Chapter Twenty-Six

Clad in sweats, his chest bare, and Dug snoring between his legs, Brick tipped back the beer bottle and stared sightlessly at the baseball game playing on the television. Kane was out doing God only knew what with the local women, even after he'd been warned. Brick wondered if they'd soon be starting a support group for him.

The bell rang.

He cursed, wishing he could play possum. Maybe the person would go away. But Dug jumped up and barked ferociously, sounding like he meant business. Brick shook his head. "Yeah, you're real scary, buddy," he said. He looked around for a shirt, but he'd left it upstairs, so the hell with it. The person would have to be shocked at him being half-naked. Hopefully, it wasn't a female bent on healing his broken heart.

When he opened the door, his entire body froze. He stared helplessly at the woman before him, wondering if he'd literally thought about her so hard he was seeing a ghost. Because for the last two months, he'd dreamed of this.

"Hi, Brick. Can I come in?"

He tried but still couldn't move. Dug kept barking like a maniac. Brick squinted and leaned a bit closer. Was he drunk? Had he fallen asleep? Was he hallucinating? There was no way Aspen was on his porch. It was one of those fantasies he'd spun where she appeared, begged for forgiveness, and told him she refused to publish the book because she loved him more than a bestseller. Shit like that just did not happen.

"Um, Brick? It's me. I know you're probably beyond angry and maybe even hate me, but can I please come in? I have to tell you something."

He blinked. Holy shit, this seemed real. With a shaky hand, he undid the latch, and she stepped through the door. Her scent was the same, like orange blossoms and sunshine. She wore jeans, a V-neck yellow T-shirt, and sneakers. Her hair was in a ponytail, but curls had escaped and lay against her cheek in disarray.

Damned if his gut didn't clench like he'd received a sucker punch.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a high voice, barely able to register his reality. Dug jumped up and down, whining, and like she'd done so many times before, Aspen sank to her knees to cuddle and pet him, smothering him with affection.

Had he gone back in time in his messed-up head?

"I'm sorry I sprang this on you. I've been driving nonstop, and all I could think about was getting here. To tell you some things. Things I'm not sure how you'll feel about."

"Why aren't you in New York? Is Sierra okay?" Panic filtered in. "Are you okay?"

"We're all fine. I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine. I'm fucked up and trying to fix it, but only God knows if it's too late."

He shook his head hard. "Aspen, I'm really confused right now. I've only had two beers, but I feel drunk. If you're really here, and no one's hurt, then why? Why are you suddenly on my porch asking to come in?"

She rose to her feet and met his gaze head-on. Those beautiful cocoa-brown eyes were filled with such pain and regret it seared right through him. "I'm here because I made a terrible mistake. I made the wrong choice, and I'm begging for a do-over. I chose the book—this book I thought I wanted so badly. The book that would put me back on top and confirm I'm the bestselling author Ryan never believed me to be. I chose a life I created too many years ago before I met you, Dug, Marco, and everyone else out here. I don't want that life any longer, Brick. I don't care about anything but you. I love you with my heart and soul. And if you take me back, I'll choose you first every single time."

His head spun. "What happened with the book? Were you unable to write it?"

She shook her head. "I wrote it. My agent said it was perfect. I took what happened between us and created a story that had all the elements of a bestseller. But I changed my mind. I called my agent and pulled the book. Canceled the contract. I'm not publishing it."

Shock barreled through him. Was she telling him the truth? How could she have written the book and then refused to sell it? "Wait. Are you even able to do something like that?"

A laugh burst from her lips, and her eyes danced with satisfaction. "I just did it. Oh, sure, everyone freaked out bad. My agent wanted to call me a therapist, but after a deep discussion, she agreed to do what I asked. Nic got me out of the contract, and she's still keeping me as a client. I'll give back the advance, which I banked anyway. I'm done with my publisher, of course—my reputation won't be the best for a while—but I'm sure it will work out. Worse things have happened in the industry, and writers got second chances."

Only one question spilled from his lips. "Why?"

"Because I love you more," she said simply.

Brick stared at her. Since she'd left, he'd fantasized about this exact scenario but had woken up every morning to an empty space and the realization that she hadn't picked him when it mattered most. Aspen had stuck to the contract, even after she fell in love with him.

In that moment, all he wanted was to yank her against him and drag her to bed. Show her all the ways he'd missed her. Finally release all the hurt and pain deep within her body and forgive. The happy ending was right before him. Her eyes shone with hope. Her beautiful lips trembled as she waited for his answer. All he had to do was step forward and claim it. Claim Aspen Lourde for himself.

Until the truth hit him full force.

After they climbed out of bed, things would still be broken between them. There was no more trust. Brick could forgive, but he couldn't forget. And he couldn't spend his days worried about the next time she left or a new book she couldn't write because she was too happy.

God help him; it was too late. Even if he loved her.

Brick swallowed the lump of regret and retreated a few steps. The wall he'd cultivated over the past two months held strong as he remembered how she'd walked away. He couldn't live through that again. Better to keep things the way they were.

"I'm sorry, Aspen. It's too late."

His words rang through her hollow body, and it took her a few seconds to register his distance. While she was ready to blow up her life to give Brick one big, grand gesture, he'd been slowly healing and didn't want her back .

Shock vibrated in her bones. Had she really expected things to go smoothly? She wasn't living in a romance novel. This was real life, and it was messy. Ups and downs. The type of relationship she didn't understand but wanted to.

But yeah, she needed to be real with herself. Aspen had hoped that showing up at his front door, not publishing the book, and moving to OBX would be enough.

Apparently, this was no rom-com with a breezy, easy ending.

She fought back her grief at this new Brick Babel who looked at her with politeness instead of open hunger. The emotion he'd shown when he first opened the door had cooled. It was as if he'd retreated a safe distance and refused to come out.

He kept talking. "I appreciate you telling me all this. But you can publish the book, Aspen. You were always clear about what you wanted from the start. I'm the one who screwed up."

She took a desperate step forward, then stopped. "No, I screwed it up because I wasn't brave enough to take a risk. I got stuck on the goal of the stupid book and refused to see what was right in front of me. I'm not afraid anymore, Brick. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

It was the sadness in his ocean-blue eyes that told her she'd truly lost him.

"It's too late, Aspen," he repeated gently. "I can't go back to the way it was. I told you I loved you and asked you to stay. When you made your choice, something broke between us that we'll never get back."

Tears burned her eyes. "What if I gave you some time? Some space? We could talk and go slowly."

"I can't. I don't trust you anymore. Not with my heart."

The brutal words hit like shrapnel and broke her into pieces. She choked on the grief, wanting to crumble and cry and beg in front of him. But he didn't deserve that. She was the one who'd left and betrayed him. If the roles had been reversed, she would have felt the same.

Aspen had figured things out too late to save them.

"I understand." She knelt and kissed Dug on his bumpy head, then straightened. "There are no words to make this right. I think words are what got me into trouble in the first place. The wrong ones." He waited silently, the space between them more like miles than inches. "I can only hope that somewhere down the line, we can be…friends." Her smile was weak, but she battled through. "Because you're the most beautiful man I've ever met. Inside and out."

She turned to grasp the doorknob. "Aren't you going back to New York?" he asked.

Aspen shook her head. "No. I meant everything I said. The book won't be published, and I'm moving out here. I want to be by my sister, around people I care about. But I promise not to bother you. If you don't want to see me, I respect your decision. I never want to hurt you again."

He didn't say anything, so Aspen did the only thing left to do.

She walked away.