—shit." My pace picked up as Ezra and Marisol tracked my movements. "I haven't felt any summonses yet, and Kolis is likely still sending gods loyal to him to the Temples." Frustration rose. "There has to be another way…" I stopped, closing my eyes as I concentrated. There was another way.

"Sera?" Nektas called.

"I'm okay. I'm just thinking." I knew the answer was in all the information I'd received during my Ascension. I knew it was—I spun back toward my mother, startling her. "Call my name."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes lifted to mine.

"If you need me, all you have to do is call my name, and I will hear you." Eather hummed throughout my body. "No matter what."

"That's all?" Doubt colored Ezra's tone. "She just shouts your name, and you'll come?"

"I don't think you need to shout it, but yes." Glancing at my mother, I exhaled slowly. "It's because we share blood."

"That makes sense," Nektas remarked.

"It does?" Ezra questioned wryly, and then her gaze sharpened on the draken . I had a feeling I knew what she would ask next.

I jumped in. "Promise me you will call for me if Callum shows again."

My mother nodded after a moment. "I promise."

A little relieved, I nodded.

"May we back up a moment? To Callum? I don't understand. I mean, I do on a basic level that I will likely be thoroughly confused about later when I think about it more…" Ezra said, and a small grin appeared on Marisol's face. "But if Callum serves Kolis, why would he tell anyone how to kill a Primal?"

"Trust me, I have the same question. And I plan to get the answer from him." That and the reason he was here just hanging out.

"That's not the only thing I'm confused about," Marisol said. "You said that gods loyal to Kolis were still answering the Temple summonses, but you're the true Primal of Life—" She laughed nervously. "And even as bizarre as that sounds, I don't feel all that surprised by it." She shook her head as Ezra and I shared a quick glance. "Anyway, I'm guessing Kolis won't remain the false King?"

"He won't. And that is why I'm here." I moved to a chair and sat. "I haven't gone into much detail about the horrors Kolis has committed, but when I say he has little respect for mortal life, I am not exaggerating. He cannot be allowed to rule." I was very careful about what I said next. " Nyktos and I are doing all we can to prevent a major conflict in Iliseeum ."

Ezra went still. "By conflict, do you mean a war?"

"Yes." I leaned forward. "But no matter what, there will be a fight, and it will be felt in the mortal realm. You have likely already felt it."

Marisol frowned. "There was a very bad storm a bit ago. I'd never seen anything like it. We lost a few ships."

I winced, guessing that had been a result of Hanan's death.

"There was also what appeared to be a bad lightning storm," Ezra added, her brows drawn. "One that seemed to linger only over the Dark Elms."

That was likely when I Ascended.

"You could see more of that," I continued. "Maybe even earthquakes and landslides."

Ezra swallowed and then did what she always did. She pulled herself together and nodded. "That will be unfortunate."

"Very much so." I curved my hands over my knees. "I want you all to be prepared over the next couple of weeks—maybe even months." I shifted my focus to Marisol. "I know this isn't easy to plan."

"It's not." Marisol took Ezra's hand in hers. "However, we won't be blindsided. We can prepare by upping our food storage and moving faster on our plans to improve the tenements." Her gaze met Ezra's. "They would be most at risk in the event of an earthquake."

"And we can begin creating temporary shelters," Ezra said slowly. "Winter is only a few weeks away, and while it will not be freezing like in the north or east, the people here aren't used to anything but hot and humid weather. They're enjoying things now," she was quick to add. "But winter…"

Winter, even a mild one, would be difficult for those unused to it.

Marisol's gaze swung back to mine. "What about the other kingdoms? Can we warn them?"

"We can send the missives all at once," Ezra said, lifting Marisol's hand to press a kiss atop it.

I had to fight my smile as I stared at them. They weren't just thinking of themselves but others—people they had never met and likely never would.

"Are we allowed to do so?" Ezra asked.

I glanced at Nektas .

"You're the Queen," he replied. "You can do as you wish."

"You sound like Nyktos ," I muttered, shifting my attention to the two before me. "I don't see why not, but I would advise against going into a lot of detail or bringing up Kolis. He can be very vindictive, and I do not want anyone catching his attention unintentionally."

"We won't," Ezra assured, slipping her hand free of Marisol's. "But what of you? Will you be okay?"

"Yes," I said. Not just because I didn't want to worry her but because I would be, damn it.

Ezra exhaled heavily. "Thank you for warning us."

"I wish I could do more."

"I know. And I also know that you must leave soon. But I do have one more question." Ezra clasped her hands together. "Though it's not for you."

I glanced between her and Marisol. "Okay."

Ezra's head turned to the rounded archway of the door. "You are not a god, are you?"

My eyes widened slightly.

"I am not," Nektas said.

"How did you know he wasn't a god?" I asked.

"His skin," she explained. "When we were in the dining hall, I saw…ridges appear in his flesh in the shape of scales."

"You're too observant for your own good," Nektas remarked.

"I do not believe one can ever be too observant," she countered, and I saw the corners of Nektas's lips rise. "Are you a draken ?"

Marisol gave a full-body jerk, and for a second, I feared she might end up on the floor like her mother.

"I am the first draken ," Nektas stated.

Ezra's mouth formed a perfect circle.

"Okay. Well, that's enough for today." I rose, knowing there were likely a hundred questions forming in Ezra's mind right now.

And I was right. "But—"

"I will return," I interrupted. "As soon as everything is settled. You can ask all your questions then."

Ezra huffed out an irritated breath. "You swear?"

"Did I not promise that I would return the last time?"

"You did." Ezra rose. "Do not break the promise this time because I will have a written list of questions ready for you."

I laughed. "You likely will."

"Your laugh." Ezra stepped toward me and then stopped. "I have never heard you laugh like that before."

"Really?" I felt my cheeks warming.

Her eyes glimmered. "You and Nyktos ? He called you his wife."

"He did." Now my cheeks were really burning. "We are married."

"And you love him?"

"I do."

Ezra smiled. "That is lovely to hear when he's clearly besotted with you."

Then Ezra shocked me.

She reached between us and took my hand in hers. I experienced a rolling tremor as I felt her warm skin against my palm.

"I am happy for you, sister."

Sister .

"Thank you," I said hoarsely.

She released my hand, and I turned away, still feeling her skin against mine. I said goodbye to Marisol, or at least I thought I did. I was in a state of shock.

Ezra had touched me and had done it so casually. I could count on one hand how many times she had done that in the past.

If she had only done so because of who I was now, I didn't care. It didn't matter.

" Seraphena ." My mother rose in a quiet rustle of silk. "May we speak? In private?"

Age-old tension crept in, erasing the shock. My feelings when it came to my mother were still as complicated as ever, even though I had a little better understanding of why she was who she was. Still, I was about to say no because I didn't need to continue allowing her to hurt me.

And that was both for my sake and hers.

But I remembered what I had seen snippets of, and what Ward had shared.

My namesake.

"We can," I said, and Nektas didn't look even remotely thrilled about that. "It's okay," I told him. "Can you give us a couple of minutes?"

"Do I have to?" Nektas didn't take his eyes off my mother.

"Yes." I walked past him, touching his arm. His bright gaze met mine. "Do not scare them."

He huffed.

Without even looking back at Ezra, I knew she was brimming with excitement about the prospect of having a few moments alone with the very first draken .

Actually, as I closed the doors behind me, I was more worried about him than I was about her.

My mother waited across the hall, standing at one of the windows overlooking the moonlit gardens. She faced me, expression without emotion in the soft, buttery light of the gas lamps.

Maybe I should be worried about myself.

"Thank you for speaking with me," she said.

I stopped a few feet from her.

She clasped her hands together and cleared her throat. "I don't know where to start, and we surely do not have enough time for that."

"No, we don't."

A faint smile appeared. "Is it true? You love him?"

Her question surprised me, and it took me a moment to answer. "I love him with everything I have in me."

She nodded, her gaze skittering over my face, and I wondered if she saw any of herself in me. Or if she only saw my father.

"I didn't mean to…upset you earlier when I asked what you were. Seeing you was a surprise. Seeing what you can do was a shock. I know that is no excuse," she went on quickly. "And I also know that how I treated you was not right."

"If you're attempting to apologize, it's not necessary," I said. "Or needed."

"But it is."

"For you?"

"No." She held my stare. "For you."

Shaking my head, I started to turn away.

"I wasn't a terrible mother to you," she said. "I wasn't a mother at all."

Halting, I slowly turned back to her.

"You grew up without a mother, even though I was under the same roof." Her lower lip trembled and then ceased. "I wish it had been different. That I had been better. Paid attention. Spent time with you. I just—" She cut herself off, her shoulders tensing. "It doesn't matter why."

But it did, didn't it? Yes, and no.

Her gaze flicked to the lit gardens. "When I believed you had died, all I felt was anger. Not at you, but at me." Her chin lifted a notch. "I just want you to know that."

I eyed her, unsure if she spoke the truth. If I wanted to, I could look into her soul like I had done with Eamon, the guard, but I resisted doing so. It wouldn't tell me if she was being truthful or attempting to get into my good graces now that I was the true Primal of Life, but…

"Why did you name me after the Queen of the Vodina Isles?"

Her gaze cut back to mine. "How…?"

"It doesn't matter how," I said. "Only why."

She stared at me for several moments, then blinked. "Your father. He told me about the deal before we married. He wanted to give me a chance to back out, but I was already so very much in love with him." Her voice cracked, and she inhaled sharply. "Most would not have shared what he did, but he was a good man. Caring. Thoughtful. Loyal. You have all his good traits." She blinked several more times, and I felt the air leave my lungs. "I knew what I was agreeing to if we had a daughter. Like a child, I hoped that we would not, but that was not what fate had in store for us." She swallowed again.

"When I held you, you didn't cry. You just looked up at me with your father's eyes, and I knew what you would face. I knew—or at least I believed—how it would end for you. You would need to be strong, tenacious, and even vicious to succeed. Just like the warrior Queen—the Silver Knight—who fought beside her King and slayed her enemies." Her fingers fluttered to the jewel at her neck. "I thought it would be a fitting name."

It was.

In more ways than one.

I tipped my head back, seeing the gold veining in the ceiling. Gods, I didn't know what to say or how to even feel. I wanted to let it go like I had with Ezra, but my mother was different.

However, I was also different now.

"I get it," I said, closing my eyes. "On some level, I get why you were the way you were. The deal. My father." Lowering my chin, I opened my eyes and met her stare. "But I don't know if I can ever forget all of that."

"I know," she whispered.

The back of my throat stung, and what I admitted to her next shocked me. "But I…I don't think I would have survived all I have—and, gods, it has been a lot,"—my voice broke as my thoughts flashed to Kolis and then Tavius—"if I only had my father's traits. They didn't get me through any of it. My stubbornness and will? Even my temper?" I laughed hoarsely. "Those weren't only the traits of the Queen you named me after. They are also yours."

My mother had gone completely still and silent.

"I'm not sure what that says or even means at the end of the day, but I…I would like to be able to forget. To let it all go," I said. And, gods, the truth I spoke did something miraculous. A little bit of the weight that was always on my chest lifted. I took a deeper breath. "I don't know much about my father and would like to learn more. Perhaps you can tell me about him when I return."

The former Queen of Lasania —the last Princess of the Vodina Isles, my mother—didn't hesitate. "I would like that," she said. "I would like that very much."